Wellyoudidask

I quite like the aussies. When I went on holiday in Bali I had quite alot of fun with the aussie males when I went clubbing. It was great.

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They're alright to go clubbing and having fun with..... but at the end of the night I'll bet the small penis was a bit of a let down...

totster

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Lol. I didn't go that far I was having too much fun playing with them in the dance floor.

Yea we beleive you

An Aussie and a Kiwi walking through trafalger square in london,loads of pidgeons flying about as usual, aussie says to the kiwi " ere wot would you do if a bird shit on your ead " .kiwi replies " i wouldnt fackin see her again ! "

I quite like the aussies. When I went on holiday in Bali I had quite alot of fun with the aussie males when I went clubbing. It was great.

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They're alright to go clubbing and having fun with..... but at the end of the night I'll bet the small penis was a bit of a let down...

totster

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Lol. I didn't go that far I was having too much fun playing with them in the dance floor.

Yea we beleive you

The Queen visits Australia

Part 2 - Queen hits 738 in backyard cricket match

Newcastle, February: A backyard cricket game turned into a beer-fuelled slog-a-thon when the Queen smashed a massive 738 runs in a marathon 19 hour innings that neighbours described as "bloody noisy".

The Queen took to the crease shortly after her 4th beer at 8am, and batted through until 3am the following morning showing form that onlookers likened to "a pissed Bradman". The backyard, littered with empty VB cans, came into it's own midway through the afternoon with the introduction of the "Hit a can, Skull a can" rule. But the extra alcohol did not dent the Queen's concentration, says Johnno: "The more she drank the straighter she played. The beer just made her better."

Johnno, who had smoked cones in the afternoon drinks break, admitted to not helping the cause by bowling 47 wides in a single over.

The match, extended into the night by backyard floodlights, finally ended in controversial circumstances when Johnno, unable to locate the ball, bowled the sack from a wine cask and took out middle stump. David Boon described the innings as "&lt;deleted&gt; tops".

ANYONE FOR CRICKET ?

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."

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One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.

The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, rejected, turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.

"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

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Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.

He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed.

"Yes, I did." he replied.

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh...she got fired too."

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A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."

Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.

I just bought a magic wallet made out of elephants foreskin,.when you rub it it turns into a suitcase !

I am far from nieve, ignorant, or inexperienced in the ways of the world.

Sorry for being blunt, but having read your first post and your replies to some of the responses you got, it seems you aren't as "far from naive, ignorant, or inexperienced in the ways of the world" as you think you are...

If you really have lived for any extension of time in any 3rd world country and you are not one of those blind daydreamers these boards are full of, you should have noticed the many common themes in those cultures and their social dynamics. Asia, Africa, (Mexico and Central and South) America or (East) Europe, it doesn't matter.

Contrary to what you wrote, it seems you aren't really looking for opinions and advices too. Anyway here is mine: 40 years old? Let me guess, her last "relationship" has been with a foreigner...

You are looking for love in the wrong places and in the wrong ways.

Good luck.

SO IS IT A WOMAN UNDER 40 ,NEVER BEEN WITH A FARANG HE NEEDS ? DOSENT SAY A LOT ABOUT US DOES IT,.

get real guy. odds are she a hooker........lol.

we all know yours is different.....lol.

from what i hear not mut hope for 40 year old in thailand. they considered so way over the hill its not funny....lol.

You could very well be the reason there are wars! Maybe if you stopped hearing things and started to look more, you may find a ray of sunshine in your life. I never heard age was a prerequest to the quality of a person. Because she is 40 does not mean she is any less of a person. Which is probably why she is not with you. I wish you well.

May be the sort he has had in the past, ..its hard to soar like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys !

Wow! After spending many weeks researching, reading, and looking for a discussion forum, I find most leads discouraging.

