kaewmala

Staying on the ผัวๆเมียๆ track... and เจ้าของ. Even in the old days, there were some Thai women who did not want to belong to any body.

...

มีลูกกวนตัว มีผัวกวนใจ

จะอยู่เป็นสาว ให้หน้าขาวเป็นยองใย

ถึงจะแก่คาบ้าน ก็ไม่หนักกระบาลหัวใคร

Children disturb the body, husband disturbs the mind,

I will stay a pristine old maid, with my pretty face so bright it shines,

Manless to a ripe old age, it's no weight on anybody's head but mine.

cheers,

Thanks for the reference. The first line of this has been a staple in our house since the kids hit speaking age...

When it's my turn to be grumpy with all and sundry, of course I change it to มีลูกกวนตัว มีเมียกวนใจ

I thought it was just a one-liner, but now see my substitution doesn't really hold for the rest of the poem!!

I thought it was a one liner as well, until I came across it while doing research for the book. Pretty cool, isn't it?

Like this one, a lot of Thai sayings actually come from poems, works of classical literature. The most popular sources is probably สุนทรภู่ Sunthorn Phu, I think, e.g. สามวันจากนารีเป็นอื่น (I'm looking for the actual source of this and haven't found it yet.)

To me (and a great many others) Sunthorn Phu remains the best poet/writer Thailand has ever had. A genius wordsmith. Our Shakespeare. He used simple words but when strung together, they transform into an unrivaled beauty of sound and meanings. Words that touch your soul. That's why parts of so many of his works can be recited by heart by many Thais. Here are a few bits:

อันอ้อยตาลหวานลิ้นแล้วสิ้นซาก แต่ลมปากหวานหูไม่รู้หาย

แม้นเจ็บอื่นหมื่นแสนจะแคลนคลาย เจ็บจนตายนั้นเพราะเหน็บให้เจ็บใจ (เพลงยาวถวายโอวาท)

มีสลึงพึงบรรจบให้ครบบาท อย่าให้ขาดสิ่งของต้องประสงค์

จงใช้น้อยกินน้อยค่อยบรรจง อย่าจ่ายลงให้มากจะยากนาน (สุภาษิตสอนหญิง)

เหมือนเขาเปรียบเทียบความเมื่อยามรัก น้ำผักต้มขมก็ชมหวาน

เมื่อจืดจางห่างเหินเนิ่นนาน น้ำตาลว่าเปรี้ยวไม่เหลียวดู (อภัยนุราช)

Staying on the ผัวๆเมียๆ track... and เจ้าของ. Even in the old days, there were some Thai women who did not want to belong to any body.

In the spirit of the International Women's Day, I'll share with you an old poem written by an anonymous Thai female poet from a long, long time ago (not sure how long). I translated the poem for the book. It goes like this.

มีลูกกวนตัว มีผัวกวนใจ

จะอยู่เป็นสาว ให้หน้าขาวเป็นยองใย

ถึงจะแก่คาบ้าน ก็ไม่หนักกระบาลหัวใคร

Children disturb the body, husband disturbs the mind,

I will stay a pristine old maid, with my pretty face so bright it shines,

Manless to a ripe old age, it's no weight on anybody's head but mine.

cheers,

I think if we try to stay away from stereotyping _any_ group of people, we all can enjoy some really friendly and insightful discussion. Being someone who enjoys teasing myself, I understand that sometimes it's easy to say things that one doesn't really mean or the said thing can be misconstrued. Ironies aren't always appreciated by all people.

But back to the original topic -- Thai women in Thai-farang relationship -- we can't forget that the differences or conflicts in such a relationship has both gender and cultural dimensions. Because one is in a cross-cultural relationship doesn't mean that whatever the other person does can be explained by his/her culture. (I recently got a question from an American, I think, who asked me if the Thai woman who refused to be his GF officially but would stalk and interfere with any of his love interests "for fun", was behaving in a Thai way.)

Apart from extreme cases of psychopaths, male and female, who more or less act in similar ways across cultures, in some respects the difference between the mentally well adjusted women and men can be greater than the difference between Thai-ness and farang-ness. In my observation, many foreign men often jump to a conclusion that their Thai wives/GFs do this or that because "it's Thai culture". Is it? Or is it always? The differences between women and men exist and in full evidence in all cultures, and only add onto the cultural difference in cross-cultural relationships.

