Motives For Not Having Children

[ScienceGuy]

I'm having a kid because my body told me to(sex drive). Fortunately I'm married to a great woman so that will make it much easier. As for my psychological reasons, I think it will be fun to impart all of my dreams, hopes, aspirations, knowledge, etc. to a "mini-me". hehe The fact that it's a boy is a bonus as he will have the genes on the Y chromosome to boot.

For my wife, she's always wanted a baby. It's like a rite-of-passage in her culture. Any man will do as long as they're married. The richer, the better. If there's love, even better. If the two like each other, hey great! Her parents also gave her a lot of pressure to have a child because they want a grand-baby. Psychologically, I think she wants a girl so she can teach her all the girly things but having a boy is a big status thing in her family.

I wouldn't mind having another child as a backup in case one dies, but I doubt I can afford it so I'm waiting until I get more income. After 2 kids I'll probably go the vasectomy route. I wouldn't mind donating sperm to those women that want a child with light skin but not a husband.

[Crash999]

I wouldn't mind having another child as a backup in case one dies, but I doubt I can afford it so I'm waiting until I get more income.

I've heard a lot of reasons for having kids but this is the first time I've heard of having one as a 'backup'.

Sounds like a spare hard drive.

[Dakhar]

Due some simple health issues, the wife and I thought we could not have kids. So the first 4 years of our marriage was FAN F'n Tastic.... then OOOPS we got pregnant....

Oh welll make the best of things.

[HorseDoctor]

Labour

[AlexLah]

I do not want children because they are smelly, cry and scream a lot, and cost a lot of money.

[Gravelrash]

I do not want children because they are smelly, cry and scream a lot, and cost a lot of money.

Mmm, a deep and well considered insight indeed.

[jkinbkk]

1: If she already has children from a previous marriage any new children will get everything leaving her children with no inheritance. (seen this happen myself with they lady's son being kicked out of the house)

2: She is waiting to meet a wealthier man then ditch her current husband.

3: If married to a falang she may have a Thai husband in the background and is waiting to bleed the falang dry.

4: She doesn't love her husband so will not have his children.

Wait a minute this is not normal Thai women - I think you're talking about Isarn women who went down to Pattaya to find their victim. Don't tar all Thai women with the same brush.

So you are 'tarring all Isaan women in Pattaya' with the same brush?

You did not think that one through did you!

Never mind you are not alone. I have seen some other 'half wit, pea brained responses' to this thread about children being 'smelly'!

[Koo82]

I wouldn't mind having another child as a backup in case one dies, but I doubt I can afford it so I'm waiting until I get more income.

I've heard a lot of reasons for having kids but this is the first time I've heard of having one as a 'backup'.

Sounds like a spare hard drive.

It's not strange. We have had a daughter and a son but decided to have one "backup" just in case (aka the son dies) . So lucky the 3rd one is a he.

[Swanky]

Not everyone feels the need to reproduce. Some people should be just left infertile at birth.

[HorseDoctor]

Nine months of pregnancy is a good reason not to have children .

Thank Stars for abortion !!!

And I agree with the smelly remark, (though one doesn't have to use diapers for so liong it is quite possible to train children to let you know when they need to move bowels..and such .) But baby turds ,Yech.

And infants do look like little aliens, or worms with big heads ...Actually kinda gross me out .

Once they get to be toddlers though, and have some personality then they get cute

[HorseDoctor]

I wouldn't mind having another child as a backup in case one dies, but I doubt I can afford it so I'm waiting until I get more income.

I've heard a lot of reasons for having kids but this is the first time I've heard of having one as a 'backup'.

Sounds like a spare hard drive.

It's not strange. We have had a daughter and a son but decided to have one "backup" just in case (aka the son dies) . So lucky the 3rd one is a he.

So you consider male children more valuable?

But daughters can marry " Falong" and support the family honorably through marrying a man she doesn't love. Isn't that just as good? Maybe even better?

