boarbaboon

In my humbling experience, I've found that Thai women actually expect their man to cheat of them....no matter how long or strong their relationship After all, this is the land of the mia noi--if you are rich enough to afford a GF in this country, then many Thai men willingly flaunt their wealth and status...the little lady at home doesn't like it one bit, but that's the culture they were born into and they silently suffer for it.

I was in BKK several years ago with my soon-to-be wife. She went shopping with her GF and I remained in the hotel room, ill with a terrible series of migraines that later turned out to be caused by partially collapsed cervical vertebra. When they returned, there was knocking at the door, as my fiance didn't take the only passkey issued to us. I was sleeping and took time to open the door and let them in. Just before doing so, I heard my fiance's GF remark in Thai..."he probably has a woman in the room with him, maybe we go somewhere else". When I opened the door, there stood the two ladies a bit dumbfounded and I hope a bit ashamed for automatically thinking the worst of me. Two weeks after I returned to the States, I underwent a spinal fusion operation and the headaches subsided. Over the years, I have often heard my wife tell me "go ahead...have a mia noi...it's up to you!"...usually followed by a comment that after that I will lose everything we own together in Thailand after she kicks me out. It is always said nowadays in jest, but there is always an underlying expectation that a husband will eventually cheat. Her invitation to me is nothing more than a test. Flunk it and you go back to rock bottom. What the Thai wife fears for and absolutely does not want is anybody to know about it and cause her to lose face. In our case, we have remained true to each other in 11 yers of marriage and several years of courtship prior to that. Before I met my wife, I was a galavanting playboy, living it up high on expense accounts and enjoying everything that the LOS had to offer. But I honestly haven't ever looked twice at another woman since I met my wife in 1994...she is quite a beauty of course...and it took me another 5 years or so to appreciate that her true beauty was inside and unseen. Are you on this same road of growth as a couple...or just marking time?

So where does this leave the OP? I believe that when a man commits to a woman to have a monogamous relationship...in or out of wedlock...that is precisely what you bargained for and you must live up to your end of the bargain. Sure, go out on boys nights and look at the cute menu laid out before you...look, appreciate, but don't taste! If you succumb to another woman's charms, you will have begun unraveling everything you have worked to create with your lady and the process once started is irreversable. Your will have violated that precious thing we call trust and nothing is more difficult to win it back. Men sometimes think they are capable of living some kind of dual lifestyle--shutting a door behind them in their main life and opening another one in their chosen fantasy land. You are only corrupting yourself and believe me, a woman has a sixth sense for BS and can smell a cheat a mile away. Endeth the epistle

Don't do it!

I think what you say is true. Thai women have an expectation that all men will cheat. particularly given their knowledge and experience with Thai men. However, I find the wome are just as likely to engage in the same behavior, if not more so. It is much easier for them to get away with it, if their partner is a foreigner and even easier if he is not living in Thailand with her 24/7.

I agree particily with both the above statements but is it really only Thai men which are the root cause of this paranoia? I mean think of the percentage of 'farang' men that come over here just for one thing 80% 90%? No wonder she doesn't trust him when all the the 'farang" men only come here to get drunk and to sleep with as many girls as they can. Its a two way thing as he probaly thinks the same about her as alot of thai girls have a bad reputation too.

Which leaves me to think that some of the comments before saying "If she doesnt trust you, she doesnt love you" are a bit hasty as i think she probaly loves him very much, and he should be more concered if she just said fine go to pattaya.

Really i think she just doesnt want the same thing happening to her, as what all her friends talk about and what is shown on thai tv soap opreas.

Over the last 6 years i have gone through so many changing opinions on the OP post

From hating it - to humoring it - to becoming a victim of it - to accepting it - to finally realise that:

It aint so black and white!

there are a lots of evil stereotypes and good reason too - BUT...

I guess its depending on who you are, whom you have attracted and where in the whole Thailand wonderland experience your at today.

Thailand is just a ride, so many predictable twists and turns -

but always the unexpected ass tickler to give you whiplash!

Thesedays i live by the following rules...

I call it the 'THAI ACID LOVE TEST'

If it was a bar girl making a finacial plea:

i would certainly decline in sending money - why?

Cos theres a 90% she is full of crap and has another 10 guys doing the exact same thing and is probably richer than me anyway

(anyone one dares to tell me otherwise - can just go stand in the corner while i call your parents - live here long enough and do the calculations - bar girls never lie)

id rather gamble on better odds than that....

If i knew the girl was genuine and i trusted her more than average

I would certainly consider sending her money - but not so that she would grow dependant and lazy on it, or worse - learning that repeating this act can be a good way to earn a living for all the other wet tissues flying in. I would just provide a one off payment to help her out and reduce the chances of her becoming a corrupted deviant.

(As i would hope someone would do for me in a similar situation)

If it was my wife...

haha - id be doomed not too - hence i wont be marrying a Thai to become the farang sponser to all her family back home and a slave to wants that become requests.

Does that sound jaded, miserly or cruel? or perhaps KI NIAW?

