Can anyone relate to this?

[outlaw11wa]

Yes I can relate to this. I was born in th UK and moved to Australi as a child of 10 years old. While I thank my good fortune to grow up in the freedom of the Australian environment I still felt slightly beside rather than inside the culture of the country. I have visted Sth Africa during the Apartird era, Visited Ireland, Penang, Singapore,Kathmabdhu in Nepal, and finally Thailand. Each time getting closer to my theoretical comfort zone.. Phuket was a taste of the culture, Bangkok was amazing fun , Korat started to feel really comfortable till I split with my first wife. I now spent my Thailand time in a smaller town of Loeng Nok Tha in Yasthorn. Now I know where home is. With my Wonderful Thai lady and a familythat opened their hearts to me. I hope you are as lucky my frind.

[benalibina]

Do you know why this comes up now ?

I guess that u are around mid 40s of age.

If you know the answer of the why question.....u can get the solution.....soulsearching......

I dont have same background as you but i can understand the feeling...i.e...living it.....

I know though if i could be with my kids on a daily basis i could not care where it is......but better here in europe than in thailand.

I guess it has come up, because I recently have met with tourists and expats from my home country here and talked with them. When talking with them I just feel completely different somehow; like I can not relate to their feelings about our home country. I have simply lost touch with the culture, traditions etc. of my home country and as mentioned I do not even enjoy visiting it. I could find dozens of other countries, I would rather spend my money and holiday on.

I know many fellow expats and countrymen here, who spend a great deal of time interacting will fellow countrymen in clubs/events etc. They always ask me if I do not want to join them, but I always find an excuse to not go. I just do not have the need for it and also feel I do not have much in common besides the ability to speak the same language.

Our mindsets are mostly completely different. They talk about the news back home, politics etc. I have no idea of what has been going on there for years. I can't even sing along, if people get drunk and start singing a song from my home country, because mostly I never heard the <deleted> song before. In other words I feel strange and out of place somehow. One of my favorite farang-foods is a big english breakfast with real greasy english sausages and baked beans, and I am not even from England (but lived there before.) Besides that the food, I miss most is the food from the other countries I lived before. How fxxked up is that? :-)

Before, I thought it was nice to meet a fellow countryman abroad, but now I really can not be bothered much. I guess it is because I have meet so many people abroad and each time it ends up with 1-3 years of friendship before someone moves on. So I lost the energy to pursue this, because it always ends up as a short term thing and the "friendships" are mostly based on us being at the same place at the same time, with the same passport and not e.g. personal interests. I always get the "Don't you miss this and that at home?" I really don't, but sometimes say "Yes", just to keep the conversation going. And most of the time, they have to explain if the conversation involves news, politics or something like that. I can only recall stuff that happened more than 20 years ago and feel like a 120 year old person with Alzheimers most of the time. People have to feed me with info, before I can understand or join the debate.

I have a few good friends from my own country that I met abroad and I really enjoy when they come to Thailand and visit. But they are all also people that have lived most of their life abroad and still do. Besides that we have common experiences from the countries we met in.

But I guess I should not worry too much about this. Because, I really have a good life and I am truly happy here. But I sometimes think it would be nice to have some kind of emotional connection to the place I was born and where my passport is from. But you are right, it is a kind of soul searching... I hope Thailand is my end-destination.

The destination is not countrybound.....its personbound......you are that person.....only you....dont search on the surface but inside of yourself......

This is just the start.....enjoy the ride....a bumpy one, most likely....

[tsigane]

I wish I grew up rootless like you did. Instead I had to work hard to become this way and I'm proud of it.

Thailand - who cares. They get the money from me, I get the climate and low prices. It's not that different

in other countries (even where my roots are or otherwise).

BTW, I certainly don't want to become Thai, in any way. Not that there is anything wrong with being Thai,

but no thanks

[Just Destiny]

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I feel more like I do not truly belong anywhere, but at the same time could live anywhere in the world and still feel fine about that. Its kind of a strange feeling.

Belonging somewhere is largely an illusion anyway. Many people have spent their entire lives within 50 miles of where they were born and they may or may not really belong. Depends on a lot more than just a location or nationality.

I left the US 40 years ago. Lived and worked in 4 different countries. The first time I went back to the US for a short visit I really felt alien, but subsequent visits were no big deal. When I'm with people I know and who know me, it doesn't matter much where we are. And these days it's easy to "be with" people wherever you happen to be, thanks to the Internet.