On the notion of relationship intimacy, there is probably a cultural difference between the Western and Eastern (Thai) ways. In the West, a couple is a unit of two individuals who share and are expected to share exclusive and intimate lives together--the two lovers have the physical as well as spiritual/intellectual bonding, with families and friends on the peripheries In the East, a couple is _not_ a unit of two individuals, living in exclusive bonding invariably independent from the larger circles of families and friends. The couple exist in a larger community intertwined with other types of familial and friendly relationships. Of course, there are exceptions, but by and large these are the patterns you can more or less count on. Problems arise when people who get in a cross-cultural relationship are unprepared for this type of cultural differences--or worse don't make an effort to understand it and suffering conflicts and unhappiness in the relationship as a result.

cheers,

Boo, thanks for the clarification. Thai or not, your comments were definitely insightful into Thai-farang relationship.

Bifftastic, thank for sharing a great story. Yes, I do love it when people beat the odds.

Paul, the owner of the original question I asked, has told me he has no objection of his question being asked here. He gave me his reaction to the discussion. I feel that we've started the discussion about him, it's only fair to give him his say. However, now that I have read the forum rules I realize I cannot not post his (somewhat longish) reaction here (though he has given me a permission) - so it's on my blog. (It seems, I refrain from violating one only to skirt on another. )

Only if the moderator allows my posting his reaction, I'll post it. Otherwise, here's the gist, Paul is 42 years old and the girlfriends were between 22-32 (one had an MBA from the US). Paul appreciates in particular some of the answers but feels a few were unkind and did not advance the topic.

TheLaughingMan, I don't mean to deflate your enthusiasm, but I did not talk about "sex" per se, nothing hanky panky I'm afraid. The interview was entitled "Thai Love Talk". You can google it.

I agree with Kaewmala's assertion about the divide, but I think urban/rural may be the lesser variable when compared to education, (quality and quantity), and socialization within the family. Some people move to the city, and may live there for many years, but they are still the product of their upbringing. As well, many of the urban poor would be indistinguishable from the rural poor in topics surrounding intellectual curiosity and critical thought....

So very true about the cross-cutting education factor, but I'll also give personality some fair weight as well -- some people ('educated' or not - or having had many years of schooling or not) are not just naturally curious, or reflective. Some with little education have natural intelligence and curiosity and will continue to learn, while many 'educated' people with master's and even a PhD stopped learning at the last degree. Thai people are often surprised to know that you know things beyond what you have studied in school, or that you are working in a field you weren't directly trained for. Not many people are well rounded, but that's a global trend, I think. So is anti-intellectualism... which reminds me of a recent incident that connects anti-intellectualism with Thai female-farang male issues.

Some months ago I gave an interview on a blog. Several questions were about "Thai love", Thai-farang relationship, etc., and one in particular was about the bar scene and what that had to do with love. I gave my answer, which several people seemed to like but a few (farang) guys clearly didn't. What I gathered from their reactions was that, educated professional Thai women had no business talking about sex (one actually suggested I was "asexual" (assuming I was an academic) - what insult! - the 'asexual' part, not the 'academic' part I mean ) and should leave that kind of matter to the 'real' "sexual ambassadors"!! Wonder how the guy thinks how (if?) 'privileged' people (with brains) procreate

Sadly this was not an isolated incident, I notice a certain amount of disdain and contempt in a certain segment of farang men for educated Thai women (when they take a break from white women bashing that is). But there are many mature and decent western men who don't belong to that group.

Wow, great! Thanks so much for all your comments. I was afraid for a moment last night that I was stepping in the wrong house, so to speak. And bina, thanks for vouching for my gender (though I don't use my real name, my sexuality is not -> concealed).

Anyway, your separate comments pretty much cover all major possibilities, and more or less confirmed my initial response to him (he asked the question on my blog - which has a Q&A section). Some insights, esp. from Thai women, he would find of particular interest, so I'll tell him to check your responses here.

So it seems, besides the personalities involved, education and language facilities, there's a possible cultural tendency, at least among some/many Thai spouses - female or male, to be incurious in digging too deep in the life and soul of the other half's than what's immediately relevant to the daily life.