(btw aka means Also Known As .. I think you mean I.E , the son dies. abbreviations for latin words that mean for example )

[kmart]

I wouldn't mind having another child as a backup in case one dies, but I doubt I can afford it so I'm waiting until I get more income.

I've heard a lot of reasons for having kids but this is the first time I've heard of having one as a 'backup'.

Sounds like a spare hard drive.

It's not strange. We have had a daughter and a son but decided to have one "backup" just in case (aka the son dies) . So lucky the 3rd one is a he.

Its nice to have a backup kid in case your other one can't be re-booted after a nasty virus or something...

Fail. Maybe real time "parenting" should be put on the back-burner until you develop a soul...?

Edited November 10, 2008 by kmart

[HorseDoctor]

I was having a chat with my wife while visiting here village about childless couples. I was asking about relative young Farangs who wanted kids but the wife refused or lied about a physical problem. She said some interesting things about why some Thai women refuse to have children with their spouses but also said that it included with Thai husbands as well not just a Thai + Falang union.

1: If she already has children from a previous marriage any new children will get everything leaving her children with no inheritance. (seen this happen myself with they lady's son being kicked out of the house)

2: She is waiting to meet a wealthier man then ditch her current husband.

3: If married to a falang she may have a Thai husband in the background and is waiting to bleed the falang dry.

4: She doesn't love her husband so will not have his children.

What was more interesting was how she knows this, she said the women chat openly about there reasons. I was surprised as loose lips sink ships, they don't seem to worry that their spouses might find out.

So is this an indication that Thai/falang and Thai/thai couples with children have wives who are in it for the long haul thus have a better chance at the relationship lasting?

Has anyone else experienced this or is it just a trend in our area?

My wife says the same thing too!

In her town there is tremendous pressure for daughters to marry farangs.

When one of them drags a Farang back the whole town cheers her on.

When my wife (then g/f) took me back to her town, people would be at her family restaurant congratulating her because they thought she was now rich!

There is one lost Farang soul wandering around her town, I've seen him a few times and had a beer with him once when he called me over to a road side bar.

He is a Swiss guy in his mid 50s, married to a local woman, all he does is sit on the street and drink beer all day.

My wife told me he has spent a fortune on his wifes family...houses, a business that went sour, all depts paid...etc etc but the whole village knows he is been taken for a ride!

His wife openly brags about the whole deception, and again...she is admired by the whole town.

I can't help but feel sorry for him every time I see him.

And Thai woman are the best," exquisite " above and beyond....

THis is called Gold Digging and is akin to prostitution. Not to denegrate prostitutes though, at least they have some honor in that it is a service and there's no BS or two facedness.

Yes Amazing Thailand

[torrenova]

I got to my mid 30's and had no kids. I didn't want any. However I didn't get the snip for the reason that if I was in a long term relationship with a Thai woman, who would usually be somewhat my junior and childless, then I could be faced with losing her to her desire to reproduce.

That is fact, not fiction. My ex hitched up with someone she does not love because she could not wait any longer for me to leave my girl (we were no longer involved) but she is only 25. However she considers it "her time" and she is afraid of being left on the shelf. A reasonable offer is better than no offer so to speak.

My girl got pregnant without my being involved in the decision making process and I will always feel that it was not completely accidental. My only hope is to never let the baby feel that she was not wanted. She is loved but she did come at completely the wrong time. However, I don't think there would ever have been a right time.

A friend of mine has a beautiful wife who is unable to have kids (he has his already and grown up) and I think that is a perfect solution. It would have been my preferred solution.

[bkkjames]

Nine months of pregnancy is a good reason not to have children .

Thank Stars for abortion !!!

And I agree with the smelly remark, (though one doesn't have to use diapers for so liong it is quite possible to train children to let you know when they need to move bowels..and such .) But baby turds ,Yech.

And infants do look like little aliens, or worms with big heads ...Actually kinda gross me out .

