ghengis

Aom was one of those larger than life characters whose personality had to make up for the fact she was a deaf mute and living on edge in the precarious existence as a poor foreign woman living in Thailand, just trying to survive. Having suffered so much abuse, it is difficult for women like her to truly accept someone with a pure and honest heart, but it seems that, in Richard, she found such a person. Its sounds as if life with her was a roller-coaster of ups and downs, but probably never dull. I have never met her, but somehow I feel that I know her. Aom's story has touched many souls.

zint

If I were you I would cancel the wedding and send the girlfriend back to live with her parents. Tell her, if she wants to get married then there will be no or very little sinsot.

She then has the choice to get married or lose face. Alternatively, don't get married if it is going to cause too many financial problems.

The problem is that the more generous you are with some Thai women, the more demanding they become.

My wife has lost a total of about 500,000b of money she lent to various "friends" and work colleagues. My advice - forget it unless you are happy for the money never to be repaid.

lovejoy - you must have heard the joke ...

How do you make a small fortune in Thailand?

First, start out with a large fortune and then start a business.

I met a couple at a barbecue in the UK recently. The husband was keen to spend as much time in Thailand because he liked the weather, beach and relaxed lifestyle. The wife (who came from a poor Issan village) was very keen to stay in the UK because she wanted security and a better prospects for her and her children.

Thailand is great as long as you have money. It is not so great if you don't. Expats are a clique of well-off individuals who see Thailand through rose tinted glasses. Most Thai people would gladly swap their lifestyle in Thailand with that of a European, American or Australian lifestyle.

What percentage of those people who are living in Thailand are in a position to live there for the rest of their lives?

Those people who have sold the house in the UK (or other western countries) and arrive in Thailand with a pension equivalent of 40k/month or better can expect to be in a position to retire comfortably in Thailand.

Many other long-term farang Thai residents who don't have a secure long-term income face the prospect of being forced to return to their home country to eak out their retirement on state social security benefits.

I was speaking with a guy last weekend at a party at one of the wife's Thai friends in the UK. He has been married for eight years to a Thai lady and spent a year working in Pattaya recently.

During his time in Pattaya he witnessed countless occasions where farang men were losing their life savings to greedy Thai women, lawyers and business partners. The sad thing is that most farangs are not interested in 'the reality' of life in Thailand and are far happier in their dream of tropical paradise until they wake up one morning to discover it was a nightmare.

Unlike the UK, Thailand does not look after the old and sick. If you have money and are not ill then life in Thailand can be very good, but living in Thailand is like a high wire act with no safety-net.

Tomorrow I am going to the wedding of a Thai lady we met a few weeks ago and her UK boyfriend. They met a year ago in Thailand and she got a 6 month fiancée visa in August 2004 so that she could visit the UK. I think they got the settlement visa because it was easier than applying for a visitor visa (perhaps due to her not having a proper job in Thailand). Almost at the last minute they decided to get married in the UK before her visa expires in February.

The strange thing is that she wants to go back to Issan immediately and buy land (from her family) and start building a house for the next few months. The land is going to cost 150,000b and building the house a load more. Considering the fact that their relationship is not that secure, the last thing they need is an extended separation immediately after they get married. There are already signs of serious problems with their relationship which the Thai girl has confided to my wife.

The guy getting married seems to be a little green on Thai legal matters and property law. I don't think he realises that all the money he puts into a Thai property he may never see again if the marriage has problems and the property is in his wife's name. I think he feels that he is investing is a retirement home - he is 58, she is 38 - but he has no property in the UK and needs to save in order to have a pension to live on in his retirement.

I can't help feeling that this guy is being railroaded into parting with his life savings and will be left with nothing if things don't work out. After all - renting in Thailand is cheap - you don't have to own a house.

My wife hated living ion the UK for the first six months and she was very homesick. Now, almost three years later she prefers living here to Thailand. She even likes the weather here more because she doesn't like the strong sunshine in Thailand.

The problems when Thais first arrive in the UK are due to a lack of friends and boredom. After attending free English Classes (ESOL) and getting out and about, she has integrated very well. Most of her friends are women from her language classes of various nationalities (Chinese, Indonesian, Iranian, Indian ...) plus a few Thai ladies we have met over here.

