Gsxrnz

Check in online means you technically can check in 30 minutes later. But the main advantage is that bugger-all people do that so the "checked in online" queue is always empty, meaning you can get your baggage checked and seat allocated without queuing. I'd recommend you definitely do this as you have a tight timeframe.

Edit: But at that time of the morning, I'd say you'll be lucky to clear baggage, re-check the baggage, get through passport control, and meet the required boarding time. Try as I said above, but just take hand luggage. You can also print your boarding pass and select a seat before you leave home and skip checking in at all, just go straight to passport control and then the gate.

Wear jogging shoes and jai yen-yen

I heard about a chap that couldn't insure his Aprilia and was dead scared of theft. As well as expensive alarms and disc locks, he retro fitted multi adjustable clip-ons and had them modified with quick releases where the control bars joined the forks. In 20 seconds he could undo them and remove the joining blocks and take them with him, leaving the clip-ons (complete with levers etc.) dangling beside the bike.

He figured it was hard to push a bike with no front wheel control, let alone ride it.

I've come through Swampy two dozen times and to this day I have not seen a customs official. I always arrive at 1am, which probably has something to do with it.

Meat pies are my nemesis and I bring more each time I come. Case was 20% meat product last time I arrived.

How do you do the pies?

My Lassie got the taste for a chunky beef one in Australia (that and a French Vanilla Slice) ... what's the process for freezing, wrapping for flight, keeping it cool so it doesn't spoil etc ... how do you do it?

hi dai i always fridge it first, then wrap in foil,then in between eg.towells in the front of the case where it will get the best support.

from home in the uk.to phuket 25hrs plus, with butter and still good on arrival.sausages and bacon freeze first wrap in a towel then put them in a plastic container.

I use three small insulated chilli-bags, the kind that you take to the rugby to put your beer in. But I add 2 of those frozen freezer thingies, I just call them cool-packs. They're frozen plastic liquid things that you add to a chilli-bag to keep things cooler.

Refrig before you pack. They're in my suitcase for about 18 hours and come out at refrigerator temperature. Throw in a towel to soak up the minimal moisture the cool-pack will release - no problem.

I've come through Swampy two dozen times and to this day I have not seen a customs official. I always arrive at 1am, which probably has something to do with it.

Meat pies are my nemesis and I bring more each time I come. Case was 20% meat product last time I arrived.

Mixed - Youngest son (18 at the time) thought I was doing the right thing and enjoying my golden years - Jeez I was only 49. He's since spent a year here with me and was/is supportive of me and my lifestyle. I had to lever him into the taxi to Swampy.

Oldest boy, then 25, was a bit confused. He's been here for a 3 week holiday and I was surprised at what a prude he'd become. He's not exactly over the moon about me being here but it's up to him. No rift or anything, he just couldn't adapt and comprehend many things, probably because he didn't try or want to try.

Daughter, then 23, was supportive and is still that way. She's coming here at Christmas so will see what happens.

As to the rest of my friends and colleagues, don't really care what they think. Anybody who gets vocal gets ignored and crossed of my Christmas card list, most vary between envious and confused.......most being envious.

What about you OP, you've asked the question but haven't given any detail.

Thais don't like sunshine - or being darker They don't like red cars either.

Using the typical Tesco angle parking as an example, the opposing rows are too close together, the slots are too narrow, and the angles are too sharp. I drive a Vigo and if there is one free slot and even if all the adjacent cars/trucks are parked perfectly (Ok, that's a rare event), I can't swing my truck into a slot - the steering and everything just works against it.

So I have to find a place with two vacant slots so I can get in. BUT.....if I park perfectly, and then somebody parks beside me, I have a bugger of a job getting out because everything is too tight. So guess what I do......I park exactly like the OP's picture.

This is Rome, baby!!

You're meant to drive in the direction of the arrows, and park front-in

Thanks for the um......."helpful" comment.

Using the typical Tesco angle parking as an example, the opposing rows are too close together, the slots are too narrow, and the angles are too sharp. I drive a Vigo and if there is one free slot and even if all the adjacent cars/trucks are parked perfectly (Ok, that's a rare event), I can't swing my truck into a slot - the steering and everything just works against it.

So I have to find a place with two vacant slots so I can get in. BUT.....if I park perfectly, and then somebody parks beside me, I have a bugger of a job getting out because everything is too tight. So guess what I do......I park exactly like the OP's picture.

This is Rome, baby!!

Hope the BIB don't pick up on the unintentional (I think) "brownie" pun, particularly as I see in another thread that one of the Thai nicknames for them is Boy Scouts.

