Aussiepeter

Sorry to hear my long time friend Ray Simmons died. When last in CM for a visit in 2023, he told me his lungs were "stuffed" & that he was on borrowed time. I was a regular at the Aussie Cafe & met some nice people there. In 2004 I met an American there (also named Ray) who asked me where I had acquired the army field coat I was wearing, as he had an identical one. I told him it had been issued to me (in Australia) during the Vietnam war & we became instant friends. We agreed to meet up again for a beer the following week, but sadly it never happened. Two days after I met him, he never arrived home. A search by his Thai wife & the police found his body in the ditch next to the CM Lamphun Road - victim of a hit-and-run from behind. On his Honda Dream, he never had a chance. He'd been badly wounded in the Battle of the Idrang Valley, made famous in the Mel Gibson film "We Were Soldiers" only to die in an accident in C Mai. Sadly, I've lost count of those I knew that have died in Thailand by misadventure. I lived in C Mai for over 25 years, on & off. I left C Mai with my Thai family for ever in 2013, after getting laryngeal cancer from breathing the air pollution (I never smoked). Radiation treatment in Australia cured me, but no way will I ever return to live in LOS. I was also a long-time friend of Ian McDougal, an original partner in 'The Escape' bar, only to find out that he too had died, in a plane crash in Indonesia in 2012. He was a friend of my ex-wife 'Dang' (Suntaree) whom I understand has also died in recent years from heart failure, although nobody seems to know much about it (I divorced Dang in 1992). If anyone knows more, please PM me, or let me know. I was a long time customer of "The Mad Dog" - which for those who are not aware, burned down on Christmas Eve 2024, with no loss of life. RIP Nick, Ray, USA Ray & Ian (Blinky Bill to those in the know on here) & if she really has passed on, my beloved Dang. Not many of us old-timers from the great days in C Mai in the 1990's are left now. I'm 73 - so probably next cab off the rank.....

This 'lass' reminds me of the saying "I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman, but I've woken up with a few". To be fair though, she's just had a few too many drinks. Sadly, my favourite waterhole in Chiang Mai for over twenty years, the "Mad Dog Bar & Restaurant" burnt down last Saturday. However, I recall an event from my time there, (I am near fluent in all dialects of Thai). Whilst having lunch, I overheard some local Thai slang & looked up to see what the staff were talking about. Two slim early 20's British males were walking past the front of the bar (100 foot frontage) - "sheep-dogging" them along from behind & nagging them "not to look at the ladies" were their 'girlfriends'. Two of the fattest, ugliest, tattoed Geordie (from their accents) lasses I'd ever seen. The girls in the bar making Thai jokes realised I was listening, but the sum total of it was (my translation) "those poor ba**ards, they've come all the way here, with endless pu*sy, but instead they took coal to Newcastle". How true. I felt pity for them. on obviously their first trip to LOS.

Just heard about this fire today, as we now live in Australia. I would have spent several hundred thousand baht in the "Mad Dog" over twenty-plus years. I started going there way back when it was called "The Overlander". When I was working in C Mai, I put a minimum 8K baht a month over the bar. I went there almost daily when visiting C Mai last year, as they have always looked after me. I doubt the fire was deliberate, unless a jealous competitor was involved, as it is a very successful business. More likely caused by bad wiring or a gas-cooker leak - both common causes of fires in LOS. I have known the new owner for over twenty years - she will be devastated, but I am sure she will get the re-building going fast, assuming the owner of the site permits her to do so, as I understand that she owns the bar, but not the land. Luckily, rebuilding will be relatively inexpensive & if she does rebuild, I wish her every success.

You got that right ! My Thai wife of 24 years has her own bedroom - she hasn't touched me in donkey's years. When asked, she claims "it is because she is going through menopause" (she's 52). Our 15 y.o. daughter joked with me "if that's true dad, her menopause has lasted 15 years, as I've never seen her kiss you even once, since I was born" ! Way back in 1994, I owned (together with a Thai) a very successful bar in the Chiang Mai night-bazaar. I still recall the most prophetic graffiti I've ever seen, written above the male urinal at the rear of the night-bazaar. It read "never marry - stay happy" .......

