sidjameson

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I only had 2 stages

Stage 1 (2 years)

Lots of sex and getting drunk every night.

Stage 2 (15 years)

Getting married, having kids.

If you could stay 50 forever enjoying stage 1 or 55 forever enjoying stage 2 which would you choose?

4 hours ago, Issan girl said:

I realized that my case is a bit different. I came here in HS in 1988 as an exchange student and lived with an amazing Thai family in Udornthani. I fell in love with my family, the Thaipeople, the culture, food and way of life. I came back as an exchange student at Khon Kan university and later to teach and do translation work. I have lived with my Thai family several times over the years and they have litterly changed my life. I did not return to Thailand for many years (almost 20) due to life and work circumstances, but always dreamed of retiring in Thailand. I am now blessed to be able to live here half time, share my love of Thailand with my spouse and give back to my Thai family. I will admit that Thai culture has changed in ways that are not always positive (nothing stays the same), but I still love the people, the simple life and enjoy the ability to travel. I am not sure if I will ever make Thailand my only permanent home and give up my life in the states (it is a bit more difficult if you are not married or living with a Thai partner) but I love being here and feel blessed that I was given the opportunity to get to experience the place.

A lovely post and what an interesting and unique perspective you must have on Thailand. Have you talked about the changes you alluded to in other threads on here or elsewhere?

7 hours ago, simon43 said:

The aspergillos caused Bronchiectasis, which is widening of the bronchi. Unlike COPD, this illness, although uncurable, doesn't progress if I avoid further infections, pneumonia etc, (the previous pneumonia already did the physical damage). So I do lung exercises every day and have some mucus medicines to help to cough up the gunge. It's not so bad :)

The Myanmar situation is very frustrating, because the military have made it very hard for schools to employ foreigners. I'm getting old anyway! So I've made siem Reap my 'base' and I plan to enter Myanmar on 28-day tourist visas, (and see if I get arrested for teaching in a voluntary capacity...)

2 advantages of not having a partner is that I spend less money, and I am not 'tied' down geographically. Neither of my Thai exes would ever contemplate giving charity to any Burmese people......

How does the burning season affect your lung condition?

On 2/18/2026 at 10:54 AM, KhunLA said:

Really amazed by all the birds visiting your place. Are you incredibly lucky or is there some logical reason like a good food source attracting so many species?

Or is it just the way it is in your part of Thailand?

Every year "professionals" predict house prices and stock markets and get it woefully wrong.

Yet we are ment to trust climate predictions as if they're meaningful.

Accept yourself. Pointless to try to create a new desire.

Don't scimp on yourself either. If there's something you want, get it.

If the emergency fund never gets used then it's because there was no emergency. Feel blessed.

Make a will where your favourite charity benefits from your good fortune at not needing expensive surgery/care home.

Relax about dying with money. Don't think of it as unspent, think of it as not needed.

7 hours ago, KhunLA said:

"Don't run out of money in (fill in country name) during retirement" - applies everywhere.

My mom literally ran out of money and in her 70's lives quite happily in a house paid for by the UK government. Warm house always, kitchen always full of good food, runs a car, has 2 dogs always going to the vet. Various digital subscriptions.

I guess you're not from the UK. Lol

20 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

I am good for two drinks a week. I try to go to an upscale Asian fusion type restaurant every week and I will always try a crafty cocktail, like a Jasmine old-Fashioned, or a lychee dry martini.

The second drink will be a pint of Guinness if I find myself hanging out with some guys in the pub, which is usually about once a week.

I don’t have booze in my house for Myself, but I do have a bottle of dry Chardonnay because my girlfriend likes a glass about every other day. I might join her once a week.

So call me in every other day single drink drinker

After the Guinness what do you order, presuming you stay?

As I age I notice a gradual decline in what I can drink. Every 5 years one less bottle.

58 soon and recently noticed another reduction to two small Leo. A third is 50/50 now on being a regret.

15 hours ago, simon43 said:

Yes, most radio amateurs verbally 'chat', but actually, I have very rarely spoken with any other radio ham, since getting my ham licence some 45 years ago! I find most of their conversations to be rather boring... Instead I usually dabble in SSTV - sending and receiving photos or images, such as photos of Lao temples when operating from Laos, or images of Thai food when operating from Thailand. (Others send female nude images, but I find that rather tasteless).

