a2396

He's probably just curious what you thought about it. Tell him you just got off the boat and don't know up from Adam about Thai politics. You are just a foreigner, who has no say in Thai politics, in any case. I can't believe all the posts on this site ragging on and on about this or that political issues here. Unless you are a citizen with voting rights, your opinion means zero.

Thai girts stay hotter longer? Not from what I have seen here. Many are conservative fuddy-duddies by age 35 or earlier. Thai lady no do this, Thai lady no do that.

Hmmm... try another internet dating site. You will be surprised.

I've seen enough of them and reached my own conclusions. Over 35 =

Conservative/Old-Fashioned

Usually Poor English

Usually Poor Education

Often has children & "baggage" from previous relationships

Frequently has no job

Still lives with parents

More in need of money and/or a quick marriage than the younger ones

Possibly had time spent working in "entertainment venues"

Not as flexible or open-minded as 20 something and not as prone to "truth-telling"

Of course, the young ones come with their own set of hazards, but they are not as tiresome as the older ones. Dealing with the women is probably the number one challenge to living here.

been here since 2004 have read a lot of bullshit, really seen ups and downs , have a woman that cares loves, cares for her family children. if it all went belly-up so what life has to go on or else put the gu* to the head and say bye now that's bullshit live it now, is this not what life is all about .

this is a troll bullshit tread have read this one hundred times already.

Everyone seems to be ignoring my obvious observation. If you come to Thailand to seek women for long term relationships that are way out of your league then chances are, you will be burned. I Thai chick will take a free ride if you offer it. Does that make them bad ? NO. If your a 5 and your marrying an 9 you are screwed.

why not stick with girls that are reasonably close to your league. If you are the best that they can do then where are they going to go ?

Yes you are being ignored, now go and play in the traffic lights. Have you ever thought that people just didnt want to talk about this troll bait of yours, yet again, its been covered enough in thai visa.

My guess is that my post is ignored because, considering the average age of the posters, people don't want me to rain on their parade. Thai girls stay hotter longer so why not find a girl close to your own league ?

Thai girts stay hotter longer? Not from what I have seen here. Many are conservative fuddy-duddies by age 35 or earlier. Thai lady no do this, Thai lady no do that.

I couldn't read it either, but what a load of b*llocks anyway. There is nothing in any of these stories that is really about Thai girls, it's all just about girls or women full stop. You get the same sh*t if not worse from marrying any other nationality. Thai girls can be hard nosed but that's only because they have had harder lives sometimes than us, but <deleted>, it's not because they're Thai is it?

I am still waiting to hear the age gap between the two....... And yes, it does matter.

i am 42 years old, she is 32 , i am a decent looking guy (i think) have all my hair , dress well ,keep myself in shape, go to the gym when i can , i have money in the bank , i work hard ,untill recently when recession hit , i love my kids,( i still love my wife) i am generous ,maybe too much but yes off course i have my bad points , too many beers at weekend being one of them

A 32 year old Asian girl can still be very attractive. She could just as easily have the same amount of sex appeal now as she did when she was 25. So basically you are an average 42 year old man with a 25 year old partner, sounds like trouble to me.

So, you have reduced the girls age down to 25? Quite a leap in logic. I have seen more than a few Thia women who are 32 (or thereabouts), who have "been through the mill" already. I wouldn't jump to conclusions bout her until you met her. A ten year age gap is a non-issue. More likely problem is his drinking & how much.

been here since 2004 have read a lot of bullshit, really seen ups and downs , have a woman that cares loves, cares for her family children. if it all went belly-up so what life has to go on or else put the gu* to the head and say bye now that's bullshit live it now, is this not what life is all about .

this is a troll bullshit tread have read this one hundred times already.

Everyone seems to be ignoring my obvious observation. If you come to Thailand to seek women for long term relationships that are way out of your league then chances are, you will be burned. I Thai chick will take a free ride if you offer it. Does that make them bad ? NO. If your a 5 and your marrying an 9 you are screwed.

why not stick with girls that are reasonably close to your league. If you are the best that they can do then where are they going to go ?

Have we established they are not in the same league??

All the better to kick you with, my dear.

