ghengis

The real question should be "What is the ideal Age Gap for a Successful Relationship?".

How many times do you read - Crusty old fart, marries young thai lady. She leaves him as soon as she gets permanent residency in his country.

A ten year age gap seems to be about the average. As Thai women often look 10 years younger than their western counterparts, the average man marrying a Thai women looks to have a woman who looks 20 years younger than him. This is great.

Pushing the boat out and getting a wife who looks 40 years younger than you may be great for your ego, but is not likely to be successful in the long term.

How much per month do you need to live in Thailand?

The answer seems to be about 40,000/month for a reasonable lifestyle, assuming you own your own condo and car. Some people can live on less, maybe as little as 20,000, but they live ascetic lives. Most people don't need to spend more than 60,000 a month for a good lifestyle, unless they are sending children to private schools etc.

In the UK the best Annuity Rates are as follows:

• 55 - 6% (3.8% Index Linked)
  
• 60 - 6.6% (4.4 % Index Linked)
  
• 65 - 7.4% (5.3 % Index Linked)
  

So if a person aged 60 invested the sterling equivalent of 8,000,000 Baht in a UK Annuity he/she would get a monthly income of 44,000 or 29,000 index linked. Bearing in mind that in the UK you would also get a state pension at 65 you might consider the non-index linked option and allow for the state pension to give you an income boost later in life.

So in theory 8,000,000 may be enough (after you have paid for your condo/car etc) aged 60. Personally, I think 11,000,000 aged 60 is the right sort of number allowing for unknown contingencies and inflation.

Investing your funds outside Thailand means that you have exchange rate risk - if the Baht appreciates against your investment currency. However getting 1% return in Thailand is not so hot either. Putting all your money in Baht also has risks, since the Baht may crash again in the future, especially if irresponsible bank lending goes unchecked and the Thai economy goes into meltdown.

I think Khun Larry is right when he says you need a retirement investment of 20-25x your annual expenditure. UK 'Inflation Proof' Annuity Rates Age 60 are around 4.5% now and this will rise as interest rates go up.

The THB exchange rate has been very volatile against sterling - so it would be unwise to assume the current good rates will last forever. I am assuming the long term GBP/THB rate will be around 50.

There seems to be a lot of crazy people in the UK who think they can retire in Thailand and go native by living in an Issan village on only 20,000 b/month. I feel that these people may have some serious shocks in the future - especially if the Thai government begin to refuse Visas for retired farangs they consider to be 'too poor'.

More than 1m elderly British expatriates who worked hard all their lives to qualify for a state pension are being ordered by the Government to prove they are still alive.

And unless they do so within a tight deadline of just two months, their pensions will be taken away.

See Proof of life.

There is a paradox about Bar Girl relationships.

When reading many Thai expat related websites you get the impression that relationships with Bar Girls are largely doomed. I have seen figures that say 80% of these relationships fail mentioned on some sites.

However, there seems to be huge numbers of Bar Girls who are happily married to farangs. My wife reckons 60% of Thai women in the UK are ex Bar Girls, and many of these women never speak openly about their previous life.

So is the "Bar Girl=Disaster" theory a myth? Are they no worse than relationships with other Thai women?

See Understanding Anatta.

The anatta doctrine is one of the most important teachings of Buddhism. It is the most distinctive feature of Buddhism, for as many scholars have recognised, it makes Buddhism different from all other religions. Scholars write that all other religions accept the existence of some kind of spiritual, metaphysical, or psychological entity or agent or being inside and, in some cases, simultaneously outside of sentient beings. That is, most religions accept the existence of a soul or self. ...

Are farangs who have long term relationships with Bar Girls (or similar) more likely to have unstable or failed relationships than those who have long-term relationships with other (non Bar Girl) Thai women?

Knowing your 'past lives', even deciding whether reincarnation is 'real' ...  is irrelevant information to the practicing Buddhist of any school. Which may be why the Buddha refused to comment on the question.

Question 4: Is there such a thing as a human being who is reborn and who is able to speak accurately of his or her past existence?

ANSWER: Certainly, this is not an uncommon occurrence, and is in accordance with the tenets of Buddhism in respect to kamma. Such a person is called a jatisara puggalo from jati, existence, sara, remembering and puggalo, rational being.

Question 5: Which are the five Abbhinnana? Are they attainable only by the Buddha ?

ANSWER: The five Abhinnana (Psychic powers) (Pali Abhi=excelling; nana=wisdom) are:

  1. Iddhividha, Creative power,

  2. Dibbasota, Divine Ear;

  3. Cittapariya-nana, Knowledge of others' thoughts,

  4. Pubbenivasanussati; Knowledge of one's past existences; and

  5. Dibbacakkhu, The Divine eye.

The five Abhinnana are attainable also by Arahants and Ariyas and not only the above, but by ordinary mortals who practise according to the Scriptures; as was the case with the hermits, etc., who flourished before the time of the Buddha and who were able to fly through the air and traverse different worlds.