Yes, I can easily contact others on the other side of the world by email or WhatsApp. But for me, it's a technical challenge of designing and building a simple antenna from a few metres of wire, that can propagate my image to the other side of the world with just a few watts of energy.

Here's one of the SSTV images that I send from Laos :)

Very cool.

Can you explain in terms an idiot could understand how you with an image in one location can send it to another? I presume it's laptop via antenna to laptop right?

Yoga

Reading

Learning foreign instruments

Learning foreign language

Take classes

11 hours ago, TorquayFan said:

Just a few thoughtful posts on this thread, (and a deal of the usual rubbish), but Brand has been charged, which means there must be some significant evidence.

I think we should wait for the results of the Trials/Appeals . . .

Personally he appears to me to be a gross sleazebag and I always turned over/off if he appeared on my screens. But let Justice prevail.

You think in this age a woman walking into a police station accusing any man of tape is asked for "substantial evidence?"

14 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

This guy had everything he ever wanted and needed, fame, fortune, good looks, popularity, and recognition, and he threw it all away because he just did not seem to be able to handle the word NO. Despite the fact that thousands of gorgeous women were literally throwing themselves at him. That's what I call the very definition of a psychopathic super freak.

Why do you assume he's guilty?

Back in the day I never saw a female interviewer or attendant that didn't look like she wanted to blow him.

Weinstein abused his position Brand just cashed in.

7 hours ago, Hummin said:

Well, I will try to explain.

I guess most came here to Thai Visa forum for visa, bank, cheap flights, destinations, restaurants and travel tips, and maybe the majority also came for relationship and marriage advises as well. Then land and property, building, and DIY in general.

And now we are stuck for discussing politics in a loop and from a being a opportunistic positiv forum, most members have turned sour by age and time? Maybe not true for most, but it can feels so sometimes.

ChatGPT says or replies to my post and I do not agree being stuck here means you are unhappy, but I realize I could had done a lot more, even I do quite a bit every day, and still being to much here dropping by every hour or so, or between doing small things in the heat and rest in the showdowns. I should maybe pay more atttention to the small things around me instead of. Anyway it is a process, and the more I think I should spend less time online, it will manifest itself one day! Or ?

That feeling makes a lot of sense—and you’re probably not imagining it.

Many forums (especially expat or country-specific ones) start out practical and optimistic: visas, banking, flights, food, places to go, how to build a house, how to make life work. People arrive with plans and energy. The tone is problem-solving.

Over time, a few things tend to happen:

1. The original “why” gets solved

Once someone figures out their visa routine, bank setup, favorite airlines, restaurants, and DIY basics, they don’t need the forum in the same way anymore. The practical threads slow down.

2. Politics fills the vacuum

Politics is endlessly renewable, emotional, and never “resolved.” It gives people something to react to when there’s nothing urgent to fix. Unfortunately, it also loops—same arguments, same frustrations, same camps.

3. Survivor bias & aging

The people who stay active longest are often:

• Those who had disappointments

• Those who feel stuck

• Those with time and unresolved grievances

Meanwhile, the happy, settled, or busy ones quietly drift away. That can make the overall tone feel much more sour than the reality of the wider community.

4. Shift from “opportunistic” to “protective” mindset

Early expats ask: “What can I build here?”

Later-stage expats ask: “What am I losing?”

That shift alone changes how discussions sound—even if nothing objectively got worse.

5. Negativity is louder than contentment

People rarely post:

“Still happily married, visa works fine, food’s great, life’s okay.”

They do post when something annoys them. Over time, that skews perception.

Is it really that bad?

Probably not for most people living their lives—but it can feel that way inside a forum that’s become:

• Politically circular

• Emotionally fatigued

• Dominated by long-term voices rather than new arrivals

Forums don’t always age gracefully.

A quieter truth

Thailand (and life there) didn’t suddenly become joyless.

But forums often reflect unresolved emotions more than lived reality.

