HB2010

I think you may well have answered your own question.

There's already a lot of good advice/commentary on the long preceding thread.

Initialy getting himself to England, the cost of visa, airfare, getting established, is way way beyond the means of the average Thai (meaning average income). This is not just three months savings.

Hopefully also you have become aware that he may well be under strong family pressure to produce money. 90% of Thais you or I will meet MUST send money home, MUST occasionally present some gold, etc. This is normal and is a strong part of the way society works in this country.

Hopefully also you have educated youself in terms of how differently Thais think about everything in life. The way you or I analyse a situation is totally different to the way Thais analyse things. He is quite likely thinking about this whole sitatuation in a quite different way to whaich you are thinking about it.

Have you carefully tried to discuss/understand him current thinking, his motives for being in England, how he sees the near future etc? How/where he sees you in all of this?

Take care...

become , a

hi pal

m getting a bit worry for u as him working in uk that mean the chance of him knowing a farang there is higher cuz now he is the special one( more farang less asian)that get to choose and pick who he wanna be with and with so many farang to choose from it might be a bit too difficult to resist the tempation after sometime ....

and btw what he work as in uk and how he get the job since u say he is not very good in his english , did he get help from someone that

sponor him there that he dont wanna u to know

hope i m wrong

there has been great advice, comments and i appreciate all of it.

he saved money for several years, about half and i loaned him the remainder he needed to work overseas. his desire is to quickly pay off the family debt before we live together. in my eyes, the debt isn't much but he feels its his obligation to pay it off on his own. to me that shows alot of character.

as far as trusting him while he's in england, i have no choice but to trust him. i know he loves me very much and has proved that to me for a long time. he calls every day, sends me sweet cards and letters and so on. we'll be together in december for 2 months and i'm sure we'll discuss more of our future plans; every month we talk about our future. communication is so important in any relationship. thanks again for your comments.

i want to give everyone who posted comments to my original question, "i need some advice", my recent experinces with my bf and an update. just got back home in the usa after spending 3 1/2 weeks in bangkok, phuket, pattaya. had a good time and my 3rd trip to thailand in 3 years. spent every day with my bf and got to know him better and vice versa and i'm so glad i took this trip. we're in love more now than ever.

i did make some decisions after the trip; for one, i really do need to just retire ( not into the teaching thing ) and spend a couple of months back home each year to be with family and friends. some time away from each other makes the heart grow fonder and make my transition to thai life gradual. second, ruled out living in bkk, phuket, and pattaya! nice to visit, but. one purpose of this trip was to find a place that i'd want to live. it has to be close to water, not too touristy, and somewhere that i can meet some english speaking people. maybe hau hin would be good.

i met his parents, and his close friends. meeting his parents was interesting. i know i had a great time that evening on the dinner cruise, not sure if they did considering they can't speak a word of english. speaking of that, if there's one problem that might interfere with our relationship, its trying to understand his english. he trys hard, but sometimes i have a real hard time understanding what he's trying to tell me. since i'll have all this free time whereever we live, i'll need to take some thai language lessions.

let me ask this, is there anyone out there that has a thai bf in thailand, but lives part of the year elsewhere? maybe you can share some advice?

thanks!

here's another update from the one dated back in january. since then, my bf decided he needed to earn more money for his family, and its always about the family, got a job in the UK making some decent money. i spent i few days with him in may and had a great time in london. i decided not to move later this year and instead put that decision off until late 2008. i need more time in thailand and not just the 2 or 3 week vacation types, but rather this year i'll spend 2 months there. that'll be my 4th visit to thailand. we'll both be together those 2 months and hopefully explore more of thailand. he'll go back to the UK early next year and work through 2008. i find it very interesting that he wants to pay off his family debt by himself, even though the amount isn't much and i was more than willing to loan it, so that we can live together somewhere in thailand without worrying about his families debt. it's not going to be easy living apart next year, but in the end i'm sure it'll all be worth it.

Not sure if this should be a separate topic, but I need some advice. Can I survive living in Thailand, in a middle class way ( I'm from the USA), with 4.1M baht in a savings account paying 5.05%? I would be paying monthly, just for an apartment and my Thai partner is wanting to pay our utilities, internet, food each month from his salary. We might be living in Hua Hin. He will be sending to his mother on a monthly basis a part of his salary. I also receive from a trust, dividends paying 40,000 Baht quarterly and I'll receive another 4.1M Baht in 4 years. I'm over 50, so I can't get a job. Any advice? Thanks!

Yes, as others said, that sounds fine. You should have plenty of money if you live like an average person.