Of the Thai women in the UK, the majority seem to come from poor Issan backgrounds and only a few have University education like my wife. Thais can be very hierarchical and those with a poor background or "suspect" former occupation may be looked down upon by other Thais. Negative comments from UK people seem to be based more on jealousy - when a man has a much better looking Thai wife than you might expect if married to a UK woman. In general, most people are accepting of Thai people here, partly because of the large number of immigrants.

If both partners are compatible, then married life outside Thailand can work very well. This is true for all types of Thai women.

WW3 - don't forget China, Taiwan and North Korea. There seems to be a lot of problems brewing not far from Thailand.

If you want to make general statements about Thai women of the night you might want include the following:

1. Many come from poorest areas in Thailand
   
2. Many have children, brother and sisters and parents to support
   
3. Many have poor education, so the prospects of a good job are limited
   
4. Many are not receiving the support of ex-husbands or boyfriends to look after their children
   
5. Many have children at an early age
   
6. Many have been abused by people in their home village
   
7. Many have left their village where they had no hope to try find a future
   

If you were to force these women to go back and work in paddy fields for a living, most would not thank you.

Prostitutes = Victims?

This depends on the circumstances of the people involved. Many farangs feel more like victims than oppressors when they run into bar girls. These women are usually in control of their lives and it is their choice to work in this business or not. The money these girls earn often supports parents and children back in poor villages. As such the girls may not consider themselves as 'suffering', and they may enjoy a 'high status' amongst their peers because of their relatively high wealth.

However, there is a murkier side to this business. Human trafficking is rife in Thailand. These women are definitely victims.

In the January-July 2004 period, as violence gathered momentum, 36 bomb attacks occurred in the three Muslim majority provinces of Pattani, Yala and Narathiwat, according to Royal Thai Police statistics. But, in August, insurgents increased bombings with often co-ordinated attacks, or attempted attacks, taking place with rising frequency. Using devices of varying sizes and explosive composition, triggered by mobile phones and timing devices, the August campaign targeted Narathiwat and Yala, while leaving Pattani unscathed.

From New bombings fuel Thai security fears. It appears that terrorism is gathering momentum in Southern Thailand, but as these bombs have not been directed at tourists or foreign embassies/businesses people assume that this is not a problem for farangs.

If the separatists want to make a bigger impression they may target larger cities, in a similar way to the IRA bombing London, Manchester etc. Maybe it is just a matter of time.

47 is old enough to start again and pick up the pieces before you retire. When you do meet someone new and they ask 'are you single' you won't want the ex-wife like a millstone around your neck. If she wants a divorce, let her have one. Later, it might cause you a lot more trouble and money to sort it out.

How long does a Thai-farang marriage last? Are there any statistics?

In the UK around 50% of marriages fail, but nearly half of couple living together choose not to marry. Of the half that don't get married only 5% are together after 10 years.

If a man wants to live with a Thai lady in the UK, he is forced to get married to her in order to get a settlement visa. Men often meet a Thai lady on holiday, and after a few short trips to Thailand they decide to live together in the UK. Many of these couples have only lived together for a few short months before they make a committment to marry. If this was a farang-farang marriage, the decision to marry may be put off for a few years, and possibly indefinitely.

So comparing marriage success if Thai-farang marriages with farang-farang marriages may be a little misleading. If you make the assertion that both types of relationships had similar characteristics, you would expect the Thai-farang marriage failure rate to be higher because this group contains a lot more 'immature relationships'.

Also, many Thai-farang relationships seem to be between couples with large disparity of age, education and wealth. In other words, Thai-farang couples are often between couples with less compatibility than you would expect in the west.

Anacdotal Evidence does seem to suggest that Thai-farang marrages have a higher failure rate than farang-farang marriages - maybe 2/3 of marriages fail. However, if you take into consideration the length of the relationship before marriage and basic compatibility issues you may well find that Thai-farang marriages are more stable than their equivalent western counterpart for the following reasons:

1. Thai women are loyal and respect their husbands more than western women
   
2. Family is very strong in Thai culture
   
3. Thai women appreciate the support given by their husbands whereas western women take it for granted
   

In summary - raw statistics may give a misleading impression. If you find the right Thai lady, your chances of a successful marriage are very good.

Comments are back on - only for registered users - see http://www.mangosauce.com/archives/000369.html#comments

Check this out ... Divorce In Thailand

It looks like a wife can get a divorced in Thailand without the husband's concent, but this takes time and money going through the courts.