Well I feel a bit disturbed about the fact even with all those comments there is not really even one good advice

from any poster who from experience can say how things can turn other wise as well .

I think that in any relationship , not only farang-Thai , relationships are shaky in the first couple of years ,

both have to get adopted and be ready to change some ways so that a relastionship is possible .

In a Thai - farang relationship its double tough , because of hard communication , and the lack of understanding

how the other interpreted a given situation , something said or action , which could become another miscommunication/understanding fight .

That is very different I have learned , and the key to make a foreign relationship work is to give it time and try to look at youself as well , not everything from your little world who knows it all , you don't , experience does .

But it takes two to tango , the OP's wife has issues , as you do yourself , in my opinion , to slap somebody who you supposed to love , is only throwing oil on the fire at your own demise , but anyway its all emotional reaction .

And the emotional control is the part which can make things turn around in your or any relationship , but especially with Thai .

The best advise is , is to IGNORE her in anything an at anything at all times when she is unreasonable , believe me it works .

In that way you can test her , if she has got any feeling for you and your daughter she wil try to approach you and you can speak out , and perhaps have a new chance , cause you will have some emotional blackmail to remind her that she is awful again . Although it might be the OP's is a nucklehead and hardone , I would not underestimate her aswell .

I hope some of my experience of being in Thailand for eleven years , married for eight , and having a son of seven ,

is enough for some of you to think otherwise , and mine was a stubborn one too , things changed because silence made her think , and me as well , we havent had an argument for at least 3 years .....We never really had big arguments but in the beginning all is hard I guess .

If you took the energy to take her all the way to your home country , it should be worth to give it another try as well , for GOD sake , to it for your daughter , at least when she leaves while staying unreasnable , you will never feel guilty to yourself and to your daughter you did't try anything .

The Op should take his responsiblity , and my advise would be to take your own expectations away for a while , perhaps your wife just needs more appreciation and attention from you , like I said your took her there and you should do more ,

not the material things , the communication thing .

If you don;t understand what I mean , there will be no chance from the start .

You are lucky. In my ripe old age, I don't think I have ever seen anyone change their basic behavior, Thai or western. It is a rare and bountiful relationship, when you can get discussion, give & take, understanding and successful compromise. I think such is next to impossible, with the language deficiencies that abound in Thai/Farang relationships. It is difficult enough when you both speak the same language.

Strawberries don't grow on trees.

Spaghetti does though.

And money too!! All my ladies think so.

My GF wants to get "stucked" too, but I have been to busy lately.

I can only explain from MPOV but I hope this brings a spring to your step after you have thought long a hard.

1 I am from the UK and when I first left the UK to go live in the US, then China now Thailand I hated every place I moved to and in some ways I do not like Thailand even now after living her for near to 10 years. What made me stay here was work and foremost my future wife. As I met her I was on my way back to the UK, Thailand had just got under my skin too much. What I learned in the forthcoming years was, where you live and your lifestyle is the people around you, friends family, work mates etc.

2 Western work ethics are so important to keep.

The day I left the west for the east, and this was worse in some parts of southern China and Thailand, the work ethic is just.... well there is not one. All sabai sabai, I am not trying to post that this is bad, it is just the way it is, but it is not my work ethic. I still work 10 hours a day but now errr in doors is next to me and we share the burden and have fun doing it. I have seen many a good man fall here and to stop this it is paramount you keep your original work ethic. Thailand is a wonderful country with equally wonderful people, you just need to see through some of the less natural things for us, that most Thai's seem to do as we are 2 different people and very different countries.

3 I would have no problem moving back to the UK tomorrow, asking me to move back to the US or China would have to involve a really big pay packet but I still would. As for the UK I would move back with the same money as I make here in Thailand no problems and I would be just as happy. Due to my work I have to talk to many expats and huge numbers of them sound like prisoners in Thailand as they feel that where they come from is so bad and they just can not go back but they hate so much about Thailand. It seems sad to me. I love my country and I left for work only.

I only hear people pointing out the bad things of there home country and the good of here and as time moves on the bad of here. Let's try it the other way around.

Thailand: Incredible heat mixed withing near to underwater levels of humidity.

