sdshaman

You said her parents own a prominent business. Then mentioned that it was a shop and that the girl is the #1 employee and works 12 hours a day and are there even any other employees? Then you say her uncle is a tuk tuk driver.

Now I am really starting to understand on Thai Visa why I keep reading over and over again "my wife is upper middle class. Her parents have a prominent business" what that means and what qualifies... I realize now that the farang writing these posts are delusional and create alternate realities to suit their egos.

Her mom owns a beauty saloon. They cut hair. I am in there every day and they are busy. Maybe 15 customers a day. Some are just shampoo for 200 Baht but quite a few are hairstyles and colors that go from 1500 Baht and up. So it is not like they are selling used equipment trying to get rich. What would you consider this business?

They have no other employees

If you spent some of your internet time researching Thailand Culture BEFORE you decided to go on a social network site to meet your Bride, you may have found yourself in a different position ..... Look before you leap !! .... ... CHOKDEE ... Now over to the synpathisers .....

I did research but never imagined it would be taken to this proportion! lol

I feel like I'm being gold dug but when we talk I feel she is sincere?

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Please only reply if you know facts about Thai. I already feel like a fool so you don't need to remind me

I am westerner that finds a caring sweet Thai lady on internet. We talk several times a day and Skype at least once a day every day for several months. We always are saying the right things to each other so I decide to come to Thailand to meet her. She is everything I imagined. She says she never have boyfriend before and I believe her because she is so innocent. Her family owns a prominent business in Chiang Mai. I spend much time with them so I get to know as much as I can about whole family. They really seam like honest sincere family. Dad works but is disabled from birth defect. Mom runs business and this girl is her main worker. They also have a small daughter that is maybe 6-7. The girl I am interested in (who I will call A) works with her mom for no pay, only to help pay house and car payment. They work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week. I hang out with them at their shop every day all day long. We talk and get to know each other and have many good times and laugh together. I think how can these people be anything but sincere. A and I go to town every day and spend an hour or more together getting to know each other. She is as every sweet as she was on Skype and shows me so much care I think I am very lucky. One day there was much traffic and we were on our way back in her uncles tuk tuk. She asks if I want to take boat ride up Ping River since she never has and always wanted to and there is so much traffic. I lets do it. 2 hours later we arrive back at moms shop. Mom is upset and leaves. A starts crying. I ask her whats wrong. She asks what do you think of me? She says that there is gossip and people think we already sleep together so we cannot go out together anymore. So we only hang out at shop and with her parents after they finish work. A few days later she says that if we engage that we can go everywhere together. I think I love this girl and she loves me so I say we should. She starts to talk to me about dowry but won't tell me an amount and cries and gets nervous when we talk about it. 2 days later while we were sitting in my hotel room she coughs out 5 million Baht. I laugh and say you cannot be serious. So the next day her father wants to talk to me and he says that we can work something out.

I went into this knowing about dowry and to have a thai gf you might end up taking care of family. A and I talk about how she wants dowry so her family is taken care of. I tell her that when we marry I will pay for house and car. She says that is 30,000 Baht. Later when I talk to her dad he says it is 20,000 Baht but she corrects him. Upon our engagement the house is 15,000 alone. (I only say these number because they might be sigificant to scam numbers)

So now I sit down for the 3rd time to negotiate dowry and such. They say I pay dowry of 100,000 for engagement and bigger dowry when we marry. I think that $3k US money is nothing to be with someone that cares about me so much. Anyway this is tradition right? The date we get engaged now becomes a factor and we were kind of rushed into it for various reasons that make sense from their description. I only have 6 weeks here so I want to move fast because I am falling in love with this girl. I can only get 80,000 Baht out in time for the engagement because of ATM restrictions. They accept that and say that the other 20k will go to A for more gold. So the day of engagement I go to buy her a ring and up her necklace. She says I need ring also for engagement.

So now I am at this ceremony at her parents shop with a couple of their friends. We present the 80K and the gold on a special tray and then are engaged. We go to her grandparents in Lampoon for new years. I am introduced to their family. Grand parents, great grandparents, friends, uncles you name it. They all tie white string on our wrists and everyone is joyous and happy, crying telling me to take good care of A.

We come back to CM and now never go anywhere together alone. She says "let go to the zoo" so I jump on the opp to be alone with her but then sister comes and mom really isn't busy today so now I am not alone with her and have a 2000 Baht zoo ticket payment to make. days pass and still we never have time togeter alone. Oh, yeah we did walk halfway to the shop from the Zoo, but I really do not consider that quality time together.

Yesterday she wants to go buy her gold from the remaining 20,000 Baht. I tell her no that we must talk first. Well, she is too busy and doesn't have time to talk (but had time to go buy gold???)

When I talk with her alone I feel she really cares about me but when she gets near her parents things change and I feel she is pressured into not being herself???

Yes now I feel like a fool but my question here is about tradition. The engagement we had, does that follow any tradition? What I read says not really. Me having an engagement ring... is that tradition? The dowry I paid, is dowry for engagement or wedding? Did we just have a wedding ceremony or was it just an engagement? PLease include any reference material if possible. Thank you