She can own land, but may have to prove that the money is hers when she buys land if married to a farang.

p.s. Why would you want to stay married to this woman?

I bought a "Rolex" in Patong Beach. They had three versions of the same watch - I got the most realistic version with the rolex sweeping hand movement. Cost about 1,200b.

Funny - I didn't feel ripped off. I think the real one costs about 240,000b

My ex-wife got pregnant 6 months after we split up back in 1996. This was a mistake as it was a short-term fling and she about to split up with him as he was a bit of a jerk. The father wanted her to have an abortion, which she refused and would not pay maintenance until the CSA forced him to. She decided that he should pay less and not see the child (which he was never interested in anyway).

She later got remarried and then wanted the new husband to act as the 'father' of the baby.

The moral of this story:

1. Staying together for the sake of a baby may not be a good idea.
   
2. In the long term the biological father may be surplus to requirements when the mother funds a new partner.
   
3. Some people are not suited to the role of father.
   

If a farang woman dresses like a tart, that is a bit of fun and nobody would accuse her of being a 'lady of the night'. Thai women do not have the same freedom to choose their wardrobe, since they might well be accused of coming from the wrong background - by farangs and by other Thais.

Via the internet, and it cost me nothing. A few days of emails, then MSN then met a couple of weeks later. Married 6 months after we first met.

Even if YOU don't know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice...or ought to consider practicing.

See if you are a Buddhist or have other beliefs ... http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

Is this a private fight, or can anyone join in?

The issue here is the conflict between "desire to help" and "fear of unlocking the Pandora’s box of never ending future financial requests". The amount is small, but so too is the thin end of a wedge.

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Say “No” and forget about it. Otherwise, all the agonising over this will destroy the relationship and the next request for cash will be twice as hard to bear.

Thai women don't all live "hand to mouth". With an income of 10,000b/month many Thai women will be able to save a considerable amount. If the girlfriend is so concerned with giving her mother 10,000b I am sure she could come up with the cash herself.

Thai women with children to support are always on the lookout for a nice farang to take care of them. Because you have been friends with someone, you do not have a moral obligation to support them for the rest of their lives.

Is there anything I have missed out ?

We will of only been together for just over seven months by November

1. If divorced you will need the original degree absolute.
   
2. Certified English translations of your girlfriend's Single Licence (evidence of not being already married etc.), Divorce Decree etc.
   
3. Certified English translations of any Thai land ownership documents, Thai Birth certificates (also for any children of your girlfriend)
   

Also your girfriend needs to know your name, when you met, the date you proposed to get married, where you live in the UK, the date you intend to get married. A recent Thai lady failed to get a Visa because she didn't know some of these answers. Typical Interview Questions ...

1. What is your Husband's name?
   
2. What is his date of birth?
   
3. Where/when did you first meet?
   
4. Where did you work and what did you do there?
   
5. How long after meeting him did you go to his hotel?
   
6. When did he propose to you ?
   
7. Is his house big/small ?
   
8. How many bedrooms and what other rooms where there in the house?
   
9. Did he say he would send you money and did he?
   
10. What do you both like doing together?
    

Some of the questions may be a little personal. She should be prepared for them.

The advice on Settlement Visas (as borrowed from Thailand-Uk forum) is as follows ...

The following is a collation of advice and information given in both official embassy documentation and by a large number of forum members with experience of being party to applications for Settlement Visas to the UK. This posting does not constitute 'the work' of the poster beyond being a collation of advice and information from elsewhere. The groundwork has been done by many others who have been credited where possible. Usually credit is given in cases where specific gems of advice and information have been found in specific posts. The second section dealing with an interpretation of a possible 'best' approach to building a folder of supporting evidence is based on a large variety of threads and individual posts many feeding off prior advice and information offered up on the forum so it is difficult to ascertain original sources of ideas. As much as is possible in a process that can vary in tone and nature speculation is avoided and as much first hand advice and information as possible is made use of. Whilst not claiming to be exhaustive it is hoped that this post manages to identify the most important issues and save on a certain amount of searching through prior threads and posts on the matter.

This posting consists of three key sections:

Section One - What the Embassy says they require

Section Two - Building a folder of supporting evidence the Forum way!

