a2396

As for the over 30 woman you describe, I never met such. Most over 30 I have seen here are as conservative as my old maid auntie and much more "fussy" as to the requirements of a Farang partner, in terms of age, appearance, and financial resources, than a 20 something. The over 30's give me quite a "going-over" (in terms of what they expect), which I do not get from a younger one.

Interesting observation on your experiences.  That runs contrary to most psychological studies and my own experiences.  Where do you usually meet women?  I would be curious as to their demographics.

I don't mean to be nosy, but my curiosity drives me to ask the general numbers of 20-somethings and 30-somethings you have dated (but I understand if you tell me that is none of my business.    )

In my own observations, and I will winnow this down to sexual-type activities as the reference was to "conservative" women, while some 20-somethings will jump into bed at the drop of a hat, others are far more hesitant and will only do so if they are very comfortable that there is a serious relationship going, and other holds fast to the "wait-until-marriage" rule.  One the other hand, for let's say mid-30's and above, even women who were virgins until late in life are far more apt to enjoy even casual sex without a hard-and-fast emotional committment.  Not all, certainly, I am sure, but many more 35 or 45 year olds fit that category than 20 year olds.

Any female posters out there who can comment?

I have not "dated" very many of the over 30 group, because I was turned off with them from my earlier years here (about 5 years ago). I happened to meet a Thai lady "matchmaker" in the course of my "cruising", who had over 100 women clients, many of whom were over 30-35. Some had been married before and had children. I had occasion to meet many of them and to be present during many of their "discussions". At least from what they said, they were not exactly an open-minded bunch, when it came to sex and what they would and would not do. In addition, I had the experience of a Buddha marriage to a very attractive woman of 35, who before the wedding would not have sex with me. Well, AFTER the wedding she would not have sex with me either. This went on for about 3 months, until I had my matchmaker friend talk to the woman's Mother, who then set the girl straight. But, even after that, the sex was not exactly "gushing". Needless to say, I was disgusted with the whole lot. It was clear the deal was only about money. The woman I would rate as a general "cold fish" who seemed to be not interested in sex with anyone Thai or Farang.

Now, I tend to keep my selections to the 20 something group and defiantly steer clear on those who are "marriage only" girls. Of course, there are other maturity problems that are more prevalent with the 20's group. But, they tend much more free minded and capable of independent thinking. I have never made selections from bar girls and have met them through friends or some from the internet. I don't live in BKK, which may account for some of the conservative nature I find here in Issan as well as the "money-grubbing" mentality.

From what I have seen, If they are 30+ and "conservative", the ball never gets rolling. They have spent most or all of their adult life "keeping a lid on it". I never saw one change.

When most women get into their 30's, their estrogen levels start dropping, and they become more sexually charged.  So they have a higher sex drive than they did when they were younger.  And there is the emotional aspect of loneliness or the idea that they are missing their window for children.  For many reasons, a significant number of Thai women who were "conservative" when they were younger open up and discover and then explore the sexual aspect of life.

What they are after, by the way, is money. Love and sex they can get from a Thai man.

Some, undoubtedly.  Or some feel Thai men cannot be trusted to remain monogamous.  Or some want a half-white baby.  Or some are attracted to the exotic (just as Western women(and men) are).  Or some get caught up in the Hollywood love stories.  Or some have a friend/sister/cousin who married a foreigner and is happy.  Or whatever.  

Writing what they all "are after" is just as incorrect as to write that all Western men who come to Thailand are motivated by the same thing and pursue that in the same way.

I did not mean by use of the word "they" to mean all Thai women. What I meant was a high percentage of Thai women, who have relationships with foreigners. Thai to Thai is a whole different "kettle of fish". As for the over 30 woman you describe, I never met such. Most over 30 I have seen here are as conservative as my old maid auntie and much more "fussy" as to the requirements of a Farang partner, in terms of age, appearance, and financial resources, than a 20 something. The over 30's give me quite a "going-over" (in terms of what they expect), which I do not get from a younger one.

