2long

Peeking duck. yeah, copied and pasted an email.

Ooops

A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the biker, says - 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.'

'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'

'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's papers will have this on the first page. What motorcycle do you ride?

'A Harley Davidson.'

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on first page:

BIKER GANG MEMBER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise.'

The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself,

The lid of the pot rises slightly

And she briefly sees two beady little eyes

Looking around

Before the lid slams back own.

'GOOD GRIEF, DID YOU SEE THAT?'

She asks her husband.

He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.

He reaches for it and again the lid rises,

And he sees

TWO LITTLE EYES

LOOKING AROUND

Before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening

And demands an explanation.

'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?'

The husband replies,

'Chicken Surprise.'

“Ah! So solly,”

Says the waiter,

I know it's a silly question, but do Air Asia only fly out of the new airport?

Some other airlines use the old airport and my girls are flying out on Tuesday. Nothing is said in the confirmation or booking, and I'm presuming it's the new airport.

Can someone please back me up.

SBK,

Where do I get to find DNS and how do I change it, please? I went into internet options, but need a bit of a helping hand through there!

Thanks

The clitoris (spelling?) or between the toes, if you want to be different.

With a sick daughter and a busy schedule at work, I don't have time to muck around, but ALL of you guys have been more than helpful. I'll keep you posted on the progress.

I haven't acted on the latest two posts prior to this.

My cable is 5m and cost 200B, so that might say something, although it DOES work on my regular monitor.

Like most people (I think) I got Facebook because it appeared so popular. Then after getting so many emails telling me stuff I didn't want to know and inviting me to applications I didn't want, I gave up.

However, Scrabulous is online Scrabble/Crossword and can be played quickly, over a week or more and against your friends, or anyone in the world!

Maybe we can sort some league out here and play each other...

Just a thought.

You're all very kind, you know.

I can see a load of options on the source part of the on-screen menu. PC is one of them, but it's not highlighted. All the others are the same except for AV and TV. So I can see that's te possibility is there, but just can't scroll down to it becuase (I guess) it hasn't recognised a source.

Yes Cophen, I have gone through the sources and it doesn't have the pc on the list.

I'm running XP on a desktop. The lead works fine on the regular pc but nothing is available on the tv.

Thanks, Paal, I'll have a go.

Sorry, I've just read your post properly. I have no idea what the pc thinks about the tv, because there's no visual media for me to see.

I presumed that I could just plug it in and use it as a monitor. The tv has Svideo and many more ports in the back.

Cheers, but I used the same lead and unplugged it from the pc monitor and plugged it into the back of the tele. The tele isn't recognizing it.

Got an LCD tv with a pc port (15 pin VGA?) in the back. Plugged the pc in and there's no picture. The instructions aren't much help. It's a Samsung.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

Yeah, I'm on TOT and haven't been able to for two or three days. Strange

The title says it all.

Will S Video improve the picture any (over AV) and on my 37" box?

We've got a home theatre and an lcd tv. There are the usual av ports in both and also there's HDMi on the tele, but I doubt that's avaialble from UBC or the home theatre. There's alos component ports in both, but I'm not sure about the UBC thing.

I currently run the UBC signal into the home theatre (it runs as an amplifier) via av leads. Then I use a video (yellow) lead for the picture to the tele.

I appreciate thet UBC True's sugnal leaves a lot to be desired, so am I going to be any better off doing this in a different way?

BRAVE MAN JOKES

>

> What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??

>

> The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume,

>

> Then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're next, fatty."

>

> -------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is

> lying in bed reading.

>

> Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

>

> Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep."

>

> Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep"

>

> -------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

>

> He asks, "What are you doing?"

>

> She answers, "I'm moving to London . I heard prostitutes there get paid £400

> for doing what I do for you for free."

>

> Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees

> her husband packing his suitcase.

>

> When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want to

> see how you live on £800 a year".

>

Need to go just south of the border in May and wondered if there's a train route from Bangkok to that East side of the border? Maybe a bus is the only direct way, but the thought of Air asia via KL doesn't sound like the best way.

Cheers lads (and lasses?)

Just bought a big tv and there's a port on the back for pc monitor input. However i can't get my pc near enough and keep it plugged in to all the needy holes.

Are long cables (4-5m) around and if so, pricey?

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waist band of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!!!