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McAttack
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Posts posted by McAttack
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The TOP 14 things we want to hear Samuel L. Jackson's character, 'Jedi
Master Mace Windu,' say in the Star Wars prequels:
14. You can stick your well-laid Death Star plans up your well-laid ass.
13. You must go to Dagobah, where you will be taught by Yoda, the sly,sweet
motherf*cker who taught me this sh*t.
12. Thats no moon, ###### - thats a f*cking space station!
11. I don't care how good you say they are. I ain't fightin' alongside no
<deleted>-ass teddy bears.
10. You don't need to see my goddamn identification, 'cause these ain't the
motherf*ckin' droids you're looking for.
9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause even if
it did I wouldn't eat the filthy motherf*cker.
8. This is your father's lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively, have
to
kill every motherf*ckin' stormtrooper in the room ..accept no substitutes.
7. If Obi-wan ain't home then I don't know what the <deleted> we're gonna do. I
ain't got no other connections on Tattooine.
6. Feel the Force, motherf*cker.
5. "What!?" ain't no planet I've ever heard of! Do they speak Bocce on What?
4. You sendin' the Fett? Sh*t, Hutt, that's all you had to say!
3. Yeah Chewie got a hair problem. What the brother gonna do? He's a wookie.
2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a bitch?
1. Hand me my lightsaber ... it's the one that says, 'Bad Ass Motherf*cker.'
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At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Kiwi bloke - 6ft 5 and 350lbs.
He's having a few beers when a short, well-dressed and obviously gay man
walks in and sits beside him.
After three or four beers the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to
say something to the big New Zealander.
Leaning over towards the Kiwi he whispers, "Do you want a blow-job?"
At this the massive Kiwi leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man
in the face, knocking him swiftly off the stool.
He proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar before leaving him
bruised and battered in the car park and returning to his seat.
Amazed, the barman quickly brings over another beer.
"I've never seen you react like that, " he says, "just what did he say to
you?"
I'm not sure", the big Kiwi replies, "something about a job"
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Mai - new
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My TW had to finish school when she was in grade 6.
She tells me that she was the second smartest kid in her class that year.
Lack of money in the family prevented her from progressing further at school because the family would have to pay for schooling from grade 7 onwards.
Since we have been together, she has gone to school again to learn English. For a 6 month period in Thailand and starting from late October last year at a school in Melbourne.
I'm very proud to say that she received her Certificate 2 in ESL and is on her way to getting certificate 3 and 4. Further study will be considered when she completes these certificates.
The reason behind this thread is to pose the question of how much intelligence is lost to the Thai nation by not funding schooling to a greater extent.
I'm trying not to be presumptuous in my comments because I don't assume to know the ins and outs of Thailand and the reasons certain decisions have been made by Thai Governments.
Maybe someone can enlighten me.
Its just that I see first hand how smart my wife is and am a little disapointed that she had to finish school so early. It seems such a waste
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Got it. A little anticlimactic though, no?
I guess there's a few more than 4000....
I know some people who didn't even get 12.
Maybe I should start hanging around with more intelligent people.
The URL clue p*ssed me off. The rest was fairly simple. Although I was lucky with a few of my mouse clicks when finding things.
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cool - Thanks Insight, well does that make us one of those 4000?
Sorry Wolfie.. you cheated.. you got help...you're with the rest of us swill
Well done Insight!!!
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There are 13 items hidden in this room in order to let you get out of this room.
If you found:
0-6 items, your IQ is very low, total idoit
6-8 items, Low IQ, u r an idoit
9-10 items, u r normal
11-12 items, your IQ is high, above the average.
13 items found and get out of the room, there are less than 4000
people in the world can do it.
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What did the carpenter say when he saw a naked girl laying on the floor in his house with ### oozing out of her mouth and asre?
Ahh, the floor is level!!!
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Hopefully in this day and age of mega sequels someone may turn out The Stand or Salem's Lot for the cinema.
The Stand has been out for a long time. I don't think it was at the cinemas but I watched it when videos were the rage before DVD's. It could have been made for TV.
Notable???? actors were Rob Lowe as the deaf guy, the stupid big breasted girl from Becker, and the main lady from Just Shoot Me (sorry bad with names, I'm a visual person).
It went for 6 hours and was on 2 videos.
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Going further along this morbid path...My wife read a Thai newspaper I think called "Thairat" on the net and she said there were a few people caught in Patani with acid in their water guns shooting it at people. Face and eye injuries were received by a few people that alerted the police to the idiots.
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Don't care about those other teams
.... The Tigers are in the eight with 2 consecutive wins in a row and I'm lapping it all up ... while it lasts -
When we be able to see Uranus?
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Exactamundo.
Fonziology?
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McAttack, do you have any pictures of these events?
Explorer
There are some pictures of last years festival on this site
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Sorry, I didn't take the camera.
Maybe someone else who went might be able to provide some and maybe give their impressions of the festival.
