richardjm65

Anyway, the other day I was getting my daily fix of the Thailand websites, and among the various forum topics was one I felt I could not miss. Directed at we “old hands” in Thailand, it queried what it was that we thought Thailand might have contributed to civilization in general and, in particular, its usefulness or value to the individual. As luck would have it, I came upon the thread fairly early and was therefore able to watch the content grow to several pages. Though there were a few references to Thailand’s cuisine, (though not the Issan diet of weeds and beetles with the obligatory chillies and the truly malodorous fermented stink fish sauce), and the odd reference to the charm of its people, the architecture, and the veritable cornucopia of copy goods at bargain basement prices, the one that won, far and away, hands down and without any shadow of a doubt was, yes, you guessed it - the bum hose. This, of course, is a fixture in most domestic semi-civilised bathrooms here (though not, rather curiously, in many hotel bathrooms) and generally has its ubiquitous presence at or near to the right of the toilet, convenient for the spraying of water upon the private parts to cleanse them after (shall we say) activity in that region. Now, since discovering the joyous usefulness of this device many years ago, I admit to giving it very little further thought until, that is, the subject of Thai offerings to the world came up on the forum, at which point I gave it some considerable further thought and decided that it was a subject I could share with others and perhaps enlarge upon. At this point I should add that I remember as a child the uncomfortable usage of the only toilet paper that my father would allow in the house, which was Jeye’s Hygenic Toilet Paper which you tugged out of its container by the sheet. It had the consistency of tracing paper together with its absorbent qualities and so, when I now think about it, it is hardly surprising that our family relationships were sometimes a little strained. My father, I recall, suffered with piles, and indeed how could we not all have problems in those sensitive areas when all the Jeye’s was really doing was to spread things (there’s no gentle way to say this) in thinner and thinner layers without really Cleaning Things Up. Do you get the idea? Rather than have me expand on that, just take a moment to ponder on it, privately and at your leisure.

So, the Thais gave us the bum hose, though the French could undoubtedly lay claim to a clumsier and, (from the English point of view), totally laughable piece of kit. But perhaps the time has come to introduce a commercially viable, modern version of the Thai bum hose to the long-suffering Brits and, indeed, any other nation that would care to look at the world through new eyes, so to speak. In Thailand the bum hose water emerges at a comfortably agreeable temperature whilst the device, in its basic Thai form in England, would, for most of the year, deliver a spray of water only fractionally above freezing to British nether parts. This would not do at all. Take another moment to think about it. Picture yourself attending to nature first thing on a January morning, when it’s still dark outside and the roar of the central heating furnace is telling you it’s way below freezing out there. Still with me? Connection to the hot and cold water supply would be equally hazardous – relive those moments of trying to get a shower properly temperature balanced before diving in – get the picture?

So what is needed is a tapping off the cold water supply to a reservoir tank (size dependant upon number of family members, estimated frequency of usage and so on), that supply being controlled by a ballcock (for the cheaper versions) or an electronic float switch in the more sophisticated models. Water temperature in the reservoir would be controlled by a thermostatically operated heater similar to that used to maintain the temperature in tropical fish tanks and, once again, that temperature could be adjustable in the de luxe versions. The rest is simple – a low capacity demand pump which operates when the pressure in the reservoir is reduced by operating the spray head trigger. This shuts off the moment the spray trigger is released, of course.

Understand that the idea is still in its formative stages and would inevitably require input from ‘elf an’ safety, but as a concept…….. what do you think? The super de luxe version could perhaps feature a scented or gently medicated infusion system – the possibilities are endless and in my view there’s a fortune to be made if, during my absence from Perfidious Albion, the idea has not already had its day. It would need skillful marketing, naturally enough and, of course, a product name. “Shitbegone” has a pleasant chime to it, or “Bottyfresh”, perhaps “Ringmaster” or even “Crapaway.” Because the vast majority of Brits would have no ready knowledge of how to manage the small shower spray head on its flexible hose, video clips or VCD’s could be made available – even a possible slot on one of the commercial TV channels or maybe the BBC might give it some air time on one of their new technology shows. Is “New Ideas” still running? [Note to self: check the possibilities of employing attractive Thai ladies for the videos, after all it is basically a Thai product]. Anyway, I leave it with you to mull over. My mind is already leaping onward and upward to overseas agency possibilities, franchises, whatever. With an eye to the future, how about a version that would work in space? Or perhaps we should simply float the idea to Jeye’s (if they still exist) in the certain knowledge that they’d buy the patent before the bottom dropped out of their tracing paper toilet paper market.

