KunMatt

I will start planning early feb.

im not planning on building a palace, so I don't believe will take a year to build.

We will stay with the in-laws

the in-laws will live on site during the build

We will rent in the nearby town.

having the birth in a hospital in the town.

Alright, seems like you have everything worked out already (and haven't heeded anyone's advice! )

Best of luck and be sure to post back in 3 years and let me know how it all worked out for you.

 

living  in pattaya  ...

 

When do you plan to pack our bags and settle down back in the village up in nong song hong 100km south of khon kaen with the support of her parents and family ?

 

 

Come on david 48 im not ignoring you, I have liked many of your posts.

 

I just thought in your last comment you were  being sarcastic.

 

I move in jan, but have now decided to build next November when the baby will be 8 months, don't want any stress during the birth.

will also give me more time living with the family see how we get on.

So full build or extension of your parent's place?

From when you start to plan with the builder/architect to completion will be about a year so you are look at moving in when your kid is 20 months and maybe moving away 2 years later when your child is 4.

So where will you stay until your child is 8 months old and during the build?

You also haven't said where you plan to have the birth?

I think Matt's first post was excellent but since his posts seem to be getting more and more judgmental. While I think he has a valid point about his kids education I don't think it needs to be the only deciding factor in the decision. Having the time to be with your kids allows you to have more impact on their life. Yes they will be influenced by the other kids and the extended family but if you are directly involved in their life you can counter the negative and enhance the positive aspects of that. I sure don't claim to be an expert on anything but I agree strongly with MeMock and the other poster who home-school and/or supplement their kids education with tutoring. If I was still working in the west I would be getting home only an hour or two before his bedtime and likely wouldn't have the energy after a long days work to do much more than veg and watch TV with him.

I haven't tried to be judgemental at all. Even when someone said that the primary reason they are raising their children in the poorest part of a 3rd world country with the worst education standards in this region was to save money and play golf, I wished them well and said it was their choice, no judgement from me about that. Any curt replies from me after that are simply because some people are trying to find something about me or my family to condescend me with.

I don't think I am being negative, I do have some positive points about living here but realistically the many cons outweigh the few pros here for me for raising my kids in Thailand, and especially in Isaan. In the beginning I did want it to work here and had some deluded thoughts about how I could make it work but looking back at it I was really just trying to gloss over certain things and convince myself I could make it work rather than impartially judging what the best option would be for my children. I see other posters in this thread are doing the same thing.

The visa situation is a big factor for me personally. I would be living year to year hoping that they don't introduce a rule that would mean we would all have to up and leave Thailand anyway. I don't like being at the mercy of that system. That's not me being negative, that is me thinking practically about what is likely to happen in the future.

That's without the consideration of how my kids will turn out if they grow up here and, to be blunt, I don't like Thai youth's culture, values or morals so that is a big factor for me to raise them in my home country which I know from growing up there. And yes, people will retort that there are Muslim children in the UK, and Eastern Europeans, and chavs and the dole but I honestly don't care, that's just the negative Daily Mail side of the UK that people focus on when they are not there and want something to criticise the UK about.

And as for schooling, everyone keeps saying that you have to home school your kids to make up for the lacking Thai education system, but even when we live in the UK I plan to be very involved with them and their studies anyway so I hope they will soar in the UK instead of just getting by in Thailand.

Like I said before, I have the option to either raise them in Thailand or the UK and economics are not a factor for me about this. But answer me this; how many Thais would choose the UK option if they had the same choice? Every westernised Thai person I have spoken to has told me that no way in hell should I send my kids to a Thai school, not even the best international school. This is why every rich Thai sends their kids to a western school.

So back to the OP, you have a few years left to make up your mind. If you can afford to drop a few million in Isaan for 3 years of living there and walk away from it all the same then go for it, otherwise you should hang on to your money and invest it wherever you decide to settle long-term. That's advice from my experience of living here for 3 years, maybe you think you have the answer already but you know what they say? "Experience is something you think you have until you get a little bit more of it". Don't rush into anything and don't commit to anything, it will be very difficult to tell your Isaan family your plans now and then change them completely later without breaking someone's face.