In the Buddhist Scriptures we find, clearly shown, the means of attaining the five abhinnana ; and even now-a-days, if these means are carefully and perseveringly pursued, it would be possible to attain these. That we do not see any person endowed with the five abhinna today, is due to the lack of strenuous physical and mental exertion towards their attainment.

Being over 50, I have thought about buying a condo and retiring in Thailand. With the stock market crashing and interest rates low, the prospects for a decent retirement income have taken a pounding recently. The surveys I have seen indicate that you need an income of at least 40,000 b/month to live comfortably (i.e. not like a native).

Interest rates are now rising and annuities will follow suit - see Historic UK Annuity Rates . With the world economy on the up I guess that stock market investments will rise over the next few years which means that maybe in 4-5 years time it might be a good time to retire before the next crash.

Property prices are getting to silly levels in the UK. My house bought in Dec 1999 has now doubled in value. I can't see that going on for too much longer. Maybe it would be a good idea to liquidise UK real-estate assets sometime in the next 2 years before the property market takes a dive like it did back in 1989.

I think timing is everything when thinking about when to retire - if everything is looking good then go for it.

You can download VAF2 plus guidance notes from ... Application Forms and Guidance Notes (11/05/04)

If you don't get married in the UK you may need a good excuse in order to apply for a second Settlement Visa. You may even have to get married in Thailand and then re-apply for a Visa to bet successful.

For me this "No Atma" concept has certain parallels with the Lakota sating "Mitake Oyasin", which means "All My Relatives".

This refers to all human beings, animals, plants and even rocks upon the earth are connected - on one level we are 'all the same'.

Martin

If you do manage to get a Visitor Visa, and you live with your girlfriend in the UK, you may find it easy to get a Settlement Visa after she returns to Thailand because there will be ample proof that you have a relationship and she is happy to live in the UK.

If your girlfriend’s Settlement Visa application is submitted along with ALL the required evidence and your case is straightforward then you can request a 'short interview' - which means the UK Embassy invite the applicant back after a few days for an interview that seems to last only 5 minutes instead of the usual 40 minutes.

Otherwise the standard wait for a normal 40 min Settlement Visa interview is about 10 weeks.

Fiancée and Marriage Visas are not the same. However, they are both called Settlement Visas and have the same forms to fill in for the UK Embassy.

If you are already married in Thailand then your Marriage Settlement Visa is for 24 months. After this time, you apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR) in the UK. You can work on a Marriage Visa from Day 1 in the UK.

A Fiancée Visa is only for 6 months. You are not allowed to work in the UK during this time. After 6 months (and being married) you apply for Further Leave to Remain (FLR), which lasts for 24 months (Like a Marriage Visa). You can then work in the UK. 24 months after the FLR you can apply for ILR.

If you are married in Thailand then it is a lot easier to prove that you have a genuine relationship than if you are only engaged to be married. I have several friends here in the UK who got married in Thailand after they failed to get Fiancée Visas and successfully got Marriage Visas. If you get married then you can re-apply and don't have to appeal the Fiancée Visa.

It takes 2 years to get ILR on a Marriage Visa and 2.5 years to get ILR on a Fiancée Visa. The Marriage Visa avoids to need to get FLR (which costs 155 pounds by post or 250 if you go in person).

My fiancée has just been refused a UK Visitor Visa.

I was in a similar situation. I was about to apply for a Visitor Visa for my fiancée, but on reflection I though that it sounded wrong - because if you intend to marry, your future wife will want to stay permanently in the UK. I think that if the UK Embassy discovers she is your fiancée then you can kiss goodbye to a Visitor Visa. So we applied and got a Fiancée Settlement Visa.

A Settlement Visa is much easier to get. No worries about having land etc in Thailand. A Fiancée Settlement Visa gives you 6 months before you must be married. You have a couple of months dither time before everything for the marriage must be arranged, and if things don't work out your wife will have to return to Thailand if you don't support her FLR and ILR visas after she has arrived in the UK. So you have up to 2½ years grace before she can stay in the UK permanently. If she has to return to Thailand, then getting a subsequent divorce would be a lot cheaper than in the UK. So you have some (if slight) insurance if things do go pear-shaped.

If a Fiancée Visa fails, then get married in Thailand and apply for a Marriage Settlement Visa.

The solution to this problem is to put pressure on the buyers of products manufactured by 'slave labour' in Thailand.

If people associated 'made in Thailand' with 'made by slave labour' and stopped buying Thai products, then the Thai govenment would get its act together very quickly.

There is a creation myth in India that pre-dates Buddhism. Creation (Brahma) is created from navel lotus of Narayana ( an incarnation of Vishnu ).

Curiously, this corresponds to the concept of the 'big bang' - with a time between creation of the universe and its eventual destruction being a 'Day of Brahma' followed by an equal length of time of nothingness called a 'Night of Brahma'. A night of Brahma is followed by another day etc. A Day of Brahma being many billions of our years.

Many aspects of Hinduism pervade Thai Buddhist belief. For example the King is named after another incarnation of Vishnu - Rama.

