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CHOPTHAI

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Posts posted by CHOPTHAI

    Apparent Love Lines

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    Love Lines?

    I thought that I could love no other.

    Until, that is, I met your brother.

    Roses are red, violets are blue,

    sugar is sweet and so are you.

    But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

    the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

    Of loving beauty you float with grace.

    If only you could hide your face.

    Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.

    This describes everything you are not.

    I want to feel your sweet embrace.

    But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

    I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.

    ######, I'm good at telling lies!

    My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

    Marrying you screwed up my life.

    I see your face when I am dreaming.

    That's why I always wake up screaming.

    My love, you take my breath away.

    What have you stepped in to smell this way?

    My feelings for you no words can tell.

    Except for maybe "go to ######".

    What inspired this amorous rhyme?

    Two parts vodka, one part lime.

    Contrasting Facts Of Life

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    HAPPINESS

    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

    LONGEVITY

    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

    A woman has the last word in any argument.

    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

    :o

    Kununurra Safety Shoes

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    When I was studying in Newcastle (OZIE) there was one Malaysian guy who had been performing badly in the term exams. He was checked and found to be of very low IQ to qualify for the engineering courses. Subsequently, he was referred to a well known therapist to assist in helping him to rectify his deficiency.

    At the clinic, he was pronounced to have a moderately low IQ of 30. he was not that shocked to hear that though! He calmly asked the therapist what could be the lowest IQ so far scored by them folks??? The therapist obliged and the answer was "...lowest was 10"

    "What could someone do or can not do if he happened to score less than 10?", that guy asked, upon which he received a quick and firm reply from the therapist: "Those 10 downer could not even tie their shoe laces!!"...

    "No wonder when I arrived in Australia, I noticed so many Aussies wearing thongs!!"

    I believe those KIWI's would very much concur with him. :o

    Are Aussies Really So Bad?

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    A Kiwi bloke's wife went missing while holidaying on the Australian coast.He spent a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.

    Next morning there was a knock at the door and he was confronted by a couple of pretty miserable policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

    The Sarge said: "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news and maybe some really good news."

    "Well," says the bloke, "You'd better let me have it both barrels, what's the bad news?"

    The Sarge said, "I'm really sorry pal, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."

    The bloke was naturally pretty distressed to hear this and had a bit of a turn. After a few minutes he pulled himself together and asked what the good news was.

    The sarge said, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of edible crabs in and around her swimsuit, so we've brought you your share." And he handed the bloke

    a bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.

    "Gee thanks," said the man. "They're bloody beaut... I guess it's an ill wind and all that. Now, what's the really good news?"

    "Well", the Sarge said, "Me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!...

    You fancy comin' along?

    Mba - Colleges Of Higher Learning - Bangkok

    in Teaching in Thailand Forum

    Posted

    Yes, I'm a teacher, if that's what you mean :-)  I sometimes teach business law here as well as the basic mainstay, English, not often enough unfortunately.

    Hi Paully,

    Thanks for the response. Well, the profession of an educationalist covers a wide spectrum of duties and responsibilities pertaining to education, therein the teaching profession is a sub-set that takes care of delivery and may cross over to course development. The term is widely used in Malaysia to refer all those that are involved in education, as "educationalist" [nuance may defer semantically and regionally]

    I am pursuing my doctorate and hoping to be a full fledged educationalist one day, in all aspects.

    My dean is leading a team to Bangkok with an intention to make inroads into Thailand's higher education market, thus I need recommendations from those who are familiar with Thailand's market infra-structure.

    Would you like to consider doing some selling of the MBA /DBA/ PHD programmes in Thailand? If yes, appreciate that you could just drop me an e-mail to [email protected] and I will follow up from there.

    Cheers, Chaiyo :o

    Mba - Colleges Of Higher Learning - Bangkok

    in Teaching in Thailand Forum

    Posted

    There's quite a lot of 'international' (ie: English-language) MBA courses being offered at universities/colleges in the Bangkok area already, I'm afraid, Chopthai!!!  Even out-of-Bangkok universities like Webster (main campus in Hua Hin) and Naresuan (main campus in Phitsanulok) now have small campuses in BKK offering evening/weekend MBA classes to tap into the large Bangkok workers' market.  Quite a few have got there already before you!

    You might try places such as: Srinakarinwirot University [try swu.ac.th], University of the Thai Chamber of Commerce [try utcc.ac.th] and Dhurakijipundit University [try dpu.ac.th] as I don't think they currently offer international MBA programmes - but I'm not 100% sure.  I don't have contact details of people there, I'm afraid.  You could also try a few former Rajabhats which have recently been granted university status, such as Suan Dusit and Phranakorn.

    Thanks Paully,

    Appreciate all those inputs. I will take note of them and include them in my planning.

    BTW Are you an educationist residing in Bangkok?

    Cheers :o

    Mba - Colleges Of Higher Learning - Bangkok

    in Teaching in Thailand Forum

    Posted

    Hi Folks,

    I am representing a few universities from the US and Europe, specializing in the delivery of MBA / DBA courses. We would like to tie up with some enthusiastic local colleges of higher learning to establish the running of MBA / DBA programmes in Thailand in general and in Bangkok in particular. Lessons to be taught in English.

    Do you have any contacts? Please e-mail me at [email protected]

    Or just post them in this thread. I will just pick up from there onwards. Appreciate your assistance. Cheers :o

    Words With Iso

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    Some how many have jumped onto the ISO certification bandwagon....however not many even realize how they suffer as a result.

    The Malays recognize that ISO stands for "Ini Susahkan Orang" [This scheme brings trouble to those involved]

    On a lighter note, ISO can be incorporated into many existing English words and may be become new words hence forth.

    ISO GLOSSARY

    1 ISORE Eye strains resulting from writing procedures and work instructions

    2 ISOAP Detergent used to clean up before the Certification Body comes for audit

    3 ISO-SO Not a full blown non-conformance yet

    4 ISOCIAL A party thrown to celebrate passing the ISO certification audit

    5 ISODA Beverage served at the ISOCIAL

    6 ISOB The shedding of tears resulting from receiving too many audit non-conformances

    7 ISOHAPPY The joy of conformity

    8 ISONO-NO An activity that leads to a non-conformance

    9 BISON Official ISO mascot

    10 ISORRY Response to a corrective action request or a non-conformance

    11 ISOMETRICS Being used to measure the quality objectives

    12 ISOLATION How the Management Representative feels when introducing the new ISO system

    Cheers :o

    Quality Words

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    The American Society of Quality [ASQ] has proposed some coined words to be included into the English dictionary:

    QUBIT = A measure of quality dimensions

    QUBICLE = A place where many quality practioners work

    QUDOS = High praise for quality work

    QURIOSITY = The desire to learn everything you can about quality

    QUISINE = Food made by quality conscious cooks

    QULTURED = Quality cultured person

    QUPID = The Roman god of quality

    QURE = A quality remedy

    QURU = An authority in Quality Management [someone like me :o ]

    When someone graduates with a degree in Total Quality Management, the following latin phrase is engarved in his diploma:

    SUMMA QUM LAUDE

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