UK: Cool Autumn mornings with lavish reds and browns on the trees clean crisp air that when you take a deep breath you can feel it move through your lungs.

Thailand: Rancid sweet cheap bread.

UK: Wonderful cottage loves with a bitter slightly burnt area at the bottom, with a yeasty malty flavor.

Thailand: Worst bottle beer in the world next to the US

UK: Massive selections of cask condition ales with 1000's of flavors and smells.

Thailand: Strawberries that are more expensive than liquid gold and are like sour bon's bon's from a local sweet shop.

UK: Big soft sweet bags of fruitiness that when you walk up a country path you can pick of the tree's for free.

Thailand: Wine that is more expensive than UK gasoline and that tastes near the same.

UK: Wine from around the world and good prices and amazing flavors.

I could write a book like this.

Every country has something amazing to offer you, it is just that you have to know what you like and take advantage of it.

American beer worse than Thai? Such a slam to poor USA and a gross over-generalization. Maybe American "water beers", such as Bud & a few others. But, in America you can find a multitude of good locally produced micro brews and hundreds of imports, which are unavailable in Thailand.

I do agree about the strawberries & the wine. USA strawberries, in the supermarket, same, same as Thailand, unless you live next to the farm.

Although she may not have imported amphetamines into the country, she may still have technically breached the law through a false customs declaration pertaining to the tea containers.

1) Did she provide a false declaration? She may have declared it anyway, not being sure whether it is to be allowed or not. Hence she is not prosecuted nor fined for a false declaration.

2) Nestea is in dried powdered form; it is not necessarily illegal nor banned. As it says on the form, when in doubt, tick "YES-something to declare". I have brought in Chinese tea to Australia, declared it and it was no problem.

Whilst I understand the officers have a job to do, sometimes they tend to get a little over-excited like their little sniffer dogs.

Tea is a restricted/dutiable item in Australia?

OK, now the OP has opened the door to serious lifestyle issues in LOS. I would like to register my own complaint. About the ice cream cone in MacDonald's, most often they will only start the fill from the top rim of the cone, leaving the base hollow with no ice cream. Definitely a deceptive practice. What should be done? I think I will make a "scene" in front of the manager next time.

I notice this too.... To remedy I push the ice cream (with my tongue) down inside the cone as I'm eating it. That way when I get to the cone it actually has some ice cream inside it which allows for a more soggy cone....... Beats the hel_l out of arguing with a Thai over what, 9 or 10 baht????

7 bht now, on special. I don't know I want to stand up for what is right. One of my favorite movie quotes is: "doin' right ain't got no end". But seriously, I need to save my tongue energy for kissing Thai ladies, if only I could find a partner to match my skill.

OK, now the OP has opened the door to serious lifestyle issues in LOS. I would like to register my own complaint. About the ice cream cone in MacDonald's, most often they will only start the fill from the top rim of the cone, leaving the base hollow with no ice cream. Definitely a deceptive practice. What should be done? I think I will make a "scene" in front of the manager next time.

The correct title for this thread should be :

"Think Long Think Hard ! Be Warned !, before marrying an uneducated thai girl"

Having said that, I sympathise, mate. What does she say when you ask her why she is swearing at you ? Is she capable of being rational in regard to this ? You need to get her to be aware of her behaviour.........and whatever you do, don't react to it, otherwise you BECOME the bad man she is projecting.......

As another poster mentioned, it could be post-natal depression. But as it's now Winter in the UK, and she comes from Issan, my guess is that it is Seasonal Affective Disorder, or Winter Depression. I suffer from this myself, and when I get depressed during Winter, I also get irritable.

This is not just a vague guess............... I STRONGLY RECOMMEND YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. This condition ruined my life for many years before I realized I was suffering from it. And more people do than you would think. Quite a few of my relationships went down the drain because of it. It is a light-related disorder but being cold just makes the person more miserable.

Think about it ..........seriously. A girl from Issan (where it's always sunny and warm) goes to the UK, where it's usually overcast and cold, except for a short Summer. Then she gets very irritable during Winter.