Or perhaps I should just get out more!

I was deeply impressed with the Rolf Harris version of Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven", as I'm sure all true music lovers were. I don't suppose anyone knows of him doing anything with "Dark Side"??? What a fine album that would be!

As much as I need to, and for a real treat, a couple of drops of Scotch in my ovaltine when the long night's done - usually around 9.30pm!

simon43, In your #16 you stated the bad luck toilets were facing towards the east, but later, back to the east. I'm concerned because, on re-modelling one of our bathrooms, wife insisted that it should face the east, (that is, the east would be to your front if sitting and using the toilet in the traditional manner). What is really worrisome is that in our other bathroom, the toilet orientation is the reverse, (whilst sitting, one would face the west). Worse, to reverse it would require knocking out the bathroom/kitchen wall. What should we do, other than have specific times allocated for cooking and toilet usage? Perhaps a nice arch where the wall's knocked out with a semi-circular rail with curtain........?

As for bed orientation, ours is heads to the north, feet to the south. Is this OK? But wait, dam_n, the other bedroom is the reverse! What to do?

As for the OP's concern, "she who knows all" recommends a knowledgeable monk who should be able to counter the curse. She also doubts if the original curse would be valid in Sweden unless the cursor had an official agent or representative office there.

I tried many years ago using ingredients from the UK. It was not a great success and I decided that the bottled stuff was better, especially since it is not that expensive. I had much more success with making wine from local fruit, the best being, without doubt, mango wine which was good enough to earn praise from a couple of visiting wine buffs. It is, of course, illegal unless you get the right paperwork and I'm quite sure all the satoh (rice wine) makers in the villages have applied for their licences! Wouldn't want to upset the excise boys and the BIB would they?

I believe that Dengue is thought to be incurable, though not untreatable, and apart from the usual medications to reduce symptoms there seems to be little that can help. However, I've read recently that papaya leaves have been shown to be effective in treating the disease. For what it's worth (and I have no proof of its effectiveness), you use 5 good size fresh, washed and clean papaya leaves chopped fine and boil those in an open pan with a couple of litres of water. Continue to boil until the liquid has decreased by half, transfer to glass bottles (not plastic) and chill in the 'fridge. Dosage is said to be 3 tablespoons, 3 times a day. The liquid comes out brown-ish in colour and is bitter to the taste. It might help someone. It is also believed to be helpful in the control of some forms of cancer, but I can't vouch for that.

Thanks for the interesting link, Ken. About what I expected, but at least I now learn that the "Lady" variety is worth trying as an annual. I'm not interested in commercial growing - would just like to have a few garden plants.

Has anyone tried to grow Lavender in Thailand? If so, what worked and what didn't? What's the preferred gowing medium? Semi-shade or full sun? In the UK lavender seemed to benefit by going dormant during winter. Any thoughts?

Can anyone recommend a good travel agent in either Nangrong or Buriram town? A buddy needs info/ticket prices/ flight schedules for Norway. Thanks guys.

We use a crystal (which I think could be alum). It's readily available in pharmacies and also the up-country stores that sell fertilisers and such like. You need to smooth off the crystal a bit (otherwise it might irritate the old 'pits). It works really well, no residual odour, just damp it under the tap and apply like a roll-on. The Thais often use it ground up to a powder, as a floculant to clear the water in their water jars. We use it for this purpose too - just have to be careful not to overdose your water tank/jar as this will result in a certain astringency. It comes at a silly price - something around 15baht for enough to keep the 'pits sweet for a year or more. My bride tells me the Thais call it "san som". OK?

kraxlhuber, this is a bit off the original topic, but thought you might be interested to know that about 12 years ago, I obtained balsa seeds from a buddy in Papua New Guinea, where they were experimenting with possible plantations. I germinated about 90% of the seeds I planted in pots, then planted them out. They grew well, up until our land flooded and they were all dead within days. They reached a height of about 6 metres and the largest had a trunk diameter of about 20cm. They're a jungle type tree and so like tropical conditions but do not tolerate flooding. I know a friend was involved in a possible balsa growing project in Laos several years ago (with the Laos government) but I don't know what became of it. When I was trying to grow my balsa, I was not aware that there was any being grown in Thailand. Perhaps that's changed.

We have four adult cats, a female and three males, all neutered, lovingly cared for, up to date with innoculations etc., and living in a cat paradise in rural Buriram. A young male turned up, decided our place looked like a good spot and camped out for a few days. We took him in and had him neutered and got him his various shots and he's settled in just fine. Two of the males accept him. The problem is with the female and one of her sons who do not accept him and attack whenever an opportunity occurs. These are not "play" attacks - they're pretty serious and the newcomer has copped some wounds, but nothing too serious so far.

