Aussiepeter

You got that right ! My Thai wife of 24 years has her own bedroom - she hasn't touched me in donkey's years. When asked, she claims "it is because she is going through menopause" (she's 52). Our 15 y.o. daughter joked with me "if that's true dad, her menopause has lasted 15 years, as I've never seen her kiss you even once, since I was born" ! Way back in 1994, I owned (together with a Thai) a very successful bar in the Chiang Mai night-bazaar. I still recall the most prophetic graffiti I've ever seen, written above the male urinal at the rear of the night-bazaar. It read "never marry - stay happy" .......

What a load of rubbish - I really can't believe this drivel. The figures just DON'T add up. I left LOS in 2013, cashed-up after living there for 25 years and, after selling our luxury home in Chiang Mai. I never paid anything like the obscene rent in Thailand that these folks are 'allegedly' paying. When I married the Mrs, we rented a brand new town-house in C Mai for 5500 baht a month and, the rent never went up in eight years. Then we built our own home, in 2008. Sure, it's not Phuket, but for goodness sake ! Rents in Oz are extreme now but a 60 y.o. bloke with a 45 y.o. dragon in tow, plus a 5 y.o. kid & paying how much rent in baht ? Hmm. I am 72 & have a 15 y.o. half-Thai daughter. I am near-fluent in all three dialects of Thai & thus survived LOS easily, as I also read & write Thai, but the Mrs always double-checked me anyway. If these figures quoted are correct, I predict that this "dream life" for these new expats will soon end in tears. Hers mostly, but his, if it is all his money. We sold our home in C Mai for about 2 mill baht. In comparison, our 100 y.o. timber home on big land in a popular NSW area in Oz cost us $220K in 2013 - it is now valued at $950K+ & we own it outright. Our old house in C Mai is now totally surrounded by budget, cheap-as-chips horrid housing, along with the riff-raff that rents such dodgy 1K baht a month digs - it's become a slum. Best price now on my old place there would be perhaps under 4 mill baht ? That's $200K AUD. What was this bloke thinking, if he even was ? Either this new bod is up to something very dodgy $ wise (or won the lottery), or the entire story is, to relapse to my Geordie upbringing, total bollo*ks. I wish them well though. Poor little kid has a chance at least, as children pick up foreign languages quickly. Doubt dad or mum will learn much though - except dad will learn about Thai 'massage' pretty fast down in Phuket.

Under NO circumstances should you even consider bringing in ANY meat into LOS, especially if you live there, unless you have deep pockets & lots of $. In the 25+ years I lived in Chiang Mai, I always brought in cheese & all manner of things I missed from home, but no meat. Entering through C Mai airport, I was seldom searched anyway. On one of my last trips before we left LOS for good I had cheese in a cooler box but couldn't find a cooler block to put in with it, so I put in two frozen sausages I found in the freezer in Oz, to keep the cheese cool. Although they usually waved me through at C Mai airport, that day they made me put my big bag through the x-ray. It was then that I saw the notice on the wall behind the machine and, all the penalties for bringing in ANY kind of meat ! They detected the sausages straight away, made me open the bag & I sh*t myself. One officer brought it to the attention of his senior, who asked me in English what it was and why I had done it, pointing to the sign on the wall. Luckily I speak pretty fluent Northern Thai & explained that my Thai wife had "asked me to buy her two chilli snags" & that "I am afraid of my Thai wife, so I always obey her" ! He laughed & shook his head, saying to the others in Thai, words to the effect that "it was only a small amount" & he let me go. Lucky they thought I really was scared of my wife. It clearly is not worth the potential risk ($$$) to bend this law....

I left LOS in 2013 with my Thai family & moved to Australia, as I had cancer. In 2016 I had further treatment. After I'd finished my first week of months of nastiness, I stopped in at my local pub to put a bet on a horse, as I am involved in thoroughbred racing & breeding. Sadly, TAB's in Australia are now nearly all located in pubs & clubs. It was a Sunday & only two people were in the bar. I backed a 40/1 winner at its' first start, which apparently upset a local who had just lost his money backing something else. As I walked past him to collect my winnings, I became the victim of a "one punch" un-provoked attack. He had simply 'lost it', completely. Luckily my head never hit the floor, or I'd be dead. I was however knocked out & the chap who did it was charged & convicted. He was British, but lived here. I was lucky, as the pub had just installed CCTV the day before & it was all on film. As I didn't die, unlike so many others both here in Australia & particularly in the UK, the Court was lenient with the t*rd & he got off lightly with a fine. Two days ago the ABC here in Oz ran a special on "one punch attacks" in the UK. It revealed that the numbers of such incidents are horrendous in the UK & so, just like here in Australia, the UK govt. has enacted legislation giving severe penalties for one-punch attacks that result in the death or disability of the victim. The number of deaths from "one punch" attacks in the UK in recent years is appalling. Like others have said, if I got violent when I drank beer, I'd quit drinking.