Still, I think, one must be careful to make assumptions based on general cultural traits. A trait may be found in a large number of people in a culture, but culture changes and society is always in transition. In Thailand's case, we also have class and urban/rural dimensions to consider, and of course education (which pings back to the general lack of analytical training and anti-intellectual tendency in Thai society).

I spent my childhood in a rural area but has lived in big cities, I can see the difference. In some respects, the Thai urban/rural divide can be greater than that of the farang/Thai divide -- sometimes we're talking about 18th century and 20th/21st century. I myself am very close to my husband, heart and mind. We talk about everything and ask how the other's day went at the end of the day. I personally was more interested in his intellect, personality & values when we first dated, and never asked any personal questions. (I didn't even know his age for a long time, somehow that didn't weigh on the mind.) And after we got married, I might have asked a few personal, family related questions, but never interrogated him about who he was with before he met me or how many assets or bank accounts he had, etc. I felt he would tell me if he wanted me to know, and sometimes he did.

But then I couldn't really assume that my way of thinking would be representative of many Thai women, knowing (as I've often been told) that I'm not a typical Thai woman. So, it's good to see how other (Thai) women think on this subject.

I'm interested to hear more on class and Thai-farang relationship, but have to stop for now.

ciao,

His questions seem more related to Thai women rather than farang women. It's mostly farang women here. A farang woman would know how to respond, but maybe not be interested. Maybe there are language barriers and many Thai women don't know how to relate to more than just basic questions. Thais and farangs are very different in many ways and similar in others. Unless we knew the specifics it would be hard to relate and give a proper answer. I do know that Thai women who view a farang man as a potential partner seem more interested in the specifics of the man: is he single and available, how old is he, how much money does he make, does he live full time in Thailand, or does he travel back and forth from another country, and is he committed to anyone else. Before those get established the Thai woman is not too interested. I was recently "grilled" by an attractive Thai woman in a similar fashion. I pretty much stated that I don't want a long term relationship and that pretty much ended the matter.

Hi, Ian. Thanks for your input.

I apologize if I have grated any sensibility, but I really did come here expecting to get some women's perspectives (Thai and expat women as I said in the description line) because it is possible that expat women having lived long enough in Thailand may be able to relate to Thai women and shed some light as well. And what a surprise! All men so far. :-)

Anyway, I agree that he did not give enough specifics, so it could have been any number of things. I sometimes get questions from farang men asking if Thai women are really like this, like that. Why do they do this or do that, or not do this -- as in this case. Sometimes you can try to give a cultural perspective to the personal behaviors, but sometimes you can't. And one Thai woman cannot speak for all. So, that's why sought out others' views.

I personally don't believe that all Thai women in or seeking a relationship with a foreign man are in it for the material things or only the material things. At least I am not and I know other Thai women who are not. But I am aware that there are a lot of Thai women who are. That is why I wonder if there might really be a pattern of disinterest among some Thai women as far as making an effort to learn and understand more about their farang lovers is concerned. (And your comment is illuminating, thank you. :-)) I am romantic, and believe that, even if a woman might be primarily interested in material security, at least she can make an effort to learn about her lover/husband because that will make the relationship go a long way.

I've seen some Thai-farang couples and have some suspicion that that might not be the case. But I resist jumping to conclusions because you don't know what really goes on between couples. Hence, asking for others' views.

I was curious about what a Thai woman is feeling when she refers to her husband or partner as her เจ้าของ. I have heard it in both Thai songs and in daily conversation.

Obviously from a Western perspective it would not be understood or accepted, I was just wondering what a Thai lady was feeling emotionally when making such a statement. Is there a sense that she is the property of her husband or more that the husband is her lifelong protector, guardian?

J

As I've never used such a term with my man, I can't tell you exactly how it feels. It is true that เจ้าของ means "owner", but the term is used to refer to girlfriend/wife as well, so it's not a one-way thing. This I believe dilutes the otherwise arcane connotation that the husband/lover is the "owner" his wife/lover.

To put things in perspective, the word for husband in Thai สามี (which has its root in Sanskrit 'swamin') means not only husband, but "master," "owner," "lord". But then again, most Thai women, I suspect don't think of its meaning when using it to call their husbands (many of them don't know it - just think it only means 'husband'). I myself use the term สามี when referring to my husband in Thai because the alternative (a more authentic Thai word) ผัว is considered impolite (while เมีย is much less so - much to discuss there).

