TheRascal

Im starting to thing I want out big time now and im starting to lean on the side of scam again, im still confused ask #$%* but today she asked me to give him 500,000 baht or he wont divorce.    I think tonight im going to tell her that I love her but this is to much for me and if it was a scam bad luck if its not a scam you should crawl back to your husband and beg for forgiveness.  Or that she'll have to do the divorce on her own and we can make contact when it all over if were still interested.          Also... that you shouldn't put your self out there on a dating website if your still attached to your ex in anyway.

 

 Im starting to feel a right fool   At least I will get out relatively unscathed although I will now join the ranks of the cynical...you got room for one more?  

 

Don't join the ranks of the cynic, see it as a fairly cheap lesson that you need to keep your wits about you and that there's absolutely no need to accept someone with such baggage. There are great women out there and the younger generation away from the bars generally aren't scammers.

 

1. Stay away from anyone you suspect may be a bargirl or former bargirl

 

2. If a girl does speak good english question why, it's not always a warning sign but in a girl who left school at 12 it can be - not necessarily as I had an ex who spoke great English as she'd just worked in a restaurant for a western boss, before that had worked as a nanny for a western family, had dated an english teacher for a while and loved learning (she enjoyed reading the dictionary - weird) and she left school young. 

 

3. You can get an idea of a girls attitude to money early on, these girls may be "smart" when it comes to the scams they weave but generally they let little tell tale signs show by what they ask for on dates, what they ask you to pay for etc. 

 

I personally don't subscribe to getting a girl to pay 50/50 for dates; I wouldn't do it in the west so why would I do it in a country where I earn 5-10 times more than the girl I'm dating. With my main girl I pay for meals, cinema, food at home and give nice gifts for birthday/christmas/valentines (talking around 2500-5000 nothing excessive) but she never asks for me to pay for any of her personal items (clothes, makeup etc) and if we go away for a weekend she insists on paying for her share. 

 

I had a conversation with 2 of the girls I dated about sin sod - I raised it like this (incidentally it's true) "my friend is talking with his gf about marrying, his family are demanding sin sod of 750,000, what do you think about this". One (thai chinese) said "this is our culture, if he loves her he needs to accept it and pay", the other (from the North) said "I don't believe in it, it's outdated and my family wouldn't want it"

 

The fact is that for every scammer girl there's probably 5 guys dicking Thai girls around, making promises they can't deliver, cheating on them and generally not treating them well. Actually there are a LOT of thai girls desperate for a good guy. 

 

I have a friend, 23 years old, Bangkok girl, just finished university, working her first job (15k per month) and paying for herself to study English who just wants to find a nice boyfriend - she doesn't want money; her last (French) boyfriend made her split everything 50/50 (even Lotus food court) and she adored him. The fact is that these girls don't see an age difference as much as a western girl would and it's often nothing to do with money, my girl (actually only a 7 year difference with me) said "young guys are often selfish, they just think about today and making themselves happy. They have no plans for their future"

 

I think deep down you knew that this wasn't right - the warning signs were there but you let your heart rule and ignored warning signs and advice. My friend here says I'm ruthless, I cut girls loose for small reasons:

 - she mentions large amounts of money she has to send back to her family every month: cut her loose

 - she mentions her friend's boyfriend went away for the weekend and says "I would never let my boyfriend go away without me": cut her loose

 

There's many many more, too many to type but it's not hard although admittedly it's a lot easier when you're "on the ground" here. 

I agree there's a lot of others out there, had a wander around ekamai tonight and damn... Hot girls everywhere and most probably kid free.

Anyway that's irrelevant if you've made your decision, great if you support her to get up and running but she should be keen to get her own job. There's no need for you to be sending her 20k every month, her living costs will be nowhere close. I know many Thai girls who don't earn that and still manage to support themselves. Speaking English she will easily be able to find a job working in a restaurant with a guaranteed wage including service charge of around 12k per month plus if it's a reasonable restaurant she will get a few more thousand in tips. Enough to live on by far without you sending her money.

Your money would be better saved for visiting her and supporting any future visa application.

What about Facebook? I would bet my left nut she uses it, I've never met a Thai girl that doesn't.

For more than 5 years I lived among local Thais, since my divorce and learned many things. Also I can speak basic Thai. I'm still single for 5 years as I lost faith in Thai women.

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You need to get back on the horse Danny old chap, there's plenty of good ones out there. Maybe take the step of moving from basic Thai to advanced. Sure there are dodgy women out there but the good much outweighs the bad. 

 

 

you got a good one

We won't be saying that next week when I find out she's got 2 kids and is already married. I'm already thinking how I can get the $30k together 

I tell again OP is writing fiction, the story not exist in reality, but you people not understand this.

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Our comments were jokes - they didn't really relate to whether he's telling the truth or not. 

