ghengis

I prefer the Japanese Style Buddha Images (not too fat, not too thin - the middle way) - such as ...

The Nara Daibutsu, whose image embodies the Buddha Birushana, dates back to 752. Over the centuries, the statue has been damaged in various battles, but has always been restored afterward. The body of the statue was reconstructed in 1185, and the 5.3-meter-high head was rebuilt in 1692. At 15 meters, it is the largest gilt bronze statue in the world.

How Do You Know She Is The One, how special she is?

I work with a guy who looks after the computer network - he must be about 35. He was in a pop band when he was younger and had some hair. His girlfriend has just left him; maybe she was fed up of his lack of commitment. I think he is an example of someone who is clinging on to the 'rock star' lifestyle, which has faded a long time ago and now needs to 'get real' or face a lifetime of being a sad old bachelor.

Getting older means that your expectations of 'The One' need to become more realistic. No, Claudia Schiffer will not want you as her shagmeister. Maybe someone who can look after you, be your friend, laugh at your jokes should be 'The One'. Maybe someone who likes you for what you are, not the flash 1000CC motor bike or sports car you drive. Maybe someone you can totally relax with, someone you don't have to impress constantly. Maybe she is your best friend, almost a part of you. I think you know it when she is not there - only then can you appreciate the gaping hole in your life without her.

How Do You Know She Is The One - I think the answer is 'pure contentment’.

What's their definition of prostitution?

I think it means actively involved in prostitution. If she has worked in a bar, it is a good idea that she gets another job before the interview. Some people advise that you tell the truth about meeting your girlfriend in a bar - many people have got visa after admitting this. Others suggest being a little 'economical with the truth'. It they think you are lying then you will fail the visa interview.

The percentage of Thai women with UK settlement visas who were former bar-girls is quite high. Somewhere in the region of 50% would be a good guess. If you have a genuine relationship then you can expect to get a visa, but it may take longer if your girl-friend looks like she has worked in a bar or similar establishment.

I found this on the web

In India there are three points of view about the ultimate mystery of existence. The first is of the Hindu Upanishads, the Vedas and the Gita. According to their view, the ultimate reality is one; all else are expressions of this one. There are no individual souls, there is only a universal soul. There are no separate individuals, there is only one universal existence.

The second viewpoint is of the Jainas. According to them the ultimate reality is not just one, it is split into many: there is no universal soul, there are only individual souls. There is not one single totality; instead, there are many separate beings.

The third vision is of the Buddhists. For them there is neither a universal soul nor an individual soul, neither the whole nor the individual. For them there is nothingness, shunyata, the ultimate void.

These three viewpoints are very contradictory. And for thousands of years arguments have been going on over them but there has never been any conclusion. And the propounders of these three views are the enlightened ones who have experienced and known the truth, so it is very difficult to understand why there are these great differences. One can understand the arguments and debates of the scholars because they don't have any inner experience. They just use complicated words and they try to propound principles and explain theories according to their own logic, but they don't have any inner experience of their own.

But Mahavira, Buddha and Shankara are not scholars. Whatsoever they are saying is not from their thinking. It is not philosophy, they are telling of their own experiences. They are simply talking about that which they have known. There is no mistake, no flaw in their knowing.

Then why is there so much controversy? Because of this controversy, in India there are three different attitudes towards life. Hinduism, Jainism and Buddhism are the three main streams of thinking which dominate the Indian mind. And because there is no end to the controversy, the Indian mind is also full of confusion. It will be good to understand this more deeply.

I see absolutely no difference in these three views. The statements are absolutely different but there is no difference in the essence. And these statements are not only different, they are diametrically opposite — but their meaning and purpose are the same. And one who cannot see this one purpose will never be able to see the oneness in all the religions. Yet there are reasons why these three insights have been presented in three different ways.

