Krap

Prison time might be ok in a country where u can trust due process and where bribes are not frequent. Risking 2 years prison for something unforeseen happening on your vacation might not fit everyones idea of fun n relaxation.

That said, a cup-O-coffee would be nice. Many times more enjoyable than a thai girl and much less troublesome.

My first post here, hi!

I am a swede and in Sweden there is a law prohibiting paying for sexual services. Its been around for about 10-15 years and norway just got the same law. Maximum punishment is 6 months. Note that selling is legal.

Before the law came into place there were a street in stockholm where the prosititues walked every night. Now they have all disappeared and instead it have moved to apartments and hotel visits. What have also been more common is sex slaves. This is almost always eastern european women that are locked up in some appartment and its totally controlled by the mafia that also comes from eastern europe. The law created a new market for organized crime and all the suffering that follows with that.

I have no idea about these thai massage places with happy ending never seen one never heard of one but i guess the women that work there are not being forced but they just keep doing what they were doing in thailand.

There are alot of young thai women out partying in stockholm, malmö and göteborg most of these girls have been picked up by a swede in a bar in phuket, pattaya or any other tourist destination. Most of them want to have a job in sweden because its paying very well. They meet some other thai women and get a job offer in massage with happy ending they take the job and tell their husband/boyfriend its just ordinary massage. I doubt there are many swedish men that are trafficing thai women and forcing them to work as sex slaves.

True and well spoken. Sweden is also the most ultrafeministic country in the world, creating quite a few non logical situations like this one. Its called ideology. The effects of the law was well predicted buy simple economic theory about black markets but introduced never the less not considering the victims due to the strong feminism movement. Before the law the prostitutes where well known by the social workers and police and would get help and healthcare when needed. Now its all underground. Proudly though the statistics imply less prostitution.

Stayed at Boss a long time ago, its not a very good place in my opinion. Roaches seem to be frequent at places where many farang stay short term. Havent seen many in the cheaper thai neighbourhoods that i stayed in at times. Been at my present place now for about a year and probably seen less then 5 roaches in that time, and they seem to turn up in rainy season mainly. Keep on looking, there are so many places to choose from. Deposit? Insist on getting it back for all the trouble u had, after all the service u got wasnt good at all.

There is always a need for tests, if not we wouldnt have science and we would all just be guessing on how to get progress....

Realy. Progress......

So what result would you be looking for when testing your wife/GF and what progress do you think you going to make?

The design of the test could ofcourse be discused and is not an easy task but one thing most of us would look for is to avoid a thief? Some would also like to try to find out if their partner is of faithful nature? Progress would be avoiding that kind of trouble in ur life? Blind romance and other magic thinking wont get u there.

There is always a need for tests, if not we wouldnt have science and we would all just be guessing on how to get progress....

Isn't it weird how normally so many of us would jump to support the poor farrang being ripped off by this ungrateful money grabbing Thai wife... yet when we hear the story from her side, we can show real compasion...

I am in no way criticising little2farrang... I totally believe her story, and it seems that her husband has gone off the rails now he is back in Thailand...

@ little2... do you know any of his farrang friends that are Jai Dii??? Friends that will talk to you and too him and try to help sort things out nicely??? Friends who will talk to him and make him see that he has gone funny in the head, and needs to get himself right???

I am sure that you want him to still be around and a father to your children if he can set a good role model for them...

GuestHouse is right about the divorce, if you married in UK, then you are entitled to the same treatment under law as if you were living in the UK... but aside from knowing you might have money to support your children, the court can not make your husband be a good man again...

I wish you the best of luck...

Regards,

Daewoo

Thank you for your time. i am also agree with you. yes, correct you've just listen to my side (as no one blame themselves)and yes i do need some support from him but if it by force... ( i am Thai i don't like this way ).. may be i will not take it. He is a human he should know ( or may be not ) what he should do right?

Thai way sometime outsmart farang way.

MikeyIdea, thnxs for the breafing about thai schools, came in handy as i had just begun to think a bit about this. School really can be expensive! I woulndt pay 500000b per year if i wasnt really loaded though, then again my spelling sucks so maybe someone should have paid more for me in the past...

Fist take maximum dose of Paracetamol ( Tylenol) wich is 1000mg 3-4 times per day, and at the same time 3 times daily 400mg ibuprofen. This should be the foundation. If not enough try adding 50mg tramadol morning and night, increase the dose slowly if needed to about 100mg max 3-4 times per day.

