Aviador

Thanks, but since I live in Khao lak would it be the Phang Nga immigration office ? Or is there one in Takuapa?

What now brown cow?

I am sure most readers here are familiar with my tale of woe; my erstwhile friend and Thai Partner absconding with more than 2 million Baht as well as the contents of my Thai saving account. I should have received my Non-O retirement visa a long time ago but between the tsunami and his screwing around, his disappearance, left me with ZERO money, except for my monthly Social Security check. There I was relegated to the drudge of the 30 day visa run to Ranong. Then along came the coup d'état. My VOA expired on the 24th of September. With the border crossing to Kawthoung closed I was left with no other option other than to leave the country. I booked a flight to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia and left on Sunday morning the 24th. (Later I discovered that the border did open that very day, but that’s 20/20 hindsight anyway) The grim looking, grumpy immigration official at the Phuket airport with furled brow scrutinized my passport for what seemed like an eternity, took my picture and sent me on my way.

Arriving in Kuala Lumpur I discovered that my Thai ATM card as well as the cell phone did not work. Luckily I had withdrawn another 10,000 Baht at the airport in Phuket, “just in case” (decha vu?)

To make a long story longer, even though I had been through this in Kuala Lumpur once before 2 years ago; Pictures, (I had forgotten about those) 2 nights in a 3rd rate hotel, taxi fare, air fare, departure tax, the visa (1000 baht) etc, etc, it cost me 17,000 Baht for a “single entry (that’s all they would give) 3 months visa supposedly good until the 24th of December 2006 just to get some breathing room

However…here is where I think I got screwed. Arriving back in Phuket on the 26th of September it was stamped “USED” with a note: “good until the 24th of November. They counted the 4 days left in September as a whole month????

May pen rai, but where do I go and what do I have to do to get an extension and for how long? I don’t wish to have to travel to Malaysia every two weeks at the tune of 17,000 baht!

//Mod edit - threats of violence removed from post.

.

Well spoken bendix.

The "perpetual tourists" who have run roughshod over the immigration system for years really believe it's their God-given right to do anything they want in the name of MONEY. money Money MONEY

Who can blame the Thais for resenting their conspicuous consumption of the country's resources?

Just look at the zoos they have built for themselves in Pattaya, Phuket, Samui, etc. Huge over-developement and land speculation.

Now the average Thai can't afford to buy land in his own country in these areas because the rich foreigners will pay any price.

FI to all of them! Go suck some other country dry!

'nuff said

~

What a crock of shit.

Do you thing the "perpetual tourists" are the one's buying multimillion baht beech front property? Supply and demand, something the Thai property owner learned very quick.

"Conspicuous consumption of the country's resources?"

Thais are some of the sloppiest people I have ever encountered. Garbage everywhere, just dump it when nobody sees you doing it.

You sound like some disgruntled east German who still dreams of the good old days in the DDR when nobody had to work but still got paid, or Cuban reactionary.

//removed foreign language text//

This goes directly at madi.

I am old, from BC, Canada and I have lived here in Thailand for over 20 years. In Chiang Mai for 15 yrs, now in Phuket. I have dumped some 50 million Baht into this country, via GF's, land holdings, business workings, Hill Tribe assistance, NGO assistance, etc, etc, etc. Thai immigration laws are insane, they always have been. It's a pain to deal with, on any level.

OK:

<deleted> are you talking about madi? The law is broken at every level, and in every sector, of this country; every second, of every minute of every hour of every day. Law breaking and corruption from the top down. From Taksin and the Chiang Mai construction contracts, to the 34,000 bar/massage girls going short time... from the level 17 Law proffesor signing to release an arrestee that's going to jump bail (wink wink,) to the late night BKK pimp tuk tuk driver. This country is all about breaking the law. Period.

You want to set an example madi? Do it in a place that understands the law. Thailand makes the words 'flim flam' a certainty, not just wishful thinking.

This visa thing is just another shuck and jive smoke screen, and the farangs will have to bear the BS. Blame the farangs, that's Taksin's motto.

Please read 'Sri Thononchai' madi; until you do, you ain't gotta clue, not one.

'Old and in the way' in Phuket

Yesterday a young Burmese Friend sent his girlfriend on the Bus to Ranong to take the long boat over to Khawtoung to visit her sick mother.

I asked him, how she would get get past the checkpoint just before entering Ranong?

Oh she just hands the officer 1,500 Baht and they look the other way.

This girl cleaned my house ever day 7 days a weak for 3000 Baht a month

This is how the US ist treating illegals and what the US is doing about its 11 million illegals that are working there and this is the feeling of the many of the US citizens.

Perhaps this senator should come to Thailand?

To The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes

309 Hart Senate Office Building

Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal

Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have

contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to

determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they

referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen

to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the

Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of

this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been

in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a

citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the

last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious

to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay

taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two

years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way

that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an

excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in

2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local

emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have

stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures

I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining

illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential

treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as

"in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United

States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the

burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome

car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I

still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become

illegal ( retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary

forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin

Gallow humor I now

so true madi. your words speak the truth...

A Thai woman (Passaporn Chittaporn) I have known for years, sent me an e-mail recently. She is a PHD and did her doctoral research at the New York University School of Medicine. She mentioned, oh those Thais they always try to take advantage of farang because they think they are all rich.

She also told me that Thais order their feelings this way: First comes

the king, then parents, then close family, then aunts, uncles,

nephews, then classmates, then friends, then friends of friends, then

the dog, then the fleas on the dog, then………… farang..

Mai pen rai

I vacationed in southern Thailand in 2003. What started out as a two week stay turned into almost 6 weeks. I loved the climate, the people as well as the low cost of living. After selling my home in the US I arrived here in Khaolak on March 20th 2004. I was 69 years of age at the time intended to spend the rest of my days here by applying for a Non O retirement visa. I transferred 3 Million Baht from one US into a Thai account.

Renting a small house, I met a young fellow here in town, married, one baby who operated a transportation company, spoke reasonable English but needed some money to expand his fleet while building a restaurant at the same time on his in-laws property. I lent him close to a million Baht. He thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Suwan seemed to have connections and promised to get my non O retirement visa in short order. We traveled to Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur and supposedly had everything going.

Meanwhile I was involved in a car accident in Phuket and this is where he was indispensable dealing with the police, the insurer and the hospital. The insurance company balked at paying, since the victim was sent to a hospital which wanted to amputate the poor man’s leg above the knee. I however insisted on a transfer to the International Hospital where they did save the fellow’s limb. I paid all the hospital charges which came to just under 600,000 Baht, as well as the 200,000 Baht settlement for the family. I still had money in a US account which was now transferred into my account here. That left me with just under a million.

Then along came the tsunami. Suwan was visibly upset, having lost 4 out of 6 Minibuses as well 1 driver and 2 tourists that fateful day. I told him not to worry about the money, we will manage. The insurance company did send a check for 180,000 Baht which promptly bounced. Since I still had money in the bank I managed fine just on whatever social security sends me every month. One day Suwan received a letter stating additional customers had started a class action suit against the parent company of the insurer and a hearing would be held at the court in Phuket. I attended 2 sessions with Suwan but since I had fallen on my butt 2 weeks prior, injuring my spine, sitting was most uncomfortable. Besides I could not understand the proceedings anyway which were all in Thai, I therefore let him go by himself from then on. One day he called and said he had a check in the amount of 148,000 Baht in his Hands. Well, better than nothing I thought. He had my bank book and asked me to send him a signed power of attorney form, which his mother would bring up in order to withdraw money to pay the lawyer. Done deal.