Section Three - Specific items of useful advice and information

Section One - What the Embassy says they require

Information on the Embassy Web site:

British Embassy Bangkok

Visas

Application Forms & Guidance

whilst generally being very clear and helpful does not go so far as to provide a detailed and focussed breakdown of what might be required in terms of supporting evidence.

Subsequent to submitting an application the Applicant can usually expect to be contacted within 5 days by the embassy, via telephone, with a follow up letter and standard information sheets. It is particularly useful to know the content of these information sheets before submitting the application, especially if you are hoping to be granted a 'short interview' and thus aim to submit all required supporting evidence along with the application form (to do so is not required - some people rightfully choose to take the folder of evidence along to an interview offered at a later date).

Copies of visa interview slips have been lodged by Forum moderators in the Photo Album section of the Forum. Read these first:

Visa Interview Slips

The following is transcribed from a document sent to an Applicant June 2004 that appears to be updated in terms of formatting if not specific content. Notes added in [square parenthesis]are those of this post's author and generally indicate which party, Applicant or Sponsor, might typically be the one that needs to collate specific items of documentary evidence.

    quote:

    British Embassy Settlement Visa Support Document Advice Check List

    To enable us to consider your application please provide those documents listed below. If you have already submitted any of the documents indicated, please regard this as a check list only. Please note that this list is not exhaustive and an Interviewing Entry Clearance Officer may request additional documents.

    Please provide original documents plus one photocopy of each document

    [in practice different Embassy employees offer different advice on whether copies are required or not, and a number of Forum members have had no problem submitting originals only. The above is what is stated on the Embassy’s check list for Applicants]

    1. Your previous passport(s) or a copy of the police report, if lost [APPLICANT]

    2. Full copy of your husband / wife or fiancé(e)s passport showing all stamps and visas for UK and Thailand [sPONSOR]

    3. Evidence of your financial position (original bank book(s), wage slips, land & property deeds etc) [APPLICANT]

    4. Evidence of your employment (past and present) together with evidence of salary paid [APPLICANT]

    5. Evidence of contact between yourself and your husband / wife or fiancé(e) - eg: e-mails, letters, telephone bills, cards and/or photos [APPLICANT & SPONSOR]

    6. Birth / Marriage / Divorce / Death certificate(s) as appropriate to show you and your husband / wife or fiancé(e)'s marital status [APPLICANT & SPONSOR]

    7. Documents detailed on the attached sheet concerning your sponsor's ability to support and accommodate you in the UK [sPONSOR]

    8. Birth certificate(s) of all your children regardless of whether you intend to take them to the UK at this point [APPLICANT]

    9. Documents specified below [the embassy may or may not add an additional list of required documentation here but naturally you will not know what, if any, additional documentation might be required until the application has been made and the Applicant has been contacted by the embassy]

    Support and Accommodation

    As a sponsor you may be asked to provide evidence that you can support and/or accommodate the person whom you are sponsoring to enter the United Kingdom. The usual form of evidence that is acceptable to this office to support your claim to be able to provide financial support to someone would be:

    a. Wage/Salary slips for the last three months.

    (To show that you have a regular income adequate to provide the level of support required.)

    b. If you have your own company in the United Kingdom you should provide attested copies of the company's annual accounts for the last two years.

    c. If you are self-employed you should submit attested copies of your last two years' Income Tax returns.

    d. Your last six months' bank statements.

    (To give an indication of your financial standing and level of continuing financial commitments.)

    If you are sponsoring someone who wishes to settle in the United Kingdom as your dependant (i.e. wife fiancé/e, child, etc.) you have to show that there will be adequate accommodation for them, and you, in accommodation of your own or which you and they will accommodate solely. Acceptable evidence of this would be:

    a. Full details of the accommodation available:

    (i.e. number of rooms and their intended use e.g. bedroom, kitchen, living-room, etc.)

    b. Full details of all those people who will be occupying the accommodation, including details of their ages and sex.

    c. If you are buying the accommodation on a mortgage, we will need to see evidence of this from your mortgage company.

    d. If you will be renting property, we will need to see an attested copy of the Tenancy Agreement which should be for a minimum period of six months.

    This leaflet is for guidance only. Each visa application is considered on its own merits and, as such, the documents described above must not be considered the definitive list of documentary requirements required in support of visa applications.

