highlander

Land mines, surely that would work

Ask the Koreans

are yew guys talkin' about soccer?

No, it's football

A little girl asked her Mother "what's a prick mummy?"

Mummy replies "That's a mans sexual organ"

The little girl thinks for a moment and says "So what's a c unt then"?

"Oh that's the rest of the man" says Mummy

How do you know when it's bed time at M.J's house

It's when the big hand touches the little hand

I'm about to move to a house out in the sticks after 18 months of fairly bug free life in an 8th floor condo.

My new house is only a couple of weeks away from completion and I have noticed that there are flies and mossies everywhere due to being next to a resevoire.

Does anyone know where I can buy a couple of those blue electric light mossie mashers from?

Also I've been told that a certain shrub can be planted outside doorways which stops flies coming in. Does anyone know anything about this?

Any help will be appreciated

I'm glad that's been cleared up ,I was starting to worry

Laugh Phuket off and come to Pattaya.

The beaches are either none existant or soiled,so no worries there.

To fill your days you could play dodge the mugger ,bribe the copper ,spot the dealer ,hop the balcony ,avoid the lout or even refuse the ladyboy.

Never a dull day here

I must admit that I'm quite put of by the natural blonde Thai's, who dye their roots dark for some reason

Try Apex hotel on second road , opposite soi 4 or 5 ish. Rooms are in your price range although I've never stayed there.

I have eaten the all you can eat brekkie for 99 baht,and I can reccomend that.By the amount of 'couples' I used to see each morning, I would say it is girl friendly

Perhaps he was auditioning for the part of The Man From Atlantis

And missed his cue

My friend Kurgen who can't be with us at Thai visa , has found out he will not be going up country until Monday, so he can make it

He asked me to pass on the message that he's looking forward to seeing everybody again

Any shade as long as they are horny and willing

Our lager,

Which art in barrels,

Hallowed be thy drink.

Thy will be drunk,(I will be drunk),

At home as it is in the tavern.

Give us this day our foamy head,

And forgive us our spillage,

As we forgive those who spill against us.

And lead us not into incarceration,

But deliver us from hangovers.

For thine is the beer,the bitter and the lager,

Barmen

Dave's never had the horn