Estrella Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Some suggestion from me ( never been married but live far away from home often) She might miss : 1. being independent Far away from home, dont really speak the language, hard to get around in town by herself ( incase you live in countryside and need a car), feel useless ( no job coz cannot work ilgally yet, education does not fits, dont wanna work as waitress either) Solution 1 being supportive emotionally and financially. - tell her to be patient, everything need time to work out and you take her with you because you love her and wanna do your best to make her happy. Its super girl thing! we like to hear that time to time. Strongly emotion support from partner is a must when you are 10000 mile from home. - open her a bank account, put monthly income for her to use ( it can be just so little money like 100-200 ponds, because all other expense you will take care of it anyway. the idea just helps her to feel more independent-- no need to ask for money every time she needs) 2. Thai food! At some point she need to cook her own thai food. ( after trying 100 thai restaurants with stupid tatse ) So before leaving thailand, she should know how to cook thai food or start practice some. Once i was in student house which has awful kitchen, i was not able to cook at all for 2 weeks. I suffered alot emotionally. Good food brings happiness indeed! so I moved out a week later. Now I am expert in thai cooking. I can cook full meal for 10 people , no probs. plus cooking is fun 3. Family I dont know how close she is with her parents and her friends. When I left Thailand to study in USA, I was so close to my mom eventhough i lived on my own before that for several years. Phonecard is so cheap. 10 us dollars phonecard can call thailand home phone for 4 hours at least. I used to call my mom everyday on my lunchbreak, just say hello and tell her what i would be eating for lunch and long converstaion on weekend. So buy her a phonecard, set up internet for her to keep in touch with her family and friends. I hope my suggestion can be helpful. Wish you the best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrvietnam2001 Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Open her a bank account? Why how "American" of an idea. How about separate apartments too? You know, so there's a "feeling" of independence. How about you go your way and I go mine and every now and then, have a rendevous? Jeeez Mr Vietnam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estrella Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 mr.vietnam I assumed from the poster that he would be taking care of her when she moves there. In the practical level, you will find that asking money everytime from your partner to buy even a small thing like tampon could be very frustating,that why I suggest to open an account with small money for her private use. you were missing my point. To live as a couple is about sharing, I agree but at the starting point, you always need some space for your own breath. Imagine from the girl side, she commits herself to move away from home, leave everything behind just because she wants to be with you. Thats tough and lot commitment . In the beginning, she need to feel relaxed and adjust herself to the new enviroment. Then she can find some work and totally become independent in financial aspect. To have her own bank account is just the way to help her mentally (release some tension/frustration while on process of job hunting) How would you feel when you are in one place that everything you need , you have to depend on somebodyelse while back to where you come from you could be totally on your own and even can support your family ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshy Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Open her a bank account? Why how "American" of an idea.How about separate apartments too? You know, so there's a "feeling" of independence. How about you go your way and I go mine and every now and then, have a rendevous? Jeeez Mr Vietnam Mr Vet I do not see anything at all wrong with her suggestions. What ta hells with you? Estrella don't listen to MR. Vet he's having a bad day. Angry??? Why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatsby Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 I agree with Estrella, wonderful suggestions. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutch Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Muay Thai, I noticed that there is no reaction sofar from you. On the otherhand I do see reactions from people NOT in a relationship. This was the specific question from Muay Thai. So,even if everybody has an opinion, that is not what MT asked for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 When establishing a social life for your teeruk in Farangland, don't assume that just because another guy has a thai wife/gf that you should automatically be buddies and all hang out, especially if one women is a dark issanian ex-whore and the other wife is wealthy,highly educated and from an important Thai family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutch Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 I know there is a point of truth P. My wife did not mixed up with others just because there are Thai (or Asian).She also would not have done that back home in Thailand. What she did was helping other ,not so fortunate Thai ladies, on their visits to Hospitals and social welfare offices.She not only interpretated, bout fought as a fury if there was any kind of maltreatment. But again they not became friends.If my wife visited their homes,none of their other friends were there (gambling and so on).There was respect. The rate of succes also highly depends on the character and level of the Thai woman involved. One thing is for sure;it is not easy. Note;the internet sugestion of Estrella is very important. At the moment my wife still contacting;a Philipino/a Argentinian/a Surinamian/a Dutch and a German lady.All old friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 especially if one women is a dark issanian ex-whore and the other wife is wealthy,highly educated and from an important Thai family. One of the things that I believe your g/f will find out about the UK is that it is a cosmopolitan society where people care less about the colour of one's skin and social background than biggots like Penelope! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 I think you definately need a "joint" bank account, this will help to establish the "ongoing serious relationship" if she proceeds to the permanent visa stage(thats the way it works in Oz anyway) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinN Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 I am in agreement with Mr Viet Nam here,,I moved to Thai land and I can't work here either,But I do not expect my wife to open me a bank acct. to the tune of 200 pounds a month[how ever much money 200 pounds is]..sounds like a heil of a lot of TAMPAX to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 especially if one women is a dark issanian ex-whore and the other wife is wealthy,highly educated and from an important Thai family. One of the things that I believe your g/f will find out about the UK is that it is a cosmopolitan society where people care less about the colour of one's skin and social background than biggots like Penelope! Fair enough, but there is a social dynamic, particularly with Thai females, that just doesn't work at the dinner table. I think it is a little reckless to label someone a bigot for making a subjective statement about an objective situation, that being the class heirarchy of Thai people and how they interact, domestically and abroad.Sure, many foreign cities are melting pots of nationalities, and many inter-nationality relationships flourish, but nethertheless, the INTRA nationality politics still exist.I've observed that in the foreign cities I've been exposed to the distinct categories of Thai class usually form their own groups within society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 I think it is a little reckless to label someone a bigot for making a subjective statement about an objective