Funnily enough, the first lass I ever 'bar-fined' in LOS was a lovely Philipina in Pattaya in 1987. I was on the way to a two year posting in Greece of all places - it was suggested by a mate that I may wish to stopover in LOS, as my chances of finding 'love' would be slim in Greece. Back then I couldn't speak a word of Thai & was shocked when a b/g spoke better English than most squaddies. Doubt she was a serious church-goer though. Even weirder, Greece is listed as a "hardship" posting & Officers were given a fully paid return ticket to 'anywhere' every six months, in return for putting up with such "hardship'. No prizes for guessing where I chose to get over the "hardship"....

Lacessit hit the nail on the head. As I've said before, after I got throat cancer we left Chiang Mai (and LOS) for good in 2013. We built our house from scratch in Saraphi in 2008 & it had all the 'bells & whistles' and then some - multiple aircons, two fully-equipped kitchens (both Thai & farang), 3M satellite dish with umpteen channels etc but no pool, as I didn't want to be a slave to one (they need contact maintenance). Big 2 rai block with huge attached lumyai (longan) orchard bringing in good $ each year too. Far and away the flashest house I'm ever likely to own. We started asking for 4 mill (yes, it was not a giant kings' palace like the poster has here) but eventually settled for less than half that amount, in order to GTFO. People who are prepared to spend 22 million baht want a new house of their own design. Mine was like new, but it literally took over a year to even get a serious bite and, they beat us down. Sort of "as soon as they know a farang is selling, they sense a 'fire sale' - but good luck anyway - the Chinese are so cashed up, they have bought 2/3 of Australia by now ....

When we moved back to Oz I wished I had a couple of these mozzie zappers, but assumed they would be illegal here so didn't put any in our cargo. Imagine my shock (no pun intended) when I was waiting for the wife to finish her free English class at the local TAFE and I walked in to one of those cheapo shops with stuff from China, that was opposite the TAFE. First thing I saw near the door was a box those tennis-racquet-like devices, just as we had in Chiang Mai. I bought three, at $3 AUD (75 baht) each. They must not have passed customs - which doesn't surprise me. I got issue one of those 'warning notices' for "a military helmet with kevlar liner" found in our shipment. It was a 1965 Vietnam War era US helmet I bought in Udon. The liner is fibreglass - kevlar wasn't even invented back then. The idiots in Customs stole it from me, fullstop. They haven't got a clue. Many of my friends have had totally innocuous items confiscated. They can only search about one in thirty containers coming in and, Oz is awash with unsafe illegal cheap Chinese stuff, like the cap-guns I bought in the same shop. I use them to keep the crows off the veggie garden. Anyone wanting to buy a mozzie zapper in OZ, just ask your nearest big Asian food store. I've since seen them there too, but at $5 each. They had boxes of 'em. Whether they are legal though is another question....

I predict they will rue this decision - New Zealand surely did. They allowed Thais to enter NZ visa-free for three months back in the 1990's, with the end result being many thousands of Thai illegal over-stayers, who no doubt fell in love with the clean air in NZ and the easy ability to get a cash job. Kiwi's got a reciprocal deal from Thailand at the time - enter with no visa. New Zealand woke up & went back to making Thais apply for a visa and of course, Thailand responded to that decision by doing the same thing to NZ passport holders.

From his name & appearance, I doubt that this supposed 'Aussie' was born in Australia. Most likely, he's one of our more recent 'quality' imports, maybe from the Pacific islands area, who has picked up our lingo. Been a few neanderthals like this bloke in the evening news here lately, mostly for violence, with alcohol usually a factor.

As I've reported many times on here, I moved my Thai family to Australia in 2013 after I was diagnosed with laryngeal cancer from 20+ years of breathing Chiang Mai's foul air - I am a non-smoker. The ENT specialist who treated me back then told me that I was the fifth or sixth non-smoking patient he had seen with similar T1 (treatable) throat cancer and ALL had spent a long time in CM. On my final ten year check-up last year, he told me that the number of patients he had seen with similar cancers had now risen to about twenty & all had lived for a long time in LOS. The good news is I don't have to see the specialist again, as ten years after radiation therapy I am cancer free. Any ideas I had of being an opera singer are gone too as I now cough like an old Welsh coal-miner, a side-effect of having my tonsils barbequed. I pity all those Thai children having to suffer, growing up breathing CM air-pollution. The future is bleak, as it only gets worse every year.