Section Two - Building a folder of supporting evidence the Forum way!

There is certainly no fixed and sure format for a folder of supporting evidence. The most important thing to consider is making it as easy as possible for the ECO (Entry Clearance Officer) to quickly locate the information they are looking for. As well as helping to ensure the ECO does not inadvertently miss a critical item of evidence there is anecdotal evidence on the forum of the mood of ECOs being enhanced when presented with neatly laid out folders containing all the required evidence. With these factors in mind you may wish to consider ensuring there is a clearly presented table of contents at the start of the file, using clear markers to indicate sections, prefixing each section with a table of specific contents (section overview) and adding explanations for the relevance of each item to the application, etc. An A4 lever arch file using clear plastic A4 sleeves to collate related documentation might suit the purpose but there is no hard and fast rule on the best way to store and present all this information. Keep asking yourself "Were I the ECO would this make my job easier?"

The following is a hybrid layout for a folder of supporting evidence based on a variety of threads and posts. Quite a number of items might be specific to the case of an individual Applicant and/or Sponsor or may be indicative of the wish of one or both parties to take all measures possible to avoid the embassy adding anything to Section 9 of the Visa Interview Slip : "Documents specified below" (see Section One of this post above). Whilst it is always better to be over prepared than to be under prepared (particularly if you're going to be 6000 miles from home when the folder is submitted) don't panic if you see an item listed below that you yourself would not have access to. The items listed in Section One above are the critical ones. Forum members having just submitted their folders of evidence often joke about having forgotten to submit the kitchen sink (or more esoteric variations on that sentiment) so treat the following as a guide of potential content whilst bearing in mind the critical items listed in Section One.

    quote:

    Application for Settlement Visa to the UK

    Applicant - name of applicant

    Sponsor - name of sponsor

    CONTENTS

    INTRODUCTION

    Section overview

    Cover letter from Applicant

    Cover letter from Sponsor

    [there is no specification of requirement from the Embassy for cover letters though many Forum members like to provide these - the nature of the cover letter is open to the parties concerned but might give a brief overview of the reasons for application and sum up key points being provided as supporting evidence, when and where you met, your current occupation, marriage plans, etc. etc.]

    Correspondence between Applicant/Sponsor and Embassy [in cases where correspondence has indeed taken place between both parties prior to submission]

    KEY DOCUMENTS – APPLICANT

    Section overview

    Passport [photocopy of identification page and any pages containing prior visa stamps - the passport itself should be taken to the interview]

    ID Card [photocopy - a Thai national is required by law to carry their ID at all times]

    Original Divorce Certification [as appropriate, and with English translation in such cases]

    Marriage Certificate [with English translation as appropriate][for those submitting an application for a Settlement Visa as a spouse this can be supplied at interview stage - see Section Three below]

    Birth Certificate [with English translation]

    Employment History [with formal letters from employers where possible]

    Financial Details [see Section One above]

    KEY DOCUMENTS – SPONSOR

    Section overview

    Full Copy of Passport (identification page certified by a practicing UK solicitor) [see note below in Section Three - Advice from John on the Sponsor's passport]

    Original Divorce Certification [as appropriate]

    Birth Certificate

    FINANCIAL SUPPORT

    [Please pay attention to Support and Accommodation under Section One above]

    Section overview

    Correspondence from Employer [eg: confirmation of employment status, duration, current salary, contributions to pension scheme, etc.]

    Salary Slips

    P60 End of Year Certificate

    Bank Statements

    Details of any savings schemes, pension schemes, investments, etc.

    Attested copies of company's annual accounts for last two years [for business owners only]

    Attested copies of last two years' Income Tax returns [for self-employed only]

    ACCOMMODATION

    [Please pay attention to Support and Accommodation under Section One above]

    Section overview

    Brief Description of Accommodation (including photographs) [pay close attention to items a and b of the second part of Support and Accommodation under Section One above]

    Mortgage documents, deeds, etc.