I would caution against the above. Both aceteminophen (Tylenol, Paracetemol) and NSAIDs have been linked to kidney damage especially if taken in high diosage and/or for long periods of time..and the combination of both aceteminophen and NSAID has been shown to be considerably more dangerous than either one alone.

If such a combination is being taken should be sure to get a baseline creatnine (blood test) and that it is in normal range, and repeat at least monthly if still taking these medications.

Ofcourse knowing ut healthstatus and considering any sideffect or personal limitations is key, paracetamol widley known for causing liverdamage in to high doses or in combination with alcohol. Ibuprofen is mostly known for gastrointestinal sideeffects.

Ther combination is widley used, checking kreatinin and alat/asat for liver is a good idea though.

"Pain-relief drug combines paracetamol and ibuprofen

4:00AM Wednesday Oct 28, 2009

By Kara Segedin

<H2 class=caption>Maxigesic will be available from pharmacies this month. File photo / Rotorua Daily Post</H2>New Zealanders will soon find a new and improved pain relief treatment on pharmacy shelves.

The new tablet, which for the first time here combines paracetamol and the anti-inflammatory ibuprofen, will be available this month.

It was developed and tested in New Zealand with help from teams in the United States.

Each tablet contains 500mg paracetamol and 150mg of ibuprofen"

Thanks all for your thoughts and experiences, they mean a lot to me, and I'm glad to hear from people who have experienced something similar. Philo, I'm glad to hear that your situation has ended up having a more positive(?) impact on your life.

I am a very logical person and normally make decisions easily after weighing up all the information, but this one is just too tough. I have spoken with a couple of lawyers and they said it would be easy to get an order preventing them from leaving here, especially as Thailand is not signatory to the Hague Convention. Also, that it would be virtually impossible for my wife to claim any of my assets (due to the way they are structured). So at least I have a fair bit of leverage.

Not separating children sounds to be a common theme. The older one couldn't care less about his brother at the moment, although I'm sure that would change as they grow up. Although there is more family in Thailand than there is here; in my mind the most important people for kids is their mother and father. If they were in Thailand then their mother would probably be working 5-6 days/week and could be long hours too. Whereas if here they would see a lot more of me, as my hours are not great, and work schedule is flexible.

I think the main thing for me is thinking of the future - both boys growing up in Thailand and amongst Thai society, the thought of being distant with them, the possibility of them having a stepfather, but most of all the regret. I can do it, I have all capabilities to raise him. If I was too poor, or had to work too many hours and couldn't give him much attention, or had too many other responsibilities, then the decision would be so much easier to make, and I could let him go with my mind at ease that it's the right decision.

If they were both to live in Thailand, their mum said I could visit anytime(and I would 2-4 times/year), and they could come back here to visit during Thai school holidays. But I'm not sure that this is enough. It sounds like a lot of time together, but being apart for 3 months is going to be hard, depressing.

I hate being single, and with the past few years having been loveless and in a pretty negative relationship, the thought of being able to find a partner with whom there is mutual attraction once again, is certainly appealing. This would be tricky with kids. I'm not sure if this is selfish of me or not, but is something I thought about.

MikeyIdea thanks for giving me some perspective, you have exactly summarised my thoughts from the other side of the fence, and it is powerful.

We haven't actually discussed money yet as she's still in Thailand with the little one. I have no idea what a starting figure would be, or how much the schooling would cost. But I have a feeling she's going to expect a lot, even if it is just for the kids. She is a good Mum, intelligent, loves them dearly, breastfed them 1.5 years, doesn't drink/smoke, doesn't cheat or lie to me. They will be in Bangkok, so it will obviously cost more than some other places. I can afford it, but I don't think that's a good enough reason to agree to pay it, especially considering she's the one leaving me. I think she will earn decent money, her last salary (7-8 years ago) was 30,000/month, so in some ways that is a reason to pay more so I am not paying a stingy amount compared to her previous salary, and in some ways a reason to pay less as she could be earning more. She may have some difficulty getting back into workplaces after a long absence, but not my problem. It's not the money issue which really troubles me anyway (despite the title of my topic).