So, when Thai women tease each other, e.g. one just got a boyfriend, fiance or husband, that she มีเจ้าของแล้วนะ. In this sense, it means more like "she's no longer available" (not that she now "has an owner" - though that's what it means literally). I suspect the feeling would be more of one of happiness mixed with a little pride (if the "เจ้าของ" is the one a woman is happy with).

Tell him he needs to learn to be more creative and keep your posts on other forums to other forums. What's said out of school stays out of school.

Thanks for your comment. And btw I did not cross-post. Only asked it here. Hope that's ok.

Hi Ladies (& any gents here),

I was hanging around the Thai Language Forum, sharing my (Thai female) perspective on language and the Thai romantic culture. There aren't many women in that forum (I'm still new here), so I took up Bina's invitation to come here. Today I wrote on a topic that needed input from women in particular.

I was answering a question from a farang male reader (on my blog) asking me a question in the subject line -- not really in the bedroom aspect -- but about sharing & getting to know one another in the relationship beyond the superficial.

He was wondering whether it's possible that Thai women could be typically incurious to find out more deeply about the foreign lover.

Here's the beginning of my blog:

Are we? (Curious Thai women lovers, hold it!! Please don’t flog me! — cowering) (Hands still blocking head) It’s not my question, girls. Really. One curious (farang) mind wants to know. His name is Paul. …

Paul wants to know why none of his several long-term and short-term Thai (ex-)girlfriends ever seemed to want to get to know more about him as a person. He didn’t say this, but I guess he must have felt like a serial foreign census respondent, being asked the same basic demographic questions: “where do you come from,” “have you ever been married,” “how many children do you have.”

In his own words [chopped off a bit]:

----

I gave my answer on my blog but am interested in knowing what other women think (Thai or otherwise). You can see the rest of the article on the blog or give your comment here. Thanks and looking forward to reading your views.

Original text in Thinglish <<<<<HBD zom&fair na jaa kiss kiss hug hug **luv u mak2 jaa ~*>>>>

"HBD, It's Zom & Fair, kiss kiss, hug hug, love you very much"

I suspect, Zom & Fair are names of two girls - they seem to express themselves in doubles.

กระดังงาลนไฟ /krà-dang-ngaa lon fai/, lit. "smoked ilang-ilang" (fragrant flower) = mature, sexually experienced woman (cougar candidate?)

Not exactly correct.

กระดังงา is an uninteresting flower, at least until you burn it ลนไฟ and then it smells really good.

Just like a woman, after being married, now knows what makes a man happy (in all the ways a man wants). She'll be much better at seduction, etc.

This woman is typically older, and can be divorced, but doesn't need to be. But be careful when you say this to a divorced woman, it can potentially piss her off

"Uninteresting" or no would be subjective, ฝรั่งน่ารัก (หรือไม่ ยังไม่ฟันธง). But kradangnga is a fragrant flower. It has long, slender, creamy whit-colored petals, which are very fragrant. (It ain't called "Cananga odorata" in Latin for nothin', buddy.)

The additional definition you gave is more or less correct: when held over a fire (ลนไฟ) (not burnt - เผาไฟ), the fragrant is even more alluring. A woman who has had sexual experience, has bloomed sexually (and yes, knowing her way in the bedroom), has that particular mature woman's appeal. In the old day a woman would have had to be married, or often divorced and once again available to be admired as such (for it would be impolite to refer to a married woman as a กระดังงาลนไฟ). These days, married or divorced (or unmarried) women can be "smoked ilang-ilang".

We have different kinds of divorcee, among them the real one แม่หม้าย /mÊE maay/, แม่หม้ายผัวเผลอ /mÊE maay phǔua phlǒoe/ - as I explain in my book.

Also note that the definition given on Twitter must fit 140 characters, so I do the best I can.

Better get back to work now.

ciao,

I used the phrase หย่าหึงนะ ไม่ใช่ความผิดผมที่หล่อจนสาวตรึม on my girl as an experiment the other day . . . mostly to get a reaction . . .