I met a Thai women on the internet 3 years ago. We communicated almost daily for nearly a year (maybe a little less). The conversations were pleasant and intriguing and we learned much about each other. But I had some computer trouble and when I returned I pursued someone else, thus, the conversation with the TG ended. Albiet, I thought of her often. Subsequently, the two us renewed our conversations several months ago. We both had relationships that did not work out during the time we did not talk. But, she was apparently very hurt by the guy she was involved with. Turns out he had plans with someone else besides her. Neverless, we are both happy to be talking again and glad we are not with someone else. Things have progressed to the point where I will goto meet her soon. So, I began to research her culture and customs which seem to delight her. In doing so I have mostly come across conversations, articles, blogs that are usually about mistrust, scheming, ripoffs and lack of confidence in Thai women. A rather shocking amount of material relates to this when searching on the internet, including this forum. Although I am very happy to read here there are people who are happy and are not participants in the sex trade there. I am far from nieve, ignorant, or inexperienced in the ways of the world. Admittedly, Thai culture is new for me. I did not go searching for a Thai woman, we just happened to fall for each other. The woman who I am going to see has the same history now as she did 3 years ago, works for the same company, and has never caused me to raise an eyebrow, until I started reading. Suddenly, I find myself filled with doubt about a woman who I believe is a 'good girl'. Instead of continuing to learn more about her I started to retrace previous conversations seaching for weak points and almost exploiting them to fulfill what I had been reading. Yet, I still dont have reason to believe she is a con of some sort or another. I was somewhat taken back at the sense of posessiveness she demonstrated, but after I read more, I understood it, we talked about it and we reached an understanding about where we are headed in our relationship, and she is more at ease now. She is 40, never married, I am 44, divorsed, and we have many of the same goals that we are Interested in sharing with each other. The natual progression is to meet and see if we are compatable. She feels the same way.

I am not writing all this to annouce my life in public, but as a brief synopsis to reveal how the negative material being written can have a negative impact on what could be a very rewarding relationship with someone who maybe a wonderful person. Thus, I may be disheartened by what I read by Some, but certainly not discouraged at giving myself and someone who I believe is a wonderful person a fair chance in life. I thank all those who on here who combat the negative and remind others that not all people are the same. There is good and bad in all societies, and I am glad to have found some who renewed that fact in me.

I look forward to any advice or opinions.

ANY CHILDREN ?

I work security in the states and I use to work at a Shopping Mall, One night one of the cleaning crew found a checkbook and it was a wallet also, whole bunch of credit cards and the big thing 3,000 dollars in cash. It was a ladies wallet. The cleaning lady turned it into me, Of course I had to inventory it and put it in lost and found. But if you find it how can that be stealing, say the cleaning lady or myself decided to keep it. would I or the cleaning lady be accused of stealing??

If you had access to the owners name on a credit card etc then you in my opinion would have been stealing and id question your honesty and dont think you should be in that job !

Stealing? Probably not. But you do have the moral responsibility to at least try and find the poor person who's lost it.

I left my Apartment in Tokyo this morning on my way to the airport, I was walking towards Roppongi Station when I spotted something on the pavement, up against a wall and some leaves nearly covered it.

I walked past, then decided to check it out, it was a Cartier Watch............lucky me.....Unfortunately a Ladies model , but what a find!

I am in Hong Kong now waiting my connection and have been upgraded to business class....also I went to the duty free shop where they sell Cartier watches in Hong Kong airport and they confirmed its not a copy.

So all in all a good day, whats the best thing you have ever found, and kept !

My current wife !

Presumably, when you say you have a new card withing a couple of days you are not talking about it being sent to Thailand. My card company refuses to send replacement cards to a registered Thai address due to increased interception and fraud.

UK financial institutions should adopt the procedure done since years by U.S. and some banks in Europe and Singapore. credit cards are sent but have to be activated with a code by the recipient. with american cards it's a bit complicated as the activation is normally required from the homephone.

I think most/all already do. When I receive my new UK card (at my UK address) I have to phone the bank and answer several security questions before it is activated.

Why dont credit cards put our photos on cards ? it would help

thai credit cards have no credibility in my experiance outside of the kingdom. 1, very low credit limit, 2, useless to use aboroad.

Hmmmm.... not sure whether I would want a limit much bigger than $10k USD, but I guess not everyone is a high rolling Louis Vuitton limited edition kind of guy, I know I am not ;-) Never had it not work abroad, but then again, I only travel around the globe ocassionally, I am not Herr Taksin. Other than that....don't really agree with you but wha'eva.