Once they get to be toddlers though, and have some personality then they get cute

I guess you are happy that your little mommy didn't abort you.

[MiG16]

just gonna put up a general reminder for all to keep the discussion civil and refrain from nasty comments

and of course, stay on topic please.

cheers

[thesunset75]

I have son from my former marriage (American), now my bf and I agreed not to have more kid.

For my own reason -- to be pregant isnt that comfy and its take 40 weeks !!!!

Due to citizenship and all the problem, so we have a good choice now and give all the love to my son.

[F1fanatic]

"But daughters can marry " Falong" and support the family honorably through marrying a man she doesn't love. Isn't that just as good? Maybe even better?"

This is something I've been wondering about for a while now. How will all those farang men with daughters feel when she turns up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

[thesunset75]

"But daughters can marry " Falong" and support the family honorably through marrying a man she doesn't love. Isn't that just as good? Maybe even better?"

This is something I've been wondering about for a while now. How will all those farang men with daughters feel when she turns up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

woman all over world were married / devoced for money

[F1fanatic]

"But daughters can marry " Falong" and support the family honorably through marrying a man she doesn't love. Isn't that just as good? Maybe even better?"

This is something I've been wondering about for a while now. How will all those farang men with daughters feel when she turns up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

woman all over world were married / devoced for money

To a certain extent, but I repeat the question - how will the farang man feel when their daughters turn up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

Sorry to be unsubtle, but it's v rare in Western society for a young woman to get involved with an old man unless he's VERY wealthy. (Or come to that, get involved with any man just for the money)

Edited November 14, 2008 by F1fanatic

[thesunset75]

"But daughters can marry " Falong" and support the family honorably through marrying a man she doesn't love. Isn't that just as good? Maybe even better?"

This is something I've been wondering about for a while now. How will all those farang men with daughters feel when she turns up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

woman all over world were married / devoced for money

To a certain extent, but I repeat the question - how will the farang man feel when their daughters turn up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

Sorry to be unsubtle, but it's v rare in Western society for a young woman to get involved with an old man unless he's VERY wealthy. (Or come to that, get involved with any man just for the money)

His daugther would have enough money from her father so she dont have to marry old man for money.

Maybe young guy wants to marry her for money instead.

[Hannahcopacabana]

I'm having a kid because my body told me to(sex drive). Fortunately I'm married to a great woman so that will make it much easier. As for my psychological reasons, I think it will be fun to impart all of my dreams, hopes, aspirations, knowledge, etc. to a "mini-me". hehe The fact that it's a boy is a bonus as he will have the genes on the Y chromosome to boot.

For my wife, she's always wanted a baby. It's like a rite-of-passage in her culture. Any man will do as long as they're married. The richer, the better. If there's love, even better. If the two like each other, hey great! Her parents also gave her a lot of pressure to have a child because they want a grand-baby. Psychologically, I think she wants a girl so she can teach her all the girly things but having a boy is a big status thing in her family.

I wouldn't mind having another child as a backup in case one dies, but I doubt I can afford it so I'm waiting until I get more income. After 2 kids I'll probably go the vasectomy route. I wouldn't mind donating sperm to those women that want a child with light skin but not a husband.

These are not the thoughts of a sane or empathetic person. I am worried. Also, 'science'guy, you should probably check your understanding of the term sex drive: the fact that you apparently want to stick it in anything that's got a pulse and wears lipstick has, as far as can see, nothing whatsoever to do with man's innate desire to procreate. You're just a horny <deleted>.

PS. Congratulations on the birth of your child.

[Hannahcopacabana]

God knows there are also plenty of ,thai/thai, thai/farang couples, having children…. that should have remained childless.

seriously... if stupid people would stop having children i think a lot of the world's problems might be solved.