 

I understand what you said but I don't agree - I don't think he's writing fiction, the skype conversation would be too much effort on his part, especially as the original had quite a lot of thai in it but was deleted. I wish for his sake it was fiction, poor chap. 

What would a Thai Girl do if you farted in front of her?

My girl finds it funny. Especially if I say "where's the duck" in Thai.

Hi. It is not negative for having kids if woman is honest. But I feel this story is taking different rout. I wonder if he is writing some novel.

It's called Private W*nker

And these women should pass basic English test as lots of immigrants cause problems in western countries

Bit of casual racism on a Friday afternoon. Thought I was on the daily mail website for a second.

A lot of us immigrants cause problems in these eastern countries

 I sent her money to move into an apartment 20k baht, not 30k US dollars for divorce.   Ill be asking to see photo of lease agreement.         If I never see her or the 20k baht again not the end of the world and one could say its a payment for services rendered

 

Lease would likely be in Thai, mine is with just an english translation for me as a westerner. If she is moving in to an apartment 20k is reasonable for the first month - likely 2 months deposit and one month upfront (say 15k total and 5 left over for buying stuff for the room), but surely if she moves out she can't work anymore?!

 Not suddenly always did, 2 kids.  

 

Think for a second this isn't a scam. You're seriously considering taking on a woman with 2 kids by this guy... you'll never be rid of him, he will ALWAYS be part of her life. My guess is that even if it's not a scam you will spend a load and push come to shove she won't leave him due to family pressure. Family here is more important than anything to most of these girls. 

Okay I had posted the whole Skype chat but it got deleted because part in thai language (google translate is useful)   I may repost a more condensed version with the thai translated but I couldn't stuffed atm.  I understand the rule and abide.
/cheers
 
 I wasnt trying to prove anything rather people read and make there own assumptions, because she dosent come across as a scammer if you read the whole thing.....anyway

 

Dude, I'm not a cynic, never been screwed over and I don't want to be harsh but it proved nothing. You could post 50,000 pages of conversations and it doesn't prove anything. You've already shared the other details that have made everyone tell you that they think it's a scam.

 

I strongly suggest you get someone to investigate here or one of the members (me and at least one of the others) who are willing to test her for you. The fact is that even if you don't send a big chunk of money you've already told her how much you earn per year and agreed to not only give her 20k sent already but also you agreed that you'll send her more money each month to support her.

 

Assuming it is a scam she's already got a nice deal out of it even if she doesn't get a chunk at once.

 

 

 

 

Thank you. We agree but from my example, one cannot trust. The secret has to be to see, understand, realise, and aknowledge then react when things go tits up. This OP is unable to do any of the "protect his back " and continues to look like a total idiot.

 
It's the same everywhere with everyone I guess, people have to take time to earn your trust and unfortunately there will be occasions where someone you think you trust surprises you.

Before it was deleted I read the skype conversation. I don't see what it proves - nor what you were trying to prove. 

 

 

READ THE BOOK "PRIVATE DANCER' and that will tell you about the Thai lady's .
 

 
Typical barfly answer about thai girls. It tells you to avoid relationships with prostitutes and not act like a sap with them - nothing about how to act with normal women. 

And Rascal would you like to give us all on this thread your perceptive of "normal women" here in Thailand. Remember if you go cleaning sewers you will be confronted by rats. Many many years ago, I met a Thai girl who was uni educated, her father was a bank manager, so believed hi so family, she used to stay with me weekends, sex was great, so was the record of my un replaceable DVDs and valuables disappearing. Do not judge a book by its cover.

 

 

No you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but telling people that reading Private Dancer gives an insight into anything other than a tiny subset of Thai women is pointless. Would it have stopped you getting involved with someone who stole from you - no, of course it wouldn't as it's a completely different situation. 

 

It's simple logic that getting involved with a bargirl - a girl who's likely emotionally damaged and potentially has drug/alcohol issues and is most certainly in an environment where they are taught, encouraged and given "face" for cheating men - is not a smart idea. 

 

As you asked my perception and experience of normal women is that the vast majority won't steal or cheat or think about scamming for money, most girls I've met are proud to earn their own money and the idea of going with men for money or having a vastly older boyfriend is repulsive to them. I'm not claiming they are "hiso" , just normal people; teachers, sales staff, office workers, etc. 

READ THE BOOK "PRIVATE DANCER' and that will tell you about the Thai lady's .

 

 

Typical barfly answer about thai girls. It tells you to avoid relationships with prostitutes and not act like a sap with them - nothing about how to act with normal women. 

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 I think there is way to many farang that have massive chips on there shoulders and have been burnt.     Mine is different I tell yas give me time to share more info.   Either way I cant pay 30k yes she has baggage mak mar, but I can deal with that.    Yes even if she is true and I did marry her she would probably just leave me in 2 years anyway..............................hang on wait a minute.