From what I have seen, If they are 30+ and "conservative", the ball never gets rolling. They have spent most or all of their adult life "keeping a lid on it". I never saw one change. What they are after, by the way, is money. Love and sex they can get from a Thai man.

I did my 'on line dating' before the companies saw the oportunities for [lonely] men and [hungry]women to meet. The good old days when Yahoo.com/personals was free and somewhat honest/naive.

One meeting with a girl taught me a lesson early. We exchanged many emails, maybe 50 before I was convinced that she was not only educated but fluent in English.....this was before everybody had cel phones, so we didn't speak before meeting.

to make a long story short, I took a plane trip just to meet her [and family] and upon meeting, I saw she was not only fatter than her fotos, but her English skills were barely there and my first question to her was....'Was that you writing the emails?' and her reply was 'No, it was my Katoey friend"

That was 15+yrs ago and never again [for me].

That's not to say that there are legitimate girls out there that can be met and a successful relationship can possibly happen. I know of several success stories, but at least an equal amount of sad stories.

I ended up trying another approach that proved successful. Having 'played' in the bars of Pats and BKK, i saw that lots of the girls came from Issan and were mostly nice girls down on their luck and having to survive with few skills except their bodies........ but quickly learned the tricks of the trade and became spoiled. I tried to tame a few and saw the futility in that approach, so i got on the train and headed for 'the factory outlet' in the search for a nice Issan girl that had not yet made the transition to bar girl and I got lucky and found my wife of 10yrs now.

Oh, and she had a college education {for what that is worth here} and spoke passable English that has improved over the last 10 yrs.

Good post. However, I live in Issan and it is no piece of cake finding any educated women, who have the slightest interest in a Farang. Maybe, if you were within 5 yrs age range AND had other things to offer them, such as a ticket to your country & marriage. My procedure for internet cruising is to chat with them once & get a phone number to determine their English skills. Many of them are using translation software or other people who can write English to do their computer work. 95% cannot speak passable English.

At the almost-certain risk of getting flamed/laughed at, I have to ask for some advice on this very topic. The whole reason I'm reading this thread is cause of what happened last night and this morning.

In my early 30s, haven't been here that long. Girl contacts me on Tagged. Pictures mainly look like she's a good girl, some a little not-so-good. Last night we meet at a night market. I'm considering it a date. I ask questions, she laughs. I don't go out of my way to pay for too much but she goes out of her way to make sure she's paying her share. I feel the conversation isn't going too well and once our food is finished she looks ready to go. I'm thinking: date is a bust, no chemistry. That's OK. Don't care.

I get a text from her a few minutes after we split. Then an email when I get home. Then another couple of emails this morning with an "XO" and time she's out of school today. Now, some of you might be shaking your heads at me, but I'm new here so don't be too harsh guys. Is she in the game? Or is this standard Thai girl behavior?

More to the point, is there some kind of text I can send that would confirm this, without being too overt. I'm thinking "Want to come over and watch a movie?"

Or should I just say "How much?"

TT

For most of them, their behavior is totally unpredictable and defies rationality.

Because of the thousands of men that have parted with their cash and purchased house's cars etc in Thailand to a Thai Lady and many times within months of meeting them It has really stuffed it up for any chance of a honest loving relationship with 90 percent of the Thai women .

People are in la la land if they think anything different , and yes I am speaking from experience

They mix together compare stories and assets and they will move on if you won't live up to their demands.

It is simply the Power Of The Pussy v The Power Of The Mans Brain.

And I the think we all know which one has the lower odds at the bookies.

AGREED 100% But, there is always the remaining 10%. You might get lucky. Hope springs eternal. I think I have found one, but the jury is still out yet, because she is overseas until September.

you need to get real. we knoe why the girls do it.

explain whjy the men do it.

Certainly, the men are 50% of the problem, spending like drunken sailors on women they know little about and, It is quite unbelievable, the amount of money squandered here.