Who would want to bring a kid into this world now, the way it is going?

to be fair the state of the world has always been pretty dire no matter what point in history you are in, but this is true. as much as i love life, sometimes i wonder if some of the <deleted> people have to go through is even worth it.

i for one have no biological clock whatsoever. 32 now! but then, i might not be able to have kids without fertility treatments so it could be why. i also am the oldest of many siblings, whom i pretty much raised, so i feel like i have already been there and done that. i like my freedom.

I'm with Girlx here: I think people who have a strong moral compass and a sense of social responsibility have a duty to raise children who will grow up into educated, ethical people able to counteract the societal damage caused by people like... (insert name of sociopathic poster).

To the guy who said "Why would anyone want to bring a kid into this world now?": If you don't like the way the world is, what better way to change it than to raise a child that understands the difference between right and wrong and give them an education which will allow them to effect change for the better? Naive and optimistic? Maybe so but what other options are there? Nihilism? I'd rather have a kid, mate.

[F1fanatic]

"But daughters can marry " Falong" and support the family honorably through marrying a man she doesn't love. Isn't that just as good? Maybe even better?"

This is something I've been wondering about for a while now. How will all those farang men with daughters feel when she turns up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

woman all over world were married / devoced for money

To a certain extent, but I repeat the question - how will the farang man feel when their daughters turn up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

Sorry to be unsubtle, but it's v rare in Western society for a young woman to get involved with an old man unless he's VERY wealthy. (Or come to that, get involved with any man just for the money)

His daugther would have enough money from her father so she dont have to marry old man for money.

Maybe young guy wants to marry her for money instead.

In most cases she won't have enough money to marry a wealthy Thai. So once again, will the farang father be happy to see her marry a (relatively) wealthy old farang?

[thesunset75]

"But daughters can marry " Falong" and support the family honorably through marrying a man she doesn't love. Isn't that just as good? Maybe even better?"

This is something I've been wondering about for a while now. How will all those farang men with daughters feel when she turns up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

woman all over world were married / devoced for money

To a certain extent, but I repeat the question - how will the farang man feel when their daughters turn up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

Sorry to be unsubtle, but it's v rare in Western society for a young woman to get involved with an old man unless he's VERY wealthy. (Or come to that, get involved with any man just for the money)

His daugther would have enough money from her father so she dont have to marry old man for money.

Maybe young guy wants to marry her for money instead.

In most cases she won't have enough money to marry a wealthy Thai. So once again, will the farang father be happy to see her marry a (relatively) wealthy old farang?

I cant answer this.

And I think all the farthers who have daughters would not either.

[F1fanatic]

"But daughters can marry " Falong" and support the family honorably through marrying a man she doesn't love. Isn't that just as good? Maybe even better?"

This is something I've been wondering about for a while now. How will all those farang men with daughters feel when she turns up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

woman all over world were married / devoced for money

To a certain extent, but I repeat the question - how will the farang man feel when their daughters turn up with an old farang male that she wants to marry for the money?

Sorry to be unsubtle, but it's v rare in Western society for a young woman to get involved with an old man unless he's VERY wealthy. (Or come to that, get involved with any man just for the money)

His daugther would have enough money from her father so she dont have to marry old man for money.

Maybe young guy wants to marry her for money instead.

In most cases she won't have enough money to marry a wealthy Thai. So once again, will the farang father be happy to see her marry a (relatively) wealthy old farang?

I cant answer this.

And I think all the farthers who have daughters would not either.

Thank you for the honest reply, but it's a question that needs to be considered by everyone who has a daughter. There really aren't that many wealthy Thais out there (if you've got the money), so who is your daughter going to marry???

Edited November 14, 2008 by F1fanatic

[grandslam]

The last two posters sound like people who would nurture children. However the question of the "wealthy" farang is fast becoming a fallacy in the present and probably continuing economic environment. Some may have started out wealthy and been "taken" might even have thought it was worth it, a personal choice that no child has, male or female.

Like thesunset75 I don't know the answer and the people who know it all are (as prospective parents) more of a worry imo.