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CHOPTHAI
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Posts posted by CHOPTHAI
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I must admit that I am categorized as such. BTW, my hair is thining which shows that my brain is growing...giving no standing room for my hair follicles to hold on, so they depart my scalp for good!!
Cheers Garfield and Jai Dee, you've made my day
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Wow, I am having spells of headache reading those words! Hopefully the successful mapping of the human body's DNA and genetic profiles will not give the English Language an opportunity to come up with a matching word that goes as long as the DNA chain!! Not only size does matter, now length does matter. In no time Bangkok's original Thai version will be surpassed by another English sounding city.
You might have
"citybuiltanddevelopedatthecongruentoftwomuddyriversthatstacksedimentsontheb
nks" to define KUALA LUMPUR, for a change.
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Chemical Terms
Two chemical terms (3,641 and 1,913 letters long) have appeared in the Guinness Book of World Records. They were withdrawn because they have never been used by chemists, and there is no theoretical limit to the length of possible legitimate chemical terms. A DNA molecule could have a name of over 1,000,000,000 letters if it was written out in full.
(1,185) ACETYLSERYLTYROSYLSERYLISOLEUCYLTHREONYLSERYLPROLYLSERYLGLUTAMINYLPHE
YLALANYLVALYLPHENYLALANYLLEUCYLSERYLSERYLVALYLTRYPTOPHYLALANYLASPARTY
PROLYLISOLEUCYLGLUTAMYLLEUCYLLEUCYLASPARAGINYLVALYLCYSTEINYLTHREONYLSE
YLSERYLLEUCYLGLYCYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMINYLPHENYLALANYLGLUTAMINYLTHREONYL
LUTAMINYLGLUTAMINYLALANYLARGINYLTHREONYLTHREONYLGLUTAMINYLVALYLGLUTAMINY
GLUTAMINYLPHENYLALANYLSERYLGLUTAMINYLVALYLTRYPTOPHYLLYSYLPROLYLPHENYL
LANYLPROLYLGLUTAMINYLSERYLTHREONYLVALYLARGINYLPHENYLALANYLPROLYLGLYCYL
ASPARTYLVALYLTYROSYLLYSYLVALYLTYROSYLARGINYLTYROSYLASPARAGINYLALANYLVA
YLLEUCYLASPARTYLPROLYLLEUCYLISOLEUCYLTHREONYLALANYLLEUCYLLEUCYLGLYCYL
HREONYLPHENYLALANYLASPARTYLTHREONYLARGINYLASPARAGINYLARGINYLISOLEUCYLIS
LEUCYLGLUTAMYLVALYLGLUTAMYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMINYLGLUTAMINYLSERYLPROLYLTH
EONYLTHREONYLALANYLGLUTAMYLTHREONYLLEUCYLASPARTYLALANYLTHREONYLARGINYL
RGINYLVALYLASPARTYLASPARTYLALANYLTHREONYLVALYLALANYLISOLEUCYLARGINYLSE
YLALANYLASPARAGINYLISOLEUCYLASPARAGINYLLEUCYLVALYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMYLLE
CYLVALYLARGINYLGLYCYLTHREONYLGLYCYLLEUCYLTYROSYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMINYLA
PARAGINYLTHREONYLPHENYLALANYLGLUTAMYLSERYLMETHIONYLSERYLGLYCYLLEUCYLVA
YLTRYPTOPHYLTHREONYLSERYLALANYLPROLYLALANYLSERINE = Tobacco
I need a 10G memory to remember that! That reminds me of "chain smoking" though
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She needs 5S
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Nice one Pandit- I laughed hysterically also!
Agree that the monk was cool- but my favorite was the woment in the red skirts! Especially the one holding on to her hat!
There is a mistake in claiming the person was Chinese. From the background and the features of that man and the signages written in Japanese, the man was Japanese and the scene was shot in Japan. BTW the "monk" was actually an old lady wearing a KIMONO [Japanese tarditional dress] who was most probably "deaf"!
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just to add:
OSHAS 18001 = standards developed by those, implemented by those and audited by those who never work in a safety environment
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Good answer, mate.
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I pity those who are late in taking up the MBA...makeshift arrays of jargons that describe common business principles are mushrooming causing an unprecedented comprehension-induced cerebal palsy to one that has more nonsensical buzzwords to master.
They just fertilizes the jargon shoots of the buzzword farms that produce non-value added fruits of enterprise!
Slap me....I just dont even know what I was talking about just before this
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A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to clean up the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot; the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions, and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
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Fantastic Liverpool! You'll never walk alone!
Cheers from a Liverpool fan for over 40 years.
POM RAK LIVERPOOL FC
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If you liked that one, you should check out the albinoblacksheep web site. It's got a ton of fun stuff like that plus a bunch of downloads. It's a safe site (no viruses) and has lot's of upgrades for your system. I downloaded the Microsoft Antispyware from their site last night and it found some stuff AdAware, Spybot, and SpySweeper couldn't. Took awhile but my computer is now running faster.
Cheers
I wasted my time ordering food! The crash button really worked..it crashed...whistling:
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Rodney Dangerfield's 22 Best One-Liners
1. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy... I'd have had nothing to play with.
2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home. I went over. Nobody was home.
3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel .
4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said "Because you came home early."
5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
6. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.
8. I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
9. I'm so ugly...My father carried around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."
11. I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness...AFTER I was born.
12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."
14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.
16. I w ent to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times - three of those times I was reading it.
20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy for birth control.
21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.
And my Favorite: I'm so ugly, when I was born the doctor slapped my mother!
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ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming!" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,
"Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"... I just lost it."