Andy1308 is a good example of who can get a card; decent income, paperwork, etc = no problems. :-)

35k is pretty low and actually below the threshold for many countries to even get a work permit; not surprisingly many banks do not wish to lend to such a person. (and effectively a CC is a form of revolving loan).

But worth trying; in my own experience, the purpose built CC companies tend to be better excluding Citibank who are fairly hopeless for non-Thais (and arguably the biggest source of unsolicited direct marketing in Thailand; get ready for endless spam phone calls if you have a Citbank card). Am express is another option, but again, I think you may be pushing the praverbial with 35k income.

Incidentally, BOT regulations are I think a max of 5X monthly salary; based on this 35k would be getting you a limit of something like max 175,000b or about $3.5k USD - not too small IMHO.

Iwas selling cars in calif, we had a doctor come in ,wanted a car on finance, ( we had a 0 per cent interest deal on certain models ) after running his trw we saw he had $100.000 limits on his credit cards ( this was in 86,).he drove off out in it in 30 minutes

you must be in bad shape. in usa they give credit card to dead people...........only joking.

I have actually heard stories of dead people, pets, etc.. being issued cards in the US

To the OP, if you only want the card for booking hotels and order online (and don't actually need the "Credit") why don't you just get a bank account that provides you with a visa or mastercard debit card?

There is alot more safety in a credit card, let me explain what happened to me, i had my debit card cloned, i went to draw money from an atm in bkk and was refused, over available amount,. well i knew this was wrong as i had had just had 10k uk paid in,. i rang the bank that explained i had just ( according to them ) purchased an item in korea emptying my account, i went pale !,. explained that it was impossible as i was currently in thailand and have never been to korea!,. now here is the difference, they wanted a written letter stating i was not in korea and that the transaction was fraudulant, they then would look into it and if found to be correct they would reimburse me,.( this is barclays ) one month later after sending them an original ( fax no good ) letter i had the money refunded, if that happens on a credit card transcaction you ring up ,notify them and immediatly it is taken off your balance and they begin an investigation, true story scared me to death, i immediatly increased the limits on my cards and use them only..there are no fees if pay off monthly!,. id rather lose a credit card compaies money than my own,.

<P>I applied for a credit card at SCB and was surprised to be turned down. I am the MD of a Thai company. I was told that it was the bank's policy not to give credit cards to foreigners. There was a way around it though. I spoke to the bank manager and she said that if I deposited an amount equal to the credit limit I wanted into a fixed account I could have a card. The bank would keep the savings book as a guarantee of payment. That's what I did and I now have a Visa and Mastercard. BTW not true to say that Thai issued credit cards have no credibility in other countries. Visa and Mastercard are accepted internationally regardless of country of issue.</P>

Agreed if it has the visa or mastercard logo its good anywhere,.they did the money up front credit cards in the states for new customers seeking a credit rating, it worked well, Try renting a car in the states without one, you are an instant pedestrian !

then ask your freinds,

also if you are looking to apply for a credit card in thailand i think its time to go home

Be nice, he may want one for car hire in another country or internet purchases or similar,

A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London to Melbourne, Australia

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Aussie asked for a rum and coke, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Aussie then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."

Driving examiner on a test says to kiwi woman " what was the last road sign you saw ,kiwi broad replies" ,pick your own strawberries ? "

Kiwi walked ito a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, barman says ,where do get him from ? parrot sats, started off as wart on me foot !

I and various engineers have tried everything to find out why she wont start after I have driven somewhere and stopped for a while......It turns over well so its not battery trouble. She just doesnt Fire? It doesnt happen all the time......only a couple of times a day.

However, when I disconnect the Battery for a few minutes and reconnect it , it usually starts!. She's only done 100000km and is in all round very good condition. Uses no oil etc.

It has only developed this fault since the Dash was removed to allow the Aircon to be fixed. It was leaking water inside the car.. Of course I took it back and complained and the guy checked everything, without success......Most of the time it goes well.

I have a security system installed but I have it switched off all the time.