I may sound negative because it doesn't go along with everyone's "can do" attitude of trying to raise kids here because they want to stay here for themselves, but I am just trying to be realistic and the reality is my kids would be much better off growing up in the UK or so I believe. That's my prerogative and I don't care what anyone else does with their own kids.

So, there's the ammo, take your shots everyone.

living  in pattaya  ...

 

When do you plan to pack our bags and settle down back in the village up in nong song hong 100km south of khon kaen with the support of her parents and family ?

 

What have you got to do to get an answer in this thread David?? Hang on, let me ask him for you:

Hey OP, when are you planning to move to the village and settle down there?

I'm not mad at you,i think your pro's and cons for the op to move to issarn and raise a family for a sustainable period have been enlightning and entertaining.

I guess i wont be winning parent of the year this year:(After my son has finished his education he may venture down many roads.but one thing is for sure,thats his future,because he will have a profit making enterprise to fall back on.

Great!

Jeez no wonder you have no friends here:coffee1:

C'mon, that was the best setup for a Tommy Boy reference ever. I'm not to blame for that, you gave it to me on a plate!!!

I'm not mad at you,i think your pro's and cons for the op to move to issarn and raise a family for a sustainable period have been enlightning and entertaining.

I guess i wont be winning parent of the year this year:(After my son has finished his education he may venture down many roads.but one thing is for sure,thats his future,because he will have a profit making enterprise to fall back on.

Great!

I missed it,when did you say you were leaving?

In about 20 months. Are you mad at me cuz you made yourself look like such a pathetic parent in this thread that you have to keep taking shots at me?? lol

Cough ...

To everyone, but I'll be honest, KunMatt is in front of mind ... what consideration is given to access by the grandparents / other close relatives?

Just know how strong Family connections are in Thailand.

Sorry gents ... just clearing my throat ..

Sorry mate. Are you a little fellow cuz everyone keeps overlooking you in here!!

Life in Issan is the same as life anywhere else. Just chill out see whats happening and adapt. If you want mince and tatties your knackered. I


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Thanks but no thanks. That is probably the worst, most ill thought out advice for mine and my children's future anyone has ever given me. I think I will do what I know is best and move back to the UK when I see fit. Thanks for trying though.

Kunmatt,

Have your girlfriend or children been to the uk before.

3 times, for 2 or 3 months each time. She is best friends with my 2 sisters and Skypes my parents more than I do. She doesn't particularly want to live in the UK but, like me, she knows it is the best thing for our children. There are a few Thai restuarants where I live and a Thai market that imports goods from Thailand nd cost similar to the price of goods here.

If any Thai could take their kid to get a UK upbringing for free do you really think they wouldn't do it?

Nice try. Have another shot...

Each to there own Kunmatt,

I know my wife wouldn't like to be far from her family.

But just having a 3rd world bottom of asia education,she probably wouldn't pass the immigration requirements anyway.

Life in Issan is the same as life anywhere else. Just chill out see whats happening and adapt. If you want mince and tatties your knackered. I

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Thanks but no thanks. That is probably the worst, most ill thought out advice for mine and my children's future anyone has ever given me. I think I will do what I know is best and move back to the UK when I see fit. Thanks for trying though.

Kunmatt,

Have your girlfriend or children been to the uk before.

3 times, for 2 or 3 months each time. She is best friends with my 2 sisters and Skypes my parents more than I do. She doesn't particularly want to live in the UK but, like me, she knows it is the best thing for our children. There are a few Thai restuarants where I live and a Thai market that imports goods from Thailand nd cost similar to the price of goods here.

If any Thai could take their kid to get a UK upbringing for free do you really think they wouldn't do it?

Nice try. Have another shot...

Life in Issan is the same as life anywhere else. Just chill out see whats happening and adapt. If you want mince and tatties your knackered. I

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Thanks but no thanks. That is probably the worst, most ill thought out advice for mine and my children's future anyone has ever given me. I think I will do what I know is best and move back to the UK when I see fit. Thanks for trying though.

I have 4 children here who all speak fluent English/Thai/Issan.Sep lai. Het eang u. English is easy if you only talk English at home.

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Yes, I don't disagree, in fact I just said the same thing in my last post. Are you sure you are replying to the correct thread cuz you are not adding anything to the ongoing conversation and it feels like you are arguing a point with someone who is not here?

