Funniest Joke Contender

[ratchabuild]

A friend of mine was charged with assualt on a girl in a pharmacists, that is until the facts came out.

His name is Joe and he's from the maldive islands. He started at university recently and joined the potholing club. All new members have the piss taken and he was no exception. The chemists at the corner is where they all buy their condoms and "BIG MAX"

brand is a favourite. They told him he needed a thermos for the caving and he should go into the chemist and ask for a BIG MAX. So Joe goes in

Pretty young lady assistant; "What can I do for you?"

Joe says, "I'd like a BIG MAX please."

The girl smiles and says "Of course" and turns away, Joe interrupts her with "You have to make sure its a big one please" he calls out.

"A big one," says the girl colouring up

"It should be at least 15 inches" says Joe, " It needs to hold at least a litre because once I'm inside I could stay up to a week"

The girl staggers a little and says "Phew that sounds, amazing, but frightening too, you should.... take a picture"

"Oh" says Joe, "I've only got this old thing, nothing special, I'll just whip out my brownie..."

Thats when the girl falls and hits her head

Edited September 21, 2007 by ratchabuild

[lazeeboy]

A friend of mine was charged with assualt on a girl in a pharmacists, that is until the facts came out.

His name is Joe and he's from the maldive islands. He started at university recently and joined the potholing club. All new members have the piss taken and he was no exception. The chemists at the corner is where they all buy their condoms and "BIG MAX"

brand is a favourite. They told him he needed a thermos for the caving and he should go into the chemist and ask for a BIG MAX. So Joe goes in

Pretty young lady assistant; "What can I do for you?"

Joe says, "I'd like a BIG MAX please."

The girl smiles and says "Of course" and turns away, Joe interrupts her with "You have to make sure its a big one please" he calls out.

"A big one," says the girl colouring up

"It should be at least 15 inches" says Joe, " It needs to hold at least a litre because once I'm inside I could stay up to a week"

The girl staggers a little and says "Phew that sounds, amazing, but frightening too, you should.... take a picture"

"Oh" says Joe, "I've only got this old thing, nothing special, I'll just whip out my brownie..."

Thats when the girl falls and hits her head

[zzdocxx]

Me too.

But it reminds me of this one:

A guy who owns a sex-toys shop has to run out and do some errands, so he asks his girlfriend to cover for him for an hour.

While he is gone, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead come into the store.

The brunette says, "I'll take that pink dildo!"

The redhead says, "Ooh, I'll take that big black one!"

The blonde says, "I'll take the plaid one!"

When the guy comes back, he says, "Thanks honey, how did things go?"

She replies, "Great, I sold two dildos and your thermos!"

(sure this one has probably been posted before)

[lazeeboy]

Me too.

But it reminds me of this one:

A guy who owns a sex-toys shop has to run out and do some errands, so he asks his girlfriend to cover for him for an hour.

While he is gone, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead come into the store.

The brunette says, "I'll take that pink dildo!"

The redhead says, "Ooh, I'll take that big black one!"

The blonde says, "I'll take the plaid one!"

When the guy comes back, he says, "Thanks honey, how did things go?"

She replies, "Great, I sold two dildos and your thermos!"

(sure this one has probably been posted before)

much better

[B Fuddled]

A friend of mine was charged with assualt on a girl in a pharmacists, that is until the facts came out.

His name is Joe and he's from the maldive islands. He started at university recently and joined the potholing club. All new members have the piss taken and he was no exception. The chemists at the corner is where they all buy their condoms and "BIG MAX"

brand is a favourite. They told him he needed a thermos for the caving and he should go into the chemist and ask for a BIG MAX. So Joe goes in

Pretty young lady assistant; "What can I do for you?"

Joe says, "I'd like a BIG MAX please."

The girl smiles and says "Of course" and turns away, Joe interrupts her with "You have to make sure its a big one please" he calls out.

"A big one," says the girl colouring up

"It should be at least 15 inches" says Joe, " It needs to hold at least a litre because once I'm inside I could stay up to a week"

The girl staggers a little and says "Phew that sounds, amazing, but frightening too, you should.... take a picture"

"Oh" says Joe, "I've only got this old thing, nothing special, I'll just whip out my brownie..."

Thats when the girl falls and hits her head

Didn't see that one coming. You're on a roll Ratch. Got any more?

Edited September 22, 2007 by FuddlersFick