I would dearly love to go with my feelings, instinct, and logic - but none of them can agree. Anyway thanks for listening and it helps being able to write this stuff down and then reread it.

Fruit, the thing is u cant settle this with logic cause the matter is to complex, to many variables and ur to emotionally involved. So in terms of ur future with ur children, trust ur feelings!!! They are obvisoulsy very important to u.

The money matter is better settled with reason and doesnt have to be problematic at all, just provide enough, this is for care of the children and nothing else, u can be sure that 10000/m plus scholing is enough. School can be quite expensive but it all depends. Mother of my child just said "for 50000b per term our daugther can go to a really good school".

In a way the mother of ur children agreed to make a new life i a new country and i dont really see why u should have to take all the consequences when she wants out. Meaning, maybe u should prevent her from taking the children to thailand, shes acting in her best intresst so why shouldnt u do the same? Also if u let them go now u dont know how she will act in the future when circumstances change.

One scenario could be, that allthough the two of u separate, u keep the children in the ambient they are now comfortable with and the mother will have to adapt and make a new life for herself in ur country so the both of u can have contact with the children. That way u will also know where the money is going and u both can enjoy ur children. Wouldnt this be in the best itnresst of the children?

From ur story i think that might be the best solution for u and ur children, seeing that u actually have lots of time to spend with them and obviosuly also consider their best and have the finacial resources to provide and care for them.

U seem to be like me many western men, me included, softhearted from ur upbringing but the thais dont usually have much of this (in my opinion), they look simply to their best intresst without much remsorse or regret.

MikeyIdea is spot on it, stand up for ur rights!

Krap

"About supporting them i thailand, it could be anything in the range of about 3000bath per month and child (More or less the cost of raising a child in a low income thai familly) to what u can afford. We all have different ideas of livingstandard but at the bare minimum for food and chlothes that ought to be enough."

"20,000 per month + school is ridiculously high in my opinion. I (we, me and my wife) spend approx. 7,000 bath + education on our daughter and I admit it, I love her so much that I probably spoil her."

Did you get fired from your apprenticeships as clerks working for Uriah Heep?

Altough i i think Urah Heep was quite a good gruop i still dont get what u want to say? Spit it out pls.

Fist take maximum dose of Paracetamol ( Tylenol) wich is 1000mg 3-4 times per day, and at the same time 3 times daily 400mg ibuprofen. This should be the foundation. If not enough try adding 50mg tramadol morning and night, increase the dose slowly if needed to about 100mg max 3-4 times per day.

My thai wife of 5 years has now decided she wants a divorce, and to move back to Thailand with our 2 kids (1.5 & 3.5). I am 32, she is 33.

I am not particularly happy, and was considering legal options to keep the kids living here. I am still contemplating keeping 1 kid with me and letting the other go back with his Mum. I know that any outcome in our situation is going to be far from ideal, and someone is going to be left unhappy. In reality I will probably not go down that path however. I don't feel like my access to the kids (when I travel to LOS) would be an issue, which is a mitigating factor.

She only wants money for their education and expenses (which is fine by me), and she will get a job to cover her own expenses. She is well educated and can get a well paid job. Her family have high status but are not rich. She stays in a house in Bangkok. I bought her a car and small condo before.

So how much is adequate/reasonable to offer to support 2 kids? Should I make one monthly payment to cover all associated costs, or pay for their living costs and education costs separately? Surely as they grow up the schooling costs will increase? I was thinking to make a written agreement confirming everything with the kids/money, but then decided that this would benefit her a lot more than it would me?

I was thinking 20,000/month, + schooling costs, is this about right (for 2 kids)?

I am greatly attached to our older kid in particular, hence why I am contemplating trying to keep him here, but can't bear the thought of the 2 of us living alone in this house, and I'm not sure that I'm really cut out to be a solo-dad. And not sure if it is really a good idea for him to grow up with me, rather than with his mum and brother and all the other family in Thailand. The thought of them both growing up in Thai society makes me feel resentful. I am not sure if it's better to simply try and "start over" again with another lady, rather than being too hung up on the past. Will I regret allowing them all to leave here so easily? Will my boy hate me or be distant from me when he grows up? I don't work many hours, so I get to spend a lot of time together with my boy every day and it is going to be a real shock not having him around.

As you can probably tell, this is bit of a shock and I haven't quite come to terms with it all yet, am still confused.