She laughed . . . at me

guess not for incorrect use of language

Your blog looks intriguing.

I've subscribed.

Thanks, makescents and Baa_Mang for visiting.

This morning I tweeted this:

กระดังงาลนไฟ /krà-dang-ngaa lon fai/, lit. "smoked ilang-ilang" (fragrant flower) = mature, sexually experienced woman (cougar candidate?)

I try to tweet at least one or two words/expressions like this everyday. Those on Twitter can check me out and decide if you want to follow me.

I also put tweet feed on my blog for those who aren't on Twitter - "My Latest Tweets" on the right sidebar.

I'm contemplating writing a piece about Thai "cougars" and "sugar mommies" (the later my own word, haven't seen or heard it used by others, but there's at least one Thai word for it).

Any ideas?

ciao,

kaewmala, I know this phrase isn't used by Thais, and its not a 100% direct translation, but I've used it several times with my Thai friends and have been entirely understood:

"เค้าเป็นของเล่นของผู้หญิงคนนี้อ่ะ"

Also, I've only heard of 'boy toy' . . . google says 800k for 'boy toy', 500k for 'toy boy' . . . so I win

You the man, ฝรั่งน่่ารัก. You win. Feel better?

Actually I've heard both, and have always wondered what's the difference between the two.

So, I looked up Urban Dictionary and got the most accepted definitions of the two:

boy toy = A male used specifically by females for pleasure and fun when their husband or boy friend is not giving them enough attention or in case of break up or divorce

toy boy = Female cradle-robbing. The much younger male partner to an older or middle-aged woman

In the literary sense, "boy toy" is a toy who is a boy) and "toy boy" a boy who is a toy. Either, methinks, would naturally qualify as a ของเล่น, a "plaything."

Now another term comes to mind: ผู้ชายป้ายเหลือง (lit. "yellow sign man"), as in for "temporary parking".

ciao,

In case anyone is interested in knowing Thai slang for "toy boy", I've answered a question from a reader on my blog. In short, the slang term "toy boy" does not have a perfect equivalent in Thai, but there are some close approximates.

เด็ก /dèk/ or เด็กเลี้ยง /dèk líiang/ — literally “a kid” or “a kid in one's support”

The latter slang term has an origin in an old Thai tradition called เลี้ยงต้อย /líiang tÔOy/ in which (often) a man or (less often) a woman, raised and groomed a child to become wife or husband (when the child “grew up” and became “old” enough to become one). This is why sometimes, less often though not unheard of, a toy boy (more often toy girl in the Thai case) might be called เด็กเลี้ยงต้อย /dèk líiang tÔOy/ of the sugar daddy or sugar mommy (cougar).

For a fuller explanation, see my blog post today, which contains a picture of มาช่า the Thai famous celeb with her "toy boy".

Also on the previous post on "wet top of staircase" I added a YouTube video and a link to a luuk tung song หัวบันไดไม่แห้ง.

ciao,

anyway back to slangy stuff, you guys ever hear เสี่ยวจ๊าบลาว ? Kinda like saying someone is not cool, their style is LAO..

Not that particular phrase. But calling something Lao, in Thai, is a bit insulting . . . for example:

หน้าดูลาวมากเลย (his face is ugly like a Laotian)

นั่นคือลาวเลย (thats sooooo Lao)

อย่าทำแบบลาวว่ะ (don't be so f'ing Lao, ok?)

(I made up those examples on the spot, so perhaps a grammatical mistake or two, but you get the idea)

ps - In the first example, if I swap Lao for Korean, it'd be taken as a huge compliment.

Perhaps หน้าลาว(มาก), โคตรลาว, หน้าเสี่ยว

However, I would not use these terms as they are degrading to the wonderful Lao -- and Isaan -- people. (The reference is not only limited to Laotians.) And Thai superiority complex hardly needs more encouragement.

Last year I was on the selection committee and interviewed Thai youth candidates to join a youth cross-cultural exchange program (joined by selected youths from 10 SEA countries). One of the questions I asked was on this kind of reference (as successful candidates will inevitably mingle with Lao youth). The answers were interesting.

I asked my girl, and she said กระใด is an old word while people today only use บันใด. My guess is that the word in the phrase was changed to keep up with the times. 10 years in the US has kept you behind the times

Either that, or I'm just old. Or your girl is just young.