I think it multiplies the difficulties of a marriage when one takes these women out of their country and away from their families. Strange food, strange weather, many corrupt "diversions" to lead them off the rails. Whatever old rules or standards, family oversight go out the window. I was married to a Malaysian for 7 years in USA and watched her change and become "Americanized". Soon, she was doing things and thinking things that would have never happened in Malaysia. She eventually ditched me for a guy 10 years younger than SHE was. Unfortunately, unless the guy is ready to retire and has adequate income to live overseas, he has no choice but to take the lady to his country and marriage is usually a requirement to do this.

To the OP. Mate good on you for coming on here and telling the truth. The thing is with all these guys taking the piss about the writing. The same thing will be happening in there relelationship'S with there Thai partners but they wont admit it.

8 OUT OF 10 Thai - Farang relelationships fail. But when they have kids i would say its more like 10 out 10 fail. ( how many thai - Farang familys with there own children who are 12 or over do you see on a day out ) i must have seen about 2 the whole time i have lived in thailand i have been here for 5 years ! )

I am to with Thai girl ( we have been together for 5 years now ) and we have a kid . Going ok so far but being honest i cant see us still together in 10 years. The culture thing is just to different. There will come a time were i will say i have had enough and hopefully if we to part ways can stay friends for are child's sake.

Most Thai - Farang relationships only works with weak and desrate farangs who will put up with anything just to stay with there thai partner. Most Farangs who can think and act for them selfs soon get fed up and just say enought is enough. I am yet to meet a Thai - Farang couple who have been together ( i mean lived together in Thailand , not with the guy just coming here for 2 months each year ) for more than 11 years is the longest i have seen, with my mate but they have just broke up. Apart from that its seems to be 7 or 8 years max.

I know several falang / thai couples with kids who are very happy and stable , the fact is that couples with kids are breaking up all over the world.I have a Thai wife for 5 years now , we are very happy together and I am certainly not weak or desparate and neither is she.

Falang / Thai relationships can work very well but most people jump into relationships in Thailand and that´s the main problem.

I knew my Thai wife for 4 years before we got together so i did it right (or I was lucky).Anyway I would say that 7-8 years is the average length of relationships around the world and those who have lasted longer , most of them SHOULD have split up.

Thai/Farang couples with a previous Thai husbands kids or ones the Farang produced with the lady? I would say it does make some difference. Many of these guys get "rail-roaded" into a quick marriage, because of the GF's prodding, usually because it means quick money for her & her family. If one could take the greed and the money factor out as a major, if not THE motivation for marriage here, things might be a bit less rocky.

Attached is a corrected version of his post with paragraphs. Quite a horror story. Of course all women in LOS certainly not like this. But, caution should be advised in any relationship, marriage or otherwise. Unfortunately, common sense goes out the window with many guys once they arrive here.

OP_Post_dmax_RTF.rtf

In USA, the amount you get depends on how much you paid into the system. The more you paid in and longer you worked, the more you will get back.

A rough chart can be found HERE.

From the chart above, a person who has been making about $65K/year will receive $1,236/mo, $1,609/mo, or $2,253/mo - depending on whether that person retires at 62 (early), 66 (typical) or 70 (late). The amount is prorated for retirement ages in between.

The information above about COLA is incorrect. Social Security benefits are based on a federally mandated formula which is very similar to Consumer Price Index (CPI). (I presume you guys know what CPI is.) If CPI doesn't go up, SS benefits don't go up. If inflation is high and CPI goes up, Social Security benefits go up as well.

Actually, it is a lot better to not get SS increase during deflationary period because SS benefits will not decrease but buying power will increase. In contrast, CPI related increase that doesn't do anything than keep up with inflation.

CPI indexing is relevant to this past year I guess, but Congress suspended any SS increase for 2 years. So, no next year no raise either. no matter what the CPI.

If you like it, do it. If you don't like it, don't do it. In general, I have found Thai women to be lousy kissers (western style). I have found one good one in 5 years. Some will not kiss at all, in the manner which I have been accustomed in my younger days.

it could be a matter of brushing your teeth more regularly

That is hardly the problem. I seldom smoke or drink. Generally, they (the women) are not big on oral stuff, unless we are talking bar girls. Love or lack thereof also has something to do with it. As I said, I had one good one and I would give her a 5 star rating. However, she went & got herself pregnant by her Thai BF, after which he ditched her. Sadly, my ardor fro her is not the same. My current said once she only kisses women. I never got an explanation as to what precisely that meant.