For the uninformed, I assume you are referring to the old 21 Division Vice Squad in Sydney, historically some of the most corrupt & violent cops ever to wear a uniform - most local police in LOS are complete nuns by comparison.

Can't say the same thing about Chiang Mai re curtain hotels. In the 1990's - early 2000's there were dozens of curtained love hotels in the north. I especially liked the old Red Rose Hotel ? in Chiang Rai with its' themed rooms, right next to the abandoned Vietnam War era airport runway - I believe it has since been demolished. Went looking for some of my old haunts when in CM last August - the biggest & best of the old 'love hotels' in Santitam CM apparently went broke during covid, so now the owner rents the rooms there by the month, not the hour. Place was full of tuk-tuk drivers, Burmese workers & girlfriends etc. Must be different in your neck of the woods, because the north was literally a ghost town last year. As you say though, most tourists would not have a clue about the existence of such places, as they are mostly intended for use by 'locals'.

I recall that in the 1990's Thais did not need a visa to go to NZ & got three months on arrival, so the Thai govt did the same deal for kiwi's. Kiwi mate in Chiang Mai used to boast about it. The problem was, literally thousands of Thais decided that they loved NZ so much, they didn't leave when they should have but rather, became illegal immigrants/overstayers in NZ. Perhaps it was because unlike LOS, you can breath the air almost every day of the year in NZ without getting lung cancer or gasping for oxygen. In response, the NZ govt then forced Thais to get a visa for NZ & the Thai govt promptly responded by making Kiwi's subject to the same rules to enter LOS as the rest of us.

I lived in LOS from 1992 until 2013. The air pollution only started getting seriously toxic around 2000, when farmers all over Thailand changed crops to include more sugar & corn (for ethanol) rather than rice. Before that, the air in C Mai was only bad for a couple of months a year, three at maximum - after 2001 it was often twice that. The authorities are aware of the problem but despite making new rules each year, huge profits & zero enforcement means that sadly it will continue unabated. Chiang Mai now has the dubious honour of having some of the highest percentages of lung and throat cancer in non-smokers of any place on the planet. Despite what some have said, they have always burnt the stubble in the northern areas where I lived (mostly Chiang Dao, Hang Dong & Saraphi) but until 2000 it was seasonal & thus tolerable. The mushroom excuse is just that. Yes the locals in the hills do set fire to the forest areas to promote the growth of mushrooms, but it is the least of the problem & it is seasonal. After 2000 the smoke just got worse & worse and moving out to Saraphi in 2008 made little difference. I am aware the early widespread rains cleared a lot of it this year, as I was in C Mai for dental work in August, but it was a rare respite from the smoke. By 2013 we'd had enough of the ever-increasing air pollution & I moved my family to the valley I grew up in here in Oz, where the air is mostly clean & clear. Many of my friends have left LOS since then for the same reason - good health is worth more than anything else. I am aware that some folks have no choice but to stay put in LOS - I feel for them.

Funny story about nam-pla. My first ever experience of both LOS & fish sauce was on an overseas posting to Europe in 1987, with a stopover in Bangkok. I stayed in Embassy accommodation with a mate & we got a bit sloshed the first night on beers initially, then Mekong whiskey. The Oz embassy back then had two condo's at Jomtien for free, so we got a lift down there in the Embassy car (a Benz). The driver spoke little English but as we drove to Pattaya, my mate saw a stall selling what looked to us exactly like the whiskey we drank the night before. He got the driver to stop & we bought two bottles of 'Mekong', or so we thought. Dirt cheap too, we were amazed - only about 50 baht a bottle - same exact bottle, same label. As we drove on my mate, a big Geordie, decided that a 'crack of the whip' would do wonders for his hangover. He opened a bottle & took a huge swig. The embassy Merc almost got a spray. "(expletive) - it tastes like bl**dy fish !" You guessed it - we had just found out that they make nam-pla down in Rayong & sell it on the side of the road. Better him than me - many laughs later on as we worked it out. Like a few on here - if it is in the food then OK, but even after 23 years of marriage, the smell still bothers me ....