Hey Matt. I was only speaking from my own experiene. I live in Chonburi but ban nok Chonburi. Every day after work I teach the local kids english for 1hr. It not only helps them to speak english but allows them to teach me thai.

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I still think you are missing the point. Having my child fluent in English is the easiest thing to solve. My 2 year old speaks English as his first language here in Isaan and still talks Thai and Laos with his Thai family. Him learning English is the least of my worries as he is basically an English baby growing up in Isaan.

Read the rest of this thread for the other more serious problems of raising a child here.

If you speak and write good English which obviously you do. Why not teach your child yourself? Easy.

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Wow, that is so easy! You've just solved all of the problems for raising a child in Thailand and Isaan so that they are now safe, healthy and well educated and have the values and morals that I want from them. Congratulations on your amazing insight that nobody has ever considered before. You have just changed my life with that incredible comment.

Matt, your post overpage #58 is one of the best I read this year, I acknowledged it then and still do now ...

But, let's not fall into the trap that what works for you works for others equally.

Just so you know, when the time our kids arrive, most likely they will be schooled in my Home Country, so I'm not disagreeing with your opinions.

But what works for us, maybe doesn't work for others.

If parents wish to school their children here (Thailand), for what ever reason ... great ... their decision for what ever reason or judgements.

Let's not take this discussion down the road of 'where is the best place to school your kids' as this is the OP's thread asking about 'first-experince-of-gf-isaan-village', and not a schooling thread.

I agree and I wasn't being judgemental, just pointing out some heavy truths that poster may want to think about.

In about 20 months my son will be 4 and we'll go to the UK a few months before the school year to settle into the UK. It also gives me time to purchase another house in the UK for us to live in, sort out my kid's passports, get married and get my missus her UK visa, etc.

I know your point is "why I don't move back to the UK asap considering my above statement?" but we are extremely close to my gf's family and I think it's best for everyone if I give them as much time with the grandchildren they adore before we move away. The best time for that I believe is when my son is ready to go to school.

A few replies regarding people's perspectives on what's best for their kids.

<snip>

Education wise, the options are therefore roughly equal results wise. Although lifestyle wise my kids would probably prefer to spend afternoons on the couch watching TV rather than studying with a tutor.

Safety:

Thailand isn't as safe, but just because other people talk on their phones while driving a bike with 3 ppl and no helmets doesn't mean my kids will. With the proper precautions taken, and they will be taken, safety isn't too much of a worry.

<snip>

I think it's very obvious that you want to stay in Thailand regardless of the facts so you have glossed over some very important issues so it suits your biased need.

"safety isn't too much of a worry" - I know 5 people from our village who have been killed in the last 2 years, 3 of them were kids who were doing nothing wrong, 2 of them were killed by their drunk teacher on a Sunday who ran them over and then fled leaving them dying in the road. I witnessed a teenager killed by a hit and run in Phuket who was doing nothing wrong. It honestly isn't too much of a worry for you? Dengue, Malaria, Enterovirus71, etc, not a concern?

You are a teacher and you think that Thailand's education options are equal to NZ?? Would NZ be bottom ranked of all of the ASEAN 3rd world countries too?? Even if you did get a great home tutor and your kids were very receptive I don't think it will make up for the shortfall in 15 years of Thai schools and indoctrination. Why do all the rich Thais send their kids to Australia and UK for schooling if it could be done so well in Thailand with a home tutor?

Either admit you want to stay in Thailand for yourself or reconsider your points because you only get one chance to raise your kids.

 

So Matt, you came for a wife?

When I came here as a single guy I had different priorities to now. I wanted to live a care free easy life on an Island, go diving every day, hang out with cool people, party hard and sleep in bars, do water sports, learn Muay Thai, be fluent in Thai and so on. You can see how that worked out!

Now I have children obviously my priorities have changed and even though I would not do it without them, I cannot wait to move back to the UK with my missus and kids and give my children a UK upbringing similar to how I had and loved myself.

You telling me that you live in Thailand because it is cheap and you get to play golf 3 times a week makes me think that you and I have totally different priorities when it comes to our kids, but it's your kids and it's it's totally your choice to bear.

 

Good for you matt,while your in the uk raising your kids,i'll be here with mine.

Raising them in the bottom ranked in education of the 8 ASEAN countries.