Jeez - a recent multi page thread criticizing and haranguing the Kingdom for not having enough English language skills, and when they use the language we lambast them for it!

It's a no win situation!

nothing?! ...i thought you guys figure out at least the pastel colours of the bungalows...

Been out in the sun playing with your crayons again have you?

Can they still call them greenbacks?

I just found a new one I haven't seen before - could be extremely useful on TVisa.

AYFKMWTS

English is only the international language of diplomacy, banking, computing, medicine, business, science, technology, research, why should Thai be bothered learning it? Everyone knows Thai more important, lakorn always in Thai and so are the menu's.

What you say is true. English is the international language for all of those things and I don't dispute the need for Thailand to improve its ranking in the English language stakes. But in reality one has to ask what practical use English will be to the average Thai, given that it is an agrarian based economy with the vast majority of the population never coming into contact with English speaking people, nor having to conduct any sort of business in English, nor in fact getting a education that would ever let them progress to any where near these levels.

Sure, in the tourist areas it's different and I'm sure if the study were only conducted in these areas then Thailand would no doubt come out higher on the scale.

How many of the children currently in school or university right now will become diplomats, bankers, business leaders, scientists, researchers, or rocket engineers? Doubtful if it would even be 1%.

Maybe Thailand isn't sufficiently mature enough yet to throw real resource and effort at improving English. In the medium term the reward versus effort would not warrant the investment. From a business perspective, it would be money down the drain.

Pattaya (Thai: พัทยา, พัทยา (help·info), RTGS: Phatthaya, Thai pronunciation: [pʰát.tʰā.jāː])

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/30/Th-pattaya.ogg

Muich close to 'Pad-Tai-Yar' to my ears than 'Putt-Tai-Yar' ...

Our ears come from a different side of the ditch I think.

พอแล้ว

Using PUTT as in golf is the closest way to describe it for the English ear. Phat with a high tone is probably a better transliteration but that would probably cause more confusion. The ability to read Thai doesn't give anybody an advantage in saying it as a native.

Otherwise it's just semantics.

You get it wrong too, it's not pat as in pat the dog, the first syllable rhymes with cut.

Perhaps put, as in golf would have been a more fitting example.

But then again, maybe the OP comes from Yorkshire, in which case his example would be correct because a yorkshireman would pronounce "pat the dog" as we would pronounce put/cut in correct English.

But you are correct. The pronunciation is (using oxford English):

Put (as in golf)

tar (as in tar the road, but almost verging on saying the word "tare") and no stress on the syllable as many Falang do.

yaar (as in yar), but spoken with a long "a". This syllable should be in a lower tone than the first two.

If you want to hear a Thai saying it properly, go here: http://www.thai-language.com/id/13258

But if you pronounce it properly most Falang give you a dodgy look.

Otherwise, enjoy your night in Paddya.

Oh - and OP, I think the song you're referring to is sung by a Falang called Lou Depryck. He's a Belgian, which probably explains why he can't pronounce it properly.

If all these girls are making 200k a month, one wonders why many of them choose to live with or marry a Falang and give up their lucrative incomes. I bet there's frig all blokes willing to part with 200k a month for the privilege of living with the most drop dead gorgeous coyote or gogo dancer.

Myths easily become urban legend in Thailand. A good earner might clear 50k on a good high season month. Some may make a little more, most will make a dam_n sight less. No doubt there are a few that make considerably more but they will be the exception and in the top what......1 or 2 percentile.

LD gets them 30b. They might pick up 10 PP balls at 20b a pop, group tips might come to 200b, and they might get 300b as personal tips. If they do a ST or LT they score say 2,500 average and miss out on time to get personal tips or LD's. Add their salary of 400b per day, less fines for being absent or sick, and not meeting their LD or BF quota, plus having to pay their own BF occasionally to recover from overworking, and you do the math. An exceptional night for most of them would be 4k, but more likely to be 2k or less. Over the course of a month that will balance out to 50k or less for the huge majority.

Sure, some dick goes in and throes a few thousand baht all over the floor, but not in every bar and not every night. Sure, some two week millionaire wally gets pissed and tips a girl 500b for a quick feel. Sure, some girl has a birthday and scores 10k in one night from idiot Falang stapling money around her neck. These are the exceptions and not the rules.

And I'm not talking about those that have a single or multiple sponsors and are still working - they deserve all they earn for their business acumen, effort, and dedication.

The OP is talking about 'coyote dancers' not bar girls or go-go dancers.

It's a completely 'art' form, mainly for Thais, and does not necessarily involve prostitution.

They are often seen performing at weddings and pop concerts in a family orientated environment.

