somchai jones

Hackney, Peckham and even Brixton can be pretty hairy late at night. Having said that, even most provincial towns in UK have their token collection of town centre idiots who can't hold their drink making pricks of themselves.

This is a much visited subject but I can only call it how I see it; in all the years I've spent in Thailand I've always felt safe. That's not to say violence is non existant.

10 years ago I was on a bus (of the strap hanging variety) when a Thai guy, being pursued by others, jumped on with a gun. Fortunately he soon jumped off.

Also, over the years I've had a few police friends, mostly high ranking. Some very sensible, others very scary when drunk, gun in hand!

The rules off Muay Thai, are not exactly Queensbury rules. Thailand is not Eastbourne, thank god!

It's a chaotic, vibrant, sometimes unruly enigma. That's why lots of us love it.

As far as feeling safe goes, I can only speak from my own experience. I repeat, I feel far safer in this country than I do in certain situations in England, my home country. e.g. travelling on a night bus in London - not an experience to be relished!

The fact that Thailand is a developing country and as such there is still that huge gap between rich and poor and there are so many people here that are truly poor, i.e. they don't have a pot to piss in, makes it all the more surprising that there aren't more attacks on foreigners!

As for changes that are taking place, what catches my attention most is the increase in violence by visiting youths from overseas, those same idiots that have trouble holding their drink in there own countries. A slap from a bouncer might help to put some manners on them.

Oh well, I've been in Auckland since Sunday on business. I'm bored shitless and very much looking forward to getting back to Bangkok on Thursday. I'll remember to wear a suit of armour though and keep my head down, Christ I might even stay indoors after dark..........ho hum and in the words of BT, any further comment would be superfluous.

Reminder that only legal items and sources should be included in our posts.

This Somchai Kunplome fellow is an imposter.

There's only one Somchai and that's me!!

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to ask... because I'm having no luck.

Can anyone recommend any online shops that will send sex toys to Thailand? Many I have looked at in Europe and USA don't list it as a destination. And I've never seen any on sale here.

Any help would be great

D.

If you are that desperate for some 'artificial' stimulation, there's always the vibrate mode on your mobile phone. Alternatively, a washing machine on fast spin may come in handy or failing that, you could get your local carpenter to fashion you a dildo out of wood......any further comment would be superfluous.....

So prostitution is (in theory) illegal in Thailand, and yet the police can still help the woman to get payment for the services rendered ? Isn't that kind of like a drug dealer going to the police because a user didn't pay enough for the ya-ba he sold ?

T.I.T I guess   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was just about to say the same.

He could have stayed in Germany and shagged a brass, refused to pay and then had the sh*t kicked out of him by her pimp. Given that scenario, he'd probably choose the Thai experience.

It's a funny old world.....

Hi folks

Can anyone recommend a good opticians in Bangkok?

I want to get some new glasses. Looking for reasonable prices/quick turn around time.

Thanks.

Missionary position sex can be wonderful. If practised along with other postitions, it can (ironically perhaps) provide variety.

The only drawback however is if the person you're engaging in sex with at the time is ugly, in the sense that you have to look at them.

That´s where your national flag comes in handy, Somchai. Insturctions are simple:

1. upon completion of all necessary foreplays, as you are finding yourself finally face to face with the ugly er... face, remove flag from drawer, and unfold along the creases.

2. Gently drape the Union Jack, Stars and Stripes, Hammer and Sickle, (Instructions wrtten before the break up of the soviet union), Rising Sun, or whatever, gently drape over the guilty face in question.

3. Proceed to attempt to enjoy the sex in the name of your queen/country/emperor/Dictator, etc...

4. Following expelling her if she hasnñt left already, ensure you wash flag before replacing in your bedside drawer, behind you condoms and handcuffs, and that old roach you are keeping for emergencies.

Uncanny, Kayo. How did you know?

You have however neglected one part of the well practised process.

Inserted between 3 and 4 should read, ' After aforesaid act, congratulate her for being such a good sport.'

How much money do you normally take on a run?These two Thai men can not be too bright. next time they are going to mug somebody that is swimming!

Did you hear about the two Thai pickpockets recently arrested in a nudest colony?

Not to mention the Thai cat burglar who was recently arrested trying to break into a pet shop!

Like nowhere else. Brash, brassy, sleazy, edgy, vibrant, obsurd, invigorating, exhausting and as all of you know, at that time when the sun is setting over the bay -enchanting too.

How much money do you normally take on a run?These two Thai men can not be too bright. next time they are going to mug somebody that is swimming!

Yeah, not only cowardly but brainless too....