That was the last anyone, including his family heard from him for 2 weeks. Somehow

I had a feeling something was amiss A trip to the bank confirmed my worst fears. He had cleaned me out. He didn’t even leave me enough for a bottle of cheap Mekong whiskey. His family knows where he is (in Phuket) but won't tell me. Funny how quick the smiles disappeared, after my money was gone.

What can I do concerning the new visa regulations? I always hated those visa runs to Ranong anyway. I live frugally and have enough in the Bank again to afford a trip to Malaysia, or other country, except the US. Too far anyway. I wouldn’t mind doing it once a year or semi-annually. I had purchased a new Mitsubishi pickup paying cash for it. Suwan however, without my knowledge had registered the truck in HIS name and refuses to send me the papers. (Knowing him, he probably borrowed money on it) I have only the receipt. He also still has my pass book. I can’t even prove I did have 2 million in the account at one time.

I can not, nor would I want stay away for 3 months. I have a house with a 4year pre-paid lease, a dog, the truck and care for a couple of kids. I spend all my money here in town.

But what are the alternatives?

[Hi Aviador - I think what might have happened is that you paid twice one month, or somehow got out of sync with your bills. Hence you get the bill that says you owe nothing. Now you appear to have gotten back in sync.}

No way Josè:

I would never, ever pay these people twice. In fact they should pay ME for all the aggravation I have to go through every month. The Thai-Post office probably lost the mail. They caused me to be declared dead by the US government when I neglected to answer a questionaire mailed to me but never delivered back in November of 2005. All my social security payments were stopped as of Jan 1, 2006. It took 4 months of dealing with incompetent, useless, inept civil service morons, impersonal, hopelessly outright stupid bureaucrats to be resolved.

But that's another story:

This is another of TOT's encounters, but on a happier note (this time)

Last Friday afternoon at 4:45 PM, ADSL courtesy TOT became comatose once again. Tech service line was busy until 5 PM and of course no answer after that. “Sure it’s the weekend folks. Who needs the internet? It’s only good for kids playing games”, seems to be TOT’s consensus. “May pen rai, no big deal. This is Thailand. Relax, have fun. We will catch up with the rest of the world some other time. We fought against privatization and won !!!!! Job security is still number one !!!!!”

Monday morning still no service but TOT’s tech service did answer and told me that everything was ok. Since I am completely computer illiterate, but able to read I attempted to sort out over the week end, whether it was my PC or TOT since I had just had the unit repaired, the motherboard replaced, updated to more RAM, new WIN-XP etc, which was damaged by a spike in the electric line, by a very competent and reliable young Russian fellow from Phuket who’s ad I saw in the Phuket Gazette.

http://www.phuket-data-wizards.com/en/index.php

Might as well give him a plug. He came to my home, took the unit to his shop and delivered it 2 weeks later as promised. Reasonably priced as well.

TOT’s tech service promised to send someone to my home “preung nee”. Well, where did I hear that before a few hundred times? 2 hours later, I was just getting into the shower a TOT truck pulled up in front of my home. I thought I’d faint dead away. Could this be, or did I die and went to heaven? Instant service in the land of LOS, numerous “may me” and “preung nee” promises? Yes, it was true: Alahu Akbar :>) Praise the lord and pass the ammunition :>) The young fellow was very professional; yes there was no service Friday night. He also discovered that by my screwing around in desperation I had re-set the modem (a no-no!!!) Re-setting the modem caused the inability to get back on-line. And all of this at: NO CHARGE !!!

Well, while I was typing this, (Thursday afternoon 4:10 pm :>) ADSL died again for 15 minutes. I suppose one can’t ask for too many miracles all the time. May pen rai :>)))))another story.

Savasdee crap, the ol' Captain.

This is new.

A week ago, June 8th to be exact I received, this time only one TOT bill, the one that informs me I owe nothing.

True to Thai efficiency, the statement was mailed on the 12th of May and the amount displayed (nothing) due on the 27th (of May).

I am not about to drive 70 km (round trip) to ask these morons what and if anything is due. With their constant ADSL outings and 2,5 kb/s speed, they should actually pay me for putting up with such nonsense.

may pen ray.

How would you say it in Thai: "Get real people, this is the 21st century".

Apologies are in order.

My quote:

He did not forget to bring the map.

I found out yesterday from a “friend” who was sworn to secrecy that he simply did not know what to do with it. The young man is in his early twenties comes from a well-off family, attended a good school, knows how to read and write, but didn’t have a clue what a map was or how to use it.

What are they teaching kids in school here?

Greets the ol’ Capt, scratching his head.

Every month I receive my bill from TOT exactly one or 2 days after the “payment due date” which means I can not pay it through the bank and necessitates a 70 km round trip to the ghoul of TOT-hood in Takuapa which is really not that big a deal because there are times I need to shop for things there, not available in the “sticks”.

Just before or on occasion simultaneously after receipt of their statement I take delivery of another invoice. Same envelope containing matching contents including identical propaganda literature. One informs me that I am indebted to TOT for X amount of Baht for their services the other holds the happy news that I owe NOTHING. This has been going on for a long time. Has anyone out there in LOS-land had the same experience? When I pay the bill and present the "no charge" one, the lady just shrugs and tosses it into the trash.

My question is: According to Mr. Google there are 7,552,000 subscribers on TOT’s roster. I have no idea how much TOT pays the Postal Service. For bulk-mailings lets assume just 1 baht per, which means they squander 7,552,000 Baht every month.

Well, but it’s only the government’s (the taxpayers’) money. Small wonder they were against privatization.

Greets, the ol Capt. Still bitchin

Hi. So where is the gentleness of the Thai people?? You shoulds hae bought them dinner like someone suggested

Well, I it is supposed to be the rainy season, but hasn't rained in more than a week. Nothing to do, so I felt like writing down some of my happenings.

Your quote:

[Especially those of us who have professions where we were responsible for lives and expensive complicated equipment. We learned to take the bull by the horns or die.

(That's one reason we see so many westerners flying airplanes for Asian airlines.)]

That’s it in a nutshell.

The air, as well as the sea is very unforgiving towards any incompetence or bravado. Consider the story of UAL’s flight 232 which suffered complete hydraulic failure and loss of “all” flight controls due to a turbine wheel failure of the center engine. Capt Haynes had the gift to “talk” to an airplane and managed to coax the ship to Iowa City, a feat which could not be duplicated in any simulator. This “gift” can not be learned in any school. It doesn’t matter whether one has 5 or 500 passengers on board. When the shit hits the fan the “nut that holds the wheel” is what counts.

A captain has to assert his command authority. Someone once told me: You can't really be a captain unless you have scared the shit out of youself

This is one reason I had a running battle with the FAA. The majority of the inspectors were disgruntled pilots who never made it to the majors, or even earned a living in aviation prior to joining the Government Service. Some were college dudes who didn’t know an elevator from a stall strip. Get an education, earn a law degree, pass your bar exam, hang out your shingle and you are in business. How successful you will be, depends on your ability, but nobody is going to question your capabilities again. Same goes for a doctor. But pilots have to undergo the threaded “check ride” every 6 months. Someone will breathing down their necks to make sure they are still able to fly the ###### thing. Airlines have their own check airmen but the charter pilots have to fly with some Yoyo FAA inspector in the cockpit, who will nit pick and point out an occasional slip-up, blooper or oversight just to make himself feel important. Once I was scheduled for a PIC ride in a King Air (10 pax turbo prop) and my FO was due his annual competency check. Everybody in the company was familiar with my disdain for those paper shufflers and the guy giving the ride was known to be very tough, failing about 60 % of his “victims”. I had never flown with this individual before, so after the 2 hour oral and 1 hour paperwork verification was completed it was time to make like a bird. The inspector sat behind us in the doorway of the cockpit during taxi. I went through my usual, “Now you tell me what you want done, how and when and don’t throw me any curves routine. I heard you are a prick”. My co-pilot turned white as a sheet. “Me”? The man said. “Who told you that? “Well rumor has it” is all I said. Anyway, the check ride was accomplished without a hitch. I must say he was fair, perhaps because of my assertiveness, but the young fellows were scared to death of those bureaucrats. He also asked me, if he could fly the airplane back. Clearly the landing at the home airport was, shall we say an”arrival”. He thanked me and whispered “I haven’t really landed an airplane in almost 2 years.” (Being an FAA inspector he should have notified maintenance to check the condition of the landing gear.)

