Miss Or Mrs

[huggybear]

I can not speak on behalf of women in Thailand, or any woman for that matter, but this is what I understand:

Miss=single

Mrs=married

Ms=divorced

Mr=Mr

So I believe some people think it is not right that a woman has to be labeled according to her marriage status, or constantly needing to declare it

There is now a movement in the west to have all women as Ms.

This is just my understanding of the issue.

I made a mistake and a lady that made it clear in her signature to me with a (Ms.) after her name, implied to me that she was open to an offer...........

When I suggested we get together for a drink, she said, sorry I'm married........?????

[mssabai]

I totally agree that the question of address usually becomes a bigger issue for unmarried mothers. Using your own surname and Mrs is very odd, but Miss also has a weird feel, like you would not be old enough to be a mother. My mum used Ms mainly for these reasons (though knowing my mother she probably would have kept it married or not) and I have carried on using it - proudly ticking the Ms box at aged 11!

Still in Thailand I must say that what offends me more than Miss or Mrs is Sir. How many times have ladies here been called Sir? Hmmm.

[thithi]

thai women think being Mrs. sounds mature tho some of them r 30 something and divorced. then it would be unfair to them that they still have to be Mrs. cos Thai guys may not accept them as they got married befor ... some of thai guys think NOT being virgin bfor marry is a crime !

for the women who r married but want to be Miss [ nang sao ] ... again they dnt want others think they are mature.

[thithi]

I totally agree that the question of address usually becomes a bigger issue for unmarried mothers. Using your own surname and Mrs is very odd, but Miss also has a weird feel, like you would not be old enough to be a mother. My mum used Ms mainly for these reasons (though knowing my mother she probably would have kept it married or not) and I have carried on using it - proudly ticking the Ms box at aged 11!

Still in Thailand I must say that what offends me more than Miss or Mrs is Sir. How many times have ladies here been called Sir? Hmmm.

most of thai ppl who dnt know Eng would call u Sir as they think it's polite word. cos lotsa the word Sir in the movie r translated as "Tan" and u may know that we dnt have the pronoun by gender m/f so Tan can be both M and F. . .that's what they understand.

so please dnt think that they offend u, feel free na ka

[mssabai]

I totally agree that the question of address usually becomes a bigger issue for unmarried mothers. Using your own surname and Mrs is very odd, but Miss also has a weird feel, like you would not be old enough to be a mother. My mum used Ms mainly for these reasons (though knowing my mother she probably would have kept it married or not) and I have carried on using it - proudly ticking the Ms box at aged 11!

Still in Thailand I must say that what offends me more than Miss or Mrs is Sir. How many times have ladies here been called Sir? Hmmm.

most of thai ppl who dnt know Eng would call u Sir as they think it's polite word. cos lotsa the word Sir in the movie r translated as "Tan" and u may know that we dnt have the pronoun by gender m/f so Tan can be both M and F. . .that's what they understand.

so please dnt think that they offend u, feel free na ka

Yeah I guessed why - their polite address isn't gender oriented (Tan / Khun). It still sucks to be called Sir as a girl though. Don't worry though I don't get angry! I have actually just remembered the French Madame/Madameoiselle is only related to your age. That works for me.

[Misty]

It still sucks to be called Sir as a girl though.

Reminds me of stories about the US military. A male officer is addressed by subordinates as "Sir" and a female officer as "Ma'am." But since maybe 90% of the officers are male, it's not uncommon for a young soldier (male OR female)--to pop off with an automatic "Yes, Sir!" when answering a female officer.

Supposedly the female officer's response is something along the lines of: "Do I look like a Sir to you?!"

Hopefully the young soldier thinks carefully before emitting another pop off answer...

[mssabai]

It still sucks to be called Sir as a girl though.

Reminds me of stories about the US military. A male officer is addressed by subordinates as "Sir" and a female officer as "Ma'am." But since maybe 90% of the officers are male, it's not uncommon for a young soldier (male OR female)--to pop off with an automatic "Yes, Sir!" when answering a female officer.

Supposedly the female officer's response is something along the lines of: "Do I look like a Sir to you?!"

Hopefully the young soldier thinks carefully before emitting another pop off answer...

My god you have just reminded me of something...I went to a rather posh school where male teachers were called Sir. Female teachers though were not to be called Miss, but Miss or Mrs and their name. We were therefore very used to saying Sir and I am sure there was more than one occasion when I accidentally said it to a female teacher. Obviously this is my karmic retribution! Grr.

[Misty]

My god you have just reminded me of something...I went to a rather posh school where male teachers were called Sir. Female teachers though were not to be called Miss, but Miss or Mrs and their name. We were therefore very used to saying Sir and I am sure there was more than one occasion when I accidentally said it to a female teacher. Obviously this is my karmic retribution! Grr.

It is interesting how different languages use gender. Thai makes a distinction in sex in the polite term "kha" or "khrap" at the end of the speakers sentence, but not in the way you address someone else-- or at least not with "Khun" and "Tan." Some languages require not just the people, but every noun to have a "gender" ... Wonder how these two variations came about?

From the movie Aliens:

Hudson (male space-marine): Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

Vasquez (female space-marine): No, have you?

[thithi]

ppppppffffffff .. thought u got mad or something...

anyway it's nice to know that u dont!

[bggg]

Here's my 2 cents worth. Went by Ms. for 25 years, had 1 child (not married) then had 2 with my now hubby, so 1st daughter had my last name, 2nd 2 had mine and Dad's (no hyphen), then 10 years later we got married so...... oldest daughter has my last name 2 younger have both of our names????? I chose to add his to the end of my name. Now I use whatever fits the moment. I am Mrs. whichever last name at school. Ms. maiden name on legals (didn't want to bother changing any paperwork. Funny thing is occasionally the school sends papers that show Mr. my hubby 1st name + my maiden name, and Mrs. my 1st name and my DH's last name. One business in town refers to me as Mrs. my DH's 1st name?????? Its all kind of amusing.

Edited July 5, 2008 by bggg

[phitsanulokjon]

The changes are a step forward for feminism in Thailand giving the lady a choice but also it removes a legal/administrative loophole.

Under Thai law a divorced woman still had to be known as Mrs even though she can revert back to her maiden name and get a new id card etc.

I experienced this when I married my wife (who was a divorcee) - supporting paperwork for our marriage certificate was refused at the Amphur because on just one document she had been referred to as Miss !!

We had to get the document changed and countersigned before our registration was completed !!

I'm sure most women are pleased to have the choice and many do change particularly if their divorce was an acrimonious one.