As for being over 50, you can work in Thailand if you get a job, work permit, and non-B immigrant visa. Nothing says you can't. You might want to try some teaching for a year if you get bored.

Thanks for all your advice/suggestions! I plan on renting for a long time. I've had the big homes and paid the huge property taxes and no more. I've sold most of my furniture, paintings, stuff I really had no use for. It boils down to people; familly and friends and not material stuff. I'll live like an average guy as I have this past year. It feels good!

As for working, I'll be on a retirement visa, not into those visa runs, so I can't get a work permit. Although, it would be nice to do something part time and getting paid. Some play money!

We will both save each month for those weekend snorkeling trips.

Thanks again for the advice.

Not sure if this should be a separate topic, but I need some advice. Can I survive living in Thailand, in a middle class way ( I'm from the USA), with 4.1M baht in a savings account paying 5.05%? I would be paying monthly, just for an apartment and my Thai partner is wanting to pay our utilities, internet, food each month from his salary. We might be living in Hua Hin. He will be sending to his mother on a monthly basis a part of his salary. I also receive from a trust, dividends paying 40,000 Baht quarterly and I'll receive another 4.1M Baht in 4 years. I'm over 50, so I can't get a job. Any advice? Thanks!

I'll be acquiring a Retirement Visa from the USA this September, but I'm confused about the monies required. According to the Thai Consulate in Texas, I need to send to them a copy of a bank statement showing a deposit at the amount equal to no less than 800,000 Baht. That's no problem, since I have over 3M Baht in a HSBC account. I also need to send to the Consulate a letter of guarantee from the bank. Is this correct? Once I move to Thailand, do I need to deposit 800,000 Baht in a Thai bank? Also, what are the steps needed to stay once my 1st year in Thailand is completed? Thanks!

I'm planning to do the same thing in September. As such I've been doing a lot of reading on this site about it. Here is a link to the specific details on how it works, from this site. http://www.thaivisa.com/318.0.html

Where are you going to retire to? I'm planning on Chumphon.

Brian

Hi Brian,

The Thai Consulate in Houston, Texas has all the forms and answers to most of the questions concerning the Retirement Visa. The cost, btw, is $125/multiple entry.

I plan on living in Hua Hin. That way I can travel to Krabi, Phuket and south pretty easy. I love the water.

Take care

I'll be acquiring a Retirement Visa from the USA this September, but I'm confused about the monies required. According to the Thai Consulate in Texas, I need to send to them a copy of a bank statement showing a deposit at the amount equal to no less than 800,000 Baht. That's no problem, since I have over 3M Baht in a HSBC account. I also need to send to the Consulate a letter of guarantee from the bank. Is this correct? Once I move to Thailand, do I need to deposit 800,000 Baht in a Thai bank? Also, what are the steps needed to stay once my 1st year in Thailand is completed? Thanks!

need advice on where to rent, at least 12 months, a fairly new constructed apartment building or condo? i won't have a car so i'd need something close to shopping. 1 bedroom with some kind of view. 20,000 baht upwards per month payment. any ideas???

i want to give everyone who posted comments to my original question, "i need some advice", my recent experinces with my bf and an update. just got back home in the usa after spending 3 1/2 weeks in bangkok, phuket, pattaya. had a good time and my 3rd trip to thailand in 3 years. spent every day with my bf and got to know him better and vice versa and i'm so glad i took this trip. we're in love more now than ever.

i did make some decisions after the trip; for one, i really do need to just retire ( not into the teaching thing ) and spend a couple of months back home each year to be with family and friends. some time away from each other makes the heart grow fonder and make my transition to thai life gradual. second, ruled out living in bkk, phuket, and pattaya! nice to visit, but. one purpose of this trip was to find a place that i'd want to live. it has to be close to water, not too touristy, and somewhere that i can meet some english speaking people. maybe hau hin would be good.

i met his parents, and his close friends. meeting his parents was interesting. i know i had a great time that evening on the dinner cruise, not sure if they did considering they can't speak a word of english. speaking of that, if there's one problem that might interfere with our relationship, its trying to understand his english. he trys hard, but sometimes i have a real hard time understanding what he's trying to tell me. since i'll have all this free time whereever we live, i'll need to take some thai language lessions.

let me ask this, is there anyone out there that has a thai bf in thailand, but lives part of the year elsewhere? maybe you can share some advice?

thanks!

Of course, T&T is not an advertiser/sponsor on ThaiVisa; the SEE program is our sponsor here. But I've been trying for days now to even reach the T&T website, and my incredibly slow, snail-buffalo-modem can't reach it.