If anyone can offer any thoughtful insight or ideas it would be appreciated.

//

I have lived trough the separation of my parents at a young age and the following "stepfather" experience. Its not a nice thing for children. Your children are quite young and i doubt if even ur oldest of 3,5y will remember much in the future would u disapear out of the picture now.

It would in my opinion be of benefit for them if u can manage to keep regular contact, the void of not knowing one of your parents and being able to relate to him is huge.

Boys generaly need their father more and more after the age of 6-7y, time passes quickly and ur sons development will benefit from ur prescence.

Remeber that children at this age cant speak for them self and dont expect them to come looking for you in the future if you dont keep contact. That might or might not happen, but there mother will get a new life and a new husband and that will be their life if u dont keep contact.

Mothers ofcourse generally care well for children of young age but are also very much capable of acting in their own best intresst not always putting the best of the children at first.

There is no reason why u should not consider ur own best as well as that of ur childrens.

About supporting them i thailand, it could be anything in the range of about 3000bath per month and child (More or less the cost of raising a child in a low income thai familly) to what u can afford. We all have different ideas of livingstandard but at the bare minimum for food and chlothes that ought to be enough.

Definetely 20000b/month plus school is a great offer and will most probably also support the mother. If you want to make sure the money goes to the children offer to pay for things directly such as school fees, hospital fees etc instead of sending money.

10000b/month (for 2) plus school fees would still be a very good offer in my opinion. Also remember that what you give now might set standard for a future childsupportclaim.

In complex issues like this trust your feelings and ask for legal advice when needed.

Wish you the best luck.

Many whiteskinned thai gils that i meet complain over the fact that farangs dont like them. Seems to be a market out there....

Having had both dark n lighter girls i confirm life is easier in some ways with the lighter, educated girl but everything has pros n cons.

I think you miss the point Krap

The way I read it, the father is making voluntary payments for the education of the child, the lady appears concerned that there is no legal back up should the father decide for whatever reason to discontinue the payments. Hence she is asking advice......some of the above would appear to be useful...yes?

Its a good point. Altough she said "I would like to have any comment of claiming for child support". Also she said she`s thinking of claiming childsupport. I agree should he stop paying she could try to get childsupport but why try to fix what is not broken especially if he is paying more than he has to as it is. Bad advice?

Yes you have a good point there too, except the very fact the question is being asked would indicate that perhaps what is not currently broken may well be pushed to breaking point in the future, thus a little pre planning is in order? Know and evaluate your options......

Absolutely nothing wrong with that. When evaluting these options one should also consider that childsupport is just that and is normally for covering the childs basic expenses such as food and chlothing. To wich also the mother should contribute. It is not intended for the mother or luxuries for the child and i doubt that private schooling would be covered.

Well folks,

looks like d-day has arrived, recieved a letter from the court today at my school that she took in. Im due in court next month, shes demanding 200k lump sum and also 15,000 a month for 20 years for the upkeep of my son. As I suspected her and her mum have plotted well and just trying to get as much as they can out of me..At the moment I pay 10k a month about 2500 a week and also my sons school.

I walked away from my marriage with just my clothes on my back and my computer. All the furniture left for her and my son.

Anyway I need to get in touch with a fairly decent lawyer that isnt going to cost me an arm and leg! Also they have obviously made me out to be a bad guy. I apparently threatened to kill them both. I strangled my ex and attacked her mother according to the documentation. As it happens my ex attacked me several times punching and kicking me and I restrained her. Ok I slapped her but she deserved it and also I never laid a hand her hand on her mother only shouted abuse at her for being such a horrible vicious cow.

I was actually looking at going back to the UKat the end of the month to renew my visa but have been told I have to get this sorted first. Is that right? Anyway im happy to go to court as she won't get what shes looking for! Im happy to support my son in any way but not to indulge her and her mother.

Anyway thanks for any helpful comments and advice...

Hope u get a fair deal. One should imgagine u allready paid a lot. Pls educate us about the court ruling, it would be tremendously illuminating in this area.

Goodluck!

I think you miss the point Krap

The way I read it, the father is making voluntary payments for the education of the child, the lady appears concerned that there is no legal back up should the father decide for whatever reason to discontinue the payments. Hence she is asking advice......some of the above would appear to be useful...yes?