The Vedas, the Upanishads, the Brahma Sutra and the Gita say that the divine is one, but the unconscious people interpreted this in a wrong way and it became disastrous. They said, "If there is only the one, then there is no point in doing anything — all forms are of the divine: it is in sin and in virtue, in the good man as well as in the thief, in the bondage of the world and in liberation; it is here, it is there, it is everywhere. It is also in evil. Then what is the need to do anything? Nothing remains to be done."

If this whole existence is only one reality, only one essence, then there is no need to do anything in life. Then what is the difference between good and evil? What is the difference between religion and irreligion? What is the difference between maya, illusion, and brahman, the ultimate reality? If in reality there is only the one, then there is nothing left to be done. What is there to aspire to? What is there to renounce? The result of this unique concept of the one ultimate reality has been a profound laziness; a great laziness has overpowered the Indian mind. So people would just read the Vedas and the Upanishads; they would memorize the Gita and think that there was nothing left for them to do. But in this way there was no transformation in life.

This was not the intention of the enlightened people who shared these truths — but the intention of the awakened ones and the understanding of the ignorant are never the same. The intention of those who said there is only one reality was to help you to let go of your self, and then only it is.

Your ego is false. You think that you are separate, but this is just your illusion. This is the obstacle in your life; this is the cause of all your misery and your bondage. You should allow your self to dissolve and disappear into this vastness. Don't try to save yourself, to keep yourself separate. All the pain of life arises out of the belief that you are separate. And if you are separate then you have to protect yourself. If you are separate then you have to fight with everyone because nobody is with you in the difficulties of life. All are your competitors. Life becomes a quarrel and a fight and in this fight there is only worry and anxiety. If you are separate then the fear of death grips you — because you know that you will have to die.

Every day you see someone dying... but the whole never dies. People go on dying but this vast immensity lives eternally. Life is never destroyed but every day you see embodied life dying. Earthen lamps are extinguished every day but the light as such remains. This is why the fear of death possesses you: if you are separate, then you will certainly die. And if you have merged and become one with this vast existence, then there is no way to die. Then life is deathless, life is eternal.

The intention of those who wanted the concept of the one reality to prevail was so that the ego could dissolve, disappear, evaporate. But the ego did not dissolve, even though that was the intention of the awakened ones. The ignorant misinterpreted the concept of one ultimate reality so that instead of dissolving their egos, it only enhanced and supported the ego. The seers have said, "I am the ultimate reality." Their meaning was, "I am not, only the ultimate reality is." But the ignorant thought, "I am the ultimate reality!" Those who declared "I am the ultimate reality" meant that there is no drop, only the ocean is. But hearing this the drop thought, "I am the ocean." Because of this the drop could not dissolve, it became even more egoistic.

The awakened ones were thinking that on the day man realizes that there is only one reality there will be no more sin, because sin is against the other. When do you sin? — when you sacrifice the other for your own happiness, that is sin. But if I am in all, spread in all and there is only one reality and there is no one else, then there is no possibility of sin. For sin, the other is needed; for sin, the other must be sacrificed — for my benefit the other's benefit has to be destroyed. But if there is only one reality and no other, there is no possibility for selfishness or sin. Then to harm the other means to harm yourself. The intention of the seers was that you realize that when you cease to be as an ego, when you are no more, there will be no way to sin. But the ignorant interpreted that if there is only one reality then there is no sin or virtue; whatsoever you do is okay because this one reality is omnipresent in all.

When Mahavira saw what was happening to this supreme understanding he tried to destroy it from the very roots, so he said that there is no one ultimate reality; every person is himself divine and the drop does not need to dissolve itself in the ocean. The drop simply has to go on purifying itself, it has to become absolutely pure. He said that this idea of dissolving is wrong because the whole country had become very lazy and lethargic because of it: the ignorant people misinterpreted the word 'dissolve', so instead of destroying it, the idea of one supreme reality became the very foundation of ignorance.

So Mahavira did not talk about the ultimate reality. He said, "There is no universal soul, only the individual soul exists. You must become pure. Sin is sin, virtue is virtue — the same reality is not present in all. Bad is bad and good is good and the difference between the two should be kept clear. That dividing line should not be dissolved."