Any tourist staying in room 504 at this hotel will now have trouble getting night time company to stay in the same room.

In the words of BT - Any further comment would be superfluous....

What is missionary sex?

Are you serious?

to prevent anyone giving a silly answer...

The Missionary Position derives from a colonial view of sex. It is the most religiously accepted form of sexual position. Most of the religious leaders from the old "western" cultures used to teach that sex was only for procreation and therefore not for enjoyment. They believed that couples should engage in sex with the woman on her back, legs open, with the man on top of her. No birth control, no pleasure just reproduction.

so in present tense society... that position is still considered the Missionary position.

Missionary position sex can be wonderful. If practised along with other postitions, it can (ironically perhaps) provide variety.

The only drawback however is if the person you're engaging in sex with at the time is ugly, in the sense that you have to look at them.

Somchai- I don't think it's fair to say that a tattoo is all that you inferred. Different people tattoo for different reasons. Some do do it in order to stick out in a crowd and be different from the "herd", just like you said. It doesn't mean that they're inferior or defunct in anyway. It means that they're individuals. Why do you own a specific vehicle or choose one color over the rest? Why do you wear the style of clothes that you wear? The answer is simple, they are all reflective of your personality. Do any of your choices label you as defunct or inferior? No, those choices let others in the "herd" see who "you" think you are. You should get to know more about a subject or practice before you pass judgement on it.

At one time, I too didn't understand tattooing and the reasoning for it. When I went to a war zone and lived through a few experiences, my thought processes changed. I saw some of my friends getting tattoos and asked them about it. There was a feeling of kinsmenship and pride when we memorialized the situation we found ourselves in. That was my reasoning... right or wrong, that is for me to decide, not the world or people such as you. I chose to get mine in places that weren't visible to the public, those are messages for me, so that I'll never forget. I can't speak for others, nor can you. There is nothing that we do, nothing that we choose, nothing that we wear that isn't reflective of ourselves and our personalities. If everyone in the world were forced to wear a specific uniform, almost every person would find a way to individualize it, even if only in some insignificant way. It's unfair of you to label others based on your choices and values, just as it would be unfair of others to label you based soley on your hairstyle, clothing or jewelry.

Well thought out reply, Soic. The only problem is, you've addressed it to the wrong person!

If you read back, you'll see that it should be my friend the Gent that you are replying to.

I in fact appreciate body art: that's why as I mentioned in my previous post I have my name tattooed on my cock.

The Dude would like to know what the fascination is with tattooing. He has no shovels for tattoos because he can't figure out why persons like to put permanent marking on perfectly good skin. Can someone help The Dude out on this one?

Ultimately, in the context of this OP and other kindred westerners, it probably resolves to vanity and perceived peer group pressure to follow fashion. I suppose there is also an atavistic desire to distinguish oneself from the herd and a tattoo is perhaps the quickest way of achieving that in lieu of any other ' marker ' such as talent, strength, intelligence or wit.

Personally, I find the current craze for self mutilation, by tattoo and/or head jewellery, quite useful in that it invariably indicates the exponent is somehow deficient and not worth bothering with thereby reducing the risk of engaging in redundant social intercourse. A similar aid in identifying one's social inferiors is that silly coloured rubber band worn by the vacuous on their wrists presumably in some feeble attempt to associate themselves with the worthy slogan inscribed thereon.....more often than not, literally a case of wearing one's heart on one's sleeve.

I have a tattoo that reads 'SOI'.

'Why do you have an English transliteration of the Thai word for street'? an interested observer once enquired.

All became clear to her later that evening when I was rather more aroused.

S-O-M-C-H-A-I she spelled aloud!

Metric or imperial ?

Colonial.

The Dude would like to know what the fascination is with tattooing. He has no shovels for tattoos because he can't figure out why persons like to put permanent marking on perfectly good skin. Can someone help The Dude out on this one?

Ultimately, in the context of this OP and other kindred westerners, it probably resolves to vanity and perceived peer group pressure to follow fashion. I suppose there is also an atavistic desire to distinguish oneself from the herd and a tattoo is perhaps the quickest way of achieving that in lieu of any other ' marker ' such as talent, strength, intelligence or wit.

Personally, I find the current craze for self mutilation, by tattoo and/or head jewellery, quite useful in that it invariably indicates the exponent is somehow deficient and not worth bothering with thereby reducing the risk of engaging in redundant social intercourse. A similar aid in identifying one's social inferiors is that silly coloured rubber band worn by the vacuous on their wrists presumably in some feeble attempt to associate themselves with the worthy slogan inscribed thereon.....more often than not, literally a case of wearing one's heart on one's sleeve.