Tried to get advice from Holden in Australia but they ignore my Emails.

What shall I do now? I live in Pattaya.

Cheers.

i had this problem with a nissan, the battery sounded fine, however was hardly producing enough spark to get going, the battery sounded fine, and the cranking sounded fast enough, but it wasnt, its worth a try , put another battery on

( a new one ) tell the garage you will purchase it if it starts !

Sorry I missed the point regarding security dictating the one piece rule and this is where the procedures at T3 are a bit ar5e about face and hence creat the log jam. Last time I passed through T3, January this year, they weren't enforcing this rule and I haven't heard anything about it through any other source. As you quite rightly point out security should be concerned about WHAT is carried through not, unless LAG's, the quantity. It is not unusual for businessmen to carry a briefcase and a laptop so, unless the security guy was in the wrong, this is going to cause more grief for travellers.

As for your comment about folks buying shed loads of duty frees, the last line in your OP says it all. Anyone who buys duty frees at virtually any airport, except for those travelling to the UK, need their head examined. There are, from memory at Schipol and I think this is Europe wide, two sets of duty frees, one with a universal Euro level of duty available to those travelling within the EU and another duty free for those travelling outside. Another way our wonderful government makes sure they get every last drop of blood out of the stone.

Anyway 1700 Baht works out around 25 quid depending on exchange rate, a lot better than the UK price of around 60. I am really glad I don't smoke.

Ibought some goods at boots in T3, when i pointed out that they were more than the high st the assistant quipped " yes the overheads here are more too " ,absolute con,. all these duty frees are a con,.

Warning to all who are going to be departing UK via Heathrow. I flew out of Heathrow on the TG flight on Sunday night, Checked in no problems and made my way to immigration etc with one briefcase and one laptop. Was stopped at security and told only ONE piece of hand luggage allowed.

Realising that by fighting the establishment would get me nowhere, I asked how this rule could be got round as I certainly would not check in either of my two hand carried items ! Was told go to a shop and get a big plastic bag and put my computer inside ????? but I pointed out that there would still be two hand carried pieces !!

Ok then was the reply, take your computer out of the case, pack the case into your briefcase and then carry both through Did I really need to point out again that this would still mean two hand carry pieces ? Anyhow thats what I did and was allowed through. Madness pure madness !

And by the way, anyone who thinks that our new airport here is bad should take a close look at Heathrow, it is disgusting Oh! nearly forgot a carton of duty free ciggies there costs 1700 Baht compared with 450-500 here. DUTY FREE - go figure

When i took my wife to LHR for the first time we both thought we had got off in nigeria !.all the imigration officers were coloured ! now im not racial prejadice ( i married a thai ) but jeez what a first impression,

my daughter was born in the bangkok/pattaya hospital in August 2003, a natural birth which seems rare in that hospital as every other farang/thai couple who i have spoke to who had a baby there all seemed to have a c-section near enough forced on them. Anyway total cost was about 25,000 baht which included wife daughter having own private room with bathroom for 2 nights. Everyone who had a c-section was paying 40,000 baht upwards and this was best part of 4 years ago, so i can only guess what their prices will be now.

The same was told to us in the bkk ptt,doctor checked my wife and said ill be back in an hour to do ceaserian,25 minutes later staff were on the phone to him to come lil lil as my wife was about to drop, as he arrived back my daugher debbie was almost out,. the best day of my life, but the doctors trying it on still to do a c-section is not on, dont forget all the hospitals here are a business and will try it on,..just go into a doctor for a headache, youll come out with a worse one with 15 different medicines !

Well chris198, is it a Thai business?

How could he sell it all if he only owned half ? we need to know more

AUSTRALIAN BIRD ,.

This is a joke forum right ? ,Well ere goes,. Three men one English,one Italian, and.. an Aussie ! in a pattaya bar duscussing making love to their wives,.,. The engligh guy says, we have a great sex life, i get home about 2am wake her up with a chang beer,then we make love for at least. ohh 20 minutes ,when i look at her on the bed after she is hovering on the bed in estacy,.( this said in an italian accent ) italian guy says, theese is nothing, i get in about 3am with a bottle of wine from tops ,wake her up and we drink wine together ,then we make love for about 2 hours, when we finish i look at my wife and she is actually floating a foot above the bed in pure heaven !,,. So now the aussie pipes up./ Thats fack all mates, i get in about 6, wake the old bag up,roll her over, whack one up the gary glitter, im done in 5 minutes,. i get up wipe me dlick in the curtains and she hits the facking roof !!