If you still see occasional:

• Genuine travel tips

• Newcomers asking earnest questions

• People building, fixing, adapting

Then the “old spirit” isn’t gone—it’s just buried under a lot of noise.

If you want, we can also talk about:

• How to mentally “use” such forums without absorbing the bitterness

• Or why relationship/marriage discussions tend to turn especially cynical over time

You’re definitely not alone in noticing this shift.

Great post.

I would add, posting costs nothing, at least financially and don't underestimate the number of old guys who don't want/can't spend money.

Also hard wired for connection which can't be had thru Google translate many an expat have not nearly enough connections here. Turning to social media to fill this hole so often brings out the frustration that years of under nourishment has produced.

"sorry mate*, I can't meet you tonight I'm posting on AN"

• An actual great friend you like

Is something never said by anyone, ever.

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I never use condoms as I prefer to keep my immortal soul.

Don't seem to have caught anything either.

That's impressive.

I've had many women I considered a "safe bet" and never caught anything.

I had sex three times with three different women I thought of as dodgy and caught three different diseases. One of which hundred years ago would have killed me.

9 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

There is an awkward reality about getting older as an aging man that nobody really likes to talk about. Desire does not disappear, but the dating scene often does. Attention fades, expectations rise, and what once felt natural starts to feel like effort with very low returns.

In my opinion, this leads to something interesting rather than tragic. Men living in Thailand that have the advantage where pay for play is easy and discreet find themselves in a position of fulfillment greater than they ever did, even when they were younger. No more pretending. No emotional labour. No future implied. Just an honest transaction, once or twice a week. Sex without the performance art.

Some of these men are not necessarily rejected by dating or relationships. They simply opt out. Been there, done that. They now value their quiet, their routines, and their solitude. They do not want a partner reshaping their life, nor consuming too much of their available time, but they also do not want celibacy as that price for independence.

So are they lucky?

Compared to men who age in places where these options do not exist, maybe they are. Those men often face a harsher choice. Loneliness, an expensive Only Fans subscription with oversized jars of lube versus the alternative of accepting endless participation in dating systems that no longer work for them. So neither given option is ideal.

It is not intimacy what you get for a couple thousand baht in the LOS, and nobody claims it is. But it does offer options and raise an uncomfortable question. Is it really sadder to pay for sex than to keep performing for interest and attention that is never coming back?

Sometimes what looks like decline from the outside is just pragmatism. And sometimes simplicity is not failure at all, but escape, relief and the freedom to choose.

Your post misses out the necessary condom use which makes sex rubbish for me.

It misses out the fakeness of any emotion expressed. I've worked in the service sector and my fake smile convinced everyone I wasn't bored stupid.

It misses out the hush hush moral component. Do you really want to bribe someone to have sex with you?

Don't we all aspire to be compassionate humans living by the rules of loving kindness? I'd feel pretty bad if I found out my daughter was having sex with old men for money. There's a reason for that feeling.

On 1/11/2026 at 4:46 AM, simon43 said:

Sorry, but you're p*ssing in the wind on this one.

No UK government will ever 'unlock' the frozen pensions...

(This from someone who 2 weeks ago returned to live in the UK after 23 years in Asia, with one driving factor in my decision being the frozen pensions).

Wow, have you posted any reflections since you returned? If not, pls do so 🙂

Everybody is prone to exaggeration of their past.

40 minutes ago, djb687 said:

She's with her phone all the time in the UK - always has been from day 1.

So, for sure she's on her phone all day there too.

When she's with UK how much does she use her phone to chat with family back in Thailand? That's what I'd be comparing.

Childless helps. Reasonable looks helps. Social skills help. Intellectual curiosity helps. Emotional resilience helps.

With the above very little money is needed. Fu money got for less than a UK state pension even.

1 hour ago, 3NUMBAS said:

Dr. John Gartner dissects Trump’s frequent boasts about cognitive tests and why his latest White House speech alarms mental health professionals.

 

https://www.thedailybeast.com:443/trump-mental-decline-is-accelerating-psychologist/

Mental decline is a man living in a new country caring about what happens in a place 10,000km away.

All, I mean, all the information you have about trump have come out of a screen.