Sports Books At Bookazine, Royal Garden

[Weho]

I recently went into the Bookazine, at the Royal Garden. I joined their "club" for 200 baht, which gives me the amazing discount of 5% off, or 10% off on Mondays, or 15% off my birthday. Since I was born in a "leap year", I don't get to take advantage of that discount often... but in any event, I am a member, in good standing, of their club. They don't tell you when you join that they also give you two 100 baht discount coupons, to offset the membership fee. We have monthly meetings with other members, and we all have a good time.

But, I am troubled at the HUGE selection of sports AUTO-biography books they have... there are DOZENS... mostly written, or co-authored by British soccer players.

Now what the frick does a soccer player have to say, about anything, really ANYTHING, including soccer? I mean, do I want to know what a soccer player has to say about, say the Iraq war, or how to wear sweats? And how can they fill an entire book? I couldn't bring myself up to actually opening one up and looking at a table of contents... but really, what could they possibly have to say?

So I've decided, right here, in this message, to write my own book, in its entirerty, as if I were a British soccer player. Here is my book (in full):

Chapter 1: I was good at soccer as a kid

Chapter 2: I became a professional. I made a lot of money, and got a lot of tattoos.

Chapter 3: The end.

(and the above includes ALL of the text of the book, including the chapter titles)...

That's it... what more could they have to say? Oh I suppose in chapter 2, you could add some text like, "I married a pop star", but let's not forget that the "target audience" probably doesn't want to read that much.

[threelegcowboy]

Well Mr WeHo,

Glad you are back from your vacation or ?

Now about this book. I think you got something here. I am sure your fans would back you doing a book. Let me guess...not much written content but the pictures make up the bulk.

[Weho]

You are right, these sports biography "books" have lots of pictures... but how many different poses of some guy kicking a soccer ball must I look at?

I tried a rewrite on chapter 2, but I couldn't come up with any more text. Would anyone of you Brits spend 15 pounds or quid or euros of whatever the hel_l you people use for money, on such a book?

These books remind me of some Hollywood child star, I forget who, but they were like 12 years, a few years back... and they wrote their autobiography. Now how much could have happened by 12? How much heartbreak? How much pain?

I will add an additional chapter for David Beckham:

Chapter 4: My irritating speaking voice, a.k.a. "why my handlers and P.R. people keep telling me to shut my mouth".

Chapter 5: The End.

[libya 115]

I have been a member of that 'club' for about six years. I joined by spending 3,000 baht on books and then received a plastic membership card.

Over the years the 5% has added up and the Monday 10% is a good deal, so I get all my magazines on that day and only buy books on a Monday.

I keep missing out on the birthday discount though; although they do send me a birthday card.

Plus once I got a personal email direct from the manager telling me what a good customer I was; and that he was recommending me for a Thai resident visa......(only joking).............

[markr]

Please dont slate david beckham or football players in general, you are dabbling in a field you have no understanding of weho!

Your from Amerigay aren't you ?

[Humphrey Bear]

Weho - what is even more amazing is that a hooligan soccer fan, accused of organising fights and assaults related to either soccer or racism, arrested, cleared - could write a book about HIS experiences and from the proceeds, plus other money, open a bar in Pattaya.

But it happened - although I believe the bar is now under other ownership.

[Humphrey Bear]

David Beckham is Essex Man personified.

You'll upset a lot of TV readers if you knock him. He's more popular than OJ was before he didn't kill his wife and her 'friend'. Or Michael Jackson Jordan before AIDS.

(Sorry, the other one hasn't admitted it yet)

[Humphrey Bear]

Hey, Libya.

See you're reading this thread. What's life like?

I'm at work, no air-con, no real work, just browsing.

You should be at work too. Back to the grindstone!

[rambler]

I recently went into the Bookazine, at the Royal Garden. I joined their "club" for 200 baht, which gives me the amazing discount of 5% off, or 10% off on Mondays, or 15% off my birthday. Since I was born in a "leap year", I don't get to take advantage of that discount often... but in any event, I am a member, in good standing, of their club. They don't tell you when you join that they also give you two 100 baht discount coupons, to offset the membership fee. We have monthly meetings with other members, and we all have a good time.