Mahavira has called his insight bheda-vigyan, the science of differentiation. The Upanishads say abheda, no difference. But Mahavira has called his whole technique bheda-vigyan, the clear awareness of difference: what is wrong and what is right, where is wrong and where is right, where is good and where is evil, from where does goodness begin and from where does evil begin, where does worldliness end and where does liberation from it begin? Mahavira made the understanding of this clear distinction the basis of spirituality. He said that each individual is separate, he has not to dissolve. And when each individual is separate then the whole responsibility for his life is his own. If you are suffering it is your own responsibility, not the divine's. If you experience bliss then only you are responsible and it is not by the blessing of any divine. Mahavira dropped prayer, only medita tion remained. Meditation to him means that one has to purify oneself so much that one day only pure consciousness is left. Mahavira called that pure consciousness paramatma. Paramatma does not mean God, it means param-atma, the ultimate soul, the purest soul.

Mahavira's intention was to help people to overcome their lethargy. People are sleepy and unconscious because they are living in a deception which has been created by the principles which they believe in and which give them the permission to remain asleep. Mahavira wanted to destroy the whole basis of these theories so that man would become more aware, more silent, more conscious. He should stand on his own feet: he should not wait for any divine blessing or grace or support. This was a very important technique for the purification of man — but the end result of this too was exactly the same as it has always been and will always be.

Mahavira wanted that man should purify himself and rise to his divinity, but the ignorant understood, "I exist, and there is no divine to dissolve my self into; my existence is the end, the only reality." Mahavira's concept of the individual soul simply enhanced the egos of the ignorant: neither did they realize the soul nor did they purify themselves and rise to their own divin ity. Instead they became full of a very strong ego that believes that there is no God and that only "I am."

And as this ego of 'I am' becomes stronger, unconsciousness also be comes stronger because then the ego is an intoxicant. This intoxication increases in the same proportion as the ego; to the same extent, a man's life becomes more unconscious. When there is no divine there is no reason to bow down, so the people who were egoistic were supported by this. They were happy with the idea that there is no need to bow down, no need to surrender. Humbleness was no longer seen as a quality of saintliness; there was only pride and arrogance.

Mahavira said, "Be independent. Don't become lazy and dependent on prayer," and the ignorant understood, "I am all there is and I have only to trust in my own strength. I have to rely only on myself." The ego became stronger and this ego destroyed the Jaina philosophy. Just as the concept of brahman, the universal reality, made the Hindus lazy and lethargic, so has the concept of the individual soul made the Jainas very arrogant and egoistic.

When Buddha saw that both views — the universal reality and the individual soul — caused the downfall of man, he then said that there is no universal reality and no individual soul: there is only shunya, vast emptiness. His expression was very unique. He said that there is no universal reality and no individual soul because it was necessary to cut the very roots of the mistake made in the Hindu's way of thinking and in the Jaina's philosophy. "You are not, there is nobody within you..." Buddha says that to attain to this nothingness is the ultimate knowing.

This is why Buddha has not used the word brahmalok, the abode of the divine; neither did he use the word moksha, ultimate liberation. He used the word nirvana, the extinguishing of the flame of an earthen lamp. When the flame of an earthen lamp is burned out we don't ask, "Where is the flame? Where has it gone?" It simply does not exist anymore. Buddha says that it is not the earthen lamp of the awakened one which burns out but the flame of his ego which is extinguished. What remains within is the ultimate emptiness, pure silence. And to attain to that emptiness is nirvana. This was a very profound insight because with this there was no more space for man's laziness to continue and there was no more support for the ego to survive.

But when the ignorant heard that there is neither a universal reality nor an individual soul, they interpreted that there is nothing worth attaining! — "What is the point when there is nothing? And when emptiness is already there within, why make any effort? Why practice any spiritual discipline?" Buddha's insight seemed like atheism to the ignorant: ''When there is nothing, then whatever pleasures are available in this life, we should enjoy them! When there is nothing eternal then why give up the transitory? It is better to hold on to whatever is available now because later on there will be nothing to attain; there is only the void, emptiness." And Buddha's vision also failed because of this teaching of emptiness.

