daizeez

hi, everyone...

if you have any suggestions of where to shop for fall/winter jackets in bangkok (cheap to mid-range prices), i would be entirely grateful. thanks!

i rarely feel the urge to post on this site, but i came across this thread and was completely moved.

are there ANY decent guys who understand the concepts of love, commitment, trust, and loyalty?

you wouldn't want your daughters, sisters or mothers to be treated in the ways that you treat or regard your own partners (though they are themselves daughters, sisters and mothers).

but thank heavens for those men who don't stray! mind you, their only discouragement from unselfishly indulging themselves is the threat of their wives finding out....and the resulting consequences.

not everything we want is good for us and good for our lives. we all have the ability to choose.

what a great thread! i've hardly been on this site since i moved here (2 years ago)! ...but i think i'll have to start lurking around this section more often.

i saw someone post this on the first page...

'Poo ying sooay dtair mai homm ( beautiful lady , but doesn't smell too good)

This is very insulting means good looking but VERY bad.'

i heard this phrase as...

สวยแต่รูบจูบไม่หอม-sooay dtay roop joop may hawm

does anyone know of somewhere i can go in bangkok to get a new hard drive and more memory installed into my laptop?

Once, I was quite desperate to find an internet cafe on the outskirts of Chiang Mai. I was in a rush, and I could find internet access anywhere! i went into a shop to ask where I could find a cafe, and a woman shoo-ed a young boy in my direction, talking to him in Thai(which I couldn't understand). The boy, about 12 years old, drove about 5 minutes with me on the back of his motorbike, taking me to a place with internet access. He didn't speak a word of English...He waited by my side while I quickly typed my message and drove me back to the shop afterwards. I tried to offer him some money, thanking him profusely, but he wouldn't accept. At the time, I was so surprised by their kindness because things like that just don't happen where I come from.

i've learned all the consonants/vowels already and frequently use a thai/english dictionary. i'm not in thailand right now, so i don't have many people to speak thai with. however, i can speak and understand a bit. mostly, though, i've been corresponding with someone in writing...i actually find learning to read and write fascinating! it's quickly turned into a hobby...never a chore!

i'm curious...i have the impression that judaism/christianity in the west has bred a strong sense of guilt into our culture. i think this guilt/conscience resides in many people, whether or not they consider themselves to be religious.

does anyone here have any thoughts or comments on how buddhism affects the conscience?

i know of one situation where the mother and father divorced, and the mother has now married another man and has a new family. the daughter from the first marriage is being raised by her grandmother, and gets the occasional visit by the parents.

another situation is where the son from a broken marriage is being raised by the father's mother.

seems to me, though, that thai people are onto something. maybe grandparents are in a better position(mentally, financially, and maturity-wise) to raise the children.

^^i agree. i heard it shows that a man doesn't have to work hard with his hands(like labour work).

1. HOW does he support himself- if he's running around the beaches and islands all the time, just how does he manage to eat/survive? If he has a REGULAR job where you can see him working, then fair enough. But here are some dodgy answers:

a. "My uncle/brother/sister/aunt/friend sends me money."

b. "I worked really hard in high school and saved up."

c. "I'm good at betting on football."

d. "I get money from the government."

2. Does he go off on sudden trips in Thailand (or elsewhere) with no real explanation? Points to consider:

a. Most "real" Thais who are working get to visit home maybe once or twice a year.

b. Almost no "real" Thais have relatives abroad sponsoring them to live in other countries for a few months.

3. Will he let you see his ATM account balance (why does he *have* an ATM balance, especially if no job?)

4. Will he let you see his email?

actually, none of these things apply to him. i know how he makes his money because i hear him talking w/ and taking orders from people at his bungalow. he doesn't have much money, tho, that's for sure. he rarely goes back to surat to visit his family, and i know where he is practically every minute of every day. he gave me his email password so i could help him send emails to some friends when he is too lazy to go to the internet cafe (plus, he said i can 'check up on him' by asking his tourist friends what he's up to when i'm not there ) he really wants me to know he's not fooling around while i'm gone.

I know guys there that love there girlfriends alot but when there girls are away they'll shag whoever they can(to them its "just" sex not love)

If your man is kind to people,not violent and loving to you,has never cheated on you and phones you that much,well...i think you've got a good one.Also for him to phone you every night,well thats soooo sweet....

ah, yes...but how do you know he's cheating on you if you're not there? i think it's a little easier to tell when you are around!

and if the girlfriend is gone for a long time...in a way, i wonder if i could blame him for having a shag or 2? i do think it's true, that there is a difference between 'just sex' and love. i think it's a different story if the guy is cheating on a girl who is there, or with him often.

anyone have any suggestions on how to tell if your guy is like the ones kitty is describing?

when i read all of this, i get so paranoid. i can say honestly, i haven't seen any signs that my guy could be like this, but sometimes i get really afraid. maybe there's no way to know until i am back in thailand and stay with him everyday.

now, we talk on the phone 2 times every day...he always answers when i call, no matter what time of day, and talks with me as long as i want. he calls me too, every night before he sleeps. i don't send him money...sometimes i send him little things like cd's i've burned, but that's about it. he seems truly genuine in his feelings, respectful, and sweet, not only to me, but to everyone around him(i've gotten to know a few of the tourist friends he's made). plus, when i met him, he didn't speak english very well...he said i was his first farang girlfriend, and it's made him want to learn english(reading and writing as well...he sends me letters in english and thai).

anyhow...just wondering if it's easy to spot these players....