I was on their web site today and it was working. www.teflteachthai.com

Hi all,

I am going/coming (depending on where you are reading this!) to Thailand in Feb. I am enrolled on a TEFL course in Thailand which starts 12th March, I intend to start teaching as soon as possible once the course has finished.

My question is regarding tax. How does it work in Thailand? Once I start paying tax am I entitled to free medical services like here in the UK or doesn't Thailand's medical services work the same way? I am thinking of purchasing a couple of months worth of travel insurance and then once I get a teaching job (touch wood) I will start paying tax and won't need the travel insurance cover. And when I start renting somewhere I guess I will get insurance cover for my belongings.

Is that a decent plan or a stupid one?!

Thanks

hi "billfo",

are you enrolled in the "text and talk" course in bangkok? if you are, so am i. starts march 12th ends april 24th.

take care

Anyone have comments or lived at these apartments, Sawasdee Place and/or The Delicate? Would appreciate any feedback. Thanks!

Manohra Cruises, Bangkok Marriott Resort & Spa

Loy Nava Dinner Cruises

I took some friends on the Manohra cruise when they swung by Bangkok earlier this year. I can recommend it. I just popped into the Marriott hotel on sukhumvit road and booked it there.

thanks for your suggestions. the loy nava dinner cruise looks like a winner. thanks again!

any advice on a nice dinner cruise for 5 adults. prefer something less noisy and great thai food. thanks!

not sure if this lube is silicon based, but i swear by this brand called " ID Glide". i love what they say on the back label> " rigorously tested to ensure purity and safety"! love to be one of their testers! anyway, its water based, water soluble, unflavored, non-staining and fragrance free. it's kinda expensive, but it does the trick!

thanks boybrat for your comments!

"a trip to a nice spa,( PLANNED ) a great dinner, ( CONFIRMED ) a tiffany silver ring, ( BOUGHT )etc. now ALL the guys i know scream in delight when they see that one of their presents is a white be-ribboned blue box. be still my heart! thats why i give my very close friends tiffany and co presents.. "

since i don't live in bangkok, yet....i just wanted to surprise my bf at his office at that time. indeed, it worked. the spa, dinner, ring.....all will be given to him this december.

thanks!

o gawd, a present OVERLOAD, no? just pick ONE. or else he will erxpect it from u all tht time.

either a spa, OR a dinner OR a ring. all 3 and its an overkill. you now appear too ready to impress. u now look like you're trying too hard...

now before i go on... what has he given YOU?

hi,

i never thought of this as being an "overkill". it's just something i want to do and i have the monies to do it. plus, it's fun to give gifts. i'm not out to impress anyone, certainly not my bf. i don't need to. "what has he given me"?........in january he bought several lunches, quite a few dinners, boat trips while in krabi, couple of movies, little things that i needed from the mini-mart.......all little things that you might think are trivial as far as worth, but to me, its the thought that counts and since he is living on a limited budget, everything he has given me i deeply appreciate.

thanks boybrat for your comments!

"a trip to a nice spa,( PLANNED ) a great dinner, ( CONFIRMED ) a tiffany silver ring, ( BOUGHT )etc. now ALL the guys i know scream in delight when they see that one of their presents is a white be-ribboned blue box. be still my heart! thats why i give my very close friends tiffany and co presents.. "

since i don't live in bangkok, yet....i just wanted to surprise my bf at his office at that time. indeed, it worked. the spa, dinner, ring.....all will be given to him this december.

thanks!

thanks "trouble" and "boonkan" for your comments. much appreciated. it's been awhile since i originally wrote this posting, so i guess i need to give you an update on my relationship. we're still emailing, still calling each other, still chatting on the cam......just about every day. not bad for a long distance romance and it's been almost 7 months since we last saw each other. hopefully i can hold out for another 3 months till we meet on december 24th. i don't have the best patience, but i have no choice. i'm in love and i know in my heart my bf loves me.

i have been reading as much as i can about thai culture, the country, the people, thai/farang gay relationships. i'm reading, thinking, more thinking, more reading about this whole thai/farang relationship and i've come to this conclusion. this was said by someone at the very beginning....i have to follow my heart. its that simple. sometimes you have to take a chance.

there's a 25 year age difference, so what. if one looks, acts, performs in bed like a 2 year age difference, thats me. its all about attitude, personality, sense of humor and have an open mind. i'd much rather be with my younger friends, than my older ones. my old friends are no fun! and to be honest, i'm more attracted to younger guys. there has to be a "spark" somewhere, if not, the relationship is doomed.

right now all i can say is that i'm moving come march 1st. maybe something might change that after my 3 week vacation with my bf, but i have this feeling i'll be living in bkk.

as far as "how will i survive here". "how will you arrange your visa". "how will you cope with daily thai life"........hel_l, i don't know! well, the visa thing i know, but the other 2......i'll take it one day at a time when i get there. one thing i hope to have is an american friend that i can hang out with. that would be so nice.

i have to tell you this. i sent my bf a basket of fresh flowers with a white teddy bear to his office. he went nuts......but his co-workers, mostly women......all want to meet me in december. is this some thai thing?? ah well.

once again, thanks for your comments!! take care.