But a new slang comes very close: สาวตรึม /sǎaw truem/, which means [men] "attracting a lot of women". It gives an image of a guy at the center with women surrounding, swarming over him.

I'll experiment on my girl with this word when I get the chance

So how do I use this word in a sentence? ผู้ชายหล่อคนนี้สาวตรึมจังเลย? หย่าขี้หึงนะ ไม่ใช่ความผิดผมที่เป็นแบบสาวตรึมนะ?

ผู้ชายหล่อคนนี้สาวตรึมจังเลย >> better ผู้ชายคนนี้สาวตรึม

หย่าขี้หึงนะ ไม่ใช่ความผิดผมที่เป็นแบบสาวตรึมนะ >>better หย่าหึงนะ ไม่ใช่ความผิดผมที่หล่อจนสาวตรึม

Hmmmm almost looks like 'aristocrats' and 'aristocracy'.

From wikipedia: "An aristocrat is a member of an aristocracy, a form of government in which a few of the most prominent citizens rule."

thanks!

In the context you raised your question:

The UDD leaders announced earlier that the red-shirts would hold a mass rallies on March 12-14 to force the government to dissolve the House and put an end to the role of the elite bureaucrats, known as the Amataya.

The word "Amataya" would be spelled อำมาตย /am-màat-tà-ya/ or อำมาตย์ /am-màat/ in Thai (referring to a person or persons). Originally a Sanskrit word, it means (in the original use in Thai language, if not also in Sanskrit, I presume) "royal servants" or "court officials" or royal advisers (like the privy councilors).

อำมาตยาธิปไตย - Amatyadhipatya, refers to the system of government, which the blog article quoted by eljefe2 explains extensively.

. . . is there an equivalent for a guy who has girls always chasing him? I've been told no, but your article suggests you can use this phrase for guys but that its really rare.

Sorry, forgot to answer your question. Cannot think of an old idiomatic equivalent for men (different standards of propriety and expectations regarding men's and women's behavior as you'd expect). But a new slang comes very close: สาวตรึม /sǎaw truem/, which means [men] "attracting a lot of women". It gives an image of a guy at the center with women surrounding, swarming over him.

BTW, the idiom you mentioned is actually หัวกระไดไม่แห้ง /hǔa krà-dai mai hÊEng/- it's กระได /krà-dai/ not บันได /ban-dai/, although the two words mean exactly the same: staircase or stairs.

บันใด was the word used in my case by two Thai ladies . . . is there an equivalent for a guy who has girls always chasing him? I've been told no, but your article suggests you can use this phrase for guys but that its really rare.

Interestingly enough I have never heard anyone say หัวบันไดไม่แห้ง /hǔa ban-dai mai hÊEng/, but apparently it is also used by some (many?) people. I searched and found The Royal Institute's explanation of this expression, listing only หัวกระไดไม่แห้ง /hǔa krà-dai mai hÊEng/ but with a note that "some people may use หัวบันไดไม่แห้ง".

The eminent expert Dr. Kanjana Naaksakul ศ. ดร.กาญจนา นาคสกุล illuminates on กระได and บันได here. Basically she said, กระได is an informal, spoken term, and though she did not say it but implied that it is the original term for stairs (used in the idiom concerned), and บันได is a new (contemporary), written term. She did not mention anything about บันได being used in the idiom or not.

Incidentally I was planning to write more on stairs-related terms on my blog - in a day or two. So, this piece of new information comes in handy. Thanks, farangnahrak. (I'm not pedantic - at least try not to be. When enough people adopt a newer version of an expression, then it is likely to stick or even replace the original expression eventually.)

kaewmala...

well, that makes about two or three thai women on the board... anhows, kaemala i found your blog and found the song love over the skyline u had translated ... [snip] ... i will do a comparison... )

anyways, cme visit the ladies section, we could use some thai women's voices also...

Thanks for the friendly welcome, desi, bina, and farangnahrak. (Here I go again, a deja vu of being among the handful Thai female voices on a discussion board. ) About the translation of the song lyrics of รักข้ามขอบฟ้า, I'd love to see that collectively translated version you mentioned, bina. Without any poetic flair to speak of, I was lucky to string words together to more or less ดำน้ำ* / dam náam/ and made the translation appear vaguely poetic. (*slang, does not mean "to dive" but "to fudge on") I'd to see how others, esp. likely those with better skills, translate it.