Once sitting in the cockpit at EWR (Newark NJ International) on the way to Miami going through some departure procedures, because I hadn’t been there in a while. Between noise abatements, Newark being jammed in between the airports JFK, LGA, TEB and MMU it makes one feel like drunken sailor after take off. Climb to this, turn left to that heading, climb to this, turn right ad nauseatum when out of the corner of my eye I spotted some guy sitting in the jump seat. “Who the f… are you” I said. “Ahm gonna flaah with youuu today” was his reply. I said “Get off my airplane before I throw you off personally”. “But aaam wid da FAA”. “I don’t give a rat’s ass who you are and with whom. I am the captain of this boat and no one, I mean NOBODY gets into my cockpit without my permission.” “But….” As I started to get off my seat he ran out the door. Operations called the chief pilot in Miami and after many phone calls I declared that I am now too upset to fly this trip. After talking to the chief honcho I returned to the airplane when there was a knock at the cockpit door: “Yes?” “Hi captain, may I come in?” “Sure, no problem, make your self comfortable and remember, sterile cockpit (no unnecessary conversation) until 10,000 feet”. In other words “sit down and shut up”.

I felt very bad for Phuket Airlines being banned when, because of some chicken shit isle light miss-function or fuel leak, something that happens in the best of families. Those were not new airplanes and things are bound to break at the wrong time. I don’t think I ever got into an airplane where EVERYTHING worked.

A friend of mine used to fly a B747 night freighter out of JFK. Maintenance was in the habit of stealing parts from his airplane to get scheduled daytime departures going. There was a sea of yellow tags in the cockpit. (Yellow tag items are things that have been deferred and are only to be used until the next maintenance stop and are not really airworthy.) It would take him hours just to make sure he was “somewhat” legal to fly his trip. He would fly to Los Angeles, dump his load and re-position to San Francisco where the maintenance base was, during which all those items miraculously became defective. What used to bug him though was the placement of the head. (toilet, potty, loo.) Normally the area behind the cockpit on the 747 is the upper lounge. The rear was partitioned off with a sheet of plywood and the toilet was placed right in the middle which means you had the pleasure or displeasure to observe the goings on in the cockpi while doing your thing. (And so could the rest of the crew) As a whole, air travel is still the safest means of transportation.

Perhaps I should write a book.

About the utter idiocy of some British controllers, the “I don’t care really attitude of the French, the barking voices of the Germans who sounded like drill sergeants, women in the tower cab during PMS , supposedly English speaking controllers in Caribbean. I received a clearance once from a guy at La Romana in the Dominican Republic to West Palm Beach Florida when my FO said “Boy captain, good thing you speak Spanish” and when I told him that this was supposed to be English he wouldn’t believe me. Taking off on a taxi way after being awakened by a phone call from the airport in the middle of the night and told to go, go and get out, at an airfield in Africa, with machine machinegun strafers zipping by. (This was by the way a ferry flight in a light aircraft, Piper Seneca)

Well, time for a beer Chang.

Greetings the ol' Captain.

I absolutely refuse to drive in Phuket. I was only here a couple of months and after driving back from the airport, I had flown to Malaisia, made a wrong turn and drove aimlessly for about 10 km to the east. Realizing my mistake I attempted a u-turn at a bend in the road. Old habits die slow and after driving on the right side of the road for more that 50 years, I wound up on the right (incorrect) lane when suddenly a fellow on a motorbike with a side car appeared in front of me. He flew up onto the hood and roof and landed in front of my truck. I nearly got sick when I saw the poor guy with the bone of his right leg at the knee sticking out and blood gushing from his head.

Anyway I called my then Thai friend, who was at the time indispensable dealing with the police, insurance and everything. We drove to the hospital where they took the poor fellow and was informed that they were about to amputate his leg. I inquired what the options were. Well you could send him to the international hospital in Phuket, but your insurance will not cover it. Look, I said, it was my stupid fault and whatever it takes I will pay for it.

Anyway, they took him there, operated immediately, he was in the ICU for a week, but they managed to save his leg. (The bill came to more than 400,000 baht all together.) I will never forget when we went to see him, meeting his family downstairs, his wife, son in law and a little boy. A young lady came up to me and said “Hi I am the daughter”, grinning from ear to ear. I expected grieving next of kin but no. “Wow, a falang, and from the looks one with MONEY.”

Of course then came the “settlement”. The family was asking 2 million baht and believe me, If I had had it I would have gladly paid it because it was my own stupidity. The chap was 34, the same age as my youngest son. My Thai friend told me: “you should have killed him, it would only have cost you 100.000 Baht”. (NICE).

Anyway the settlement was arranged at the police station in Phuket. I received an e-mail stating, “just bring 200,000 cash.” What was in my favor was the fact that the fellow had no driver’s license, no insurance and an illegal side car. I still feel bad about this entire affair to this day.

In January my Social Security payments stopped. It seems that SS had sent me a questionnaire verifying my present whereabouts which never reached me. Consequently they declared me dead. I now had to prove that I was still alive and that I was who I claim I am The US embassy thankfully sends a representative to Phuket every 3 months or so, eliminating a trip to Bangkok.

I did not want to drive myself because # 1, I am still gun shy, due to the accident I had there, # 2, I really don’t enjoy driving anymore. I offered to pay one of Mehn’s (a Burmese kid) friends, a young Thai who drives a local taxi, was supposedly familiar with the city but spoke no English to drive me there with my truck. Additionally, in case of an accident, foreigners are automatically guilty and it would be wise to have Thai behind the wheel. I red a story where some Farang in his car or truck was waiting for a traffic light to change, when he was hit by a motorcycle trying to beat the light, killing its driver. 5 “eye witnesses” swore they saw the truck hit the bike. It cost the man 100,000 Baht and the use of his car for more then a month, which had been impounded.

I had downloaded a map of Phuket, printed a copy, marked the place where the meeting was to take place and gave it to the guy the night before. It was the “Phuket Hilton Arcadia”, a huge Resort at the South end of the island. My guess was that the trip would take at least 2 hours knowing how these people drive. The embassy staff was to be available from 8 AM to 12 noon, therefore I told this fellow to meet me in front of his house as 6 AM sharp, in order to be one of the first ones to be taken care of. I arrived at the guy’s home at 6 AM sharp, but found no one waiting. At 6:05 I blew the horn, which resulted in mother appearing 1 minute later, motioning to me, that he was getting dressed. 5 more minutes passed, now I was now told he was taking a shower. Anyway we left at 6:15, thundering along at 110 to 120 km/hr along this mostly 2 lane road, blazing through towns which were already crowed with motor bikes.