Do any of you cat fans have any suggestions as to how to modify the behaviour of the aggressive cats, or how to make the newcomer more acceptable to them (other than a new de-odourant, say). It becomes a fine balancing act to try and keep them from doing serious harm.

One thing I've noticed - when attacked, the newcomer (if he cannot get to his safe spot), goes on his back and pees at the attacking cat. I'm not sure if this is a deliberate defensive move or if he's literally had the p-ss scared out of him.

What do you think?

Woof-woof!

Surely, PhilHarries, the question is not to do with the cost of living in this country, or any other of the "non-approved" countries. It is to do with the state pension which is paid to us pensioners if we have paid the same in NI contributions as anyone in "approved territories" or the UK itself. I do not recall (during my working days in the UK), seeing in any piece of official paperwork, a caveat stating that "we will mess with your pension entitlement if you don't live in a place we like when you retire".

Personally, I started work in S.E.Asia back in 1972 and have been here, (except for a couple of years in the mid-80's), ever since. Here come pension time and I made up as many of the NI contributions as I was allowed to do and finally managed to qualify for almost 70% of basic state pension, for which I was well pleased. In those 30-something years of overseas work, I was not draining the NHS with real or imagined illnesses, for which treatment, (says an old P45), part of my NI contributions were destined.

Do you truly believe that a government is right, (morally), to say that the amount of state pension you receive is dependant upon the territory where you choose to live? I would say that if I am entitled to a pension of (say) 100 pounds a week, it is of no concern to the chancellor how and where I choose to spend that entitlement. That is why my contention is that this anomaly is prejudice against the people who live in "unapproved" territories.

The fact is that expat pensioners in "unapproved" territories are a soft target for the Whitehall money mongers because we basically have no voice, no real representation. We are unlikely to find support within the UK because we are out of it - usually living in places which are far more conditionally benign than the UK.

Either which way you cut it, there is no excuse for this travesty.

This is another fine example of the boys in the European club financially protecting each other. Of course, what it comes down to is prejudice - we will penalise you because you have chosen to spend your retirement in a territory of which we do not approve, despite the fact that you paid the same NI contributions as the other guys in "approved" territories or the UK itself. My perception is that it all has to do with the tax which the chancellor is NOT receiving from those of us living in the "non approved" territories. Think about this, of every 100 pounds that you are paid in state pension in the UK, you are paying tax back (in VAT and various other taxes), a very large percentage of the original 100 quid. Petrol, smokes (if you're still a user), all drinks, road tax and on and on it goes. Can anyone come up with a figure of what the real purchasing power of the pound might be, exclusive of the various attached taxes? My bet is that the true purchasing power of the pound, in the UK, is very small indeed.

And if we care to go further, into the disgraceful withdrawal of the NHS from those of us who have been overseas for more than a few months, I have an old P45 which explains to me that part of my NI contribution is destined for the NHS and the benefits which such contribution entitles me to. Except in an emergency situation, this no longer helps me. Guys, you've been shafted by the professionals. Don't ever believe that your country of birth gives a shit about you or anyone associated with you.

Comments?

Can anybody recall, (preferably with references), what the best/worst pound sterling to thai baht exchange rate was at the high (or low) point of the financial crisis of 1997. Some say they recall 90 baht to the pound. Would appreciate some facts.

I agree with MickyM. Lord Jim's at the Oriental is great for a buffet lunch, especially if price is not an issue. Make reservations, go as close to opening time as you can, linger over the most excellent food, watch the river traffic, be the last to leave. You will enjoy this touch of luxury.

Anyone had any experiences, good, bad or indifferent, with the controversial Pa Cheng medicine? Some Thais in our village are enthusiastic. I know that there are medicines available which do not comply with FDA requirements, so do we rely too much on FDA approvals? Many "natural" remedies get by under the official radar, but the claims made for this one, to me seem a bit unrealistic.

hansnl, can't recall seeing Hankook tyres up here in the boonies. Are they imported or made here? Got any idea on price?

My Fortuner will be up for a tyre change soon. Have done almost 70,000km on the original Michelins and they've probably got another 10 to 15 thousand left on them. Relacement with Michelins is a bit spendy and I guess the options would be Bridgestone or Maxxis. Maxxis look as if they might be noisy. Anybody got any experience with the quality, longevity, noisiness or price on these options or should I just stick with Michelins?