But, I am troubled at the HUGE selection of sports AUTO-biography books they have... there are DOZENS... mostly written, or co-authored by British soccer players.

Now what the frick does a soccer player have to say, about anything, really ANYTHING, including soccer? I mean, do I want to know what a soccer player has to say about, say the Iraq war, or how to wear sweats? And how can they fill an entire book? I couldn't bring myself up to actually opening one up and looking at a table of contents... but really, what could they possibly have to say?

So I've decided, right here, in this message, to write my own book, in its entirerty, as if I were a British soccer player. Here is my book (in full):

Chapter 1: I was good at soccer as a kid

Chapter 2: I became a professional. I made a lot of money, and got a lot of tattoos.

Chapter 3: The end.

(and the above includes ALL of the text of the book, including the chapter titles)...

That's it... what more could they have to say? Oh I suppose in chapter 2, you could add some text like, "I married a pop star", but let's not forget that the "target audience" probably doesn't want to read that much.

GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK WEHO THE FORUM HAS MISSED YOUR EEER YOUR STYLE. RAMBLER X

[bowthai]

David Beckham is Essex Man personified.

You'll upset a lot of TV readers if you knock him. He's more popular than OJ was before he didn't kill his wife and her 'friend'. Or Michael Jackson Jordan before AIDS.

(Sorry, the other one hasn't admitted it yet)

it was la laker magic johnson who admitted to being hiv+ not the chicago bulls michael jordan.and wacko jacko is too weird to have sex with a human.

unauthorized biographies are the only ones worth reading as autobiographies are just ego-stroking odes to themselves.

[Humphrey Bear]

I stand corrected.

Don't follow basketball, and all these 7ft tall guys confuse me - why aren't they playing second row in a proper sport?

[Weho]

1. The Bookazine club works differently now... you pay 200 baht to be a member for a year... and they give you two 100 baht off coupons right away... but they don't bother TELLING you, when you're contemplating being a member, that you get the two coupons.

2. My thread was about SPORTS figures, not just soccer/football. I don't know much about David Beckham (sp.?), other than he's married to someone with big fake boobs, and now goes around pretending to be instant "best friends" with Tom Cruise and his nutty wife. I also know that he almost never says anything, probably with good reason, and when he does speak, it's usually something really dumb and bland like, "I love living in L.A.", or "I'm hoping my team wins"... etc. I also know that soccer/football will never work in Amerigay, cause it's just too boring for Amerigayians, and they just don't care what the rest of the world likes to watch/play. I also read somewhere that David Beckham, statistically speaking, almost never scores goals, but is still considered some great player. Maybe he still is good, I don't know why, and I don't care enough to want to know why.

I don't find sports figures interesting at all. I find singers, actors, politicians more interesting. That's just me. And I truly don't understand why anyone would want to "read" a book by/about one of them. And if David Beckham has ever uttered something interesting or clever, please let me know. I admit I don't listen, so maybe he has... I just haven't heard it. Plus, I can't wait for the divorce.

3. I don't know about any alledged hooligan bar owner, but if he WAS "cleared", as was suggested, they should be allowed to live freely and open whatever bar they want. I trust they don't force anyone to go into their bar. If they are breaking any Thai laws, it's up to them to investigate/charge. I believe in "innocent until proven guilty", or whatever the local law dictates.

4. I don't know what an "Essex Man" is... don't know where it is either... sounds like somewhere in the U.K. I know the Essex Hotel in Manhattan, used to be a Marriott hotel.

5. I would like to add that some American baseball player recently got more "home runs" than the previous record holder, I think "Babe Ruth"... and was alledged to use steroids... probably true, from what I've read... But even if the guy didn't take steroids, let's not forget that when this "Babe Ruth" played, 100 years ago, or whatever, they didn't allow "African Americans" to play, so he was ONLY compeating against other Caucasoid players. Not really fair either. So who's really the best? Who really cares.