I remember reading the map, noting that Arcadia was south of Patong and was surprised that he stopped there several times to ask for directions. (He had forgotten to bring the map and gotten lost.) We finally did arrive at 8:15, exactly 2 hours after we departed Khao Lak. There were already about 20 people ahead of me, but things moved along smartly. Additional pages in the passport, having my citizenship verified, outfitted with the official seal took less than 20 minutes. I now asked the man if he could fax this to the embassy in Manila which houses the Social Security office for Asia, as soon as possible and could hardly believe my ears when he said: “Official documents can not be faxed, they have to me MAILED” !!!!!!!!!!! Mailed ??? It will get lost sure as shoot’n and take weeks. Just send it via DHL he said, there is an office here in Phuket. Of course no one knew where, but a nice young lady at the hotel desk suggested the airport. Sure, make sense, why not.

I motioned to my non English speaking genius that I needed to get to the airport, however not to the airline terminal, rather the cargo section. I even wrote, in big letters DHL on a sheet of paper to facilitate the search, by asking the personnel at the entrance, which he declined by saying: “ROO JAK” Right then it started to rain heavily and where did he take me ? Straight to the Passenger Terminal OK sunshine, let’s try this: Drive to the exit, (after paying for parking which we didn’t) and shout “CARGO” ???? to the attendant. Hey that worked, because the lady pointed south. Finding the place wasn’t difficult, but we were denied access due to security regulations. He did manage to talk the fellow at the booth into issuing us 2 badges. Entering the huge building, I asked another guard the location of the DHL office. “May mee” (no have) “ is in City“. Where in city ? May roo. (don’t know). I was close to screaming when a young lady approached and pointed “upstairs”. Hallelujah !!! The second intelligent Thai person I met so far today. Upstairs was indeed an agent of DHL. Filled out the paperwork, she copied my passport, I paid 1000 Baht, now here the 64,000 Dollar question: HOW LONG ? “3 working days” Well, it was Thursday afternoon, we have Friday, then the weekend, therefore the soonest this thing could arrive in Manila would be Tuesday.

Arriving back in Khao Lak where it rained like crazy, the guy jumped out, I switched seats, started up the hill to my house when the engine quit.

The truck was out of fuel. Couldn’t he have motioned to me that it would be a good idea to stop at a gas station on the way home ? Why me, oh Lord, why me ?

When they gave out brains, Thais must have been way back in line.

Well, it took almost 4 months to get this straightened out. Here I was in a foreign country and no money. I had to borrow money from a sister in Canada to tide me over. I wrote an e-mail to the US Embassy in Bangkok 555555, what a joke. They never even bothered to reply.

Greets the ol' captain.

The way to live here in my limited experience is to practice acceptance. Criticizing the way Thai people things doesn't get much mileage. You might even get them to agree with you. But chances are the will do so to avoid confrontation.

People here generally avoid confrontation. While we westerners tend to view the world from a confrontational standpoint.

Especially those of us who have professions where we were responsible for lives and expensive complicated equipment. We learned to take the bull by the horns or die.

(That's one reason we see so many westerners flying airplanes for asian airlines.)

Not so here. Things are more subtle and under the surface.

While many of the Thai people around the farang "industry" just look for ways to take advantage. There are many who aren't.

This is a place where you try not to get excited, you don't honk your horn (unless it's for Budha) and generally let things take their course.

Anyway I think life here is a process of acceptance and balance which I don't really expect to perfect it. Any that was my 4 bahts worth

I also read recently where someone extolled the "gentleness" of the Tai people. At the end he stated: "But whatever happens to it when they get behind the wheel of a car ?"

May pen rai.

Well, we may have started out on the wrong foot, but it is great to find someone who shares an interest other than booze, broads and whatever.

But, to keep with the program. As the man in the Bangkok Post today put it:

I came to Thailand investing close to 35 million baht in this country. It is therefore with great sadness that I feel I am not wanted in this country. I feel the Thai authorities would just be delighted were I to pack my bags and go back to the UK, so long as I left my money here. It is a fine country; it has much to offer, but also much to learn. Whilst many Thais believe they are superior to every race on the planet, the reality is quite different. I did not agree to have a frontal lobotomy. I believe I have the right to criticise that with which I do not agree, and I am motivated by a desire to see my new homeland develop whilst at the same time retain all of the characteristics that serve the country well.

Homer Pidgeon.

The man is married to a Thai lady and has 2 sons who are being educated here. So my 4 million Baht are chickenfeed and I am sure he bought more than his share of Dinners. The illegal Mexicans in the US demonstrated and want the same rights an priveleges as legal one's. How would that fly in Thailand ?

Back to airplanes though:

I bought my first airplane in 1959, a PT 26 plywood primary trainer. Inverted 200 HP Ranger engine. Lots of fun, for $1000.oo. 1960 we(I had a partner) purchased this P51 D. V 12, 1800 HP Packard Merlin engine, surplus in Canastoda NY. I was only making $ 70.oo a week working in electronics at the time and still single (My partner owned a cinderblock manufacturing business) It took us an entire summer to get this thing flying because it was stock military with all the armor plating, (notice the plugged gun ports) but when it was done…………!!!! .Boyoboy. I was deaf every time I came back from a flight, because the air force pilots wore leather helmets with head phones. With it I did loose my license, but like I said, that’s another story.

I had to dig out and scan it, hoping it wasn’t destroyed by the humidity and mold around here. After all this pix is 46 years old.

http://serv3.imagehigh.com/imgs/03//27036_..._08_PM_0007.jpg

Funny thing about the PT26. It had some dry rot at the spar, because it was wooden and not supposed to outlast the war. I sold it to a friend for $ 75.oo in 1962 whose father owned a duck farm. He put it in a barn, restored it, flew it to Oshkosh many times and sold it 20 years later for $ 85,000.oo. (Better than investing in the stock market)

Greetings birdman, the old captain, happily retired.

Before someone starts bitching again that this is turning into an aviation chat, let me just say: There have been many times when I said: OK, thank you lord, I'll take over from here. : whistling:

Airline flying, except for the monetary benefits is much like driving a bus. Get them on, close the doors. Oh, there are indefinite departure delays? Well, we will be out of duty time then. Call dispatch and tell them to get a relief crew, we are going to a hotel.

Once I was cited by the FAA for landing at LGA when the weather was below published minimums (indef. ceiling X vis 1 1/6th) I had a transplant team with a human heart on board and was proud be to be able to get this organ to the person who was waiting for it in NYC. The FAA didn't give rat's ass made a big deal out of it and tried to fine me. Well it was settled, but it was put on my "record". So what

I had a file (didn't take it with me) 4 inches thick, battling with those bureaucrats for 40 years, even lost my license once for 6 months over something stupid. I never bent an airplane but was known at the charter office as "Captain fearless". My boss, although happy I made him money used to whine:”Here we go again, why did you do that you know it was illegal"? "So, I accomplished the mission, didn’t I? ”

After Sept 11th it was fun no more: annoyed: especially in the NYC area. Once I had to be "escorted" back to my airplane by the line crew because I had left the ID badge on my uniform jacket hanging in the cockpit. This happened at an airport where I was known for 20 years: bah:

Well, honestly I don't miss it. I had a great carrier, saw places that the average person only dreams of. Let them fly their computerized steed, FMS, GPS and side stick airplanes.

By the way, I bought a P51 Mustang surplus in 1959 for $ 6,500.oo. Now that was flying. But that’s another story again. (and also the story of my loss of license)

Greetings, the ol’ Captain.

OK, so you are living in Thailand. Sorry my mistake.

The old Piper, build like a truck Navajo. I never heard of one coming apart in severe turbulance, was known to us North Easteners as "Nava-Joe".

I quit while the going was good at 68 and still squeek through a 2nd class medical. (I am 71). But your story about your friend remined me of something. I don't know if you ever saw it.