    Tenancy Agreement [for those renting their home]

    Correspondence with Owner/Agency [for those renting their home, including written approval from the owner/agent for the Applicant to take up residence]

    Council Tax Bill

    Utility Bills [a sample of recent bills]

    EVIDENCE OF CONTACT

    Section overview

    Record of visits [any flight stubs and other travel receipts available, hotel receipts where possible with names of both Applicant and Sponsor detailed, photographs of both parties together - a few from each visit spent together will suffice – some Forum members have suggested it can be useful to present photographs of the Applicant and Sponsor with other family members though on balance do not worry if you do not have access to such photographs]

    Itemised Phone Statements

    Used International Calling Cards

    Letters

    Receipts for gifts sent (flowers, etc.) for birthdays, Valentine's Day, etc.

    Email Correspondence [see notes in Section Three below]

    Transcripts of Real Time Online Communications [see notes in Section Three below]

Section Three - Specific items of useful advice and information

Advice from John on submitting a Settlement Visa application for a spouse, prior to actual marriage

    quote:My wife, as she would become, submitted the application for spouse visa before we were married. The covering letter should give an idea of the date the marriage will be registered at an Amphur and ask for an interview date on or after then.

[Effectively if you're applying for a Settlement Visa for a spouse but you're yet to actually legally marry, you can still submit the application for a spouse visa and supply the marriage certificate at interview].

Advice from John on the Sponsor's passport

    quote: A number of forum members have handed in application form and evidence together and because the sponsor was present at the time of the handing in, his (or her) passport was included and the embassy was invited to check the real passport against an uncertified photocopy that had been included. Then the embassy would hand back the real British passport, leaving them with a photocopy that they themselves have certified for accuracy.

[Following the above course of action would preclude the additional expense of certification by a practicing UK solicitor. Otherwise the certification process is a simple matter of walking in to any high street solicitor's practice in the UK with your passport. As of May 2004 this poster paid UKP 7.50 for such a service and whilst there is no set rate for said service it should cost no more than UKP 10.00]

Advice from Tobias on the Sponsor's financial status

    quote:There are no set rules for how much money you need to demonstrate you have available to show that there would be no recourse to public funds. However, what I know for certain is that ECOs and adjudicators at appeals take the figures for Income Support as a guideline for how much is needed for someone to live on. I believe UKP 54.65 is the current jobseekers’ allowance rate for a single person.

    So, by way of example, if you are able to show that you have in excess of UKP 50 or so available each week (after all your outgoings and living expenses are taken care of) then you should have no problem meeting the ‘no recourse to public funds’ criteria.

Advice from BigRed on the Sponsor’s financial status

    quote: For those of us of more advanced years it would be worth including the annual statement from your pension scheme showing expected income when you retire.

Information sourced by Mark W on how many people are allowed to occupy accommodation on a permanent basis

Look here

Advice from Tobias for tenants in a quandary with regards to proving the Applicant will be allowed to take residence in the Sponsor's rented accommodation

Look here

Advice from Turbo on itemised phone bills

    quote:In my folder I put in my itemised mobile bills with all the calls to the discount numbers highlighted with a luminous pen. As well as nomi-call I have also used superline, easy dial & 18866 for calling LOS . They all allow you to print off itemised bills showing the actual number you call in LOS & I included these in my folder along with a note explaining what it all meant.

Advice on electronic communications collated from a variety of posts

For many people this section of the folder can become somewhat cumbersome, with so many emails and instant messaging archives that might be printed out. Bear in mind however that the ECO will be looking for evidence of ongoing contact between Applicant and Sponsor and not every last detail of the nature of that communication (cf: itemised phone bills constitute evidence of contact but the ECO will not be privy to the actual content of telephone conversations - though they may sometimes ask in interview what the couple talk about on the phone but this will be a general question, not a request for any specifics). A number of members have had no problems simply providing a number of printed screen grabs of packages used (eg: a Hotmail folder set up to store mails between the couple, the Yahoo Messenger Archive window, etc.) showing contact over a period of time, plus maybe a sample full print out of an email on a monthly basis (do be careful which emails you select for this purpose however - if you think there's anything in the content of an email that may give cause for concern then choose another).

To execute a screen grab on a PC select the window you wish to grab and press the key combination Ctrl-Alt-Print Screen, then using any paint package open a new window and paste (Ctrl-V) the grabbed image into this window prior to printing. You may have to fiddle a little with orientation and scale to fit onto an A4 printout.

Okay that was a super big one but just by way of thanks for all the help received here, in the hope that future seekers of help can gain some benefit from this post. Feel free to point out any errors or flaws in thinking, add any additional suggestions, or anything else : )