If I ever feel a twinge of homesickness, it's for one of many combinations of people, locations and certain times in my life, and those particular combinations can no longer exist except in the memories I share with those people at those special times. Locations change, people move on and time is lost forever:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

Just in the past week I reconnected with 8 fraternity brothers from nearly 50 years ago at the University of Illinois and the number is increasing literally by the day. Although they now live all over the US and we connected by email, they give me a sense of belonging. Even if I were in the US I doubt we'd all ever manage to get together, but I still belong to the time and place that we all shared once, even if that time and place are gone forever.

Don't look for reasons to feel you don't belong. Some of the those people who never ventured very far from where they were born probably envy you and you probably belong to more people/places/times than they could imagine.

I also lived in three countries and traveled extensively. I felt that I was like a tourist and even didn't like somethings that were normal when I was living there.Life experience in different countries changes your likes and dislikes. Now I am going to make a move to live rest of my life in Thailand. I like to make friends and adopt to new environment. There are always challenges but everything else is the full of challenges too.My advice,that is what I do, live your life as best as you can be open mind and you are in your home country then.

[humqdpf]

They say that home is where the heart is - and that is true. But like any relationship, you have to work at it.

In my case, I have invested in the relationship with my home country. Although I have lived abroad for decades, I make a point about going home for a minimum of once a year for a few weeks. It is really worth it. I always keep up with friends and family when I visit and I keep in touch by Skype and email.

This keeps my identity stable so that I feel I am in touch with my roots.

Of course, it may be the case that you do not feel that way about your home country. Instead,you should consider adopting a country, a place where you feel comfortable and might wish to put down roots.

I don't intend to retire to my country when I cannot work any longer, mainly because the weather is so bad for most of the year. But when I do retire to somewhere sunny, I will always spend a few weeks back home and I know that my sunny retirement place will be a magnet for my relatives and friends from back home during those winter months.

[inthepink]

You will never feel at home in Thailand because the Thais don't want you. They want your money then you need to get out. It may feel familiar but that is the best it gets.

What you are feeling is just a phase that we all go through after being in a different country especially Thailand.

Frankly I like it.

Bit Cynical Expat!!

OP, buy yourself a bottle of Sang Som, a pack of Krong Tip's, get smashed, smoke all the fags and then wait for your girlfriend to come home after she's been abused by some dirty old farang, beat her with a stick and then go to bed so you can start the whole process over again the next day.

There, do you feel like a Thai now:)

Cynical followed by ....cynical...

Yes, a couple of stereotypical expats who seem to hang around with trash - possibly where they feel most comfortable.

[bigjules007]

You will never feel at home in Thailand because the Thais don't want you. They want your money then you need to get out. It may feel familiar but that is the best it gets.

What you are feeling is just a phase that we all go through after being in a different country especially Thailand.

Frankly I like it.

Bit Cynical Expat!!

OP, buy yourself a bottle of Sang Som, a pack of Krong Tip's, get smashed, smoke all the fags and then wait for your girlfriend to come home after she's been abused by some dirty old farang, beat her with a stick and then go to bed so you can start the whole process over again the next day.

There, do you feel like a Thai now:)

Cynical followed by ....cynical...

Yes, a couple of stereotypical expats who seem to hang around with trash - possibly where they feel most comfortable.

How dare you call my wife's family trash?

[bigjules007]

in the pink, im guessing your one of the dirty old farangs then

[bkkden]

Keep this fact in mind. Studies have repeatedly shown that when children of expats families go 'back home' they do not fit in with people their own age because they are Way Ahead of everyone in knowledge and worldliness.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[sirchai]

I guess I pretty much understand your feelings and emotions. I haven't burnt bridges to Germany, where I was born and truly see this country here as my home.

I know the strange feeling, when going to the country, you're holding a passport from, but you can't relate to anything that's going on there.

I think it's all about time. Time to find out where your heart belongs to. Time to have friends you can rely on. Time to spend with your own family having kids and actually having responsibility for everything you're doing.

Yep, I also feel like a stranger when I visit my country of origin for a short time. People are so serious, money seems to be the most important thing. Okay, we all need it, but I do not make it to the center of the universe for my Thai family and me.

I should add that I'm living here for more than 12 years and speaking the language, understanding the problems here, but must post importantly having friends here.

People you can talk to when you have a problem, people who are there when you need them and vice versa.

It's pretty strange when I come back home to Thailand from Germany. Once arrived at the airport in Bangkok, I take something off, let's say a jacket, which I call Germany.