THE LIFE AND LOVES OF AN AIRLINE PILOT

22 years old. Graduate from college. Go to military flight school. Become hotshot fighter pilot. Get married.

Have 1st kid.

25 years old. Now hotshot fighter jock getting shot at in war. Just want to get back to USA in one piece. Get back to USA as primary flight school instructor pilot. Get bored.

Volunteer for war again.

29 years old. Get back from war all tuckered out. Want out of military.

30 years old. Join airline company. World is your Oyster.

31 years old. Buy flashy Car, house and lots of toys. Get over that military poverty feeling.

32 years old. Divorce boring first wife. Pay Child support and maintenance whilst looking for second wife. Drink lots of booze and screw around whilst looking for second wife.

33 years old. Repeat above for a few more years.

35 years old. Marry young spunky 25 year old virgin flight attendant.

37 years old. Buy another house. Gave first one to wife #1.

38 years old. Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again.

39 years old. Now a Captain. Hooray! Upgrade house and buy boat and even flashier cars.

42 years old. Wife #2 runs off with wealthy merchant banker but still wants share of house (100%).

43 years old. Settle with wife #2 and resolve to stay away from women forever. Seek appointment as Check Captain to have something to do. Move into two bedroom apartment.

50 years old. Meet sexy model on International trip. She loves you and says you are very "beeeg."

51 years old. Marry sexy model. Buy big house, boat and upgrade cars.

52 years old. Sexy model wants kids (not again). Resolve to get vasectomy.

54 years old. Try to talk wife out of kids but hey presto she's pregnant. Says got sick after taking pill. Accident, sorry, won't happen again.

55 years old. Father of triplets.

56 years old. Wife ..3 wants very big house, bigger boat and very flashy cars. Give in.

57 years old. Make rash investments to try and have enough money for retirement.

59 years old. Lose money on rash investments and get audited by IRS. Have to fly 100% International nights just to keep up with child support & alimony to wife #1.

60 years old. Wife ..3 (sexy model) says you're too damned old and no fun. Leaves. Takes most of your assets. Forced to retire due to age 60 rule. No money left

61 years old. Now Captain on a non-sched South American 727 freight outfit and living in 1-bedroom non-air conditioned apartment directly underneath the approach corridor of MIA International RWY 9.

65 years old. Lose FAA medical and get job as sim instructor. Don't look forward to years of getting up at 2 AM for 3 AM sim brief in every godforsaken town you train in due to your carrier finding cheap, off-hour sim time at XYZ airline.

70 years old. Hotel alarm clock set by previous hotel room FedEx occupant goes off at 1 AM. Have heart attack and die. Happy at last!

I too got raked over the coals by wife of 30 years (and the lawyers). "Community propery" as it is called in the state of New Jersey. But when her father died and left her 1/2 million bucks, that was none of my business.

Well, life is a bitch and then you marry one.

Greets, the ol Capt.

Aviador seems like your attitude may be a source for many of your difficulties. You ooze negativity. This post in particular is arrogant, ignorant, demanding and demeaning.

If your POS truck was in an accident and have been running around out of alignment there certainly is a possibility you needed some parts replacement prior to an alignment. If you knew anything you would know that.

Quite possibly you encountered your first competent technician and you missed it because you think you know it all and assume everyone is out to rip you off. Note the first three letters of the word "ASSUME". People probably spot you a mile away.

Americans with attitudes like yours just make the rest of us look bad.

I'm an airline pilot too and can spot the "I'm better than you" big turbine driver attitude. I have to contain my own arrogant tendencies.(it takes one to know one)(though I'm just a lowly sled and navaho driver out of bush AK)(I could tell you a thing or two about bootleg IFR!)

Loose the attitude it really didn't work in the "industry" and it certainly doesn't work here!

Thankfully most thai people are descent, resilient and take people like you(and me) in stride. I'd say you have much to learn about living here.

And loose the POS mitsubishi and buy a toyota hilux!

OK. Hold on there junior.

I don’t know how old you are and whether you even live, of have lived in Thailand since you are flying the bush in Alaska. I did not just arrive yesterday. Sure I ooze negativity, because having been screwed out of my life savings within 2 ½ short years by devious people whom I treated like family. “You have a very good heart” was the consensus until they cleaned me out, as well and incompetent repair persons. If you read my post right, the part of the wheel alignment was my second encounter with those “competent technicians”.

Quote:

I'm an airline pilot too and can spot the "I'm better than you" big turbine driver attitude. I have to contain my own arrogant tendencies.(it takes one to know one though I'm just a lowly sled and navaho driver out of bush AK)(I could tell you a thing or two about bootleg IFR!)

End quote.

No you can’t. I too, spent 3000 hours in a Navajo (it’s spelled with a “ J” you know) no auto pilot, no radar flying checks in the Northeast corridor for 3 years in between jobs when the aviation industry hit bottom in the 70’s. I came up the “hard way’ like most pilots in the US (with the exception of the ex military jocks) I flew dead bodies in a Cherokee 6, ferried airplanes for Piper all over Europe and south America. I have 11 trans Atlantic ferry crossings in light aircraft, 4 in single engine airplanes (the last one was a Cherokee Warrior from PBI to ETGT Oxford Kidlington UK) before there was GPS or even loran. 14 hours of hand flying, solid IFR dead reckoning from Gander to Shannon). I crossed the Andes from La Paz Bolivia at 16,500 feet VFR to Arica Chile, no oxygen and smoked a pack of cigarettes while doing it.

Sunshine, before you start calling me the “better than you big turbine driver”. I started with the Gooney bird (DC3) and finally got the big break about 30 years ago. I was hired by a now defunct (what else is new) carrier. Started out as FO in an old 049 Connie and later got typed in the B707 and the B727. I was in heaven. Naturally that did not last very long either. Then a few stints in renegade old “water wagon” 7ohs’s where nothing worked, throughout South America. All one needed was a passport and “balls”. I ended up flying charter in Lears 25, 35, King Airs, Astra jet until I decided to pack it in. I have 16,000 hours TT, but only about 5000 in turbine equipment. I am still corresponding with former FO’s who are now Captains for the majors and call me “the best Captain they ever flew with.

Hey, if you want to trade war stories, I have a million of them. I could write a book, really.

My e-mail is: [email protected]

Greets, the ol’ Captain, happily retired.

I thought nothing could top my experiences with TOT until today, Wednesday May 31st. Tuesday afternoon around 3 PM my “high speed” ADSL which normally runs between 850 bits/sec (That’s right, just “bits” not Kilo) to around 2.9 kb/sec maximum, rolled over and died completely. Well, I reckoned that internet cafés were probably hogging the bandwidth. It is also the best time to be on the internet, because America is sleeping, and Europe is just waking up. I tried it again around 8 PM. Same thing. Nothing worthwhile on UBC anyway, so it’s off to bed.

I awoke around 3 AM and noticed the ADSL light showed “on-line“. Eureka !!!!! Let’s give it a try. As soon as I had booted up the PC, ADSL became unconscious again. On again, off again this continued for about an hour. Oh well, mañana será un otro día. This morning it was still deader than the proverbial doorknob.

I did have a telephone bill which I was going to pay at the local bank, but now, like it or not a visit to the ghoul of TOT-dom in Takuapa seemed the only choice. The icy stare I received when I entered spoke volumes. She knows me by now and if looks could kill, I would not be typing this. After several attempts to convey to the dumb broad the reason for my being here with zero results, a Thai-speaking German customer was kind enough to explain to the wench my lack of ADSL. She wrote down a telephone number to give to me and mumbled something. The only words I understood were “Farang and America”. Yes , I thought. We Americans are a funny lot. We are known to be great tippers, (so the employees of diving companies in Khao Lak tell me) but we can be a pain in the arse, whenever we don’t get a fair return for whatever services we pay for.