It is very strange that whatsoever was the deepest insight of any vision became the cause of its failure. The unconscious people are strange... the enlightened ones are always defeated by them. To save themselves the ignorant always find loopholes in everything. And they even argue and say that their theory is right and the other's is wrong.

Theories have no value in religion, the value is in the intention behind it. Try to understand this. Theories are of value to the scholars, who themselves are not worth much. The enlightened ones are concerned only with the intent of religion. What is Shankara's motive? What is the motive of Mahavira? What does Buddha intend? Whatsoever they are saying is not as important as their motive. Whatsoever they are saying is only a device, an indication. What are they indicating? But scholars take hold of the words and they go on fighting and arguing over the words for centuries! The Jaina scholars go on proving that there is no universal reality, that only an individual soul exists, the Hindu scholars go on proving that there is no individual soul, that only one universal reality exists and the Buddhist scholars go on proving that there is neither a universal reality nor an indi vidual soul, there is only emptiness.

But there is no question of proving anything: only the purpose and the meaning have to be understood. The indication has to be understood. The only motive of a Mahavira, a Buddha or a Shankara is that you should be transformed, that you become reborn; that the dust on your mirror should be removed, that it should become clean so that you can see that which is. Call it whatsoever you like: the brahman, nirvana, shunya, atman — these are only words. Any word can be used, but that which is has no name. Their only desire is that you should be able to experience it.

But you go on discussing what they say and you don't experiment with what they say. You just think about it and talk about it but you don't meditate on what they say. You just stuff your mind with their words. But by doing all this your life will not be transformed, no revolution will happen. So, in a way, all the enlightened ones have failed.

Whenever someone becomes enlightened he finds it very difficult to communicate because it has been said in a thousand-and-one ways, but you are somehow able to protect yourself from listening to their actual message. The cunning people can always find ways not to listen. Just a few simple people, who are not so cunning, do listen, and they are benefited by it. But all the traditions are created by the cunning people. The enlightened one shares his religiousness and the cunning ones create the traditions.

According to the Upanishads it is the simple and innocent people who have the subtle intelligence, and they are the people who transform them selves and don't create any traditions. They don't care whether what is said is the actual truth; they understand that what is said is only indicating towards truth.

All words are just indications. The only value of the indication is that it takes you forwards, keeps you moving further and further, just as the arrows on the milestones on the road show the right direction. If you are going to Delhi, the arrow is pointing you towards Delhi. But you are so unconscious that when you see the milestone with the arrow and with 'Delhi' written on it, you become attached to the milestone and you stop there in the belief that you have arrived in Delhi. You pay no attention to the arrow. That stone with 'Delhi' written on it is not Delhi; the milestones only indicate that Delhi is some distance away. When you see a zero on the milestone then you know that you have arrived in Delhi. Then there will be no arrow on it, no word on it, only a zero will be there. But as long as there are arrows to point the way, understand that the destination is still far away.

No scripture is truth. All scriptures are like milestones that say, "Go forwards." But you start worshipping the milestones, and different people keep different kinds of milestones on their heads. And then great discussions go on to prove whose Delhi is the real one. No scripture is truth, all scriptures are just indications towards the truth. And one who holds on to the scripture will only prove that the scripture is wrong, and he himself will go astray.

All the scriptures say to go on moving, go forwards until you reach the zero where all words disappear and nothing more is written. And when you have reached the zero you will realize that all the words were different indications, different devices of the enlightened ones to take you to the zero, to the wordless silence.

There are pros and cons of living in any country.

The UK, USA and European countries have a high standard of living, good education and social services. These come at a cost - I pay more than 10 times more income tax in the UK than a typical Thai earns.

People who come to the UK are allowed to work, own property and get state pensions when they retire. People who go to Thailand .... have to look after themselves. Thailand is a paradise if you come from a rich country. If you come from a poor country like Laos or Burma then Thailand can be a nightmare.