Its a good point. Altough she said "I would like to have any comment of claiming for child support". Also she said she`s thinking of claiming childsupport. I agree should he stop paying she could try to get childsupport but why try to fix what is not broken especially if he is paying more than he has to as it is. Bad advice?

Thank you khun Sophon for your comment.

He work with the Danish worldwide company for cement industry. I assume he get above 70,000 DKK.

Actually right now he pays for the international school fee for my daughter and it is quite a lot, but he doesn't support for the daily expenses.

My concern is I feel it is not secured and there is nothing guarantee how long time he will pay for that and he always raises up the topic if I don't assist him to talk to his daugther, he would stop supporting. This is the reason why I am serching for the information.

Any more comment from you?

Why wouldnt u let him talk with his daughter? I think and agree as said that he has done his part by paying for the schooling (actually might be paying more than he has to) and u wont gain anything extra from childsupport.

Thanks for the quick response Mario. I am listed as the father. As far as I can tell, the mother is listed as the one registering the birth. (She signed it.)

Unfortunately you didn't leaglise the child, so now your only option is to petition the court to be recognised as the father. if the motehr doesn't contest that shouldn't be hard. if you plan to marry the mother in the near future, that would automatically legitimise the child under Thai law.

Does these circumstances mean he has to wait untill the child is about 7 years or he can petition the court earlier?

Seem strange that nobody seem to have firsthand knowledge about theese issues considering all the look krung in thailand. Someone should be able to tell what the conditons for thaichilsdupport are and if thaifathers really pay them and what happens to them if they dont.

Also if its possible to claim childsupport from another country for a thai child then there should be some people around who have that experience to share.

How much is thaichildsupport? How much could the mother get for the child should it be possible to claim it from his country?

Wouldnt it be thaat if the father in this thread pays for the school of the child anyway mean that hes supporting the child and that sum be deductable?

Maybe we look for whats different? In europe in the past i always found the darker girls attractive. The longer i staynin thai the more i find the lighter skin atractive. Even farang girls start to look intressting after a longer time here...Anyway id say dark girl good n nice especialy as gig but as a long time partner a white skin chineese style girl would bring bennefits in thailand.

If you are going to Penang and don't have tourist visas/extensions you could probably obtain a tourist visa free allowing a 60 day entry. You can always fly back from Penang and obtain a new 30 day visa exempt entry - the 15 day is for land/sea entry.

That eases my mind. I have some older tourist visas from my country and some extenstion at bkk imigratiom, but no visa run extensions.

Strange in a way they allow 30d via air and not land seing its quite cheap to fly theese days.

30 days extra will do the trick this time. Might get the free visa if available just in case i cant tear myself from the sweet fruites of this remarcable country.

Thanks

This time i choose to enter on a 30 day visa given at entry, planned to extend with 30 days in penang but now reading that you will only be given 15 days wich is a big problem since i allready changed the trip home...Does this 15 day extension limit only apply to border checkpoints and if u fly out u get 30 days on return? How to do? Have to leave in a few days.

The BC is filled out at the amphur and is soemthng different than the certificate from the hospital.

Thnxs, that explains it. What would the document from the hospital be called? Whats the timelimit for that paper...

Do u know anything about extension of the 15 days for b.c, for ex in the case some information is missing to make it clear. What is the minimum information that has to be on the b.c, for ex must nationality be included or is that only for the blue book? I remember u stated:

"You can check the birth certificate. A birth certificate lists four names:

- name of the child

- name of the mother

- name of the father

- name of the person registering the birth"

Only names and not nationallity? Where is it registered?

It is very easy to check if you have legitimised the child or not, if you have the birth certificate. A Thai birt certificate lists 4 names:

- name of child

- name of mother

- name of father

- name of person registering the child

If the name of the father is not the same as the person listed as having registered the child there is no legitimitisation.

This of course only applies for people not married to the mother. If you are married to the mother the law automatically presumes the husband is the father of the child, regardless of who registered the birth.

A little confused here. Is it on the b.c that the fahters singature should apear? I mean its said that not untill u register it at the amphur are u the legal father but the b.c is filled out in the hospital? At the hospital names are filled in and not until u go to the amphur do u finally sign the b.c? What weight does the "blue" book hold? In this case if first someone name was written on the b.c and then another man signs at the amphur...how is it possible for him to be the legal father as ur name should apear twice?