As expected my call to the number resulted in the usual “no Ingless”.

May pen rai.

Oh life in the LOS. Thais will scream at each other, but present a sinister smirk at farang, because farang are fair game to be taken advantage of at every opportunity . Not withstanding that they screwed me out of close to 4 million Baht within 2 years, but I too have learned a few things since.

I experienced a slow leak, a screw puncture to one of the front tires of my pickup. Of course there is nobody in this blasted tourist town to fix anything, let alone a car tire. A large place in Takuapa was recommended. Yes it was huge. Thousands of tires and all the machinery necessary to fix flats, mount and balance tires etc. My Burmese English and Thai speaking friend and I were served ice cold Coke, by the smiling lady owner. “Wow, a farang get the vaseline ready“ :>).

She pointed out to me that this tire was “very old” and needed to be replaced. Well, it showed excessive scuffing wear on the outside, probably due to misalignment. After the accident last year, the morons at he body shop in Phuket most likely never checked the alignment. This “very old” tire had 20,000 km (12,430 miles) on it. However she made me a reasonable deal on 2 new tires. New valve stems, mounted and balanced 4,000 Baht .

As for the alignment, she recommended a Mazda dealership her father owned just down the street. “Only charge 400 Baht for whole thing“. She even called the place, most likely to alert them to the arrival of an “easy mark” . Well I did not see an alignment machine when we arrived, but 2 fellows jacked up the truck, started wiggling the wheels, note paper in hand and disappeared. I told my young friend “watch this, they will probably try sell me something” Sure as shootin’ some broad came out later with an “estimate”. “Sir, it seems you need 2 ball joints, one sway-bar, and possibly 2 shocks”. ON A TRUCK WITH 12,500 MILES ON IT ???? (I just did not want to go back to the Mitsubishi dealer in Kokloy who has even worse morons working for them) This is when I lost my cool: “Look, I worked on cars before you imbeciles were even born. Take the damned truck off the lift, before I sick the dog (who was inside) on you”. If I want to get screwed, at least I would like to get kissed at the same time too. Old farang ain’t as stupid as you think he is.

Actually, I should have known better. I had taken the truck to them when I first bought it and complained about smoking at any speed as well as excessive fuel consumption. The owner of a resort here in Khao Lak recommended the place. By then it had almost 5,000 km on it and needed an oil change anyway. (The idiots at Mitsubishi in Kokloy couldn’t find anything wrong with it.) After they changed the oil, the “mechanic” raced the engine to the point, the entire shop area was enveloped in thick black smoke. “Is ok, may pen ray, you go too fast she smoke” said the genius. 40 km/hr is going FAST? lol:

I finally found a Farang ship Diesel mechanic who adjusted the injection timing and the problem was solved.

For the 10,000 km checkup I decided to once more deal with Mitsubishi in Kokloy, mainly because the back of the coupon in the book listed 11 items (all in Thai) to be addressed to at his time.

I have never been without a car in over 55 years, did most of the maintenance myself, but since this thing is under warrantee, I have no desire to get my hands greasy and crawl under a car at my age, why not let the “experts” do it.

I arrived at 11:25 AM, 5 persons were working on the only other customer’s Mitsu saloon car. Two guys placed my truck on the lift, opened the oil drain and returned to finish the other fellows vehicle. I sat in the lounge, looking at some magazines when I noticed that the girls in the office were locking their door. Is was now 12:00 o’clock…. Lunchtime!!! Everybody had disappeared. I sat there all by my lonesome self until 1 PM when the crew returned, replaced the oil as well as the oil-filter. 1,300 Baht, savasdee crap.

They did not even check the water in the battery.

Service ??? I don’t think they know the meaning of the word.

The follwing e-mail was forwarded to me, written by a now also retired pilot friend who like me was airborne at the time. What saved me and permitted continuance of the flight fromBoston to New York was the fact that I had a transplant team on board with a human heart in the cooler and a, I am sure very eager recipient at Columbia Prespitarian Mediacal Center in NYC.

Guys,

>

> Susie and I just got back from seeing "UAL Flight 93", it was

> absolutely gripping, and as a former airline pilot who was flying a

> trip that morning on a Boeing 767 from Cincinnati to Orlando it was

> almost too horrific to watch...it was very disturbing! For you pilot

> types, the attention to detail, the cockpit, the preflight, the crew,

> pilots and flight attendants boarding the aircraft and making small

> talk was or so real and routine...just another day in the office!

> Likewise the views from central flow control, NY and Boston ARTCC and

> the NORAD command center were very realistic.

>

> Should anyone have any doubts about our response, or lack of that

> morning you need to view this movie. Watching all the various

> controllers and their supervisors trying to get their arms around the

> problem and to come to grips and connect the dots is so very real.

> The movie appears to almost happen in real time and you can really

> sense the problem that the commanders had in thinking outside the box

> and realizing that we were really at war. Fighters are scrambled,

> late, and in the wrong direction, as threats are supposed to come

> from over the water to the east not from over land to the west; the

> planes are not armed, can they ram, and who has the authority to give

> that command... the command is given but not relayed to the pilots.

> The lack of communications, or rather the disbelief and lack of

> coordination is stunning but easy to understand. Even the pilots of

> UAL Flt 93 are given a data link message that the Towers have been

> hit and to beware of cockpit intruders...they brush it off in

> disbelief... as I'm sure any pilot would have prior to that date.

>

> The time line given at the end of the movie and the confusion over

> what planes were involved, and which flights were being hijacked is

> very revealing... we just couldn't get it together quickly enough. As

> pilots and crew members we had never been trained to deal with

> suicidal hijackers who were prepared to die, it was simply

> inconceivable at the time. A key point, though not belabored, was

> when the supervisor of the FAA Central Flow Control ordered that all

> aircraft in US airspace land immediately, (there were over 4200 in

> the air), that no planes from overseas would be allowed into the

> country and would be turned back, and that there were to be no over

> flights... he realized that we were at war but didn't know with

> whom... it was a very bold and brave move and he was thinking way

> outside the box... I believe that it was also his first day on the

> job as the boss!

>

> All Americans should see this movie as it may help them get a grip on

> the terrorist threat that we are up against vs. the radical Muslim

> world. I don't know if we belong in Iraq or how we should deal with

> Iran or North Korea or the Sudan, but I know that there is a real

> threat to our way of life from the radical Islamic fundamentalists. I

> continually hear that this is not a true reflection of the Koran or

> true Islamic beliefs. Well that may be true, and it might not be, but

> there would appear to be plenty of Muslims in the world that have an

> entirely different and radical interpretation of the Koran which we

> cannot ignore. What was probably as disturbing as watching an airline

> crew, that could have been me or any of my friends, seeing their

> world and their life taken away, was the hijackers preparing to die,

> washing themselves and praying to their god as if they were doing his

> will. They looked like ordinary young men, and to think that they

> could sit next to all these people on that plane that they were going

> to kill, who had nothing against them or done nothing to them, was

> beyond words. I guess if nothing else it gives you insight into the

> minds of suicide bombers, which to our Western way of thought is

> beyond comprehension. This movie will make you angry, very angry.

>

> My experience on 9/11.