Lets hope kaewmala decides to occasionally visit us and help out, and not just promote her book

(not sarcasm, being serious here)

I'll keep an eye out for the book in bookstores. I like to look before I buy

btw, thanks for explaining หัวบันไดไม่แห้ง . . . years ago this Thai lady told me that about herself trying to flirt with me . . . I figured out what it meant, but couldn't for the life of me figure out what it had to do with a wet staircase . . .

farangnahrak, aren't we a bit cynical? But then I think your cynicism is justified (I know other authors who relentlessly promote their own books). However, I have almost no commercial bone in my body, if I have to rely selling my books for a living, I am quite certain I'll starve in no time. Having said that, I wouldn't mind if anyone would buy it .

BTW, the idiom you mentioned is actually หัวกระไดไม่แห้ง /hǔa krà-dai mai hÊEng/- it's กระได /krà-dai/ not บันได /ban-dai/, although the two words mean exactly the same: staircase or stairs. For those who don't know the expression, it literally translates to "wet top of staircase" or "wet top of stairs", meaning heavily trafficked stairs as a result of an extremely attractive daughter of the house, or power and influence of someone in the house. (See more explanation on my blog.)

Also, before anyone gets a wrong impression, I'd better clarify my Thai language abilities. Kham muang คำเมือง(northern Thai dialect) is my mother tongue (like most khon muangs, I only speak it) and central standard Thai is my native tongue. However, I have no linguistic background whatsoever, and cannot claim to even understand, let alone, articulate any Thai grammatical rules. What I can offer is the perspective of a native speaker. I'm particularly interested in the etymology and the cultural aspect of words and meanings -- how they are constructed, used and change over time.

Thanks again, and I'll try to visit regularly.

FWIW, I have been acquainted with Kaewmala for many years and she is the real deal here. ...

Much obliged , Jopha, but you're making me blush with such an excessively glowing introduction. เกินไปหน่อยนะคะ (a little over the top, na Lung). And you confused Thaivisa.com with SCT! This confirms that you are now officially upgraded to อุ้ย /úi/, and no longer Lung.

สะดือด่วน is new to me, a-nowhere-near-true-bilingual-Thai.

Probably teenager slang. I wonder what it means....

anchan42, สะดือด่วน /sà-duue dùan/ ("navel express") is a recent slang, perhaps not yet widely adopted in the mainstream (I don't remember exactly where I got this term - not in any of my slang dictionaries). It means basically the same as ไวไฟ /wai fai/ describing those who are a little "fast" gettng into sexual relations--i.e. sexually loose. I imagine สะดือด่วน has more of a sting than ไวไฟ. Anyone?

ciao, for now

Don’t be alarmed (or prematurely too delighted), there’s nothing hanky-panky here. It's all educational.

Just want to let those interested in learning Thai (esp. its cultural nuances) know of a new resource, a Thai woman (myself) who wrote a book called “sex talk: in search of love and romance,” which is both a kind of dictionary and a cultural discussion from a Thai female perspective on love, romance, sexuality, and male-female relationships in Thai language and culture.

If you like learning Thai idioms and phrases like จับปลาสองมือ (“catch a fish in each hand” or “catch two fish with both hands”) and ตอนให้เป็ดกิน (“cut and feed to the duck”), or wonder what it means by สะดือด่วน (“navel express”) or กินแห้ว (“eat the water chestnut”), you might enjoy discussing with me on my blog (in my signature). I also take questions about Thai language or the cultural aspect of Thai-farang relationship.

Anyone on Twitter can also get short English translation bits of romantic & erotic Thai vocabulary I tweet daily (link to follow me on Twitter on my blog as well). Thanks and hope to see you there (or here).

google translater tells me this

Fishing is second hand describes how English

Literal translation at a whole new level, but cute gibberish

Thai to English by Google is still either gibberish or none at all - not sure which result is better.

I tried ข่มเขาโคขืนให้กินหญ้า at Google and got nothing, but FoxLingo is slightly smarter and returned this: 0 E � �, eat grass