I got a bit of a surprize the other day. While driving into Khon Kaen, I was pulled over at a roadblock. No problem I thought, Im obeying the law and have my Thai license.

The cop told me I had to pay 400 baht for driving in the passing lane. Its a divided highway with two lanes each side. I said I dont get it, whats the problem. He said the right hand lane is for passing only. We discussed it awhile and he called over his boss. I explained that I was passing a car, but that unlike most drivers I see here, I pull out to pass when Im about 50 meters from the vehicle Im passing and then I wait till Im about 50 meters passed before I return to the lefthand lane. I said its much safer that way than just whipping around a car coming within a meter or so of the other car.

The guy was very nice, asked about me, where I live etc, and said he would just give me a warning this time. He also said from now on, dont stay in the passing lane too long. I didnt want to get into how long was too long, I just gave him a few wais and thankyou very much.

I really didnt know it was illegle to drive in that lane and probable many others dont either.

Well, now I know, but that brings up a question. A couple kilometers past where I was stopped, the road changes to 4 lanes. Where is one supposed to drive on a 4 lane highway?

It's well known among the Thai's in Issan about getting stopped in KK for this very thing. My wife warned me long before we reached KK so I stayed in the correct lane and no problems.

They do the same thing from time to time on the road between Udon Thani and Nong Khai. They use a camera there to catch 'passing lane' drivers. Same 400 baht fine but can be talked down to 200 baht. They got me fair and square so I paid the 200 with no complaints. I was going 140 in the passing lane kilometer after kilometer. Strangely they didn't care that I was going 50kph over the speed limit.

Probably should have started another topic ,but has anyone ever pleaded not guilty to an offense and gone all the way to court ?

Even on Thaivisa I don't think anyone is that foolish.

Yes - I pleaded not guilty...and got off. This happened around three years ago.

A long wheel-based lorry was trying to come round a bend of a tight and busy Bangkok soi. I stopped my pickup whilst he gingerly edged forward towards me. He necessarily came over the solid yellow line...then gashed my vehicle with his trailer side-hinges.

To cut a long story short, the other driver claimed I'd driven into him. With insurance assessors in tow, we trundled off to the local police station (Suan Plu), at my insistence. A/the senior officer there refused to have the site inspected (I explained it was physically impossible for the lorry to have negotiated the bend without crossing the solid yellow line). This cop was extremely obnoxious throughout my time at the station, and he received the same disdain from me.

This cop charged us both with careless driving (cab rut bamat). The other driver accepted this and payed his 1,000 baht fine. I refused.

Standing in collar & tie right in front of the full holding cell, I was fingerprinted and told I would have to go to court. This cop promised me that the judge (san) would never take my word over that of a Royal Thai Police officer. I retorted that the court certainly would accept the truth of my case if the judge was impartial since any other interpretation of the evidence was nonsensical.

I left the station with an appointment date to meet the prosecutor at the court offices. I left with faith in the system.

I visited the prosecutor - he reviewed the case and asked me to come back the following month. I did so - he told me that the prosecution service did not want to waste their time trying to prosecute me since the police case was without merit. He explained that he was sending the case back to the police for their review - it would be prosecuted if the police refused to withdraw the charge.

Following visit (yet another month later): no change - the prosecutor was still awaiting the police reply.

I then received a letter informing me that the charge had been dropped. My insurer then agreed to pursue the other driver's insurance for full damages to my pickup (only around 3,500 baht).

Money was never the issue (in fact, I never did bother to have the repairs carried out) - I simply never pay up if not at fault. I'm sure there are many here who would consider I should just have paid the fine rather than endure the considerable inconvenience - that would not be in my nature.

Rgds

Khonwan

Would you do it again ?