BBBJ = Back Backed Blow Job

Rainman

If you are that young, maybe you need an older woman - age gap works both ways.

The average age gap for Thai-farang relationships (from a couple of polls) is around 10-12 years. In about 12% of cases the Thai partner was older.

In the UK the mother will almost certainly be given custody of the children during a divorce. Access rights - see 'Fathers for Justice' and women being able to deny fathers access to children in the UK despite court orders etc.

If the wife gets a divorce in the UK she will get child maintenance (20% of Nett earnings for 2 children) plus maybe a large chunk of your house/pension. She could then move back to Thailand and live like royalty on the cash with the two children.

Thai Lover

There is a tradition in Thailand of girls marrying older men. As a man over 50 myself I would like to have got married to a nubile 20 year old, but settled for someone only 7 years younger who is totally devoted and faithful.

There are many problems with marrying someone much younger - for example they may want (at some future time) to have a family of 3-4 children when you already have a crop of your own already grown up and you certainly don't want the expense and effort to go through all that again.

A long-term marriage means that when you are 70 and getting a little droopy in the ‘meat and 2 veg’ department, she will be only 40 and still pretty horny. After only a small number of years the differences will become irreconcilable and divorce would be almost inevitable.

What percentage of sexy, vivacious 21 year olds who married 50 year old men have gone on to have long-term stable successful marriages. I would suggest a number close to zero. I think the 'optimum age gap' for compatibly is 5-10 years. It may be great to have a young lady on your arm aged 50, but look at things from the girl's point of view and you may see things differently.

This article shows how Thais treat 'poor' foreigners - in this case from Burma. It shows an 'Iron Fist' behind the 'Siam Smile'. If your average farang runs out of cash in Thailand, you can expect no mercy from the Thais.

Thailand likes to think of itself as a Developed Country, but morally it is back in the Dark Ages.

Getting a Settlement Visa is much easier than a Visitor Visa, especially if the lady comes from a poor family. A very high proportion of Thai women settled in the UK come from Issan and many (perhaps more than half) have worked in bars and similar establishments. If you go to the Thai Temple in Wimbledon for one of their events you will hear more Issan dialect than anything else.

There seems to be differing criteria for Settlement Visas depending on the background of the lady. If she has come from a good middle class family, is well educated and has a good job, then you might expect to get a Settlement Visa after knowing her for 3-6 months - provided you meet all the necessary financial, housing, evidence of contact criteria.

If you met your Thai girlfriend in Pattaya or the Embassy think you may have met her in a bar or similar institution, then the Embassy seems to take more convincing that you are a genuine couple, and some people have to wait 1-2 years before they are allowed a Settlement Visa. If you can’t speak Thai and she cant speak much English then there is a problem convincing the Embassy that you can communicate and have a real relationship.

If the lady is perceived to have worked in a bar, and this is fairly obvious in many cases even if she is not wearing a sexy short skirt at the visa interview, then the likelihood of getting a Visitor Visa is low.

You cannot convert a Visitor Visa into a Settlement Visa whilst in the UK. Your girlfriend will have to return to Thailand and then apply for another visa - Settlement or Visitor. You can however, convert a short Visitor Visa (say 2 months) into a long one (6 months) by post.

Visitor Visas to the UK are multiple-entry up to 6 months. You are allowed to visit the UK for a maximum of 6 months in any 12 Month Period, which means that if your girlfriend wants to return to the UK she would have to wait a further 6 months before applying for another Visitor Visa after she has returned to Thailand at the end of a 6 month Visitor Visa.

Some people have difficulty getting Visitor Visas for their Thai girlfriends because the UK Embassy don't believe they will return to Thailand. This is especially true if the Thai lady does not have a letter from their employer stating they have permission to travel to the UK for the stated amount of holiday. If the lady does not have a “proper job” in Thailand then she may have difficulty getting a Visitor Visa, but may be able to get a Settlement Visa if she has known you for a reasonable amount of time.

My Thai girlfriend (now wife) was made redundant after working for 10 years in an import-export company before she came to the UK. Originally she was going to apply for a 6 month Visitor Visa, but we changed it to a Fiancée Settlement Visa because the Embassy was likely to refuse the Visitor Visa because of 'no reason to return' as she had no job.

Bhudda images only started to appear after the Alexander the Great invaded India.

And if desire creates suffering, how can the fulfilment of desire i.e. heaven, be 'better' than he1l, where suffering is enhanced by the lack of something we desire. Aren't both illusionary and within the circle of rebirth?

Human beings have an innate desire for greater fulfilment - we a programmed to seek enlightenment. The fulfilment of desires is a part of this, but as every married man knows, women are never satisfied with all the stuff they desire, they always want more and more. Fulfilling a desire is not heaven. Heaven (enlightenment) is a state of total fulfilment, which exists independently of our physical existence -i.e. beyond the circle of rebirth.

The Sanskrit word for being in contact with infinite bliss is 'Samadhi', which is also the Thai word for meditation. Right action does not lead to a state of Samadhi, but it does provide a platform to help you realise this state through meditation.