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I just got back from the Thai Culture & Food festival held in Melbourne, Australia. It started around 10am and I think finished around 9pm.
It is the second year this festival has been held. I didn't go last year but it was certaily crowded today in Federation square where it was held.
I didn't go in the morning but there supposedly was a Budhist ceremony for around 2 hours.
There was kick boxing, thai dancing, 20 food stalls, beer garden, and a stage for Thai music and a Katoey show at the end of the night that got the whole crowd into the fun of the day. A great day was had by all except for one drunk thai lady wholwas trying to swear at some guy but was just making everyone laugh with her failed attempt at English cussing. (its an art as you may well know)
This festival seems to be very popular and I would say it will go on for a few more years at the least. I didn't see any advertisments myself and only heard from word of mouth. A friend said there was some adds on pay tv that promoted the festival.
Are there many Thai festivals in other countries other than Thailand?
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The day you went away - Wendy Matthews
I've got a tear in my eye already
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Has Lars read this thread?...
I would imagine it's possible and that the ones that do return here as couples on visits to their upcountry homes are nice guys... and decent husbands. But what about the couples we don't see back in Thailand... that stay in Sweden. We may see the occasional couple back here in Thailand... but what percentage is that of the total number that get married? I'm sure it DOES happen and certainly it's not exclusive to Sweden.
My wife says a few of her friends that are "stuck" in Sweden and Germany are made to work very hard for the family they live with. The farangs treat them as house staff and not a member of the family. They speak bad about her friends as well. I would assume that is not the case all the time but just a couple of known cases regarding this subject.
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Good things come to those that wait.
I don't know exactly when and how wide ranging, but Honda is about to implement a Technical Assistance facility and CRM throughout the Sout East Asia area.
The introduction of these systems will help eliminate situations the OP just experienced. As well as eliminating situations where women smash their cars up with hammers.
Not to blow my own trumpet (I am actually) the CRM system is based on the CRM system I wrote and currently maintain in Australia. Hopefully, when implemented, customer satisfaction will improve, or at least there will be somewhere for the customer to contact if no satisfaction is gained from the dealership.
I'm interested to know if and what contact the dealership or manufacturer has with a customer after purchasing vehicles, new or second hand in Thailand.
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Farangs slug it out – one hospitalised the other locked up
The skirmish was quickly broken up and the man who was doing most of the fighting was arrested by the police
At 5am on March 13, Police Lieutenant Colonel Maanod Bampentaan, inquiry inspector at Soi 9 stationhouse, received word of fight between two farangs outside Mumalang Bar on Soi Yamato.
Officers were sent to check out the report and as they did so saw a farang beating up another. The skirmish was quickly broken up and the man who was doing most of the fighting was arrested by the police. The other man, who was in a bad way, was immediately taken to Pattaya Memorial Hospital.
The man in custody was taken downtown, but owning to his state of inebriation was unable to tell officers anything, including his name, so he was banged up in a holding cell to give him time to sober up.
-Pattaya People
Looks like he lost his bra in the fight
One of the funniest lines I have read on Thai Visa. I'm still laughing
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I'm not sure if everyone has one, but I have a friend that is accident prone. If someone is going to get hurt when we go out it will be my friend (nic "Dubs"). I'll relate a few that always make me laugh...hope they make you laugh as well.
1. We were all at the beach on a stinking hot day in Melbourne and everyone was in the water. There had to be hundreds of people in the water and as a result 10 times the amount of toes. Well Dubs just started yelling and grabbing for his foot. A crab had clamped on to his big toe and wouldn't let go. As he was trying to get it off his toe it clamped on to his finger. No one could help him because we were all bent over laughing. The crab finally let go and he didn't come back in the water for the rest of the day.
2. You may be aware that many fish and chip shops have those plastic streamers hanging in the doorway to deter flies coming into the shop. We were at a seaside town and decided to get some chips. This was a popular shop and thousands of people would have walked in and out of that doorway. Anyway, Dubs walked in and happened to step on one of the trailing plastic streamers. The bar it was attached to above the door was pulled down as a result and hit Dubs above the eye and he required stitches.
and to make this Thai related...
3. I was in Thailand with Dubs about a year and a half ago and who was the only one out of our group that got food poisoning and stayed in Hospital for 3 days....yep you guessed it in one
There are many more stories if you thought they were amusing
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If a katoey jumps on my back, do I leave him on or pull him off?
Good one Mac, I had to read that a couple of times before I understood it.
Gazza, you must be the tallest person in Thai TV because it must have gone over every one elses head.
Or its just not funny or witty enough for more replys
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If a katoey jumps on my back, do I leave him on or pull him off?
Prostitute Accident
in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
Posted
A prostitute was knocked over by a car, and got blood in her eyes. She thought she had gone blind and told the paramedic so.
He said: "OK how many fingers have I got up?"
She replied. "shit, I'm paralysed as well"!