Jaideeguy, you mentioned the possibility of "running your well dry" if you had to do a full water change. This nudged my memory - is your well a shallow well or a deep well?

We tried turtles years ago and all went OK until we ran the well dry. Then had a deep well drilled and got lovely sparkly clean water. Did some water change and the following day the water was black and stank. More changes - same result. Eventually found out from the BBC that deep well water is effectively dead and therefore with no life, the biological chain effect with or without a filter just did not work.

There is a bio-chem which helped but I cannot remember the name. Though this has nothing to do with koi, it is a possibility. We also found that water hyacinth helped to keep the pond water good. (As an aside, feed your chickens on the excess water hyacinth, they like it and you get really good eggs).

Early in our relationship, when she was unfortunately downwind of me when I passed a touch of somewhat pungent gas:- "Wah! How many dog die stomach you".

More recently, when I asked her the time:-

Me: What's the time darling?

Her: What, now?

I'll watch out for the Dervla Murphy book, it sounds like my sort of read. Thanks.

My particular favourite Jonathan Raban book is "Old Glory". According to James Cameron of The Spectator, (and I agree), it is "shrewd, keen, malicious, touching and funny" and is an account of his journey down the Mississippi in a purpose built skiff. He also wrote "Soft City" and "Arabia through the Looking Glass".

Funny, you seem to be a bit down on school-taught literature. Well, my old English teacher back in the mid-50's really turned me on to reading. His recommendations went beyond the school curriculum of the day. Later, I went to night school for GCE A level Eng. Lit., and that really opened my eyes and my mind. I would say, though, that my school was unable to instill any affection for Shakespeare. That came much later as a result of some really top-rate TV productions. They re-kindled the dormant interest and Shakespeare became much less intimidating. Fun, even.

I've also heard many criticisms of Paul Theroux - his perceived arrogance and snide-ness, but have realised that he merely reflects truth as he sees it from his position as a loner. I find some of his novels a bit strange, but generally they too reflect his separateness from the mainstream. In his travel stuff, it's really easy to overlook the good things that he has to say and focus instead on his perceived rudeness. I read his "Kingdom by the Sea" with great satisfaction because, although I'm a Brit, I've also been an expat for 37 years, and that does rather make you view your home land through different eyes. He takes his swipes and makes his observations without fear or favour and, I'm sure, in the full knowledge that he is going to upset a few people who take those comments personally. For me, a great favourite.

Since we've slipped away from the OP re novels, I agree entirely on Bill Bryson's work. He can also be fairly abusive, but with a much lighter touch. His description of Mrs Smegma, on his arrival in Britain, still have the power to get me laughing out loud.

Still on travel writers, can I also mention Johnathon Raban as another who has the power to really make it real for you.

Back to literary novels, I confess to having Leo Tolstoy's "War and Peace" on my shelf. Bought in 1989, I have reached page 25 of over 1,300. Is this a record?

I read between 130 - 140 books a year and cannot imagine not having a book somewhere near to pick up and relax with. Some of those are re-reads, since I have no decent bookshops nearby and have just about exhausted the collections at the various ex-pat up-country bars and restaurants.

I took a look along my bookshelves (I only keep what I want to re-read) and, excluding the fantasy stuff such as Tolkien, Donaldson, Kenneth Grahame and their ilk, some of the trusted favourites would be Charles Dickens, Kingsley Amis, John Le Carre, Graham Greene, Joseph Conrad, Jerome K Jerome, Erskin Childers, Sebastian Faulks, Louis de Bernieres, Mick Jackson, Christopher Koch, H.E.Bates, Arundhati Roy, T.R.Pearson, Garrison Keillor, John M del Vecchio, Harold Webb, Michael Ondaaatje, Charles Frazier, Erich Maria Remarque, Laurie Lee and Robert Mason.

I read whatever is available, since I reckon reading something really crappy makes you appreciate the better stuff all the more, but do have trouble with sci-fi, westerns and the romantic stuff.

As we're restricted to literary novels, I suppose I can't mention Paul Theroux, Eric Newby, Gavin Young, Alexander Frater and Colin Thubron in respect of the travel genre, nor yet those science writers who have managed to make their work readable to me, such as John Stewart Collis, Lyall Watson and Loren Eiseley.

It's far too diverse a subject to deal with quickly and easily and I realise already how many writers I have left out for various reasons, but it is the vastness of the subject which convinces me that, at least in my lifetime, we are unlikely to see the death of the literary novel just yet - I hope.