I have a tattoo that reads 'SOI'.

'Why do you have an English transliteration of the Thai word for street'? an interested observer once enquired.

All became clear to her later that evening when I was rather more aroused.

S-O-M-C-H-A-I she spelled aloud!

Where did you live in London?

"remember that even spain , france , u,s,a .london have a lot more issues than thailand and samui"

Huh?

Possibly Hackney, Peckham or New Cross.

Somchai Smith

I find that a pre-sex joint is marvellous for breaking down cultural barriers.

If your partner doesn't partake (possibly due to religous barriers) the fumes will usually suffice anyway. Sensual, uninhibited, highly enjoyable sex ensues.

I'll get slated by the conservatives but I don't mean this to be an offensive post.

So im not really fat or anything but now that Im in Samui I figuered that I should work off this little beer belly and try to work on buidling up my muscles a bit.

This is going to mean a diet change as well as working out.

Where are the gyms located and what are the fees involved?

Is it possible to find a personal trainer here?

My favourite Samui gym is World Gym. Coming from Maenam to Chaweng on the main island road it's on your right some way before you get to south Chaweng. There's a large sign that's wuite easy to spot.

It is about 120 bahtper day, but you get cheaper monthly/weekly deals. I favour it because it's a good weight training gym with plenty of free weights. It does have some cardio equipment too though to help burn off the pounds.

There's also a gym in Lamai and a new gym in Meanam and some of the exclusive hotels would probably have fitness centres. Personally, I use the gym for weights but a great way to keep trim is running along the beach (Maenam in my case) early in the morning.

offensive post deleted

What the f***?! Moderators, please get this crap out of here!

As for the OP, Boo's right - this topic's just been discussed and there's a lot of good advice on the thread she gave you the link to.

Absolutely. The OP now has the info she needs so moderators do something useful and delete the offensive post.

All you Samuites may want to check this out, although it doesn't make for pleasant reading :

http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,,1748146,00.html

Me and my wife have been visiting Samui for the last 6 years but this year was a nightmare.

We arrived on samui on the 28th of Jan, we stay in Lamai close to Grand mother rocks, over the next week we made friends with a Thai lady who ran a riding school just past the fishing village and my wife made arrangements to go riding on Fri the 3rd of Feb but was throwing it down so she didn't go. The following Thur the 9th of Feb the lady turned up at the Blues Stop, a bar that we used to go in, she rides a chopper m/bike.

It was 11pm , at 11.30pm she asked my wife to go with her to see the horses, 1 hour at the most and my wife hadn't had a drink.

As they were leaving she passed my wife the remainder of her drink and said finish that, she was dropped off later that evening at 02.10am in what i can only describe as completely out of it!!

She slept for 17 hours and when she awoke the next day she had 2 horrendous burns on her legs off the bikes exhaust, and complained of being sore between her legs!!

It was 3 weeks later before she started to have recollections of that evening and she believes she was raped by 4 Thai men.

On the 15th of Feb we left Samui to go to Penang for a week, we arrived at Nathon and I had put my document bag in my rucksack to keep my hands free, on arrival at Nathon we were put on a coach to go to the other ferry about 5 miles away, when we got there I was waiting by the coach to retrieve my bag and the coach just drove on to the ferry, the baggage boy said no problem bags safe locked on coach.

Needless to say when we got to Surat Thani we had been robbed, passports,travelers cheques.cash, flight tickets home, driving license,Thai bank book etc.

Not to be recommended, a complete ball ache, it took 8 days to get knew travelers cheques, not the 24 hours as advertised. (American Express).

Also the Baht buses on Samui have hiked up the prices, they want 50 Baht to go half a K, and they are riding around empty, every one's walking.

Any one thinking of going to Samui for a paradise holiday think again, I never thought I would say it but you would be better off going to Pattaya.

Crime is on the increase in Samui, every day we heard of a tourist who had been robbed or had their bungalow or room broken into as said by Soph in an earlier post.

If tourist were to stay away for a couple of years maybe Samui would clean it's act up, clean the filthy beaches (Evan the beaches in Pattaya are cleaner than Samui) and repair the atrocious roads!!

A have been a frequent visitor to Thailand for the last 20 years and I always treat them with the upmost respect, I love Thailand, the people and the culture, but this year I am well xxxxxx off with Samui.

So, let me get this straight. You and your wife have been coming to thailand for 6 years and you let her (and she went!) go off with a total stranger late at night and drank from that persons drink! You then put your valuables in the bottom of the bus.