Like I as on the topic. How do you meet "Mr.Right"?

I know there are many gay dating website on the internet. But are they trustable? Don't wanna make trouble but I just suspicious. Please share with me if you ever date a guy from website (do they look like what they said on profile?).

Many thanks, (I'm not ganna go wild dating or searching for Mr. Right but I would like to learn from you.)

hi! i met my "mr. right" in a chat room on gay.com. i was lucky, i happened to be on that day at the right time. call it fate. i made it very clear from my bio, that i was looking for only a friend and no sex. my profile is current with a current, decent photo ( if someone's photo is only of his c**k, bu**, or any other nud_e body part and no face pic, move on!) . no need to lie, because they'll eventually find out the truth when you do meet. finding "mr. right" in a chat room is almost impossible. most are looking for sex that night. but, it is just 1 way of being proactive in meeting someone. we chatted that day for an hour and not once was sex mentioned. make a long story short, we met later that year and we're still chatting/phoning almost every day. if you're a good judge of character, you'll know soon enough if you want to meet that person. good luck! :-)

i think most members here are farang. i would like to learn about farang nature. especially gay farang. i'm thai... never been to europ or america or australia. what's character of gay farang? let's open mind talk.

i would like to know that

a. gay farang romantic, sweet, good behaviors etc.?

b. someone told me that when farang give love or commitment to lover. they will stick that that. is that true? or just same as another straight people.

c. if i want to date with farang, what should i learn about? i can speak English and little bit Espanol

d. if farang in my dream decided to be my soulmate, what should i do? will it have a problem?

e. how did i know that farang i date with serious about relationship? do you have any idea?

thank you forward for all comment.

hi espada!

i'll try to answer one or more of your questions. you were kind enough to comment on my posting, so let me try to give you my opinions. mind you, their mine. take it for what its worth.

i'm a farang. i'm really not that comfortable with that word, but i guess i have no choice since i'll be moving to bangkok next year. i'm from columbus, ohio usa. very midwestern state, very conservative and happens to be a very gay city. i have lots of gay friends. some are happy being single, some are in happy and healthy relationships and a couple are just content with sucking **** and nothing more. they have no desire to be in a relationship. all my friends are different in their lifestyles, but their my friends and i'm blessed to have them. i have to be honest, i think alot of gay "westerners" are not monogamous in their relationships. they don't take gay relationships serious. i know several that keep waiting for that "perfect" guy to come into their life. one has waited 20 years. they want that "perfect" body, "perfect" ****, "perfect" personality. that "perfect" person doesn't exist! so sad to spend your life looking for that "perfect" guy.

columbus, ohio doesn't have many asians. i happen to be attracted to asians. i find them very sexy physically, but more important, i love the cultural and spiritual aspect of asians. i feel you have a strong commitment to a relationship and a strong desire to be with your lover through good times and bad. your not "hung up" on outward appearances. thats cool.

back to your first question. are farang's sweet, romantic. of course. especially the first few months of dating, but who isn't. don't we all want to show our bf the good things about us at the beginning? i told my bf, if we can make it the first year together, we'll be together forever. well, at least from my viewpoint. heck, my last relationship lasted 15 years...in "straight years", that's 50 years! every week for 15 years i gave him flowers. every week. but, i'm a romantic and thats MY personality.

i hope you can date a farang. try it, but just be yourself. don't ever change whats inside of you. afterall, its ALL about the heart and soul.

i hope i made some sense. i wish you all my best! :-)

quote

we have agreed that the most important thing WE can do to make this relationship work, is communicate. communicate, communicate.

end quote

well good luck to you ........ that is Western thinking (wishful thinking?) ....... you may learn about the condition known as "TS" -- Thai Silence. That is a challenge!