On the off chance that you really mean what you post and are not trolling, (and when I look at each of your previous posts, they all seem to be in the same vein), I will write this. What you describe can just as easily describe some women anywhere in the world and is not only a Thai phenomenon.

Furthermore, what you describe is only accurate for a very small portion of women anywhere.

Sorry, but I don't agree with you. This IS a Thai phenomenon. I have lived in Malaysia for one year and never saw anything to the extent of fleecing foreign men as to what goes on in Thailand. It is almost like these women (Thai) are operating by some sort of "union rules". I get the same kind or similar methods of operation (MO) with many, many of them. Of course, the majority of Thai women are honest and do not stoop to such tactics. It just seems to be with those who get involved with foreign men. In such cases, ethics go out the window. ..and I am NOT talking about bar girls & hookers.

You ever think what happened to some of these women previouisly?? I know one who had a farang husband who after she got pregnant with twins buggered off with a bar girl, do you not think this might make her a little more " hardened" when meeting any other men? Two sides to many stories

I pretty much go out mostly with university graduates, whether here or in other countries including back home. That is just my preference as I think there is more commonality there and a better chance of a match. But when I first started dating here (not when I was here in 1982 or 1996, but when I came back to start working here a few years back) I was intrigued by a young woman in Surin. OK, I will admit it was mostly her photos, including one in a bikini which was amazingly impressive. Her English was excellent, but she was still quite young and had only graduated from high school.

I had to drive to Buriram, so I made a detour to meet her. When this lovely Aphrodite showed up at the KFC where we agreed to meet, I was rather shocked to see she was 8 1/2 months pregnant. Seems her Swedish boyfriend enjoyed her as arm-candy and a sex toy, but after she got pregnant, he ran away faster than you could say "child support."

I saw the photos of them in Phuket, Pattaya, Bangkok, etc. I saw her small apartment when I drove her there. And I could see the obvious result in her belly. So I did believe her story.

So what would you do? You are pregnant, kicked out of your home for dating a farang and then getting pregnant, no work, no skills, an apartment lease expiring. I didn't become her sugar daddy, and I didn't appreciate the deception, but I could certainly see her motivation for being a little less than honest in our e-mails and her desperation to find any avenue of support.

I can understand someone not telling the whole truth, when in the introductory stages. Not usual. Unfortunately, with many this deception continues on and on. It's almost like they are incapable of a straight-forward relationship, such as I would know back home.

U got one for free sex? How much do you pay the others?

Why did you choose to live in this city. What part of Thailand? How big is the city? How long do you intend to stay there? You should know by now, don't believe ANYTHING these women tell you, unless you have the means to verify it. Most of them are just pathological liars. Don't have sex or even visit their residence, unless you know what is up.

LOL i dont mean to sound all high and mighty (i know someones gonna have a dig anyway) but ive met a lot of Thai girls but none of them have been pathological liars...

Can i take a stab in the dark and guess that you arent meeting your girls at a university singles night?

Most of the ones I have met in the past 5 years are essentially incapable of telling the truth. Often it may not be direct lies, but half-truths or just not revealing important, relevant facts about their life, that might affect a relationship. It's the "Thai way". I don't select my partners from bars & parlors. Univ students where I live pretty much stick to their own kind. I don't see a lot of them mingling with foreign men, unless they might be fellow students.

Why did you choose to live in this city. What part of Thailand? How big is the city? How long do you intend to stay there? You should know by now, don't believe ANYTHING these women tell you, unless you have the means to verify it. Most of them are just pathological liars. Don't have sex or even visit their residence, unless you know what is up.

Maybe so, Kuhn S. There are Thai women here in the NE who have no problem generating their monthly incomes strictly from sticking it to wealthy Thai males; and they have never even met nor any desire to meet a farang.

I will second that. I have been introduced to a few. One was said to get 50k bht per mo + he bought her a house & car. She was a mia noi to a Thai gent. But, these women are young, beautiful & sexy and know how to work the system. Not every 20 something girl has got all the attributes.