The UK is not that good, but it is also not that bad. Thailand can be very good if you have money and also very bad if you don't.

Spuds

If you are unsure about the marriage thing, then go for a Visitor Visa first. About a 1/3rd of Thai-UK couples wait until they have know each other for about 2 years before applying for a Settlement Visa. Many of these have used a VV first. About 3/4 of Settlement Visas are Marriage Visas, with the other 1/4 Fiancée Visas, i.e. most people choose to get married in Thailand.

The longer you have known your girlfriend the greater the chances of getting a Visitor Visa. Some people have to make 2 or 3 attempts before they succeed. Roughly 2/3rds of Visitor Visas granted are for the full 6 months. You just have to be patient if you go through the VV route.

This topic seemed to bring to light the fact there there are embassy "minimum requirements" as to how long you have know each other etc when applying, it begged a few questions to me reqarding the settlement visa.

If it's 6 months minimum length of service together for a successful tourist visa application, does anyone know of simular restrictions for a successful settlement visa apllication??

There is no minimum requirement to know each other for Settlement Limits. My wife got her Fiancee Visa less than 3 months after we met.

Approx 36% of people who receive Settlement Visa to the UK have known their partner for 12 months or less, 50% for 16 months or less, 80% for 2 years or less. I would say that you will not have any problems provided you meet the requirements of housing and income. You could also get a Quick Interview.

I used to go to Sunday School aged eleven. I thought it strange that they know all about He11, but not a lot about heaven. I used to pace around the garden, looking at the stars, wondering if there was some master plan for the universe, and if so what my part was. About that time I had one of those "mystical experiences" - for a short period of time I felt as if I knew everything, was all-powerful. It was a total experience. Nothing before or since has been so profound. I don't know where I was, but ever since then I have been trying to get back there. Maybe there is a god. Maybe he is inside each of us, but we as asleep to it.

The balcony death-plunge is always a crowd-pleaser but the practice has become so popular in recent years that only the most bizarre cases make the headlines. Last week, the Bangkok Post reported how one unlucky farang succeeded only in breaking his arm. In hospital, he was carelessly allocated a bed on a high floor. Needless to say, his second jump was more successful.

See Thai balcony death-plunge for Suicide Sid?

Scamp

I sincerely doubt it's of any interest to anyone as the moment has passed but it turns out she was genuine but I couldn't have changed her, and I went to see her after the meet up at 12Call's place and she was all bleary eyed and admitted being yabba'd off her bonce.

Those Thai women who are in successful long-term farang relationships all seem to be be very "normal", domesticated and have no serious vices (apart from smoking), even though some of them have colourful pasts. If you want to wake up with someone for the rest of your life, I suggest you find a woman who can be your best friend as well as being sexy love goddess.

AIDS on the rise among Asian wives

Sunday 27 June 2004, 17:47 Makka Time, 14:47 GMT

Young married women in Asia have emerged as a fast-growing new group of AIDS sufferers despite remaining faithful to their husbands.

Infection rates are increasing at alarming rates among the group who were once considered at low-risk of infection but have been passed the disease by promiscuous partners, the United Nations and health workers said on Thursday.

In some Asian cultures including Thailand, extra-marital affairs for men are considered the norm while women lack knowledge of birth control and are unable in male-dominated societies to demand that their partner use a condom.

"Young women in this region are generally ill-equipped to protect themselves from the virus," said Lucita Lazo, the UN Women's Fund (UNIFEM) regional programme director for East and Southeast Asia.

Society at risk

"What used to be a disease that is prevalent among so-called high-risk populations ... is now among the low-risk population, and that means average, ordinary, monogamous relationships," she said during a visit to a women's HIV-AIDS shelter on the outskirts of Bangkok.

"I never really thought it would happen to me. I was not promiscuous and I never used drugs. It was my fate"

Lek, HIV-infected woman

"It's not just sex workers, it's normal housewives faithful to their husbands who are picking up the epidemic. It's going into the average household."