situation, OK - what about "stuck up snobs with narrow minded little bitches"? You obviously mix in much higher social circles than me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 Pnustedt read all his posts and you'll get the picture. Knew a bloke like that once and we called him Fos, he never could figure out why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 Fair enough, but I don't insult people, I just speak my mind based on observations of things I see and experience. Feel free to deny a factual situation that actually exists and throw some more insults at me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshy Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 I am in agreement with Mr Viet Nam here,,I moved to Thai land and I can't work here either,But I do not expect my wife to open me a bank acct. to the tune of 200 pounds a month[how ever much money 200 pounds is]..sounds like a heil of a lot of TAMPAX to me. An account with $150. a month or so to cover all incidentals fule, phone cards, sodas, girl supplies, etc. till she ajusts and is able to earn her own way. Sounds like a ###### of alot??? Sounds like a bare minimum to me. I've heard of cheap--skates befor but man!!! I think the point was---(so she dosn't have to ask all the time.) Which may be unsettleing. Did you miss that one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff1 Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Estrella, great advice again, I enjoy your posts. And Pnustedt Your alright too. Penelope...That was harsh ! I too have witnessed the dividing line between lighter skinned and darker skinned Thai's..How do you think we can get that to stop ? Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Penelope...That was harsh ! I too have witnessed the dividing line between lighter skinned and darker skinned Thai's..How do you think we can get that to stop ? The truth is harsh sometimes.Alas, this is the society we live in.Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just reporting on a real situation.I didn't make it up, it evolved itself. How to change it you ask?? ...how does one re-engineer/refactor thai society and culture going back centuries.A better question is, how to adapt to it.The answer to that will be different for everyones needs/goals. It's not a light skin - dark skin issue.It is an upper class - lower class issue.There are many upper class dark skinned thais and many lower class light skinned thais and vice versa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff1 Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Im sorry , I thought I read ' especialy if one woman was a dark Issanian.... seems to me that there is something about color there. Just because it does happen, does not mean it has to be repeated. I truely hope that it is not you that feel that way. Best regard's, Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Just because it does happen, does not mean it has to be repeated. I truely hope that it is not you that feel that way. No, I'll happily mingle with anyone. However my wife would feel uncomfortable with a thai significantly subordinate to herself sitting at the dinner table(especially a whore or someone with minimal education), hence a LOSS OF FACE caused by myself(if I was the inviter). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Just because it does happen, does not mean it has to be repeated. I truely hope that it is not you that feel that way. No, I'll happily mingle with anyone. However my wife would feel uncomfortable with a thai significantly subordinate to herself sitting at the dinner table(especially a whore or someone with minimal education), hence a LOSS OF FACE caused by myself(if I was the inviter). Wife is thai physically but everything else Farang ( mentally, accent when speaking English, education, main citizeship etc..) I guess I have hedged my bets. Well, which is it penny, mentally Thai or Farang hedging them again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Mentally farang, thats for sure.I think the "face" issue in the context described is not uncommon to upperclass women in many different cultures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 You mean stuck up and snobbish. I come from Adelaide and I grew up around the corner from one of the wealthiest men in Adelaide I won't mention names but the son held an Australian record for 100 mtres freestlye (if you know anything about swimming you could guess) I was best friends with the daughter untill mid teen years. There was no upper class <deleted> about these people, they mixed with everyone, and they exuded class in their genuine approach, they didn't see people as being beneath them because they had less money or didn't go to private school. The old man once told me it was an accident of birth, he was lucky to be born into wealth. When they held parties it was like a who's who of Aussie celebrities, not just Adelaide. Sure there are snobs in all societies,they don't have to be they just take themselves to seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 they excuded class in their genuine approach An upper class Australian! - come off it Bronco, the two are mutually exclusive My ex-wife is a direct descendant of Captain Cook - does that make me upper class - just want to know in case Penelope invites me to dinner and I can sit next to his upper class wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 I didn't say they were upper class just that they were classy Pete, there is a difference that would be lost on penny and his wife. Do you think we would get an invite to dinner with those two, be funny we could have a farting competion, first one to shit disqualified Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Interesting reply bronco, I have plenty of stories myself. Unfortunately, your replys are starting to branch of and detract from the crux of my original point.(Thai Female class relations/compatibility/social implications). From I, enough said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 I wont accept people who look down on others thru an accident of birth. The upper class Thai lying next to the BG in the cematery have the same status both worm fodder have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be the richest bloke in the cematery Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NedKelly Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Yeah Bronco I think you reflect the general attitude in Oz.......those who look down on others are a piece of shit. We are all the same and it takes more guts and class to be able to sit down for a beer with a garbage collector than it does to sit down for a beer with a lawyer (although we may be more afraid of the lawyer) !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Do you think we would get an invite to dinner with those two Maybe we could get him to arrange it the same w/e as Dutch's housewarming? I told my wife that I could be coming over for a dinner party but that she wasn't invited 'cos she's too low class. She reckons Mrs Penelope is on the lookout for a bit of rough! . . . or should that be Lady Penelope? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markt Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 When my wife first came to live in London, we assumed that she might work in Thai restaurants. But we soon noticed that the restaurants mainly employed students from middle class backgrounds. She did get a job at a restaurant in Covent Garden. She was the only member of staff who was resident in the UK, the rest were students. She was shocked by the way the girls talked. Chatting up male customers, making arrangments to meet total strangers after work, marriage for visa etc. Yet these same girls, who had a good education back home, would mock my wife for having a farang husband! Sly remarks like g'lee and such were made. They would boast about their education, family wealth, connections yet they were ever so keen to stay. Needless to say, my wife didn't work there long! I have been told that Thai restaurants outside of London are far more friendlier places to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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