Good call Jo, hope all that golf is worth it in the end.

Matt's absolutely right in everything he's said.

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However if you come here and want to stay for the rest of your life,its possible.

But you and your kids will be thai,not both.

Thats the path i have chosen.

Good for some,not all.

You've seen what I've said already in this thread so I mean this as no troll, but why, what reasons are there that would make you want to do it.

Just curious as maybe I can add some pros to my UK vs Thailand list.

When i first came here i had the same intent to take my wife to aus,after apply it was not possible so i bit the bullet sold my company and moved here with the intent to stay and raise a family.

Economics told me with what i had i couldn't be back and forth so a decision was made.

I am one of the lucky ones as the business i work in has prospered over the years.

However the people i stay around have not.They will always be the first to complain about farang not share money as they sit in their hammocks and cry why are we poor.

To go back to australia if i sold up everthing would buy me a modest house,no car and back working for the bank,something i dont choose to do like the op.

My children have a great oppurtunity here if they concentrate on english at school as well.

I have here at 42 a 100 rai,nice house and car etc dept free and money in bank.Also play golf 3 times a week.

If done right theres bucket loads of success to be had here,but i always have in the back of my mind,no one will look after me here so i do my best to create a future as i can.

The key to it all is never compare western world to asia,it is what it is and what you make it.

Well I said I wouldn't troll you and I'm going to try my hardest not to based on what you said, but essentially you chose to stay in Thailand (Isaan?) because it saved you money and made you more comfortable. Your kid's best interests aren't even mentioned.

I know that for a lot of people this is the reason they choose to raise their kids in Thailand. Luckily money is not a factor for me and I will do whatever it takes and costs me to give my kids the best possible upbringing I can give them and raising them in a 3rd world country, which is one of the lowest ranked for education of the surrounding 3rd world countries, is certainly not what I would ever do to my kids.

Matt's absolutely right in everything he's said.

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However if you come here and want to stay for the rest of your life,its possible.

But you and your kids will be thai,not both.

Thats the path i have chosen.

Good for some,not all.

You've seen what I've said already in this thread so I mean this as no troll, but why, what reasons are there that would make you want to do it.

Just curious as maybe I can add some pros to my UK vs Thailand list.

Thanks to all for the advice, we just spent 4 great days at the Sunee Grand and saw a completely different side to Ubon city. And I mean that literally, I had no idea that huge road of bar and restaurants along the Moon River was there, it blew me away as I didn't think Ubon had anything like this.

The hotel was excellent. Again, much nicer than I expected from Ubon and if it wssn't for everyone's advice I wouldn't even have considered it and would probably have stayed at LaiThong again. Sunee is a hundred times better!

Something strange happened on checkin and I was thinking about what you guys said about them changing the rates; basically I found a Junior Suite on Agoda for 3k a night, the Sunee website had the same suite for 2800 baht a night all inclusive, so we called them to check and they confirmed, they have this room for 2800 baht all inclusive. So we I didn't pre-book, I thought I'd chance it worst case if they up the price to 3500 baht I'll book it on Agoda on my phone. We get to the hotel an hour later and they say they don't have any of those suites available, nor any deluxe rooms even though Agoda was showing many of each available, they said they only the more expensive suite which is 3k (has panoramic city view) and a special room. So I ask to see the suite and this "special" deluxe room they have. So the special room was just a deluxe with an extra bed for 2700 baht, which is right cuz a deluxe is 2k and an extra bed is 700 baht, the bell boy shows us the junior suite which I didn't like because the room is partitioned into several smaller rooms, so we ask the bellboy to see what else they have and he shows us a couple of empty deluxes and an empty normal junior suite, and he says that they have many of each available. So basically the front desk were lying when they said they only had the expensive junior suites left and we ended up staying in the deluxe room which was big enough for all 4 of us (2 babies!!).

Anyways, that's really my only grumble. The food was great, in fact we spent the first 2 days eating lunch and dinner in the hotel like terrible tourists!

I thought that Water Park was rubbish but the hotel's own pool was OK. Staff were incredible and made us and my son feel very welcome. The band rocked in their own way too!!

All in all, I cannot recommend the Sunee Grand enough to anyone. We'll definitely be going back there whenever we want a change from the countryside.

Cheers all for the advice.