How To Refuse A Nice Guy?

[anna234cn]

I met a very kind guy who treats me pretty well and wants me to be his gf. But I'd like him just to be my friend. He is younger than me and very simple. He is far different from those men I had ever met. So I dont wanna hurt him and wonder how to tell him. Any advice?

[LaoPo]

I met a very kind guy who treats me pretty well and wants me to be his gf. But I'd like him just to be my friend. He is younger than me and very simple. He is far different from those men I had ever met. So I dont wanna hurt him and wonder how to tell him. Any advice? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

EAST MEETS WEST...

Try not to offend him and try to stay away from him; you might tell him that you have a bf back home...

LaoPo

[siamesekitty]

"Let's just be friends" (เป็นเพื่อนกันดีกว่า). Standard answer.

I'll post again when I can come up with something a bit more original

[anna234cn]

I met a very kind guy who treats me pretty well and wants me to be his gf. But I'd like him just to be my friend. He is younger than me and very simple. He is far different from those men I had ever met. So I dont wanna hurt him and wonder how to tell him. Any advice? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

EAST MEETS WEST...

Try not to offend him and try to stay away from him; you might tell him that you have a bf back home...

LaoPo

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

He is my good friend's friend. So he's known I dont have a bf.

How to try stay away from him? He always call me and sms me. I feel it's not good if I dont accept his calls.

[britmaveric]

Anna - just tell him that way he doesnt waste anytime on you apart from being mates.

[anna234cn]

Anna - just tell him that way he doesnt waste anytime on you apart from being mates.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If he is older, I will refuse him directly. He is too young. And it will be embarrassing for us when we go out with our friends. Usually I never meet those guys that I refused directly.

[britmaveric]

Trust me - he will appreciate you telling him, or would you rather him make a fool of himself?

Or set him up with another lady.... (that would imply no interest on your part)

[anna234cn]

Trust me - he will appreciate you telling him, or would you rather him make a fool of himself?

Or set him up with another lady.... (that would imply no interest on your part)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think the 2nd way is better. Thanks.

[bkkmadness]

Setting him up with another girl is a good diea coz it shows your interest in him as a mate and disinterest as him as a gf.

Don't worry about hurting his feelings too much, coz it's a part of growing up, and all us guyz have to go through it at some stage or another, consider your rejection as a bit of education for the young lad.

[Explorer]

.......... So he's known I dont have a bf.

Explorer

[Jai Noi]

I met a very kind guy who treats me pretty well and wants me to be his gf. But I'd like him just to be my friend. He is younger than me and very simple. He is far different from those men I had ever met. So I dont wanna hurt him and wonder how to tell him. Any advice? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Keep distance between you & him. Do not pick up a phone call from him regularly. Tell him you're busy. These can hint how you feel to him.

Good luck

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Tell him to &lt;deleted&gt;*k off.

You have to be cruel to be kind.

[anna234cn]

I gave him some hints. But it seems he doesnt understand.

[Jai Noi]

Tell him to &lt;deleted&gt;*k off.

You have to be cruel to be kind.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is not best solution. You will probably get more troubles. You should deny him politely but firm manner.It might take time for awhile for him to learn that he can be only your friends.

[sbk]

Anna, subtle doesn't usually work with guys, you have to hit them in the head with a baseball bat to get it into their heads.

Something along the lines of : "You are such a great guy, it is so nice to be friends with someone who doesn't have any expectations on me." And then mention someone you know who you think would be "just perfect" for him, because they would have so much in common. If he doesn't get that, then hit him in the head with a baseball bat

[Insight]

Anna, subtle doesn't usually work with guys, you have to hit them in the head with a baseball bat to get it into their heads.

Something along the lines of : "You are such a great guy, it is so nice to be friends with someone who doesn't have any expectations on me." And then mention someone you know who you think would be "just perfect" for him, because they would have so much in common. If he doesn't get that, then hit him in the head with a baseball bat

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

From Dumb and Dumber:

Lloyd Christmas: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me...ending up together?

Mary Swanson: Not good.

Lloyd Christmas: You mean not good like one out of a hundred?

Mary Swanson: I'd say more like one in a million.

[a long sad pause]

Lloyd Christmas: So you're telling me there's a chance? Yeah! I read ya.

[Kalavo]

Don't be subtle.

Don't try and 'be nice'.

Don't tell white lies.

Truth, plain and simple... "I'm just not that in to you", "I'm not interested in being more than just friends with you" whatever.

Much much better to be told sooner in plain english (being subtle gets ignored because the body language saying i still want to be friends conflicts with it) than finding them in the shower with someone else three months down the track without them having told you they weren't interested.

Nice guys love people who are honest and will always try to be honest with you.

[sego]

From Dumb and Dumber:

Lloyd Christmas: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me...ending up together?

Mary Swanson: Not good.

Lloyd Christmas: You mean not good like one out of a hundred?