Well, unless you can honestly trust your wife 100% (im not quite there yet)

why complicate matters with money and expectations from the whole family? and risk further maniplulations down the line.

The way i see it is - If she leaves you as a result - well thats a great THAI ACID LOVE TEST' in my opinion.

You have probably done yourself a great favor in finding out earlier - what your dellusions and inflated ego could never dechipher here in wonderland.

Rules of exception

If i had actually visited her family whom were old, retired, struggling, clearly in the proverbial.

If i felt i could do some good without it being DEMANDED or culturally EXPECTED or whatever...

Then i would request their bank details and send cash directly to them - yes i would consider a monthly salary too if i could afford it and if it was certain it wasnt going to the monthly lottery syndicate.

Nowdays however, to avoid becoming a miserly jaded farang

I find it much more fullfilling to give a few thousand baht to the poor Cambodians on the border with no arms or legs, or the same poor suffering victims you see walking around the street half dead or selling crap at the traffic lights and sucking in black soot all day.

These poor souls are genuinely on borrowed time - if i could help one of those i would truly feel it was worth it and an investment well spent...

Ask yourself how many THais do you see giving poor folks money?

ive never seen one - dont tell me they dont have money, they dish it out to the temple repairs every month to buy good karma and fortune back for themselves,

(nothing is done without expectation) just as they expect kind foreigners to provide for them too. But just how many Thais will help strangers?

There are millions of GENUINE cases for you to give charity for...

Millions who really do need just a few hundred baht a day to live modestly and with dignity

So when your next playmate or wifey starts her predictable demands - just think about the 'Thai Acid Love Test'

so go ahead - have some fun!

I agree as it isn't so clear cut for all cases

and as said before everybody is different and everybody has different circumstances along with different views and cultures.

For me I wouldn't know much about the Thai culture or family structure as my girlfriend is Khmer, not Thai, but we both stay in Thailand and i still give her money. If you had asked me this question about giving money to girlfriends a few years ago i would have said it is sickening and it's crazy. Now after seeing the bigger picture and understanding, i am happy to give my girlfriend what she needs to live. As if you could see the poverty she an her family comes from, and when i can earn more in one day what she can earn in one month I'd rather she not work and rather she go to school and study for a better future.

Yes it is sickening in certain cases where a man is just being used for money, and is to blind with love to see the truth or where the man is older enough to be the girls grandfather. But this doesn't only happen in Thailand it happens in every country in the world. You will only ever hear of the horror story's not of the success story's.

Lets say you bought 5 baht weight of Thai gold in Jewlery form. You decide later you want to sell, but you can either sell it back to the Thai shop you bought it from and get baht, or you are thinking to sell it in the USA and get dollars.

Are there any advantages or disadvantages to selling it in the USA?

Will you have problems with customs/ airport security bringing 5 baht of gold jewlery into the states?

Will any gold/jelwery shops in the states buy your 96.5% gold thai jewlery and will they give you a good price?

How will that price in the US compare to the price in Thailand?

Any other advantages or disadvantages or difficulties? Any other likely spots a novice could get screwed out of his money?

I've read a lot of gold in the states is something like 14kt, whereas Thai gold jewlery is closer to 23 kt. Will this present any problems?

At 15.16g/baht of processed Thai gold that puts you at 75.8 grams or almost 2.674 ounces.

At kitco.com the closing price of gold on January 30th for "NY Spot Gold" was $927.10 USD (per troy ounce right?). I assume this is the price basis for gold bought and sold in the USA? This would place the value of the gold at $2479 USD. How does this differ from the price you could actually get?

Yesterday the selling price at a Thai gold shop was 14,850 per baht of gold. This would give you 74,250 baht. Converting to USD, at 35 BHT per dollar, gives $2121 USD.

2479-2121= 358

Do these calculations sound right? Am I missing anything ? Would one really stand to gain an extra few hundred dollars by selling in the states?

To be honest is there really any point going to all that hassle of flying, buying and then trying to find a seller in the US when if you moniter the thai gold market you can make money just by the gold sitting in

your drawer!

Two months ago i bought a 10baht weight in gold for 125,000 and a few days ago cashed it in for 145,000 making 20,000baht for doing nothing.

You will need to show the relevant paperwork for get a multi-entry,

like marriage cert, for an "O"

or a work permit for a "B"

They are not handed out just because you ask for one.

Ok, how do you think i can get back into thailand?

Is there another visa i can get to get back into thailand?

will it be a problem arriving at the airport for my 4th entry in 90 days?

I only stay in bangkok for 4 days after arriving again then i have to go back to work.

Thanks for your help

Sorry, I mean a 1 year multiple entry visa

Hi everyone

I travel back to Thailand on the 27th September which will be my 3rd entry in 90 days.

During my visit will be exiting the country and traveling to Cambodia and and will try and get a multiple entry visa at the Thai embassy in Phnom Penh. Is this a good idea? Will it work? Does anyone know how hard it is to get a visa in Cambodia? If i try and get back into Thailand will i be allowed back in? as i need to catch my return flight from Bangkok.

Anyones help would be much appreciated

Thanks

Ryan