In the context of BKK and Pattaya Falang nightlife, I know what a coyote dancer is - apparently you don't.

To describe it as an art form in this context is ludicrous. The dancers in the coyote bars do little more than the traditional "Pattaya shuffle". I know every coyote bar in Patts. In fact they are doing the true coyote dancing professionals (see below) a disservice by calling the bars coyote bars, or calling the girls coyote dancers.

Perhaps you're talking about the professional coyote dancers seen at car shows and other public functions throughout Thailand, as well as supporting musical performances at Thai bars, as well as performing at private functions such as company/product launches and weddings. If so, then these are not what the OP is referring to. They in fact are the true coyote dancers. The alleged coyote dancers in virtually every bar in pattaya are gogo dancers with clothes on doing the Pattaya shuffle, hustling drinks and barfines.

If all these girls are making 200k a month, one wonders why many of them choose to live with or marry a Falang and give up their lucrative incomes. I bet there's frig all blokes willing to part with 200k a month for the privilege of living with the most drop dead gorgeous coyote or gogo dancer.

Myths easily become urban legend in Thailand. A good earner might clear 50k on a good high season month. Some may make a little more, most will make a damn sight less. No doubt there are a few that make considerably more but they will be the exception and in the top what......1 or 2 percentile.

LD gets them 30b. They might pick up 10 PP balls at 20b a pop, group tips might come to 200b, and they might get 300b as personal tips. If they do a ST or LT they score say 2,500 average and miss out on time to get personal tips or LD's. Add their salary of 400b per day, less fines for being absent or sick, and not meeting their LD or BF quota, plus having to pay their own BF occasionally to recover from overworking, and you do the math. An exceptional night for most of them would be 4k, but more likely to be 2k or less. Over the course of a month that will balance out to 50k or less for the huge majority.

Sure, some dick goes in and throes a few thousand baht all over the floor, but not in every bar and not every night. Sure, some two week millionaire wally gets pissed and tips a girl 500b for a quick feel. Sure, some girl has a birthday and scores 10k in one night from idiot Falang stapling money around her neck. These are the exceptions and not the rules.

And I'm not talking about those that have a single or multiple sponsors and are still working - they deserve all they earn for their business acumen, effort, and dedication.

I too would like to report that I have been scammed out of millions of baht - about 20 million I reckon at the last count !

I came to Thailand in 1996 and met a beautiful talented capable Thai lady - she conned me into falling in love with her and then has proceeded to extract money from me for the next 17 years !

She conned me into an engagement ring, a marriage visa to the UK where she conned me into a wedding ring and marriage !

After that she conned me into getting her Indefinite Right to Stay in the UK as well as visas to visit America, France, Germany, Holland, Italy, Malta, Dubai and Egypt for all expenses paid holidays in 5* hotels and resorts.

As if this wasn't enough she conned me into seeding her brother's business and I paid her other brother to build a house here in Thailand.

Furthermore she conned me into a year's beauticians course and a stay in Bangkok and then into providing the start up capital for her own beauty parlour.

To add insult to injury she conned me into selling up in the UK and moving to Thailand where she keeps me prisoner in her luxurious palace which is the envy of all the neighbours !

In return for my board and lodgings I am obliged to pay all the bills electricity, gas, internet and CTH TV plus all the food to feed us, her ageing mother, anyone who happens to drop by and the lazy fat monk who stands out front with his bespoke vacuum flask and begging bowl every morning.

The final con trick she's trying to pull is not satisfied with the Honda 125 I bought her she now wants to upgrade to a Honda City car.

I'm thinking of taking the advice here from those that know better and reporting her to the Royal Thai Police.

She has to be one of the top scam artists in Thailand

Yeah, being married can be a bitch can't it!

I nearly forgot the Caribbean cruise from Fort Lauderdale to Key West, Mexico, the Cayman islands and Jamaica ?

I've lost count of the my friend's got so I must have the "up to the minute" mobile phones and the two computers in recent years.

Did I mention the "I haven't got a thing to wear" shopping trips, the 50 pairs of shoes and all the anniversary presents !

The gold from the souk in Dubai and the Nile cruise, the black pearls from Florence and the Rado watch.

Not to mention all the household stuff like beds, fans, AC, TV sets, washing machines, kitchen equipment etc etc.

I didn't realise it before but I must be one of the biggest suckers on the planet !

Thanks OP for opening my eyes to this massive scam !

I'm calling the Royal Thai Police as soon as she goes to sleep and gets off the phone

Only 50 pairs of shoes? She's definitely low maintenance, you should count yourself very lucky!