Khon Kaen Dave

6 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

I really wonder what type of family you live in if you think if a farang has no 'power of purchase', then he must be seen as a 'weakness' or 'lose face' within the family context. What are you saying, if you stop buying them gifts they will talk bad about you? Or leave you? Yes, maybe you are right in a societal context - depending what 'class' or what 'morals' a group has who is discussing it, but a family context....really?

All you have to do is show some interest in the family and show that you care. Stand up when you need to. No way does that mean gifts/taking them out. For instance I had a massive fight with my work Director due to his family and my family clashing (both big opposing family names in the nearby city) - but I stood up for my family (risked my job).  If the family is super poor, yeah they may go for this gift giving thing, but even minimal wage jobs/no jobs have never acted that way with me. It definitely has no 'weak'/'lose face' conditions attached to it though. That is just marrying for money (gifts) if you believe that - which many families may do, but calling people 'fools' for actually gaining some real respect is a bit ridiculous lol.

A good family will just see that you made the effort to live in a third world country, rather than a first, and did that for them - rather than take their girl away from them, and they should not expect anything else after that. The wife of the District Office Director also told my wife this when we got our certificate, that you should not even expect him to work. Of course I do. But the point is the way things are done depends on what you marry into. My family on our first meeting told me they will never ask for money, or expect me to help if shit hits the fan financially, as if it does hit the fan it is because they have made silly decisions, so it is their own responsibility. The most I have bought them was 50  baht flowers on the mother in law birthday...and went halves in a car cleaning kit for the father's birthday.

Power of purchase in a family context....are you sure your family is not more of a business than family? Like a company giving incentives lol. If you are seen as 'weak', then hasn't the family just basically married you for some gift, rather than you? Which is completely fine, we all speak different languages of love if you like, but don't try and categorise all Thai 'villages' as being like that and then calling others 'fools', because you married into something that some may disagree with on moral grounds.

What village do you live in? if at all. You are painting fantasy assumptions in your own mind, if the above load of rubbish is anything to go by.Unless you are a villager, you have no idea of how much respect you can get by a simple action. I dont buy them gifts, or lend them money. My MIL is 77, i treat her well. I give her 2000b a month, that allows her to do what she wants. She is active and goes out and buys her own food and even takes the bloody dog for a walk. She helps her friends who have nothing. She thinks her SIL is Felag dee jai dee mach mach. Is that a problem for you. I like to make her life a bit better, is that wrong. As for the gift of a drill to my BIL, why is that a problem. Is it a problem for you that i take 10 or so kids down to the lake and feed them once a month. Again, a problem for you? Having building experience i also help with laying drains and tiling shower rooms, Free, A problem for you?  I built some wardrobes  in our house and the wifes sisters house, Problem?  So what are the moral grounds that i am conflicting with.

It is up to me how i treat my family and those around us. I suggest that you mind your own business until you can come up with something worth reading

14 hours ago, jenifer d said:

umm, as it says just below my picture, i live in Lanta; i have never even visited Samui, nor would i...

i am a published author who also professionally edits manuscripts from other authors for my publisher;

since i am not so distantly related to 2 of the last 5 US presidents, i was raised to NOT show off my class and breeding,

and was imbued constantly with the fact that "every person, every life, is a book- don't judge the book by its cover, read the story"-

i have no need to live a luxurious lifestyle or to "show off", and i am equally at home hanging out with a governor, big police, mayor,

kamnan, mafia chief, laborer w/dirt shack, street food seller, drug dealer, kratom partiers, and anybody and everybody in between

 

so, since we know that you can't be bothered to read, (for, indeed, in other posts- even recently- i have stated my Thai nickname)

so sorry that you feel so guilty about not speaking or reading or writing Thai (as well anybody who lives here should),

or about your only having Thais hang out with you when you're buying- i am never expected to pay for anything anywhere 

here that i am invited to go, unless you count the obligatory pulling out my guitar and singing for everybody as all join in,

and welcoming an and all comers to sing/play/jam with me...

And this is going native is it? Come to my village and see real Thais and how they live. Some of these people have nothing, but they scrimp and they feed their kids. Thats Native. Any way i am done with this. You live in a plastic world, god forbid if you ever have to make a real decision. And as the other poster said. A cure for cancer would be great if you have the time.

8 minutes ago, roo860 said:

 

In between all that socialising and hob nobbing can you spare 5 minutes to find a cure for cancer?