>

> We were just ready to close the door for our Delta 767 flight from

> CVG to MCO when the gate agent came on board and asked if we had

> heard anything about a small plane hitting the World Trade Center, we

> had not, so she said goodbye and closed the door. Shortly thereafter

> we were airborne climbing out on a beautifully clear crisp fall

> morning heading to Florida with not a cloud in the sky or a care in

> the world. I heard a bizjet ask for a reroute since he could not get

> to New York and I thought that was strange. Then another bizjet said

> "well I guess we >won't be going there either" and asked for a

> clearance to an alternate. At that point I asked center what was

> going on. There was a pause and then the controller came back in a

> very excited voice and said "they have hit both of the Trade Center

> Towers, they have hit the Pentagon, they have hit the Capitol and the

> White House"... well you can imagine it got really lively on the

> frequency. I turned to my Co-Pilot and said "I don't know what has

> happened, but I do know that things will never be the same", and I

> think I got that right! Within seconds the controller had composed

> himself and said all flights on this frequency standby, and it was

> dead quiet. He then said all flights are to land immediately and went

> down the list of the planes under his control. "American 235 turn

> right heading 230 you're landing at Pittsburgh, Continental 456 turn

> left heading 180 for Cincinnati, Delta 235 (that's me) turn right to

> 250 and descend to 8000, you're landing at Knoxville, airport your 2

> o'clock 40 miles....etc" It was the best, fastest and most efficient

> handling I have ever had from ATC... they had everyone on the ground

> all over the country in minimum time. After all the initial

> confusion, their professionalism, and that of all the flight crews

> was exemplary! We spent two days in Knoxville and then ferried an

> empty 757 back to Atlanta and I believe were one of the first flights

> to land back at our main hub. Our arrival at ATL was one of the most

> moving experiences of my flying career. The airspace was totally

> empty, there was no talk on the radio, and we were the only plane in

> the sky over ATL, the busiest airport in the U.S., but we did have,

> unknown to us until informed by the controller, an F-16 right on our

> tail, but we never saw him. When we taxied in the normally frantic

> ramp area was dead quiet, all the ground equipment, tugs, baggage

> carts, tugs, fuelers etc. were lined up in military precision and the

> ground crew were standing at attention and saluted... wow, I'll never

> forget that. They needed a sign that things were getting back to

> normal... that we were moving and flying again.

>

> Reflections.

>

> As you may know I was on a United Flight several weeks ago from

> Chicago to Sacramento that had a passenger who tried to open the

> front cabin door, allegedly claimed to have a bomb, and took a swing

> at the flight attendant. We'll yours truly was sound asleep in the

> last row of coach and missed all the action, but suffice it to say

> that before he got very far he was rapidly subdued by the first class

> section and we diverted to Denver. Unlike Flight 93 he couldn't have

> gotten into the cockpit as the cockpit door is now armored and no

> passenger is going to sit still and let anyone interfere with the

> flight. I always felt that with the improved cockpit door that I

> would be totally safe, and that all my passengers in the cabin would

> act as Sky Marshals... I was and they did... they remembered 9/11,

> lets hope that we never forget! I would also like to mention that all

> the crew members on my United flight as well as all the ground rescue

> folks in Denver and the United station personnel did an absolutely

> marvelous job in handling this incident. It made me proud to have

> once been a part of this profession.

>

> John

Greetings, the ol Captain, happily retired.

I took the liberty to go back to some of my posts here a few months ago. My adventures with TOT for a phone line I paid 12,000 Baht for.

TOT did get their act together at least for now and the connection remains active for 2 hours or more. With "true" I am connected to the 1222 number which I understand is 3 Baht per connection. Last month I just put the dialer on 500 re-dials and managed to get something after 300 or even 350 attempts. Since the number connected but then informed me that: "The remote computer did not answer within the alotted time, your PPP is not recognized by our computer's PPP, (sounds like something a girlfriend told me once ) the remote computer is out of service etc", I just kept plodding along. Starting to auto-dial at 4 AM and by the time I got out of the shower around 7, Glory be..... I had a connection.

Until I received the phone bill: 200 Baht (basic charge I suppose, I can't read Thai) and 750 Baht for whatever. No explanation, nothing. Since I never ever use the land line for anything but the computer a trip to TOT in Takuapa was in order. I asked the scare crow at the counter, (god do I dislike this woman. I had several run-ins with this farang hating individual) what the additional 750 Baht were for. Her answer: "You play internet". It turned out that I was charged for every connection even though it only resulted in the modem at the other end informing me: "Sorry Charly, not now". Simple arithmetic : 250 re-dials = 750 baht

I received a telephone call from TOT Friday, asking me, if my telephone worked. What ? It appears to be working, because how else would I be able to talk to you ? “Oh, cop koon kaaaaah“, purred the chick at the other end. The line went dead again that evening and did not come to life again until last night. Punishment for being a wise guy, I suppose.

I pre-paid TT&T for SDSL 5 weeks ago, nobody has shown up as yet either.

I gave up on the first washing machine mensch and called another one 3 weeks ago. Not a sign of him also.

I was quite satisfied wit TOT's ADSL, but the Tsunami changed everything. I wanted to try TT&T just to see if there was a difference.

6 months after the tsunami TOT still hasn't gotten their act together with even the basic phone service. (It was out again for 20 hours over the weekend but the bills keep coming) They should pay me for all the aggravation.

TOT’s bill for May arrived today. Always a joyous occasion and the reason to keep several antacid tablets handy prior to opening.

Everything of non-importance is in Thai as well as English, like previous balance, paid amount, and post -bill adjustment (whatever that is) All that is missing is a smiley to really rub it in how they screwed me the month before.

The left side, first line contains the current charges (all in Thai), with the exception of something in parenthesis (M2) Beats me what that is. Well, it’s only 200 Baht, so be it.

Second line all hieroglyphics: 1,557.00 Baht,

Next line, ditto: 18.00 Baht,

Last but not least ditto but

(Audiotex) ?? behind it: 6.00 Baht

VAT 7%: 124.67 Baht

Grand total: 1,905.67 Baht

My Thai friend tells me the above represents “LOCAL CALLS” placed from my Telephone. I know for a fact that there were absolutely no calls made from my phone, because I don’t even have a handset hooked up to it . I use the line strictly for the computer.

I can just see the old bitch in Takuapa telling me again: “You play internet, you must pay”.

I use “TRUE” as an ISP which uses the 1222 number and pay, I think 480 Baht for 30 days unlimited access.

Last month the line was more dead than alive, in fact between the 15th and 21st I had no more than perhaps 2 days on uninterrupted service. At one point there was nothing for an entire weekend. Whenever I did manage to get a dial tone, I was rudely interrupted every 10 or 15 minutes, because the line went silent again.

Assuming, (I know assume makes an ass out of you and me :>) but in reality, at 3 Baht per connection I figured I would have to have been re-connecting 519 times ? IMPOSSIBLE

Even if it were true, it means that I am paying 2,385.67 Baht a month for the privilege of lightning speed dial-up with: (let’s see 15.9 kb/sec at this moment while I am posting this here.) Asinine !!!!

Hand me another antacid and pour me a stiff glass of Johnny Walker Black label.

Two weeks ago Friday the phone went dead again. it wasn't raining or anything. No dial tone on Saturday and the same in green on Sunday. Monday morning a call to TOT's cusomer service to some broad who does not speak English was answered via one of my Thai speaking friends with “I will check” and that’s about all the response I received every time I called.

True to Thai culture, no one will ever admit to not knowing anything. That would mean loosing face. So it is always: “we will check”. The Thais seem to accept this with a shrug of the shoulders, a c’est la vie attitude which I am afraid I will never get used to.

Later in the week I received a phone call from someone at TOT. “We are changing the lines. No shit Sherlock. You had 6 months to do that . I drove to the village and noticed 10 or so lines laying on the ground. That was a week ago Wednesday.