What a load of rubbish - I really can't believe this drivel. The figures just DON'T add up. I left LOS in 2013, cashed-up after living there for 25 years and, after selling our luxury home in Chiang Mai. I never paid anything like the obscene rent in Thailand that these folks are 'allegedly' paying. When I married the Mrs, we rented a brand new town-house in C Mai for 5500 baht a month and, the rent never went up in eight years. Then we built our own home, in 2008. Sure, it's not Phuket, but for goodness sake ! Rents in Oz are extreme now but a 60 y.o. bloke with a 45 y.o. dragon in tow, plus a 5 y.o. kid & paying how much rent in baht ? Hmm. I am 72 & have a 15 y.o. half-Thai daughter. I am near-fluent in all three dialects of Thai & thus survived LOS easily, as I also read & write Thai, but the Mrs always double-checked me anyway. If these figures quoted are correct, I predict that this "dream life" for these new expats will soon end in tears. Hers mostly, but his, if it is all his money. We sold our home in C Mai for about 2 mill baht. In comparison, our 100 y.o. timber home on big land in a popular NSW area in Oz cost us $220K in 2013 - it is now valued at $950K+ & we own it outright. Our old house in C Mai is now totally surrounded by budget, cheap-as-chips horrid housing, along with the riff-raff that rents such dodgy 1K baht a month digs - it's become a slum. Best price now on my old place there would be perhaps under 4 mill baht ? That's $200K AUD. What was this bloke thinking, if he even was ? Either this new bod is up to something very dodgy $ wise (or won the lottery), or the entire story is, to relapse to my Geordie upbringing, total bollo*ks. I wish them well though. Poor little kid has a chance at least, as children pick up foreign languages quickly. Doubt dad or mum will learn much though - except dad will learn about Thai 'massage' pretty fast down in Phuket.

Under NO circumstances should you even consider bringing in ANY meat into LOS, especially if you live there, unless you have deep pockets & lots of $. In the 25+ years I lived in Chiang Mai, I always brought in cheese & all manner of things I missed from home, but no meat. Entering through C Mai airport, I was seldom searched anyway. On one of my last trips before we left LOS for good I had cheese in a cooler box but couldn't find a cooler block to put in with it, so I put in two frozen sausages I found in the freezer in Oz, to keep the cheese cool. Although they usually waved me through at C Mai airport, that day they made me put my big bag through the x-ray. It was then that I saw the notice on the wall behind the machine and, all the penalties for bringing in ANY kind of meat ! They detected the sausages straight away, made me open the bag & I sh*t myself. One officer brought it to the attention of his senior, who asked me in English what it was and why I had done it, pointing to the sign on the wall. Luckily I speak pretty fluent Northern Thai & explained that my Thai wife had "asked me to buy her two chilli snags" & that "I am afraid of my Thai wife, so I always obey her" ! He laughed & shook his head, saying to the others in Thai, words to the effect that "it was only a small amount" & he let me go. Lucky they thought I really was scared of my wife. It clearly is not worth the potential risk ($$$) to bend this law....

I left LOS in 2013 with my Thai family & moved to Australia, as I had cancer. In 2016 I had further treatment. After I'd finished my first week of months of nastiness, I stopped in at my local pub to put a bet on a horse, as I am involved in thoroughbred racing & breeding. Sadly, TAB's in Australia are now nearly all located in pubs & clubs. It was a Sunday & only two people were in the bar. I backed a 40/1 winner at its' first start, which apparently upset a local who had just lost his money backing something else. As I walked past him to collect my winnings, I became the victim of a "one punch" un-provoked attack. He had simply 'lost it', completely. Luckily my head never hit the floor, or I'd be dead. I was however knocked out & the chap who did it was charged & convicted. He was British, but lived here. I was lucky, as the pub had just installed CCTV the day before & it was all on film. As I didn't die, unlike so many others both here in Australia & particularly in the UK, the Court was lenient with the t*rd & he got off lightly with a fine. Two days ago the ABC here in Oz ran a special on "one punch attacks" in the UK. It revealed that the numbers of such incidents are horrendous in the UK & so, just like here in Australia, the UK govt. has enacted legislation giving severe penalties for one-punch attacks that result in the death or disability of the victim. The number of deaths from "one punch" attacks in the UK in recent years is appalling. Like others have said, if I got violent when I drank beer, I'd quit drinking.

Funnily enough, the first lass I ever 'bar-fined' in LOS was a lovely Philipina in Pattaya in 1987. I was on the way to a two year posting in Greece of all places - it was suggested by a mate that I may wish to stopover in LOS, as my chances of finding 'love' would be slim in Greece. Back then I couldn't speak a word of Thai & was shocked when a b/g spoke better English than most squaddies. Doubt she was a serious church-goer though. Even weirder, Greece is listed as a "hardship" posting & Officers were given a fully paid return ticket to 'anywhere' every six months, in return for putting up with such "hardship'. No prizes for guessing where I chose to get over the "hardship"....