Lek, a widow at the shelter, said she was pregnant with her second child when a doctor told her she had contracted the virus.

"I was infected by my husband" four years ago, said the 31-year-old, who said she had been aware of her husband's visits to sex workers but was never able to convince him to use a condom when he had sex with her. He died of an AIDS-related illness soon afterwards.

"He felt remorse, but there was nothing to say because we both felt that we were going to die," said Lek, who used a pseudonym when talking with reporters.

Not me

"I never really thought it would happen to me," she added. "I was not promiscuous and I never used drugs," she said. "It was my fate."

Last year the UN reported a dramatic difference in the number of men and women living with HIV. Globally, some 7.3 million women aged 15 to 24 were HIV positive, compared with 4.5 million young men, according to its figures.

Some 4.5 million young men and 7.3 million women are infected

In Thailand, the highest estimate for HIV prevalence among men is 1.33%, while for women it is two per cent.

UNIFEM's warning comes ahead of the 15th International AIDS Conference which is expected to draw up to 20,000 delegates, including world leaders, to the Thai capital from 11 to 16 July.

It has announced an expansion of programmes focusing on youth and women.

Cultural hurdles

Lazo said cultures in Asia, where women often hold a lower status in society, had significant hurdles to overcome, particularly the imbalance of power between the genders.

"The culture of patriarchy, the culture of silence, the cultural taboos have to be addressed more systematically now," she said.

Women were expected to be virgins for their partners and not supposed to seek out sex education to prevent infection.

Maytinee Bhongsvej, executive director of the Association for the Promotion of the Status of Women (APSW) which runs the women's shelter, said the government needed to take a new approach to fight the disease.

"Unless linkages between HIV and gender relations are better recognised, I think it will be difficult to make progress," she said.

AFP

Spirits and Buddhism

According to the life of Buddha before his enlightenment Mara came and asked the the Earth GoddessBuddha what right he had to attain enlightenment in his life and bring people out of their ignorance. The Buddha replied that in his past lives he had accumulated enough merit to attain enlightenment in this life.

The Buddha then changed his attitude from meditation to that of subduing Mara by placing his right hand on his right knee calling the Earth Goddess from the ground who drowned the whole Mara Army by wringing out her hair. The Buddha then continued out his meditation until he arrived Supreme Enlightenment.

"won't we all be dead by then?"

The problem will be before you die. The population of most western countries is aging, which means the ratio of 'working people between 16 and 60' to those over 60 is shrinking fast. There will not be enough young people to pay tax for all those old b*stards who refuse to die before they retire.

European countries are now finding that they cannot afford their generous state funded retirement schemes - hence the demonstrations in France, Germany, Italy etc on pensions.

The solution to this is to reduce pensions (or not increase them in line with average earnings), make people work until they are 70, and cut back on services for those people retiring abroad. For example ...

Pattaya Mail

Vol. XII No. 25

Friday June 18- June 24 , 2004

Proposed cessation of free NHS care to UK expats

The UK Government is expected to stop expatriates getting free care on the NHS this year. People will now have to prove they spend at least six months a year in the country to get free care. The Health Secretary, John Reid, has emphasised that the scheme will be “rigorously applied” even though it still requires parliamentary approval. This has been brought about by the government’s crackdown on health tourism whereby anyone can get free healthcare just by showing some tenuous link to the UK.

Unless some more tax payers can be imported (immigration) the current middle aged population will have a hard time in retirement.

Spuds

I think it is possible to get a UK Visitor Visa having known a lady for under 6 months. This only happens in about 20% of cases of successful visa applicants. Most of the other successful UK VV applications are from people who have known their girlfriends for 9 months or more.

There are people in the UK who finally got Visitor Visas at the third attempt. I think they got a bit down-hearted at the second refusal and then waited a long time before the third application. The second application is therefore crucial to get right. Being at the interview will help (your passport will be with you so no problems there).

Should the second application fail, you should apply asap for a Fiancee Visa.

