baabaabobo

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Japanese man, clutching a clip board and yelling,

"You Sign! You sign!"

Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Japanese man starts to yell louder,

"You Sign! You sign!"

Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again.

When he opens it, the little Japanese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling,

"You sign! You sign!"

Mr Mandela is getting a bit pi**ed off by now, so he pushes the little Japanese man back, shouting: "Look, go away! Leave me alone! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!"

Then he slams the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Japanese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting,

"You sign! You sign!"

Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him: "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand?

You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"

The little Japanese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:

(It's a beauty)...

(wait for it)...

(Get your best Japanese accent ready)......

"You not Nissan Main Deala?"

The tailor would have have not known whether the guy has balls or not - his expert eye would have just correctly guessed his underwear size.

Anyway the joke works with or without balls but is more tragic with balls removed than with balls removed removed if you get my drift.

Get a MacBook http://www.apple.com/macbook/macbook.html.

Just bought one..... Awesome!

The way I heard it he had already had his testicles removed and THEN went to get a suit to cheer himself up - funnier IMHO

IMHO - Go with fish - guppies. They breed very quickly and in no time they will populate the area and eat all the larvae.

where buffaloes roam

I have one in my garden which when approached springs up into the trees hence the term "flying snake" of which group they belong to. I managed to get a pic recently. I don't think they make good pets and you were right to release it.

And it continues.....

Again from the Phuket Gazette.

Bloody day on Phuket’s roads

Phuket: Four people, including three 11-year-old boys, were killed in two separate road accidents on Monday.

The first accident occurred about 7:30 pm, when three boys on a motorcycle and a sedan collided head-on in front of Andavana Spa, on Thepprathan Rd, Koh Sireh.

The driver, Channarong Sadimin, and one of his passengers, Suriyapong Premjaroen, died at the scene.

The third boy, Piyapong Sukwilai, was rushed to Vachira Phuket Hospital, where he died the following morning. The boys were pupils at Wat Buddhamongkolnimitr School.

Pol Lt Theeradet Jiraksa, Duty Officer at Phuket Police Station, said that the driver of the sedan gave a statement reporting that the three boys, none of whom were wearing helmets, were weaving between cars at high speed before suddenly cutting into his lane, leaving him no time to react.

No charges will be pressed against the driver of the car, who has offered to help the parents with the costs of the boys’ funerals.

The boys were not the first pre-teens to perish in a motorbike accident in November. Less than a week earlier, 12-year-old Adisak Det-aran was killed in an accident on Thepkrasattri Rd in Koh Kaew.

In another fatal accident, also on Monday, a taxi driver crashed his car into an electricity pylon near Super Cheap, on Thepkrasattri Rd, around 8 pm.

“We think the taxi driver dozed off as he was driving and then crashed into the pylon. His neck was broken by the impact and he died at the scene. We found no alcohol in his blood, so we presume that the accident was caused by the driver being tired rather than drunk.

“We estimate that he was driving about 120 kilometers an hour at the time of the accident,” Lt Theeradet explained.

Police named the taxi driver as 39-year-old Chartchai Chuachit, who worked from the taxi stand near Bangkok Hospital Phuket.

The new Bob Dylan album "Modern Times" - great bluesey riffs on guitar and the old zimmerframe still sounds good

"Noting that Meena’s monthly salary was only 5,000 baht, the court also found unconvincing her claim that she was able to amass 17 million baht in personal savings"

Classic!

Provincial Drug Suppression Police seized 6,800 ya bah (methamphetamine) pills and arrested two men in a sting operation in November 23.

Phuket Provincial Police Commander Pol Maj Gen Decha Budnampeth said an investigation had revealed that Chatree “ Mee” Waiyawut, 26, was dealing ya bah in Phuket.

“Undercover officers contacted Chatree, ordering 300 ya bah pills for 45,000 baht. Delivery was arranged and at ‘drop’ Songcherd “Cherd” Krodsimai, 28, arrived with the drugs.

“After his arrest, Cherd told officers that he was to be paid 3,000 baht for making the delivery,” Gen Decha said.

Cherd told police that he was a delivering the drugs for Chatree and led the officers to Chatree’s house in Tambon Thepkrasattri.

Police searched the house, finding seven sealed bags containing a total of 6,500 ya bah pills. Two mobile phones were also seized as evidence, Gen Decha said.

Chatree was arrested and confessed that the drugs were his, saying he had bought 10,000 ya bah pills from a Thai man in Samut Prakarn, Gen Decha said.