Lacessit hit the nail on the head. As I've said before, after I got throat cancer we left Chiang Mai (and LOS) for good in 2013. We built our house from scratch in Saraphi in 2008 & it had all the 'bells & whistles' and then some - multiple aircons, two fully-equipped kitchens (both Thai & farang), 3M satellite dish with umpteen channels etc but no pool, as I didn't want to be a slave to one (they need contact maintenance). Big 2 rai block with huge attached lumyai (longan) orchard bringing in good $ each year too. Far and away the flashest house I'm ever likely to own. We started asking for 4 mill (yes, it was not a giant kings' palace like the poster has here) but eventually settled for less than half that amount, in order to GTFO. People who are prepared to spend 22 million baht want a new house of their own design. Mine was like new, but it literally took over a year to even get a serious bite and, they beat us down. Sort of "as soon as they know a farang is selling, they sense a 'fire sale' - but good luck anyway - the Chinese are so cashed up, they have bought 2/3 of Australia by now ....

When we moved back to Oz I wished I had a couple of these mozzie zappers, but assumed they would be illegal here so didn't put any in our cargo. Imagine my shock (no pun intended) when I was waiting for the wife to finish her free English class at the local TAFE and I walked in to one of those cheapo shops with stuff from China, that was opposite the TAFE. First thing I saw near the door was a box those tennis-racquet-like devices, just as we had in Chiang Mai. I bought three, at $3 AUD (75 baht) each. They must not have passed customs - which doesn't surprise me. I got issue one of those 'warning notices' for "a military helmet with kevlar liner" found in our shipment. It was a 1965 Vietnam War era US helmet I bought in Udon. The liner is fibreglass - kevlar wasn't even invented back then. The idiots in Customs stole it from me, fullstop. They haven't got a clue. Many of my friends have had totally innocuous items confiscated. They can only search about one in thirty containers coming in and, Oz is awash with unsafe illegal cheap Chinese stuff, like the cap-guns I bought in the same shop. I use them to keep the crows off the veggie garden. Anyone wanting to buy a mozzie zapper in OZ, just ask your nearest big Asian food store. I've since seen them there too, but at $5 each. They had boxes of 'em. Whether they are legal though is another question....

I predict they will rue this decision - New Zealand surely did. They allowed Thais to enter NZ visa-free for three months back in the 1990's, with the end result being many thousands of Thai illegal over-stayers, who no doubt fell in love with the clean air in NZ and the easy ability to get a cash job. Kiwi's got a reciprocal deal from Thailand at the time - enter with no visa. New Zealand woke up & went back to making Thais apply for a visa and of course, Thailand responded to that decision by doing the same thing to NZ passport holders.

From his name & appearance, I doubt that this supposed 'Aussie' was born in Australia. Most likely, he's one of our more recent 'quality' imports, maybe from the Pacific islands area, who has picked up our lingo. Been a few neanderthals like this bloke in the evening news here lately, mostly for violence, with alcohol usually a factor.

As I've reported many times on here, I moved my Thai family to Australia in 2013 after I was diagnosed with laryngeal cancer from 20+ years of breathing Chiang Mai's foul air - I am a non-smoker. The ENT specialist who treated me back then told me that I was the fifth or sixth non-smoking patient he had seen with similar T1 (treatable) throat cancer and ALL had spent a long time in CM. On my final ten year check-up last year, he told me that the number of patients he had seen with similar cancers had now risen to about twenty & all had lived for a long time in LOS. The good news is I don't have to see the specialist again, as ten years after radiation therapy I am cancer free. Any ideas I had of being an opera singer are gone too as I now cough like an old Welsh coal-miner, a side-effect of having my tonsils barbequed. I pity all those Thai children having to suffer, growing up breathing CM air-pollution. The future is bleak, as it only gets worse every year.

For the uninformed, I assume you are referring to the old 21 Division Vice Squad in Sydney, historically some of the most corrupt & violent cops ever to wear a uniform - most local police in LOS are complete nuns by comparison.

Can't say the same thing about Chiang Mai re curtain hotels. In the 1990's - early 2000's there were dozens of curtained love hotels in the north. I especially liked the old Red Rose Hotel ? in Chiang Rai with its' themed rooms, right next to the abandoned Vietnam War era airport runway - I believe it has since been demolished. Went looking for some of my old haunts when in CM last August - the biggest & best of the old 'love hotels' in Santitam CM apparently went broke during covid, so now the owner rents the rooms there by the month, not the hour. Place was full of tuk-tuk drivers, Burmese workers & girlfriends etc. Must be different in your neck of the woods, because the north was literally a ghost town last year. As you say though, most tourists would not have a clue about the existence of such places, as they are mostly intended for use by 'locals'.