Factor in cultural issues and taboos about this and it makes communication difficult.

.  The success of any serious relationship depends on the three C's: Commitment, the willingness to compromise and the ability to communicate.

well said! i'd have to agree! once one of these breaks down, things get very difficult and painful!

I like his Thainess & hope he doesn't become too westernised now we are in the UK

The different ideas & expectations as well as us both being quite stubborn meant that we had some amazing rows

do you mind me asking what types of things were the hardest for you, or what you 2 found difficult at first?

I was reading through the gay forum became quite interested in a particular thread about cultural differences. I'm curious...what are your experiences with Thai male/farang female relationships? Do you feel your man is similar to other Thai males, traditionally, culturally?

hello, everyone...

once a tourist visa(60 +30) expires, what are the requirements to obtain another tourist visa in a neighbouring country? also, i have read that after 3 back to back tourist visas, it may be required to leave thailand for 6 months before return. is this rule still being overlooked for the most part? finally, will i be required to show proof of my income on back to back tourist visas, or is it just as simple as getting a new stamp?

thanks in advance for your comments!

thanks everyone for your input

hi, all...

just wondering if anyone knows if a 2 year associates degree(available in canada, applying towards 1/2 of a bachelor's degree), can qualify me for a work permit?

also, is a degree required to apply for a work permit in any line of work, or only teaching english? thanks for any advice...

chok dee ka

i know what you mean about small towns...i grew up in one. i'm definitely glad i moved away, though. i love the anonymity that the big city provides.

i can't say i'm the kind of person to involve myself deeply in group dynamics, so i'm not particularily concerned. besides, i'm sure that not everyone is so shallow.

if i was the type to worry about what others think, i would definitely not be planning on moving to thailand!! can't say my friends are overly thrilled.

you're young enough that you can bounce back if all turns out to be exotic adventure, though let's hope it's more than that!

i think you're exactly right!

You also need to realise that there is a lot of gossip & stirring that affects island life (my husband & I lived on samui before moving to his village for a few months & then moving to the UK, so I know!) which can cause problems in a fledgling relationship, there not a lot to do on an island & gossip about a new relationship, is unfortunatly, a soure of amusment for some people So bear in mind, that some "good hearted" advice from "friends" is not always in your best interests.

...that's no good. definitely not the kind of thing or people i'm interested in.

i appreciate the positivity of your post, though. i'm definitely on a new adventure, that's for sure. no matter what happens, it's opening plenty of new doors!

well, to reply to crocs from the previous thread...

"How old are you and how old is beach guy ? Personally I think if your ages are not similar then you have to double the caution factor - especially if you are the elder one.

What are YOUR expecations in 5-10 years time, would you be happy living on a Thai island, would you expect to have some kind of career in Thailand, would you want to have the option of having him return to Canada with you. These expectaions are just as important an indicator as the guys true feelings.

Have you started learning Thai, for example, if not and you have 8 months I would suggest you should aim to become semi-conversational before then."

i am canadian, 26 years old. this guy is 29. as for my expectations...before i met him, i already knew i wanted to come back to thailand for awhile. eventually working would become a necessity. i have 6 years experience here at home in finance. teaching is always an option(which i'm sure i would enjoy much more than banking), so i have started to do volunteer esl tutoring work. i will get my tefl certificate either before i leave, or in thailand once i get there. i haven't decided yet. regardless, i know getting a legit teaching job might pose a problem considering i do not have a degree.

i may also have the ability to invest in a small business of some sort, though i'm not letting this guy know that.

i have been learning thai for 6 weeks...reading, writing, and speaking. i have met 2 people here in canada from thailand who are helping me with thai in exchange for help with english!

so far, this guy and i have kept in great contact...we talk on the phone every 3 days, and email almost every day. he has even recruited a couple of messengers(who live in my home town) staying at his bungalow to bring gifts back for me! i'm meeting one of them this weekend he seems so sincere, and every time i talk to him, i can hear his farang friends who are staying at the bungalow, as well as the other staff...commenting on how cute we are and saying hello.

i am keeping my eyes and ears open...but mostly, i'm thankful for the opportunity this has given me to expand my horizons...i've definitely started a new chapter in my life.

anyone who has read this terribly long post has my regards

Maybe an idea to start your own topic on this, as the thread started as a general question on Thai men. Keep us updated this is interesting ! !

hmmm...i guess i will start my own post. it's probably a good idea, in case anyone else has other things they want to talk about with regards to this topic...that way no one has to read about it if they really don't want to

i will comment on your post in the new thread....

Perhaps your guy is for real... perhaps he is not... but its better to find out for sure and sooner rather than later...

you're definitely right about that...

you must "ruu jai" your partner; pick up a book called heart talk by christopher moore; it helps learning the jai words to prevent some cross cultural mixups...

thanks for the advice...i'll take a look for the book! i'm trying to learn as much thai as i can...