The current birth rate in the UK and many European countries is about 1.4 births per femail or 0.7 births per couple. This means that each generation is getting 30% smaller than the previous one.

At this rate after a couple of hundred years (10 generations) there would be only 3% of the current polulation unless there is immigration to offset the decline in population.

... the whole process was completed within 2 weeks.

We submitted all the documents required before the interview date, the interview lasted only 5 minutes and consisted solely of checking the details given.

I think we should keep the tone of the conversation on a more spiritual level. Losing your cool means that you have lost the argument.

who are you to say what is enlightenment and what is not???

The 'everlasting state' of 'Nirvana' is described in many places. How can someone intellectually understand a concept of something so abstract? It is a big like asking a scientist 'what existed before the Big Bang?'. The answer is that it exists on a different level.

Infinity is difficult concept for people who measure everything in 4 dimensions of space and time. The concept of Nirvana is that of a level of consciousness which is infinite - which is beyond our dimensions of space and time - which is beyond the thought process and our sensory perceptions. The mind does not experience it. It experiences itself - hence the term Self Realisation.

In simple terms "Enlightenment" is a state of Mind.

Some would say pure consciousness is beyond the mind. The mind is concerned with thought. Buddha taught to go beyond thought.

But your consciousness, for which Bodhidharma uses the word 'no-mind'--Gautam Buddha has also used the word 'no-mind'--is something beyond body and mind, something beyond everything; that no-mind is eternal.

Drugs like LSD give an 'altered state of mind'. This is not englightenment.

Scamp - this lady does not sound like an "Ideal Woman" to me.

Women often make the mistake of trying to correct a man's faults in a relationship, but they nearly always fail. Men trying to do likewise usually do not succeed either.

Serious problems in a relationship (such as drug addiction) can be overcome, but often people "revert to type", which means that the relationship has a very high probability of ending in tears. Enjoy the experience, but don't expect any long-term joy.

Spuds

Try again after you have known her for at least 6 months. Make sure your evidence is complete and up-to-date. Email the Embassy for any clarification required.

I believe the only restriction is that you cannot have more that 6 months Visitor Visa in any 12 month period, so your girlfriend can re-apply straight away in Bangkok.

Alternatively, you can apply for a Visitor Visa extension for up to 6 months while in the UK. See Visitor Visa Extension using form FLR(O).

Can I extend my stay as a visitor?

A visitor can only stay for six months. If we gave you permission to stay for less than six months, you can apply to extend your stay, up to six months in total.

How do I apply?

You will need to complete an application form. Applications (except those for asylum and work permits or under European Community law) will not be valid unless they are made on the appropriate application form. You can get copies of application forms from this website.

To apply for further leave to remain, get form FLR(O).

If you are in any doubt as to which form you should use please telephone the Immigration and Nationality Enquiry Bureau on 0870 606 7766.

You should send the completed form to us, by post, before your permission to stay ends. The application form will give you details of all the documents you will need to send with your application and where you should send it.

Actually, I was thinking of advising the lady to separate with her husband she has no feelings for. She can stay with her friend in the UK for 2 years until her visa expires.

It seems I am in a minority of one in this opinion.

Jack - I suggest to look in the section Visas and migration to other countries.

For example : Settlement Visa Advice

Martin

You can produce the wage slips as evidence on the day of the interview in November. Maybe a letter from your new employer might help things. If you have sufficient funds in your bank account this would also help your cause.

If you have known your Thai partner for some time, and lived with her in Thailand, this helps a lot with the Visa application. What the embassy is looking for is :

• Is this a genuine relationship
  
• Can you support your wife/fiancee financially
  
• Do you have somewhere to live in the UK
  

You should wait until you have a job before submitting the visa application. You can Email the UK Embassy in Bangkok ([email protected]) to get futher advice. You will probably get a reply from Ray Keen ([email protected]).

Morality is fine as long as you can afford it.

Many Thai women, who are not in financial difficulties, would never consider being unfaithful, regardless of what is on offer.