I NEVER met any Thai woman making anything close to 50k bht per month. I've never had the opportunity to mix & mingle with the high-so crowd, as so many of you fortunate gents. Where I live, the locals I meet are lucky to make 5K, if they have a job at all. I only met one in 6 years, where I wasn't expected to pay (on a date). She was an anomaly. Her education and income was quite above the norm that I see.

When I first met my thai G/F in September 2009 after meeting through the internet she would not allow me to pay towards anything saying that I was her guest.She earned 58,000 baht/month in Bangkok-chinese/thai from a nice family.

BKK Chinese ain't quite the same as Issan rural. Apples & oranges I do say. I would also bet your lady is over 35 or 40?

I have no problem to give the little darlings REASONABLE money, if I have some relationship with them and am getting something in return (U boys know what I mean). What is "off the map" are those which ask for money, before I even met them, or have no personal interaction with them. I just had one yesterday, who I had met twice, very casually. I had not seen her in probably 3 months. She asked me for 3,000 bht. She said her family was going to Phuket. Of course, the answer was no. Guys, who are living overseas, and sending money to these women, often who they have never met, are nuts.

I NEVER met any Thai woman making anything close to 50k bht per month. I've never had the opportunity to mix & mingle with the high-so crowd, as so many of you fortunate gents. Where I live, the locals I meet are lucky to make 5K, if they have a job at all. I only met one in 6 years, where I wasn't expected to pay (on a date). She was an anomaly. Her education and income was quite above the norm that I see.

You dont have to b e hi-so to get a good income, my wife is from the North like many, but able to think a bit.

90,000 bht per month? What is her job, might I ask and her education. Many Thai gov't officials with many years service don't make that. The highest earning woman I ever met here was an Amway "top dog" who said she made 140,000. Since I remembered this lady from a few years back, I will have to correct my first statement, that I have met one that made over 50,000. I am talking about women who I might have been considering for a relationship, who were also available.

Maybe they need to read the recent news from Mexico.

Baja_California_developments_boom_to_bust.rtf

Mexico No.2? They've got to be joking. OK if you don't mind the drug war shootings & kidnappings. Even the Mexicans are sick of it.

This has got a 7 page, 40 post per page response written all over it

Not until the OP gives the source of this information, otherwise it`s just hearsay.

It ain't hearsay for these agencies to put the sin sod demands up front, packaged as "Thai Culture". I read one website that stated "if you don't pay sin sod, she is likely a bar girl." I don't know about the matter of sin sod for women with kids, but I wouldn't doubt it, knowing the mentality of these so-called marriage brokers.

I NEVER met any Thai woman making anything close to 50k bht per month. I've never had the opportunity to mix & mingle with the high-so crowd, as so many of you fortunate gents. Where I live, the locals I meet are lucky to make 5K, if they have a job at all. I only met one in 6 years, where I wasn't expected to pay (on a date). She was an anomaly. Her education and income was quite above the norm that I see.

Rule No. 1: Don't waste time!

Never do any extended emailing, chatting etc. It is a total waste of time doing this with a stranger. Instead: meet up as soon as possible. Just 1-2 hours in a coffee shop. This short meeting is much more worth than weeks of chatting and mailing.

Rule No. 2: Take her to bed at the third meeting.

If you are a healthy normal man, you don't want to waste time on this too. I normally go for the second meeting, but if she shows promising attitudes, I give her another chance at the third meeting. Don't wait any longer: there are lots of psychos there who just want to abuse you for having some entertainment and free meals. And those who hold back with sex will also do it in a later relationship or use sex to gain something from you. Both is not what you want, so move on quickly after the 3rd meeting.

