daizeez

... just hope you take care of yourself and try to view things with an open mind.

i know. that's what i'm trying to do. i guess the old cliche is that this guy seems different. and it's worth it to me to find out. because if he is different, i think i'm very lucky to have met him. and if he is slime, he was very very good at fooling me. i'm definitely not a very trusting person by nature. it's just hard to see how a relationship is working out, and not trusting someone completely at the same time. as well, it's hard to not be able to communicate your feelings as in depth as if you both were completely fluent in a language.

he replied by saying he enjoys the freedom it gives him

The freedom to do what, Daizeez?

Sorry to be a bit sceptical again,...

good point.

By the way, sorry to interfere on "emotional" girl talk but on this one, I'm not sure girls have the best advice,...

you're definitely not interfering...i need to look at this situation from all perspectives right about now

thanks, inan;

you are right...i can't generalize. there are exceptions. as for his history with relationships, he has been with the same thai girl the last 4 years, but he says they were always fighting and angry. his friends didn't like her. i met her when i was there, as their relationship was just ending when i came into the picture. he says i am his first farang girl, though he had 2 flings with a girl from malaysian and one from japan a couple years ago when he worked a bar. he said things were on the rocks with his girlfriend back then, so maybe it's understandable he had the flings(?). i don't know.

8 months is a while to see what will happen between us. but i am prepared that after i go back in january for that month, if things go well, i am going to come home and make arrangements to leave canada to go back to thailand indefinitley. even if things don't work out with this guy, i know i need to stay there for a while. it definitely hooked me. i just really hope this guy is not taking me for a ride because my emotions are very much on the line.

thanks again for your ideas.

Were you attracted to a cute, relaxed, attractive, attentive, confident beach guy who gave you an inroad to the local culture? How would you feel about him if he turned up in your home city? Small, lost, poor and dependant on you for everything?

that's a really good point. now, i can say i would feel the same for him here as i would there, because of the way he is. however, i know he wouldn't be happy here. he definitely loves thailand.

thanks a lot for your post. how you've stated things is the way i usually look at the situation, until the doubt starts taking me for a ride, which it does frequently since i've arrived home. just second guessing myself, and not wanting to look like a fool or get hurt by this guy.

thanks everyone for your advice. it's good to hear some words from people who are actually familiar with the situation. as you can imagine, everyone back here at home thinks i've absolutely lost my mind. no matter what, i know i'mm taking a huge risk. i just wish i knew how to tell if he is being sincere, or just wondering what i can offer him in his life. he seems to love me so much, so quickly, and wants me to come stay in thailand a long time. he tells me, anything i want, he'll do. we had a conversation one night about his job being small money, and i asked him why he works there. he replied by saying he enjoys the freedom it gives him, but asked me if i wanted him to look for a new job.

no matter what, i know it's a risk. now, i'm basically working towards my next holiday in january when i will spend one more month with him. that's still not long enough to see how things will be tho. i guess i just have to take it one day at a time.

my main question was i guess, do you all feel that just because a man works at a job like that, in a place like samui, he is going to be slime?

hi, all..

i'm new to this forum, and i am desperately searching for some advice. if anyone has some input, i would be very grateful for the opinion. i recently went on a trip to thailand, and stayed for one month. when i was in samui, i met a guy that i fell absolutely head of heels for. unfortunately, he is the beach boy type that everyone would say to be careful of. he works at the bungalow i stayed at. he is definitely not a higher class thai citizen by any standard. his job is very easy, and he was able to spend a lot of time with me when i was there. he actually came with me on the last part of my journey to krabi.

now, we are keeping in touch, and he wants me to come back for a long time. there is a language barrier, but i am quickly trying to learn thai, and his english is also improving. but the language difference makes it harder to talk about things that are more in depth. in this way, it's hard to 'hear' or see those indicators when a person is lying, or manipulating. he just comes across as amazingly sweet, sensitive and sincere.

i am having a hard time trusting the situation, not becuase he has given me any reason to doubt him...in fact, just the opposite. i am doubting it because of how it looks on the outside. this man did not approach me for a relationship...he was in the process of ending a long relationship with a local girl. he seems to be genuine, and to care about me very much.

no matter what happens, tho, i know my money is big money in thailand. and i know his goal is to own a shop some day. so i don't know how much of a factor my money could be in his deciding to fall for me. but can you really pretend love like that?

i am definitely considerig coming to thailand for a longer period of time to test the waters with this guy. but i know i am taking a huge risk.

if you have actually read my entire post, thank you...i know i'm probably too wordy for my own good