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hi chopthai, very funny stuff
Kop kun mak khrap
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There are a lot of chinese restaurants called Nam Kee,
not in thailand though
My friend once wanted to start up a Traditional Thai massage parlour somewhere in KL. When asked what "Thai-sh" name would he be giving to that place, he joyfully replied" KAMSAKMAITID"
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HONEY in one language but POISON in another langauge
The American Dairy Association was so successful with its "Got Milk?" campaign, that it was decided to extend the ads to Mexico. Unfortunately, the Spanish translation was "Are you lactating?"
Electrolux, a Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer, used this ad in the U.S.: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
Colgate introduced a toothpaste called "Cue" in France, but it turned out to be the same name as a well-known porno magazine.
When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in leather," it came out in Spanish as "Fly naked."
Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."
Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."
Bacardi concocted a fruity drink with the name "Pavian" to suggest French chic, but "pavian" means "baboon" in German.
A hair products company, Clairol, introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that mist is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the manure stick.
When Kentucky Fried Chicken entered the Chinese market, to their horror they discovered that their slogan "finger lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off"
When Vicks first introduce its cough drops on the German market, they were chagrined to learn that the German pronunciation of "v" is f - which in German is the guttural equivalent of "sexual penetration."
Parker Pens translated the slogan for its ink, "Avoid Embarrassment - Use Quink" into Spanish as "Evite Embarazos - Use Quink"...which also means, "Avoid Pregnancy - Use Quink."
When Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back, they translated their slogan, "Pepsi Brings You Back to Life" pretty literally. The slogan in Chinese really meant, "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Grave."
In Italy, a campaign for "Schweppes Tonic Water" translated the name into the much less thirst quenching "Schweppes Toilet Water."
Chinese translation proved difficult for Coke, which took two tries to get it right. They first tried Ke-kou-ke-la because when pronounced it sounded roughly like Coca-Cola. It wasn't until after thousands of signs had been printed that they discovered that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax," depending on the dialect. Second time around things worked out much better. After researching 40,000 Chinese characters, Coke came up with "ko-kou-ko-le" which translates roughly to the much more appropriate "happiness in the mouth."
Not to be outdone, Puffs tissues tried later to introduce its product, only to learn that "Puff" in German is a colloquial term for a whorehouse. The English weren't too fond of the name either, as it's a highly derogatory term for a non-heterosexual.
The Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries. "No va" means "it doesn't go" in Spanish.
Ford introduced the Pinto in Brazil. After watching sales go nowhere, the company learned that "Pinto" is Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals." Ford pried the nameplates off all of the cars and substituted them with "Corcel" which means horse.
When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as here in the USA - with the cute baby on the label. Later they found out that in Africa companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside since most people can't read.
In the French part of Canada, Hunt-Wesson introduced its "Big John" products as "Gros Jos." It later found out that the phrase is slang for "big breasts."
Wonder why Kanebo is shunned by the Singaporeans, majority of whom speaks the Fujian dialect?? KANEBO sounded in the Fujian dialect carries such a meaning: "Screw your wife".
Citereon cars are a "no-no" amongst the Cantonese in Malaysia as the brand sounds like "SID-DOE-LOONG" [Lose until burnt out]. Our first national car, the Proton Saga is known as the BEN DAN SHA GUA [stupid fella]
At one time in Japan, SEIKO watches were not popular, especially amongst the women. Eventough SEIKO means "Success" in Japanese, but another word SEIKO having a similar pronunciation, means "Sexual Intercourse".
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Jai Dee: It took me at least 5 minutes to find the generator you have for sale
Wow, such good "product positioning"!
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bah.....e-mail chain letters again
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Did somebody kiss that frog?.....it might be a prince
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Totser
Absolutely hilarious
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I like the idea of fake Doctors doctoring their educational qualifications........
Self medication is never recommended.
Fancy a person with a PHD from USA that could not speak a word of English....
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no offence meant...but, funny thing is...
I'm German, the jet engine was indeed invented in Germany during WWII and we call the plane fuel... kerosene
This forum is getting more interesting by the minutes!
Checked up an interesting website:
www.atsdr.cdc.gov/toxprofiles/tp121-c3.pdf
It has provided chemical composition facts regarding the aviation fuel [JP-5 & JP-8]. It had clearly stated that aviation fuels contained 52% paraffins with the rest were additives. Aviation jet fuel is known chemically as "kerosene" and not as "paraffins". In Malaysia, the country that had been a British colony for over a hundred years, the word "paraffin" is normally being associated with "oil lamps" and the word "kerosene" is being associated as "cooking fuel" [semantically different from other countries]. When I was with the engineering department of a local airline, we always referred the "liquid fuel" used for the aircraft as "jet fuel" and not by any other name. We will definitely say: "refuelling" and not "rekerosening" or "reparaffining".....
BTW, according to my research, the first turbine engine [forerunner of the present turbofan] was invented by the Germans! It was first flown in 1939! Anyhow, Sir Frank Whittle perfected it and was now being accredited with that honour for being the father of jet engines. In Malaysia, about 30 years ago, we studied history based on textbooks written by British historians, thus, if you ask any Malaysian you might get the answer as: "It was the British who first invented the jet engine".
If one care to perform a research, a different dimension and perspective may unfold in one's mind if the mind is open enough!
It is very difficult to navigate through this great semantic divide, as we are constantly being bombarded with "prescribed knowledge" by those who wanted us to trod along a certain path.
Ask the Japanese why they attacked China in 1937 and they will argue until the cows come home that it was China who provoked them to do so as in accordance to the history books written by their historians.
Cheers, just a few cents worth of thoughts. No malice intended.
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I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!"
And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?"
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"
Then I hear the guy say nervously... "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!"
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Typical case of a "trilemma" .....nothing....no...maybe..[if there is such a word]
The Last Photograph
in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
Posted
Say cheese