Sorry, but would either of you do these things at home? Frankly, I can't believe someone who has been coming here for that long would be so naive. Even the 20 year old backpackers figure it out after a couple of weeks.

I've been coming to Thailand for 20 years, and normaly we carry our bags on to the ferry, this was the first time we were put on a coach and driven to the other port, only 5 minutes away, and when the coach drove on the ferry with our bags from then on it was out of our hands.

Maybe because we have been coming so long we had got complacent with the honesty that we have become accustomed to from Thai people!!

But Samui is becoming the crime capital of Thailand, it's worse than Bangkok.

'But Samui is becoming the crime capital of Thailand, it's worse than Bangkok.'

You may have overlooked Pattaya in this assesment. Also, some of the cowboy towns on the border with Myanmar are pretty naughty. Good fun though. Beats Eastbourne!

Again, this is where the personal perspective comes into play; you say you don’t want to wait for everything to be fixed, I say I don’t want to see everything fixed. I like the disorganization, again its part of the charm.

Look at Sillypore - what a boring place man. Yes it’s beautiful, clean and organized, but what a boring, clinical place to live.

Couldn't have put it better.

I visit Singapore regularly in my work and it's fine for a day or two but that's about it.

The chaos/oddness/idiosincracy of Thailand is what charms me. God forbid it ever becomes a Singapore clone. That's the first step to becoming an Auckland clone!

The same thing happened to me but it was with a wife and not a girlfriend.

She left me for a Mexican gardener after she found out about my affair with my assistant manager at work (the fact that she was once my assistant manager and married to someone else when we first made love was lost on her).

The Gardener was everything I was not. Big and strong and dumb with a love of flowers and hard spirits. I am short and smart and could care less about flowers and I never drink anything stronger than beer.

She wouldn’t talk to me or email me she just divorced me.

I did a lot of searching on line and found out she was posting on a site much like Thai Visa but for people with Mexican friends who were trying to learn Spanish. I speak a little Spanish so I invented a female persona of a woman who had a Mexican boyfriend and after six months of posting I became her best online friend and confidant. We talked about everything including her failed marriage (with me) and her new Mexican boyfriend.

One evening while she was chatting on line with me he started beating her up. She got back on line and told me what was happening.

I called the cops and went over to the house with an axe handle and called him out. Just as he was proceeding to beat me up the cops arrived and he was deported because he was illegal.

I moved back in and we had a wonderful three weeks until she left me for a Hungarian ballroom dance instructor.

I was going to have the Hungarian deported too but I met 20 year old stripper who had a taste for Thai food and old guys and she kept me occupied.

I think there is a moral to my tale. The ladies don’t like to be cheated on. Even my awesome good looks, and devilish charm, three degrees and buckets full of money were not enough to overcome the fact that I was unfaithful. The poly amorous nature of men is not widely understood in America.

TRIPPER OF THE YEAR AWARD 2006 Nominee.............. PLEASE PLEASE, MODS can we have an official Tripper of the Year Poll????????????

It's gotta happen on TV!!!!!!!!!!!

I fully support and endorse your nomination of that post, khall.

The only thing missing from that story was something about losing his stripper girl to a goat herder from Somalia because he cheated on her with a Nepalese prostitute.

Not to mention the fact that the Nepalese prostitute turned out to be the half sister of the Mexican gardener!

yeah - tht involves regular border runs where you have to go to Myanmar or Malaysia regularly - works out to about $50 or so a trip, if you do it cheaply. The trips'll be every 3 months. It doesn't get any better than the 1 year multiple entry, unless you are around enough for residency....

Depending on your situation financially, the visa trips can be really enjoyable. I know some people look upon them as a chore, but my wife (Malay) and I used to find the trips a nice change from the norm. After all you're getting to do a visit to another country.

on june 20th , the Chaweng Union of Nightime Taxidrivers and Samlors (C.U.N.T.S.) will be giving a display of advanced shortchanging techniques and treadless tyre power drifting skills.

a surliest taxidriver competition will be held , first prize , a set of rusty rear seat springs for a 1995 toyota corolla.

6 drunk russian tourists will be pulled from the bars to act as judges.

all are very welcome. entrance is free. ....for thais , (foriegn aliens entrance fee 100b)

STOP HIJACKING EVERY THREAD WITH YOUR &lt;deleted&gt;.

You know, once or twice it would be funny but frankly, you need to see someone about this obsessive disorder you have.

You are testing the limits of my patience.

Agreed. Bitterness becoming an obsession. A trip to a councillor may be in order.