If you like it, do it. If you don't like it, don't do it. In general, I have found Thai women to be lousy kissers (western style). I have found one good one in 5 years. Some will not kiss at all, in the manner which I have been accustomed in my younger days.

I haven't been following the posts so excuse me if this has been covered.

It sounds as though you might be making more demands on the woman than she can give. You have given the security which she needs and she thinks that she has given what you needed; unpaid housekeeper, companion for life. Ask her if she really loves you, the answer should be something like; 'I am here arn't I'. Then ask yourself is this enough for you, if the answer is 'no' then what more do you want? if you want fawning over, to be loved, to be the center of her life, you will have to work at it. and then you might find that it isn't what you wanted is not likely to happen, lower your 'sights' on that front.

The answer, if you fit this situation, is to get out of her pocket. You need interests outside the home, make yourself admirable, independant of her, someone whom she is able to look up to, is willing to serve. You will probably find that what your life becomes is what you wanted in the first place.

Can you do that? and if not, why not?

What "demands" is he making on her????

He wants her to be as they were before and in the first years after marriage, when the relationship was better.

I don't think that is an unreasonable demand. If she had any interest in the relationship, I would think she would want the same. However, that sounds like it is not the case.

Seems to me your wife is set up financially, almost quarter of a mill in gold 50% of two houses, daughters grown up, why does she need you? sorry not meaning to be harsh but this is Thailand the UK home office statistics show that 80% of Thai UK marriages end in divorce.She could probably live for several years on her assets. The point is my friend you are not alone. Have been in a similar position myself and did what what many people on this forum are advising you to do I got the hel_l out. Now retired I moved to Thailand have a good pension and live with a lovely young lady half my age life is sweet, but I do not kid myself I doubt she will be around when I pop my clogs am I being realistic or just pessimistic hard to differentiate between the two but this is Thailand. Nobody should have to live in the sad situation you find yourself in, cut your losses man and run, lots of ladies out there and am sure you would have no problem finding one just do not fall head over heels in love and marry again. Life is harsh and that is a fact even harsher when tied up with a partner from a different culture coupled with the poverty. The point is you can find happiness albeit not on a permanent basis. Many readers may not agree and am sure lots will reply saying they have a wonderful marriage but that is now, question is will it last.

Good luck and bear in mind your pain will ease time will heal you.

Sad, but true. This website is littered with stories similar to yours and the OP. Yet, these guys "keep on commin" here with houses, cars, gold, hefty monthly allowances, etc. Much of it things they would never do with a women from their home country.

I once asked a Thai woman here, who is familiar with the relationship situations of many people, both Thai and Farang, how much would a lady expect for a monthly amount. Her answer: "as much as they can get". Unfortunately, this rings true with many of them, although not all. I have been asked for 15-20K quite often. They usually sneer at 10k, which is surprising because that is twice as much as many of them make on a job.

Assume the OP is living with his "farang" girlfriend and her two children here in Thailand, what should be the right amount to give her ?

Do you know any Farangs who lives with a Farang GF in Thailand? ... and with two children no less?? Never heard of it.

To the OP: Has she told you exactly what her complaints are? If your language skills are not good between you, if will be difficult to get to the bottom of things, without someone to do translation. Such a person is also not easy to find.

I haven't been following the posts so excuse me if this has been covered.

It sounds as though you might be making more demands on the woman than she can give. You have given the security which she needs and she thinks that she has given what you needed; unpaid housekeeper, companion for life. Ask her if she really loves you, the answer should be something like; 'I am here arn't I'. Then ask yourself is this enough for you, if the answer is 'no' then what more do you want? if you want fawning over, to be loved, to be the center of her life, you will have to work at it. and then you might find that it isn't what you wanted is not likely to happen, lower your 'sights' on that front.

The answer, if you fit this situation, is to get out of her pocket. You need interests outside the home, make yourself admirable, independant of her, someone whom she is able to look up to, is willing to serve. You will probably find that what your life becomes is what you wanted in the first place.

Can you do that? and if not, why not?

What "demands" is he making on her????