The missus said she was leaving me because I keep talking like a news reader .
More on that story later.
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My mother told me that the only time she ever saw my father cry was when I was born.
Apparently he wasn't expecting me to be black.
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Unicefs' representative for Pakistan said that the floods are a disaster of "biblical proportions" He might want to rephrase that.
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What do you call an Indian with pink hair? Ghandifloss.
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A third of Pakistan is under water.. Please send what you can.
I've sent some pyrahanna fish.
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I got knocked over by a cyclist today. It was my own fault though,
I was walking on the pavement.
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They had to get a translator in at the benefits office today. Some cheeky git came in speaking English.
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BREAKING NEWS: Boris Johnson to pay a surprise visit to the UK later today....
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For many this winter the choice will be either heating or eating. So that?s
either the pensions crisis sorted out or the obesity crisis.
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It must be an extremely worrying time for anybody who has dumped a body in a reservoir....
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The man who invented personalised number plates has passed away.
His funeral takes place on TUE504Y at 11am.
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Paddy's been stuck at home for 3 weeks now, wrapped in Electricians Tape.
He's Self Insulating.