Rule No. 3: There are lots of good girls outside the dating sites. Once you follow my rules 1+2, you will have sufficient time to go for these girls too.

really?? I respect your view, but in general, my experieces were the opposite.. the first one made me wait until I came back to LOS the second time.. my future wife made me wait 18 MONTHS!! After marriage this changed DRASTICALLY.. to the point where..well, I'll let you guess

signed: every day

btw.. my experiences confirmed what I read and heard.. that, in general, educated Asian women without kids at age 30 have had WAY less sexual partners than the corresponding farang from Europe/north america..so much for the stigma of asian women that they are so loose

I wouldn't wait 18 days, let alone 18 months. If you want to wait that long, you might as well become a monk. True about the older Thai women (over 30). Many don't have a clue which end is up. Like an old maid auntie back home.

Thailand unified its culture in the 1930's.

R U sure?

Because in my experience, you can use the online method to screen potential prospects... But you can't really know if someone is worth a relationship until you've met in person and spent some time together.

As for Thai women who are potential mates for farang, in general, especially those who are online, I'd say fall into 3 general categories.

1 - those looking to get paid on a nighly basis...

2 - those looking for a relationship that involves a monthly salary in one form or another.

3 - those looking for a good relationship and future husband...

In my experience, the largest group is likely to be #2, followed by #1, and then those in #3 being the rarer, harder to find types..

You are correct.

I wonder what % of number 1 and number 2 candidates are actually the real person doing the corresponding. I was swapping messages with one girl in KK for a long while before I realised the person I was talking to was actually the operator of a small english language school/translation service. She took a cut of any moneies the girls made from their meetings with farang men. She told me the best were the Japanese guys as they were not all lovey dovey as farang men can get, they knew the score and paid more handsomely without the emotional attachement many farang men seem to hold on the girls.

It was all volentary on the girls part, most could not speak english very well if at all, so she was just a facilitator, but I did wonder how she slept at night setting these farang blokes up for such a fall. Most of the emails and messages were full of declarations of love for the girl the farang guy had never even met. It was quite interesting whilst very sad at the same time.

Exactly true. I have personally met 3 or 4 people (woman & men) who are doing exactly what you describe. If possible, try to determine that you are talking to the actual lady, preferably by phone. But, the whole Internet game is even more risky, if you don't live in Thailand.

the best way to meet thai women is just go to thailand and meet them in person wherever..however...meeting them on the internet is an alternative for those that have never been there yet and want to have someone waiting for them when they arrive, plain and simple

Having a woman waiting here for you is dangerous for many of us. Even if she is only somewhat appealing to you, she quickly gets her hooks into you (good sex, treating you like a king: cutting your toe nails, ear and nose hair, etc. ). Then the idea of getting to know a different woman who may be a better fit becomes encumbered with feeling of guilt. The longer you stay with her, the more the difficulty until you can become trapped. Happens a lot. That's why many guys returning here after a visit don't return to the same woman, an easy though arguably cowardly escape from a relationship you know you don't want long term. BTDT

Want to have a woman waiting for you at the airport? Never mind. Take a taxi to Pattaya or stay in BKK and go anywhere. Look for a smile and that woman is interested. No matter how unattractive or fat you may be, very attractive (young if you prefer) women will be interested in you. Have a pleasant expression, don't act like a snob or a jerk, and a decent women will not be quickly turned off.

Don't think the internet is needed for you to meet a woman here! It isn't! It is hard for many of us who are not given a second glance by a woman back in the west to understand this, but it is true. Surprising to the newbie here, but 100% true.

You are making quite an exaggeration. Finding a quality, educated woman in LOS is NOT easy. Low end, no education women, who are in the game for money are a "dime a dozen" here. True enough.

interested to know, what are the best sites? never tried before (being local it did not seem necessary) but now want to see what its all about. I heard Hi5 was one but not sure.

hi5 is in Thai only.

No it's not. They're an American firm that just happens to be popular in Asia; getting killed by facebook as of late.

I use Camfrog, at least you get to see the person, but it takes ages to filter out a potential partner.

I only see the page written in Thai, not English. Fine if you can read Thai. Doesn't matter who owns them, if you cant read Thai.