 

Im still on Skype with her at her "husband" business

 

 

 

I think this is a troll now - SHE'S DIFFERENT!

 

 

$18,000 to marry a poor thai girl from Issan who's family you'll end up taking care of later? what the fuks her family smoking?  I wouldn't even pay that here in the States for anyone..
 
"uneducated girl" means nothing.. they're still poor as fuk..  an uneducated girl is making maybe $350 / month.... if that..

We silly farangs responsible to spoil habits of these greedy Thai ladies without proper knowledge about their customs. I know one American guy paid 1 mn baht sin sod to a woman in her 40s with 2 grown up children. Thai men doesn't even pay one baht sin sod if woman is over 30 or already with kids. As per custom sin sod is determined by social status, virginity, job education or on basic of beauty.

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I know 2 thai women over 30, divorced that got married to a thai and got a big sin sod. They were educated and from good families. The likelyhood is they got it back after the wedding however. 

The problem I've found with "up to you" is that it doesn't always end well.

- Want to eat mexican food?

- Up to you

Then sit in silence cos she's pissed off as she didn't want to go there but didn't express what she wanted. Crazy girls.

 I share some Skype chat latter she say to me not to pay and don't worry money.  Is only him that think I should be richer than him if he is to divorce.    I still in Skype and wont be able to post all as is to long but some I will.  (obviously I will have to change our Skype names so that will take sometime)

 

Paste them into word or text and control f find and replace your names. Faster than doing it manually. 

 

It doesn't mean a dime though cos nothing she says is going to convince anyone that it's not a scam - the only way people will believe it is if you hire a PI or get another member to investigate her. 

 

 

okay im in Skype at the moment and we have talked many things he is a wealthy thai man, he owns the factory she works at ( that why she can do stuff all all day and Skype with me )and owns many more business, he paid 2 million baht sin sod and 10 baht gold.  I can understand why he wants money from me but I cant compete even though im on about 70k aus a year.      I asked many serious questions.

 

      Im sure its not a scam either way I cant pay    I will post some of the transcript from Skype later.

 

Now I'm convinced it's a scam. 

• Rich factory owner marrying an uneducated dark skinned girl - sorry sad as it is it's just not gonna happen
• Thai guy pay 2 million sin sod + gold?? Maybe for a white skinned tall thai chinese girl who's got a masters and is from a good family but paying 2 million for an uneducated daughter of one of his employees - sorry this has just tipped it over the edge for me. 

I'd bet the $30k that it's a scam now. 

 

 I know its way high.     I said to her that it is large sin sod but she was only 18-19 when marry and she is quite beautiful and he is quite ugly I have seen his facebook.

 

 

She's cute I agree but to a Thai guy she simply isn't what's attractive and I would bet a significant amount that 2 million sin sod wasn't paid. I was talking to a Thai friend when we were drinking a few weeks ago - middle class Thai guy in a duty manager position at a nice hotel. He was by no means a hiso guy but even he said "Thai men find tall white skinned girls attractive, most of us don't like the darker girls the same as farangs" 

 

There are ways sin sod is calculated (when it's not mindless farangs paying silly amounts because it's "tradition") and education and family background is the driving factor. Example: a guy I know is dating an isaan girl from a middle class family, they own a fair bit of property and she's university educated and has a good job - the sin sod her parents are asking is around 600k THB. 

 

Thai guys do pay sin sod but not 2 million for an uneducated girl. Families are involved in this - do you really believe his family (assuming this wasn't a lie) would let him marry below himself AND pay a significant amount for the privilege? Of course they wouldn't because he and his family would lose face and that's everything. 

 

 

ok she sent me this email not long ago......................  "ex he want money for divorce , (her name withheld) know it hard for you decision , you no need for me if you wand go form me ?  understand you , (her name withheld) tired and dishearten​ed , wait only hope from you will help I love you and love forever, you go home I want chat skype with you na , miss you mak ka kiss"
 
 I said to myself the moment she asked for it my faith in her would waiver.     So I want to test her with a suggestion that was made here.............
I say to her " sure I'll give the 30k but we'll use it to hire the best lawyers in Bangkok and we'll do a contested divorce, that way your husband you no longer love will be out of pocket mak mar and you'll still achieve your freedom"           If she says it a bad idea well then I know its time to call her bluff.
 
 I will put this suggestion to her tonight on Skype, if anyone has a good way to word it please feel free to contribute.

 
I don't think it will work, they will probably agree to it if it's a scam and drag it on to another point where money will be needed for some reason. 
 
I've never been dicked over by a Thai girl and I'm not a cynic, however this situation looks like a scam, maybe it's not but it looks that way. Even if it's not a scam how's it going to work with you guys? No matter what she says she won't cut contact with her family and if what she's told you is true then they aren't a nice bunch and you'll have to deal with that ongoing. Plus they are in business or live close to her ex husband? You think a Thai guy is going to forget that you slept with his wife while they were still together and she left him for you making him lose massive face. 
 