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

Great quote, It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

4 minutes ago, jenifer d said:

umm, as it says just below my picture, i live in Lanta; i have never even visited Samui, nor would i...

i am a published author who also professionally edits manuscripts from other authors for my publisher;

since i am not so distantly related to 2 of the last 5 US presidents, i was raised to NOT show off my class and breeding,

and was imbued constantly with the fact that "every person, every life, is a book- don't judge the book by its cover, read the story"-

i have no need to live a luxurious lifestyle or to "show off", and i am equally at home hanging out with a governor, big police, mayor,

kamnan, mafia chief, laborer w/dirt shack, street food seller, drug dealer, kratom partiers, and anybody and everybody in between

 

so, since we know that you can't be bothered to read, (for, indeed, in other posts- even recently- i have stated my Thai nickname)

so sorry that you feel so guilty about not speaking or reading or writing Thai (as well anybody who lives here should),

or about your only having Thais hang out with you when you're buying- i am never expected to pay for anything anywhere 

here that i am invited to go, unless you count the obligatory pulling out my guitar and singing for everybody as all join in,

and welcoming an and all comers to sing/play/jam with me...

I have read your post with interest, i can only say that i can see you singing 'Kumbaya' with your extended Thai 'family". You represent your self as a thai wanna be. There are many of you about. You are obviously so far up your own @rse that you cannot see that you are simply a felang woman with 'hangabouts' As for your guilt about my thai,i get by, but i dont speak Thai, i speak Isaan, which if you didnt know is a different dialect.You seem to think that you have the 'call' on thai culture. But i think you are going to be very disappointed later on in life. I also think that you are here because of some hidden problem that you had in your own country. But anyway, thats not here nor there YET. Enjoy your plastic life with your plastic friends. You wouldn't know real Thailand, if it came up and bit you on the arse.

3 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Ok but you said no one gave you nowt so that's not entirely true is it. I said it twice.

Its true, i never wanted the house, but it fell to me. I have never made a penny from it. As i said, i do not rent it.but i pay the insurance on it and the repairs if i have to.What is your problem that you feel you have to prove that i am a store bought prince?

9 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Sorry KKD I do believe you inherited a house in battersea from your old man God bless. So not entirely correct. Sorry to say I read your posts from time to time. And I'll respond generally to the BS about family first.

It was from my grandad. If you have something to say,please do it, i have no secrets.I have never made a penny out of that house. I do not rent it, nor do i let anybody stay there.That house will never pay me anything because it is already in the ownership of my daughter. My family solicitor has control over this. Of course if i die then my wife will receive a percentage of it, which is in writing.If she decides to sell it.which is my wish. I am sure that my daughter would rather have the money than a dusty old house in a part of London that she does not wish to reside. So my threatening friend, bring it on.

8 minutes ago, jenifer d said:

i agree with most of what you say, except for the beach part-

i live a 1-minute walk from a breathtaking, CLEAN white sand beach w/gorgeous, clear blue water and no jet skis, power boats, or prostitutes anywhere to be seen (but of course, i'm way in the south and far away from any city,

there aren't any cities larger than 40,000 people within 100+ km of us;

it seems as if the OP wants the company of other expats, otherwise why move? Thai village life is so much more

peaceful and cheaper- and if it's Pattaya or Hua Hin he's contemplating, he may love it but the wife probably won't

(especially Pattaya) IMHO, living in or near Bangkok is heinous,

although i love it there, the pollution attacks my skin and health rapidly every time i visit

I read in one of your earlier quotes that the Thai people gave you your Thai name after your 4th day there. when they knew it was your home. I would only guess what that name was. I also read the information of where you live and i know it is on Samui. How you describe it is beautiful, but i ask myself, is this the real world of a ' native Thai' I guess you must be a published author? are you a Jackie Collins or an Emil Zola. Your luxurious lifestyle must be a real inspiration to your 'real Thai friends' 

 Post me no more with your twee insults and criticisms of people that dont speak Thai, as you demand they must.Post me no more of your thai life style, when it is far more than any Thai could ever hope to aspire to.

2 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

Low pay doesnt mean no money. Its called working to stop being bored as i did. Not about the money

. If you like to treat family so they suck up to you good for you. Petsonaly i look after my family not extended family.so no cudos to me does not matter. Sounds as though you think your a god amongst men. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

Low pay doesnt mean no money. Its called working to stop being bored as i did. Not about the money

. If you like to treat family so they suck up to you good for you. Petsonaly i look after my family not extended family.so no cudos to me does not matter. Sounds as though you think your a god amongst men. 

 

 

 

 

Answer. You speak rubbish. When you marry into a Thai family you have certain responsibilities. I didnt want my wifes family to think that she had chosen badly. My Thai family have respect, and thats what you have to get when you marry into one. If they have no respect for you, you are 'kee Nok' birds shit. My wife is respected and so am i. We even got an invitation to the bank managers daughters wedding.Me thinking that i am a god among men only shows your insecurity in your position. But if you wantbto know, i am noe thief or London wise boy. I had to get a university degree in plumbing design, to earn the big bucks in my country. i worked like a bastard to get where i was. I paid into every pension i could. 20 years. Now i have what i deserve. Nobody gave me anything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 minutes ago, Bastos60 said:

you probably mean 3am.