Mary Swanson: I'd say more like one in a million.

[a long sad pause]

Lloyd Christmas: So you're telling me there's a chance? Yeah! I read ya.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

so true

[sego]

Tell him to &lt;deleted&gt;*k off.

You have to be cruel to be kind.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with Scampy, here.

I experienced the same situation. After having used a subtle language, I had to tell the guy that I wouldn't see him nor pick up the phone until I feel he is over me.

Told him too that I was fed up of his attitude and there was no way I'd change my mind.

[CMguy]

Just be honest and tell him exactly how you feel. He may not feel good about it but he really cannot begrudge you for how you feel. Hopefully anyway

Checkout the following link it may help

how to tell someone you just wanna be friends

I have friendships that have lasted a lifetime, but romances thats another story.

Goodluck,CMG

Edited April 21, 2005 by CMguy

[anna234cn]

I told him directly that I just wanna be friends with him. But he never stop botherring me everyday. And my good friend also got botherred by him everyday. Too annoying like a Thai mosquito. I think what I can do is to ignore all his sms and calls. Hope he will stop soon.

[terry74]

I told him directly that I just wanna be friends with him. But he never stop botherring me everyday. And my good friend also got botherred by him everyday. Too annoying like a Thai mosquito. I think what I can do is to ignore all his sms and calls. Hope he will stop soon.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think maybe you are not sending the right signal to him

I HAD a Thai GF , whom wanted only to be friends, however wanted me to do many things for her and remaind friends is this possible

example call her and bring her out every saturday and Sunday

Send her relatives home on Sunday or pay Taxi fare for her relatives

Call her every day

Confusing , there is a thin line from Friendship to GF

So I think in time he should fade away, however friendships take time to develope and in Thailand you need alot of patience for friendship

if you dont have patience I think you better leave Thailand

[aughie]

I think what I can do is to ignore all his sms and calls. Hope he will stop soon.

I thot ignoring his sms and calls was standard procedure for cooling someone off. Have a friend drop some hints too.

Edited April 23, 2005 by aughie

[sbk]

I told him directly that I just wanna be friends with him. But he never stop botherring me everyday. And my good friend also got botherred by him everyday. Too annoying like a Thai mosquito. I think what I can do is to ignore all his sms and calls. Hope he will stop soon.

I think maybe you are not sending the right signal to him

I HAD a Thai GF , whom wanted only to be friends, however wanted me to do many things for her and remaind friends is this possible

example call her and bring her out every saturday and Sunday

Send her relatives home on Sunday or pay Taxi fare for her relatives

Call her every day

Confusing , there is a thin line from Friendship to GF

So I think in time he should fade away, however friendships take time to develope and in Thailand you need alot of patience for friendship

if you dont have patience I think you better leave Thailand

that seems a bit severe don't you think? the guy can't get the hint so if she doesn't have enough patience to deal with a guy who can't take "no" for an answer she should leave Thailand?

[donna]

Bit harsh, Terry. Why should SHE leave? Anyway, who says she is living in Thailand? Maybe she isn't even here and it's a bloke from wherever she is living.

If he can't get the hint, then easing up on the contact is the best thing to do. Don't go out with him and his friends.

I am trying to shake a persistent ex at the moment. Phone calls in the middle of the night, gets his son on the phone to ask me "thammai khun mai rak poh?", telling me he is on the way over to my place after I told him I didn't want him to etc. It's a real battle. All I can do is avoid his calls and not answer the phone when he calls.

And if you:

called her and took her out every saturday and Sunday

Send her relatives home on Sunday or paid Taxi fare for her relatives

Called her every day

Then sucked in buddy.

[chuchok]

Tell him you don't like men.

[anna234cn]

Tell him you don't like men.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

haha, thats why I am always considered to be a lesbian.

[mbkudu]

Confusing , there is a thin line from Friendship to GF

There is no fine line; you're either f*****g her or you're not. Friends don't F***

friends.

[nickcash]

Tell him you don't like men.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

haha, thats why I am always considered to be a lesbian.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

subtle does not work with men. that said, since he has common friends with you, better not to be too mean.

i think the idea of telling a common friend and having him/her tell the guy you're not interested is a good one. combine that with ignoring his sms messages and not taking his calls. when he sees you and asks why you're not taking his calls, tell him you've been busy and it better that he not call you so much. don't apologize for any of this- that will make him not get the hint.

if that doesn't work, then you need to be more direct. when you see him next, pull him aside, look him in the eye with a firm look and tell him that you are not attracted to him. personally, that one always gets the message through to me.

good luck.

[Jeff1]

Pack his lunch box and send the boy off to school . When there young , there even more stupid . ( I like the baseball bat ) If it bothers you enough to post it here , I think you already know what you have to do . Tell him flat out , NOT interested . Do not leave that 1 in a million chance in his mind .

Beauty is such a curse