[Ulysses G.]

Yes, and how do you feel about people with tatooes?

[Weho]

Yes, and how do you feel about people with tatooes?

Hate 'em! And these woman that get all these tattoos... what are they going to look like when they turn like 60, or 70?

Yech!

And these sports players are usually such nitwits, and fall so easily into peer pressure, they get lots of tattoos.

The ONE AND ONLY tattoo that I am o.k. with is some lady that had I think triplets, and they put a little tattoo dot or two, or three, underneath one toe from each of the babies, so they could identify which was was which. That made sense to me.

Of course I'm in favor of doing whatever you want to yourself... I just personally find it repulsive, and others no doubt will disagree.

[chuckd]

Weho:

Just a quickie personal comment.

Unless you were born on 29 February, being born in a leap year has no significance on the number of birthdays you will encounter.

Now, I am not trying to be nit-picky and I hope you can explain the reasoning behind your statement. Even if you were born on 29 February, you will still be one year older each and every 1 March.

[Weho]

Weho:

Just a quickie personal comment.

Unless you were born on 29 February, being born in a leap year has no significance on the number of birthdays you will encounter.

Now, I am not trying to be nit-picky and I hope you can explain the reasoning behind your statement. Even if you were born on 29 February, you will still be one year older each and every 1 March.

You are correct. I admit I could have been clearer... I WAS born on a February 29. A leap day, in a leap year. I can only imagine if I wander into Bookazine on February 28, they will have a staff meeting with like 10 employees, tell me, "wait a minute", then pick up the phone, and call like ten different departments at Headquarters, then tell me "come back tomorrow", meaning March 1. Then I'll go back on March 1, and they will say, "sorry, no can do, you no come on February 29".

Everything happens to me. I'm so tortured.

Edited August 22, 2007 by Weho

[Humphrey Bear]

So, you're like - a forty-year-old guy whose had ten birthdays?

I'm beginning to understand this.

And I'm very worried.

[goldfish]

Everything happens to me. I'm so tortured.

Another classic Weho quote

[eljeque]

Weho,

As I am sure that your answer to this question will be far more enjoyable than any other posters',I am directing this your way.

What do you say to the employees of any store or restaurant, when you request/order something, and they respond with "One?"

It does not matter if it is McDonald's for a large iced tea, Carrefour for an electric water heater, Au Bon Pain for pastries, or even for larger purchases. The likelihood of not requesting "one" is extremely low, but they still ask if you would like "One?" Wouldn't they expect that you would ask for , say...... two? if you wanted two? My girlfriend tells me it is very simply "automatic"

I thank you in advance for your reply.

[Weho]

Weho,

As I am sure that your answer to this question will be far more enjoyable than any other posters',I am directing this your way.

What do you say to the employees of any store or restaurant, when you request/order something, and they respond with "One?"

It does not matter if it is McDonald's for a large iced tea, Carrefour for an electric water heater, Au Bon Pain for pastries, or even for larger purchases. The likelihood of not requesting "one" is extremely low, but they still ask if you would like "One?" Wouldn't they expect that you would ask for , say...... two? if you wanted two? My girlfriend tells me it is very simply "automatic"

I thank you in advance for your reply.

I haven't really noticed this phenomena, but I will be on the look out for it. But I can't imagine if someone went into say a Boots pharmacy, and asked for en "E.P.T.", early pregnancy test, and the white-coated woman would ask, "only one???"

Then the guy would say, "oh, you're right... i knocked up 3 hookers this week... give me two more..."

Or perhaps if you're at Bookazine, buying a birthday card that says something like, "Happy 50th Birthday to my wife"... I mean, how many of those could you possibly need?

[eljeque]

Keep your ears in tune for this, and you will notice the number of times that the response "One" comes up. It is really quite extraordinary. It used to bother me, but my gf has taught me to ignore it...."automatic"