The total haul had a street value of about 2 million baht, he added.

On April 28, 2005, Chatree was convicted of drug possession and sentenced to 12 years in prison. At the time of his arrest he was out on bail awaiting an Appeals Court decision.

Chatree told police that intended to use the money gained from his latest drug transaction to fight his previous conviction, Gen Decha explained.

Both suspects have been charged with drug possession with intent to supply.

Brought to you by:

The Phuket Gazette

16:31 local time (GMT +7)

and here http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=93377

I had the same problem here in Phuket - 19 days with the ADSL link down. Called everyday, was told it was down nationwide and finally someone gave me the number of a technician. He turned up switched the modem and I was back online in 5 minutes. Keep the pressure on and don't believe their lame excuses.

The "bum gun" (attached next to the toilet) which is heaven after a heavy night of beer and curry. Sorry but the little black duck started it

An old Cherokee was teaching his grandson about life.

'A fight is going on inside me', he said to the boy. 'It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith'.

'The same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, ' Which wolf will win?'.

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed

I like that

Is there anything on the market to place over the keyboard on a laptop to change keys from english ti thai script?

Yup I bought some stickers once at a computer shop.

After 19 days without ADSL the guy finally showed up - changed the modem and in 5 minutes It's back. 19 days wait for 5 minute repair. At least it is working now. Thanks for confirming that NO it is not broken all over Thailand.

For over a week now my ADSL is not linking and despite daily calls to TOT and even a visit to their office they claim that it is down all over Thailand. Is this for real? Does anyone else in Phuket have this problem. writing this on a 56k which works...but is soooooo sloooooow

"For example, someone forwarding a pornographic email could be sentenced to up to three years in jail and fined up to 10,000 baht if found guilty under the new law."

Surely this is the thin end of the wedge. Forwarding any email is a private affair and not subject to any laws. Taken to it's extreme sending a picture of a sexy girl to a friend abroad could land you with a prison sentence? Is this for real?

Yes it is for real, and people like you who are only concerned with being able to have a quick schoolboy perv, should't be shouting down a law designed to tackle some very serious issues.

They aren't going to be going after you lot snickering away at pictures of girls in magazines etc. They will be going after people who view and propogate the sites, espescially at the more extreme end. Do you and other paranoid "big brother" theorists, really believe that the powers that be would be interested in checking out your e-mail viewing if in only contained mild stuff like you suggest?

It may shock you to know that people have actually been filmed being killed on the internet, and if you had kids, you would not want them to come accross sites depicting this or depicting people being killed in the most grusome of accidents.

Perv in peace if you want, but don't encourage lax laws that let people literally get away with murder!

Where do you get off calling me a perv on a public forum?

I said that if forwarding a private e-mail (that contains an attachment that may be considered pornographic) could land someone in jail for three years then this is the thin end of the wedge.

I have lived under repressive regimes before and I kid you not this kind of bill passed by a non-elected junta should cause concern. I'm all for clamping down on real filth but when you start censoring people's e-mails then yes the big brother scenario is not far away. I think this new government has other more important issues to deal with than this.

And as for your "people like you" remarks....... get a life!

Same same - haven't been able to get a link for over a week now in Phuket. TOT tell me the problem is nationwide... no mention of a refund

"For example, someone forwarding a pornographic email could be sentenced to up to three years in jail and fined up to 10,000 baht if found guilty under the new law."

Surely this is the thin end of the wedge. Forwarding any email is a private affair and not subject to any laws. Taken to it's extreme sending a picture of a sexy girl to a friend abroad could land you with a prison sentence? Is this for real?

My Horn is Broken. Watch My Finger

Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.

School Secretary: Who is this?

Pupil: This is my father speaking!

Hope he doesn't do a Robbie Williams and cancel the entire Asian leg at the last minute.

Robbie said he was "exhausted".... Might it also be that apart from a couple venues, tickets were not selling and they found it would be less costly and less embarrassing to just pull out and lose the deposits, rather than play to nearly empty arenas?

and I'm STILL waiting for Thai Ticketmaster to refund my money.

I heard that Robbie was doing a detox (not his first) and that financially it was more worth while getting him fit for Australia - hence cancelling the asian leg.

EC in concert is worth it - HE IS GOD!

Found the difference but you have to look very carefully and yes the sound helps

Turn on the sound for the right effect

Not many people can spot the differences can you?

http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf