Nursery Bully At International School

[MartyC]

Our 3 year old son goes to a good international school in Bangkok. A few months back the nursery teacher informed us that another child in the class has bitten him. We said ok and understood that they were only kids and will learn. Today when we collected our son the teacher apologised again and said the same kid had bitten our son, with that our son cane running over and said pain whilst lifting up his shirt to reveal a horrendous bite mark on his back. Again we said ok no problem as we were both in shock but now I'm home I'm angry. Is this kids parents doing anything about it? What if it happens again, can I demand to see the other parents? If this kid keeps doing it how far could he go, ok I know he's only three and a half but he probably thinks its ok to bite our son. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Forethat]

Can you please inform us of the nationality of the bullying kid & family?

[MartyC]

He is Thai, we never see his parents at school as their maid always brings him to school.

[nontabury]

We had the same problem with our young one in the kindergarten at a international school,

Solution,taught him to punch back,which he did,now no problem.In case anybody thinks that this could lead to our child turning into a bully,we also instilled into him that he must never hit first,only to defend himself.

Edited March 27, 2013 by nontabury

[MartyC]

Agreed, that's my next step is to strike back

[MartyC]

My son, obviously not me :-)

[doggie888888]

Has the school officially notified the bully's parents that their child is a problem?

The school should be telling you their course of action to prevent a recurrence? And the consequences for the other child if it happens again?

Teaching your child to strike back may elevate the matter into something which may spiral out of control. Just my humble opinion.

[MrJohnson]

Has the school officially notified the bully's parents that their child is a problem?

The school should be telling you their course of action to prevent a recurrence? And the consequences for the other child if it happens again?

Teaching your child to strike back may elevate the matter into something which may spiral out of control. Just my humble opinion.

Agreed. Take it up with the teacher, then their supervisor and so on. Most good schools have protocols for this kind of thing. I don't really think that teaching your kid to hit back is a good long term solution.

[nontabury]

Has the school officially notified the bully's parents that their child is a problem?

The school should be telling you their course of action to prevent a recurrence? And the consequences for the other child if it happens again?

Teaching your child to strike back may elevate the matter into something which may spiral out of control. Just my humble opinion.

Agreed. Take it up with the teacher, then their supervisor and so on. Most good schools have protocols for this kind of thing. I don't really think that teaching your kid to hit back is a good long term solution.

Cannot agree,to teach your child how and WHEN to defend himself,is very important.Will you be around throughout his life to hold his hand.Your child has got his whole life in front of him,there will be occasions,even when he leaves school,when he will come up against a bully,

He will not always be able to call upon the assistance of a parent,teacher or even a friend.As I mentioned in my previously post,along with encouraging him to defend himself it is equally important that he is taught,to only use violence to defend himself.

[maprao]

We had the same problem with our young one in the kindergarten at a international school, Solution,taught him to punch back,which he did,now no problem.In case anybody thinks that this could lead to our child turning into a bully,we also instilled into him that he must never hit first,only to defend himself.

I did the same it worked a treat!

[lost_in_space]

My daughter was a victim of a little bullying in K3. I didn't bother much with the teacher, who should have seen it, but went straight to the headmaster, and demanded an immediate meeting about it.

That's because my daughter isn't a tough cookie. Nontabury's son has a different personality. You might try to assess your son's, and then decide on a strategy.

Please don't let this go, whatever you do. Too many sad stories about victims of bullying out there.

[kurnell]

Change schools. Bullying happens in all schools, and if teachers do nothing then move on.

[Newguy70]

Dear Op,

This is where the forum rules need to bend on naming/shaming (As I would like to know the name of the school). 1st of all any school should not allow a child who bites to attend. Many U.S. preschools have this in place> If your child bites, or hits, he/she is unable to attend. Is there not a policy in place at this international school regarding such actions?

My questions would be....

How did this go unseen until after the fact by the teacher, and teaching assistant?

Why is the child who is still doing the biting still attending the school??????

Is the class size to big?

Are the teacher and teaching aid doing their jobs?

Why have the parents of all parties not been brought in? One to have the child give an apology to the child who was bitten. And to make sure everyone is on the same page of what, why, how this happened etc.

Why hasn't the school called you to discuss the matter and vise versa?

I love how schools just toss up International to draw everyone in, yet they nor the community are holding them to International standards.

Op I know schools are not easy to come by, but the problem here doesn't fall only on the child doing the biting. It seems this so called international school ( I don't care how affluent it is) isn't up to par! They are as much to blame

IMHO, I don't think teaching your child to fight at this age (3 years old) is the course that you need to take. But, to each his own...

In addition, the child who is doing the biting probably does think it is ok, as he/she is still doing it. Thus, he/ she has not learned the lesson from the past incident. This will probably happen again if serious actions are not take.

Best of luck.