3pm sounds good too

6 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

"Currently, my wifes family is quite good to me but there is always a bad apple- the eldest brother. From the start he was quite aggressive and disrespectful to me but it has been resolved now as we don't see him much at all. He basically doesn't come to our house at all thankfully. "

Resolved being the main focus.

He is moving not beacuse of the brother its beacuse he wants to swim in the sea. 

Where has this he hasnt got a lot of money come from! All ge says us his wife earns more than him. So does mine so does that mean i dont have the power of money behind me. Quite a leap there.

Read the post, my friend, he says he is on low pay. I live in a village and i know that the power of money is a real advantage. My wife's two sisters live either side of us. I often have a little party for them, or take us all out for a meal to the local fish restaurant. I do them  favours but i never lend them money. My sisters husband's drill broke, so i bought him a new one. I built some wardrobes for the other sister. Its called being the good brother in law. The matriarch of the whole family will not have a thing said against me. Thats called having the power of purchase.If  a felang has no purchase power, it is considered a weakness, and he loses face within the family circle.For what i spend, which is nothing to me, i get a lot of cudos in return, and it makes my wife feel good. Now tell me that doesnt matter, and i will call you a fool. I still say, beware the brother.

4 hours ago, YetAnother said:

are we at the point yet where we just probe all politicians ? i for one would put up my own money ascerting that 80 % + are corrupt

I am sure that we are being flooded by the suspicion and questioning of these minor officials, while the truly guilty higher ups, are making their escapes, so to speak.

2 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

Cant remember him saying the in laws were there 24/7or in fact there was a problem with the in laws save a grumpy brother who he doesnt see. What he said was he wants to be able to swim in the sea.

 

If he is persuaded to stay in the family circle, i would beware the Brother. You never can tell what is on their minds in cases like this.Thai women have very strong ties with their families. Its almost like a chain wrapped around them. They wont insult or argue with the elders, they will find it hard to move away. Dont forget that a disgruntled Thai male can make a lot of problems for a felang who does not have the power of money behind him. He will also have a bunch of mates, to whom he has told the tale. Step carefully my friend.

2 minutes ago, 650721 said:

I can't believe it. Prostitutes in pattaya, who would have thought. Discracefull. They must be ting tong me 55555

Yes its true. Now repeat after me... There are no prostitutes in Pattaya, there are no prostitutes in Pattaya.

There are lonely young women who only want company. again, and again.

6 hours ago, jerojero said:

Be prepared for her many repeated trips home to visit her family. Eventually she will say it's optional for you to join her, then her visits will become longer and longer, leaving you alone more and more. And finally she'll tell you she's not happy apart from her family and more unhappy than being away from you. All the above may indeed happen, especially that she's financially self sufficient.

 

 

Sad but true.

5 minutes ago, mikosan said:

Although I care little, I don't live in Pattaya, I still despair. How are the cops going to make any money and do the authorities really want to turn Pattaya into a ghost town? Which, of course, means the cops will earn even less money.  Get a life.

 

 

The RTB are still trying to work out what "biting the hand that feeds you"means.

I just read the headline. Someone help me up!

2 minutes ago, Prbkk said:

"Mutton dressed as lamb" may be part of this story but I lean more to "wolf in sheep's clothing".

I thought his reply was more towards being an insufferable Boar.

3 hours ago, YetAnother said:

bet he gets it right the next attempt (altho this is a pretty stupid guy); no real loss

Propane? Its a gas, man

7 hours ago, Borzandy said:

I don't understand why the cop didn't shoot the monk.....

The cop didn't shoot him because he knew the bullets would just bounce off. He had previously noticed that the Orange clad one was wearing his "i cant die today" amulet.

2 hours ago, Xobtsiwt said:

Anyway, these are modern times. If a girl likes a good knobbing several times a day, what's wrong with that?

Great get out.

7 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

They put the sexy into sex. And talked about it too!! Helped Hip Hop get started. Those were the days.

I remember them. Great girls as i recall

2 hours ago, Xobtsiwt said:

Anyway, these are modern times. If a girl likes a good knobbing several times a day, what's wrong with that?

Once again, words fail me.

15 minutes ago, William C F Pierce said:

More likely ashamed if the whole village knows about her. Did 5000 men find out how ugly she was without all that makeup?

 

Why would you say that when a good percentage of the villagers daughters are probably doing the same thing.

Also you must have damn good eyes to know what she looks like without make up, because i cant find that photo anywhere.Can you be so kind as to show me it. If not, then shut the front door!

53 minutes ago, Artisi said:

How about an Arab lady boy being robbed by a farang lady boy dressed like a Thai? 

Hmmmmm, how about a Thai being dressed as a ferang being robbed by a chinese being  dressed as a 150.000 baht gold necklace, in disguise as a lady boy?

No no, this is getting ridiculous now

2 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

What an ugly ass woman, I'm surprised she even managed to get date one guy. But then again, there are lots of dudes with very very low standards out there...

Words fail me