OK. Factor in:

Thursday and Friday being a Buddhist holiday followed by the weekend, it doesn’t take a mathematical genius to figure out that nothing is going to happen until the following Monday. (maybe).

As a youngster at the age of 18 (more than 50 years ago) I worked briefly for New Jersey Bell Telephone Company in the USA. We were replacing some of the ancient telephone lines in the village where I lived. Just about the same thing as they are doing here, EXCEPT:::

The new lines were strung, leaving the old one’s in place temporarily until “cut over”. At that time, subscribers were notified that there may not be any phone service for about 3 to 4 hours.

Well, guess what ? Nobody was without phone service for more than 2 hours.

In my travels as a pilot I spent a great deal of time in South America. I remember a hotel in Manaus Brazil about 30 years ago. A place where native Indians ran around butt naked only an hour’s canoe ride up the Rio Negro. The Hotel however did have telephone service. I wanted to place a phone call to the USA just to tell my company that I did indeed arrive. Several attempts of the desk clerk with a hand crank phone did not elicit a reply from the “operator”. ¨”Senhor pesaroso, said the man, but the lady may be out feeding the chickens”. This was perfectly acceptable as something occurring in a third world country.

But some of the lame excuses TOT has should not be tolerated in today’s LOS.

Well, day before yesterday the 27th of July I finally had had it. I got a hold of someone who speaks Thai, dialed the customer service number and while he was talking to this tomato, I screamed and hollered in the background using every English profanity I could muster. “I will talk to the engineer” was her reply. Voila !! 1 hour later my phone worked. Even though I did get disconnected 4 times within 30 minutes attempting to retrieve my e-mal.

The same afternoon TOT's truck arrived. ADSL is back. Well, it isn't god's gift to internet connections, but at least (I thought) I would not be diconnected every 5 minutes. Not really. This morning punctually at 8 AM, (the Thai national anthem was playing on the satellite TV), DSL went south. Nothing worked. Switching to dial-up everything was honky dory. Oh well.

I know it is getting to be "old hat" but:

In anticipation of the onslaught of visitors the next season promises, it’s construction time down-town our fair village. Widening the thoroughfare to 4 lanes of highway, broad sidewalks, installation of storm-water drainage pipes, you name it. The area looks like a war zone. Pity the poor business owner who in his haste or ignorance to expand his business, had encroached on the “right of way” property of state owned real estate. The bulldozers know no mercy.

Since utility poles are placed at the edge of said land, it is up to the skill of the operator manipulating these monster machines to work within inches of said carriers of life giving juice. Well, one eager beaver managed to knock down the concrete structure, wires and all. I was typing a rather lengthy e-mail around 11:30 AM Thursday when the lights went out. Naturally all my work disappeared in cyberspace. Once more, I must tip my hat to the electric company, because 3 ½ hours later, all was well again, except for dear old TOT. Deader than the proverbial doorknob. Some fellow arrived in town driving a TOT truck, surveyed the jumble of wires littering the ground, but decided to have lunch, since the mess was right in front of a restaurant. Afterwards he departed, figuring it was probably too late in the day to do anything, so “preung nee” was sufficient.

Later I went downtown and took some pictures. I can’t for the live of me understand, why, after almost 8 months, having had the chance to re-do everything in a professional manner, the “rat’s nest” junctions are still in vogue. No sense of esthetics I suppose. http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y165/Aviador/Ratsnest.jpg

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y165/Aviador/TOT001.jpg

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y165/Aviador/TOT004.jpg

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y165/Aviador/TOT003.jpg

It is now Tuesday the 23rd of August 2005, 6 days after the power failure. After numerous phone calls to TOT, only to receive the same old answer: “We will check”, I resigned myself to just wait, because after all the weekend was coming up, when sure as shootin' nothing would be done anyway.

Just now, the geniuses from TOT arrived, laden with electronic equipment. (meters, oscilloscopes etc.) After thoroughly testing the incoming wiring, as well as the line inside the house, the “PROGNOSIS”: Nothing wrong with your line, must be further down in the village. NO SHIT SHERLOCK, I could have told you that.

A phone call right at this moment confirmed my suspicion. Just like the last time. They hooked up my line to someone else‘s phone.

And now, it is May 23rd 2006. ADSL is still the joke of all jokes.

Advertised: Speed 512/256 5555555555555555555555555555555555555555 double haaaaaa.

I do get on line at 3 or 4 AM occasionally because it is afternoon on the east coast of the US where I have a brother and numerous friends and pilot colleages. The best I ever got at those times was 58 kb/sec. Come 7 AM or later is goes from slow to comatose. 2.3 up to maybe 5.6 kb/sec. I attempted to download a 2,8 MB file and was told: Estimated time 1hour 58mintes Once it showed 880 and I was jubilant. But it was 880 BITS. :>((( And all this for only 859.21 Baht per month. When it rains, and it does rain this time of year, I may get disconnected 3 or 4 times within 1 hour. Saturday it was out from 10 PM until 8 AM Monday. I gave up calling them, because I get the same bull shit: "Please disconnect your modem and plug it in again". Look moron, I did that 20 times already..

May pen rai, Greets the ol Capt.

Oh I notice. arse orifice"" and the un sanitised version od "darned"was

edited LOL

I am sitting here the monsoon has arrived, the boys are watching satellite TV.

Some time ago I read a report, a complaint actually from some black organization, that the film industry is severely lacking pictures with black actors.

For 1,423 Baht a month I get Home Box, Cinemax, STMV, and at least 4 or more other US movie channels on UBC. Every one of them and I mean every one has nothing but violent movies the majority with nothing but black actors. I have nothing against black actors, many are amongst my favorites, but all the shows they present are detective, crime, gory root’n toot’n car chasing cops and robbers shows. The boys are fast learning “Nigger English”. Eg 13, a neighborhood boy who is very intelligent, has learned more English in the 2 years I have known him, then in the 5 years in school is already talking this jargon and loves to show it off.

Ah kick you black ass, motherf… , shiiiiit, shut you mouth bitch, ######, <deleted>.. you of course, (which is every second word anyway) yo jiving me bro is already part of his everyday English vocabulary. None of those movies are dubbed in Thai, some have Thai titles underneath. Occasionally at night UBC will show a movie whose actors have been dead long enough to qualify for resurrection.

If it weren’t for about 4 cartoon channels for the little guys, discovery, natl. geographic CNN, BBC and the history channel I wouldn’t even have the ###### thing.

I know I am bitchin again,

The ol Capt.

Aviador, How did you manage to get your Truck back ???? and as for your previous posts, I learnt a lot from them!!!!

Well, I still have it albeit no book, which the SOB still has. He also still holds my bank book and ATM card as well as the papers to the motor bike Now I have a problem because the tax is due and the insurance expires next month. I don't want to do it the "Thai way" and drive without. I have several more experiences written down which are on my PC, which got struck by lightning last week, is in Phuket and needs a mother board, so they say (although the fellow is a farang). I noticed today that the printer is dead as well.

Why me oh Lord, why me.

Greets the ol Capt'n.

Oh, by the way, on January 1st my Social Security payments were stopped. It seems they sent me a questionaire which I never received. Then took the liberty to delare me [/b]dead. I was now officially dead and literally penniless, were it not for a benevolent sister in Canada who sent money and brother in the US who dealt with the most ignorant, stuipd, apathetic bureaucratic morons ever assembled on this planet.

It was only resolved about 3 weeks ago.

The US Embassy to which I sent an urgend E-mail, didn't even bother to reply. Tough shit bro, that's what you get for living abroad. Come dahhling let's go to the ambassador's paahty.

3 Million Baht gone in less than 2 years and I don't even gamble or live extravagantly.