The things that would make me think it's a scam and that's she's possibly not a good girl:

• You mentioned she's not educated but she speaks English. Now in an above post I disagreed with the guy who said only bar girls and international business execs speak English, however if she didn't go to uni and she works in a factory with her family then where did she learn to speak English. A lot of girls in places that are less exposed to farangs (tesco, small food stalls etc etc) speak little to no English. In her job she has no contact with westerners, no one to practise with and on Thai TV there's very little english on the standard channels. 
• The husband mails you in English. This is odd to me, even less Thai guys speak English than the girls. 

I'd suggest getting the husband on video skype to discuss it, then you will be able to see his level of English. 
 
The advice above about contacting Stickman is solid. He's a good guy, honest and straight down the line. Speaks fluent Thai and has lived here 16 years, done many investigations around the bars and would be able to sense if she was a former bargirl too. Or as the other guy had previously suggested, give me her Skype ID or facebook name and I'll chat with her and send you the transcripts. I live in Thailand, 10 minutes away from Bangna.

I mentioned before it is not just bar girls who scams, even educated Thai women happen to scam foreigners. I told you my ex wife was nurse

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I don't think my post said anything about it being bargirls being the only ones who scam, correct me if I'm wrong - the only mention of bargirls was that it would be possible to find out if she was one - the suggestion being there must be a reason she speaks English. 

 

I think everyone is aware that it's not just bargirls who scam money from people but it's much more common than non bargirls doing it. I know numerous people here who've been sleeping with girls while guys send money from overseas and believe their teerak is at home being a good girl - all of these girls work or worked in bars. I've a fair amount of female friends that I socialise with, eating, playing sports etc and none of them are interested in money or scamming guys. Some would date farang guys but sure as shit only presentable guys that are within a similar age range. For every story you read on here, stickman or wherever about someone getting scammed 95% of the time the girls is a bargirl. 

To answer the question you posed ,"how much better is thailand now"

if your a single guy out on the pull ,its much worse.

if your married with kids and living a normal life ,its far better.

all of us who have been both know why.

I've only lived here a few years so I can't say for sure, but friends who've lived here 10+ years said it's a lot better for picking up girls now as years ago most normal Thai girls wouldn't even look at a westerner but now it's becoming more acceptable.

ok she sent me this email not long ago......................  "ex he want money for divorce , (her name withheld) know it hard for you decision , you no need for me if you wand go form me ?  understand you , (her name withheld) tired and dishearten​ed , wait only hope from you will help I love you and love forever, you go home I want chat skype with you na , miss you mak ka kiss"

 

 I said to myself the moment she asked for it my faith in her would waiver.     So I want to test her with a suggestion that was made here.............

I say to her " sure I'll give the 30k but we'll use it to hire the best lawyers in Bangkok and we'll do a contested divorce, that way your husband you no longer love will be out of pocket mak mar and you'll still achieve your freedom"           If she says it a bad idea well then I know its time to call her bluff.

 

 I will put this suggestion to her tonight on Skype, if anyone has a good way to word it please feel free to contribute.

 

I don't think it will work, they will probably agree to it if it's a scam and drag it on to another point where money will be needed for some reason. 

 

I've never been dicked over by a Thai girl and I'm not a cynic, however this situation looks like a scam, maybe it's not but it looks that way. Even if it's not a scam how's it going to work with you guys? No matter what she says she won't cut contact with her family and if what she's told you is true then they aren't a nice bunch and you'll have to deal with that ongoing. Plus they are in business or live close to her ex husband? You think a Thai guy is going to forget that you slept with his wife while they were still together and she left him for you making him lose massive face. 

 

The things that would make me think it's a scam and that's she's possibly not a good girl:

• You mentioned she's not educated but she speaks English. Now in an above post I disagreed with the guy who said only bar girls and international business execs speak English, however if she didn't go to uni and she works in a factory with her family then where did she learn to speak English. A lot of girls in places that are less exposed to farangs (tesco, small food stalls etc etc) speak little to no English. In her job she has no contact with westerners, no one to practise with and on Thai TV there's very little english on the standard channels. 
• The husband mails you in English. This is odd to me, even less Thai guys speak English than the girls. 

I'd suggest getting the husband on video skype to discuss it, then you will be able to see his level of English. 

 

The advice above about contacting Stickman is solid. He's a good guy, honest and straight down the line. Speaks fluent Thai and has lived here 16 years, done many investigations around the bars and would be able to sense if she was a former bargirl too. Or as the other guy had previously suggested, give me her Skype ID or facebook name and I'll chat with her and send you the transcripts. I live in Thailand, 10 minutes away from Bangna.