Then I feel back home, people understand my jokes, nobody is so serious about unimportant things. Well, I'd assume it's all who you meet, as usually the people who're surrounding you make you to that what and who you are.

I think you've got only a little crisis, once understood what really matters in life, then you'll find your own way.

But in the end, doesn't really matter how old you're right now, you'll find out that life's too short to be serious about certain things.Life's too short, no need to run, it's a wonderful life.

Wish you the best, you never walk alone, even when you've got the feeling to do so sometimes. Kind regards from lower northeast.-

Edited March 26, 2014 by sirchai

[nithisa78]

World Citizen. Or personal problem, not related to what you have said. Get some rest.

[nithisa78]

World Citizen. Or personal problem not related. Get some rest and look at the true hardships others must endure.

[lucifer666]

I was born and raised in Sheffield,UK and have spent the last 35 years getting away. I now only visit the UK occasionally and the moment i step off the plane I instantly suffer from depression. My depression lifts the moment I'm airborne again.

[sirchai]

You will never feel at home in Thailand because the Thais don't want you. They want your money then you need to get out. It may feel familiar but that is the best it gets.

What you are feeling is just a phase that we all go through after being in a different country especially Thailand.

Frankly I like it.

Bit Cynical Expat!!

OP, buy yourself a bottle of Sang Som, a pack of Krong Tip's, get smashed, smoke all the fags and then wait for your girlfriend to come home after she's been abused by some dirty old farang, beat her with a stick and then go to bed so you can start the whole process over again the next day.

There, do you feel like a Thai now:)

Cynical followed by ....cynical...

Yes, a couple of stereotypical expats who seem to hang around with trash - possibly where they feel most comfortable.

How can you call my family, friends and colleagues trash? Be happy that you're not where I am. I'd show you who trash is and how to behave. -

[benalibina]

I guess I pretty much understand your feelings and emotions. I haven't burnt bridges to Germany, where I was born and truly see this country here as my home.

I know the strange feeling, when going to the country, you're holding a passport from, but you can't relate to anything that's going on there.

I think it's all about time. Time to find out where your heart belongs to. Time to have friends you can rely on. Time to spend with your own family having kids and actually having responsibility for everything you're doing.

Yep, I also feel like a stranger when I visit my country of origin for a short time. People are so serious, money seems to be the most important thing. Okay, we all need it, but I do not make it to the center of the universe for my Thai family and me.

I should add that I'm living here for more than 12 years and speaking the language, understanding the problems here, but must post importantly having friends here.

People you can talk to when you have a problem, people who are there when you need them and vice versa.

It's pretty strange when I come back home to Thailand from Germany. Once arrived at the airport in Bangkok, I take something off, let's say a jacket, which I call Germany.

Then I feel back home, people understand my jokes, nobody is so serious about unimportant things. Well, I'd assume it's all who you meet, as usually the people who're surrounding you make you to that what and who you are.

I think you've got only a little crisis, once understood what really matters in life, then you'll find your own way.

But in the end, doesn't really matter how old you're right now, you'll find out that life's too short to be serious about certain things.Life's too short, no need to run, it's a wonderful life.

Wish you the best, you never walk alone, even when you've got the feeling to do so sometimes. Kind regards from lower northeast.-

Can u tell us a german joke ? I have never heard 1.

For the rest ....a good comment.....written with a heart and a mind.

[expat888]

World Citizen. Or personal problem not related. Get some rest and look at the true hardships others must endure.

I'm not interested in a philosophy lesson.

Edited March 26, 2014 by expat888

[Skytrain2hell]

I've spent about half of my life abroad.

I started out living in one country for about 20 years, hopped around a bit, and then settled in Thailand. I, too, went through the same rootless feeling that you are going through. It can feel empty and lonely at times, but it's a growing process. It passes, and you will be stronger by finding your own roots in yourself and on...planet earth. Countries were made by people, and they have been promoted through wonderful and terrible means (for example: amazing culture vs. propaganda).

You've been building your own roots, so don't worry about it too much. The grass may seem greener on the other side, but look at the benefits that you have that others attempt to get through watching the Travel Channel, National Geographic, etc.. Focus on the positive. Even if you don't, your roots will grow in just fine.

Edited March 26, 2014 by Skytrain2hell

[Long tang]

I prefer to feel like a foreigner here than to feel like one where I come from (London) .

"Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious" Oscar Wilde was supposed to have said. I'll keep reminding my self that and hopefully it will stick one day.

[wym]

Can u tell us a german joke ? I have never heard 1.

For the rest ....a good comment.....written with a heart and a mind.

A German is driving his car in Britain. A British cop pulls him over to the side of the road. Cop: "Sir, do you realize that there are two poisonous snakes on your windshield?" The German: "Off course! Zey are my vinscreen vipers!"

Q: What did the German clock maker say to the clock that only went "tick tick tick"? A: Vee haf vays to make you tock

Man walking past the olympic stadium carrying a long case is collared by a guard. "Are you a pole-volter?" the guard asks. The man replies "No, I'm German actually; but how did you know my name was Walter?"

Edited March 26, 2014 by wym

[Craftsman258]

You do not belong here...you do not feel at home there...just go somewhere...and stay put for a little while...it will soon feel like home...

I travelled the world as a young man and felt as you do but having been in the same place for a good few years now I feel very much at home. Don't forget too that to be accepted by the locals anywhere in the world you have to mix and not expect everyone to go out of their way to make you feel at home.

[Maggusoil]

Absolutely can relate to you. You sound a lot like me. Like a nomad.

I felt pretty bruised most of my life not fitting in anywhere nor with anyone. I always thought it was I who was rejected by everyone. But now I realize that it was always the other way around. I never wanted to stick around in anyone place for too long, because I knew I would get an anchor placed around my neck and end up stuck there.

I wouldn't allow anyone to accept me even if I could. I love my experimental, adventurous lifestyle. I go where I want with whomever I want and do whatever I want whenever I want. I wouldn't trade any of that for anything in the world.

I love being a nomad. Proud to be a nomad.

Sooner or later, I'll be leaving Thailand, too.

The world is my home.

When you think about it, we're all nomads, really. No one, no matter how hard they try, will be sticking around here for too bloody long. We're here, then we're gone. And that's that.

Nomads, one and all.

The expression for it was. i guote. . . lonley as a rhinoceros (anon). . with the highway curling up like smoke, behind his shoulder (b dylan)

Its OK, I'm off soon myself. Gona thave a little wander. Somehwere warm, edgy and interesting.....

[Maggusoil]

and with nowhere left to return to .. . . That's when life gets interesting

[bigjules007]

But on a serious note OP, It’s funny that when you leave your home and wander really far, you always think, I want to go home. But then you come home, and of course it’s not the same. You can’t live with it, you can’t live away from it. And it seems like from then on there’s always this yearning for some place that doesn’t exist. I felt that. Still do. I’m never completely at home anywhere.!

[Maggusoil]

I have a heavy dose of this, dislocated feeling. In Australia, its beer, cricket, football. When you've had your fill of that, there's not much left but the luxury of everything perfect and politicians who would get away with what they do here if they could. There its the Catholic Club.

The vacuous emptiness of no culture, for a vulture culture. They're so banged up about it they're re-introducing Lords and Ladies, to beef up the social scene a bit. Poor dears. Pretty desperate.

Out in the village in Isaan, it disappears in the heat, the beer the vodka, the rice whiskey the chille mangoes and the rolling laughter of the peasants, of which I become part.

[Shaunduhpostman]

National identity is illusory as is personal identity. They are dreams born of confusing the empty but cognizant nature of vast infinite space like mind for a non-existent doer-observer-self plunked down into a world floating in a seemingly infinite universe. Read the Dhamma and meditate and with much patience and application discover the truth of the selfless and empty yet lucid and free nature of mind.

[maximillian]

I guess I pretty much understand your feelings and emotions. I haven't burnt bridges to Germany, where I was born and truly see this country here as my home.

I know the strange feeling, when going to the country, you're holding a passport from, but you can't relate to anything that's going on there.

I think it's all about time. Time to find out where your heart belongs to. Time to have friends you can rely on. Time to spend with your own family having kids and actually having responsibility for everything you're doing.

Yep, I also feel like a stranger when I visit my country of origin for a short time. People are so serious, money seems to be the most important thing. Okay, we all need it, but I do not make it to the center of the universe for my Thai family and me.

I should add that I'm living here for more than 12 years and speaking the language, understanding the problems here, but must post importantly having friends here.

People you can talk to when you have a problem, people who are there when you need them and vice versa.

It's pretty strange when I come back home to Thailand from Germany. Once arrived at the airport in Bangkok, I take something off, let's say a jacket, which I call Germany.

Then I feel back home, people understand my jokes, nobody is so serious about unimportant things. Well, I'd assume it's all who you meet, as usually the people who're surrounding you make you to that what and who you are.

I think you've got only a little crisis, once understood what really matters in life, then you'll find your own way.

But in the end, doesn't really matter how old you're right now, you'll find out that life's too short to be serious about certain things.Life's too short, no need to run, it's a wonderful life.

Wish you the best, you never walk alone, even when you've got the feeling to do so sometimes. Kind regards from lower northeast.-

Can u tell us a german joke ? I have never heard 1.

For the rest ....a good comment.....written with a heart and a mind.

Stop that nonsense, Moses !

[CapeCobra]

German jokes exist in abundance.

A German coast guard receives a distress call from a ship at sea: "Mayday mayday, we are sinking..."

He replies: "Very interesting... Vot exactly are you sinking about?"

[maximillian]

A Bavarian learning English.

Asked by his pals how is it to take English lessons ?

He replies:

"I (ee) hoast Ei (I) - Ei hoast Egg - Egg hoast corner (koaner) - koaner hoast nobody."

Very confusing !

Host mi ? (Understand ?)

I = Ei = Egg, Egg = Eck = Corner = Koaner = Nobody....

It's nice to be a Preiss,

It's higher to be a Bayer

(It's nice to be a Non-Bavarian, but higher to be a Bavarian)

[sirchai]

A Bavarian learning English.

Asked by his pals how is it to take English lessons ?

He replies:

"I (ee) hoast Ei (I) - Ei hoast Egg - Egg hoast corner (koaner) - koaner hoast nobody."

Very confusing !

Host mi ? (Understand ?)

I = Ei = Egg, Egg = Eck = Corner = Koaner = Nobody....

It's nice to be a Preiss,

It's higher to be a Bayer

(It's nice to be a Non-Bavarian, but higher to be a Bavarian)

Here's what you should have in your toilet for male guests. " Such den Witz nicht an der Wand, denn Du haelst ihn in der Hand."

( Don't look for any jokes on the wall,.as you're holding it in your hand)

Well, unfortunately, also German people have their jokes and black humor about, don't wanna say island hoppers now. Let's see.

For Americans

It is said that Mahatma Gandhi was asked, "What is your opinion of American civilization?"

His reply: "I think it would be an excellent idea."

For Brits

Two British hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency service. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, Sir, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There’s a silence, and then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the Brit says” OK, now what?”

For the Scottish elite

Why do Scottish men wear mustaches?

So they can look like their mothers.

For Thais

A guy from Sisaket meets a friend from Surin he hadn't seen for ages and it seems that the guy from Surin had lost a lot of weight and looks sick.

So the guy from Sisaket is asking: " Benn Arrai?"

The Surin friend: " Benn Khon Thai." The Sisaket guy: " Boo."

[lostinisaan]

I guess I pretty much understand your feelings and emotions. I haven't burnt bridges to Germany, where I was born and truly see this country here as my home.

I know the strange feeling, when going to the country, you're holding a passport from, but you can't relate to anything that's going on there.

I think it's all about time. Time to find out where your heart belongs to. Time to have friends you can rely on. Time to spend with your own family having kids and actually having responsibility for everything you're doing.

Yep, I also feel like a stranger when I visit my country of origin for a short time. People are so serious, money seems to be the most important thing. Okay, we all need it, but I do not make it to the center of the universe for my Thai family and me.

I should add that I'm living here for more than 12 years and speaking the language, understanding the problems here, but must post importantly having friends here.

People you can talk to when you have a problem, people who are there when you need them and vice versa.

It's pretty strange when I come back home to Thailand from Germany. Once arrived at the airport in Bangkok, I take something off, let's say a jacket, which I call Germany.

Then I feel back home, people understand my jokes, nobody is so serious about unimportant things. Well, I'd assume it's all who you meet, as usually the people who're surrounding you make you to that what and who you are.

I think you've got only a little crisis, once understood what really matters in life, then you'll find your own way.

But in the end, doesn't really matter how old you're right now, you'll find out that life's too short to be serious about certain things.Life's too short, no need to run, it's a wonderful life.

Wish you the best, you never walk alone, even when you've got the feeling to do so sometimes. Kind regards from lower northeast.-

Can u tell us a german joke ? I have never heard 1.

For the rest ....a good comment.....written with a heart and a mind.

You might have heard some, but didn't get them