Absolutely Right!!! :D but Thai Silence doesn't mean "don't bother me" but they may thinking what to say or do. be patient. you can love him as much as you can do but human nature will keep small private space for themself too. they may want to do think alone. whaterver, communicate is still great to carry on relationship. think like this "love him as much as you love yourself, be a giver and taker not only taker or only giver"

did you sick of my comment? i'm sound like my granma.

thanks grandma espada for your comments!! :-) never sick of anyone's constructive comments. much appreciated. i know about "TS". i've already experienced it from my bf. i think alot of TS has to do with him trying to understand my english, plus i talk really fast so i need to be patient. he puts his hand on my face, turns my head so we look into each ohers eyes and asks me to repeat or talk slowly. hey, i'll do the same to him when i begin to learn to speak thai. thanks again for your comments! :-)

hello,

first let me say, i'm from the usa and traveled to thailand twice in 2 years. late last year i met a young thai via the gay.com site. chatted for months before we met in january of this year. side note here, the first time we chatted on gay.com, not 1 thing was mentioned about sex or how big is your cock! okay, we spent 2 fantastic weeks together. laughing, talking, kidding, tickling, swimming, dancing, eating and of course, making love ( no sex, just making love, big difference!) i'm coming back this december for 3 weeks. i love this guy. and he loves me. i also like ( not in love though) thailand. i have the financial opportunity to move there. i'll get a job, but i can afford to make the move. my question, am i moving for the "Right" reason(s)?? i feel afterall, you only live once, so make the best of it!

i'd appreciate any response. thank you!

i'm glad that we have another sweet gay people in this stink world. sorry, if i'm act rude. first i'm Thail and i would you like to share. warning: when you going on a date with guy(everything seem to be perfect, no no no i really mean by that) because people will show very respectful, kind, love, romantic (on and on and on etc.) so... you better do serious as ; open mind talk (if you don't you will regret later, trust me) then if you really follow your heart by left everything behind this is the possible thing will happend to you

step 1 : relationship testing (3 months in hel_l and heaven) jealous, madness, anger, sad, wild love etc. if you pass your relationship will get stronger but if you lose. no way to turn back because you already made you decision.

step 2: one love only (no Gig "slang in Thai mean affairs) no matter what happend go back to "Open mind talk" again the more often the more longer relationship can go.

step 3:after 3 months from step 1 you will be very comfortable with your man (i'm not warranty but i'm telling you by experience).

am i too serious? as you said, one live to live. follow you heart. good luck to you.

i want to thank you, espada and others again for all your advice. believe me, i've read and reread everything that's been written here. this relationship i'm in, even though its long distance now, has a long ways to go. you really don't know a person until you live with him or her. i know that. i've been in 3 relationships, the last one lasted 15 years. but, this one is different. this one is from another culture and country. yes, i'm cautious, who wouldn't be! we have agreed that the most important thing WE can do to make this relationship work, is communicate. communicate, communicate. as far as being monogamous, thats a given and been discussed and discussed. espada, your not being too serious, np. and your right, i have to follow my heart. if i get hurt, so be it, i'm a big boy and life goes on. but i have to try......i don't want to look back 10 years from now and say i should have done this or that. thats no way to live. once again, thank you for your kind words!

hello,

first let me say, i'm from the usa and traveled to thailand twice in 2 years. late last year i met a young thai via the gay.com site. chatted for months before we met in january of this year. side note here, the first time we chatted on gay.com, not 1 thing was mentioned about sex or how big is your cock! okay, we spent 2 fantastic weeks together. laughing, talking, kidding, tickling, swimming, dancing, eating and of course, making love ( no sex, just making love, big difference!) i'm coming back this december for 3 weeks. i love this guy. and he loves me. i also like ( not in love though) thailand. i have the financial opportunity to move there. i'll get a job, but i can afford to make the move. my question, am i moving for the "Right" reason(s)?? i feel afterall, you only live once, so make the best of it!

i'd appreciate any response. thank you!

yesterday i had a basket of flowers and a cute teddy bear delivered to my boyfriends office. he couldn't believe someone could do this. he thought the name for the gift was someone else's name. no one had ever sent him flowers. he was so surprised and started crying when he read my attached note. i thought most thai's usually don't show graditude, but this one does! lots of thank you notes and phone calls! :-)

thanks for all your comments! all of you have been so helpful in how i should deal with my future in-laws. my b/f told his parents about the dinner boat cruise, here's what he wrote back to me:

"and I told them about our

boat dinner at the end of year. They are glad very much. They are glad and

hornoured that you 'd like us go. Thank you so much Jerry. Yesterday, I felt

to cry when I met them. I don't know why...hmmm....I told them I will pick up them at home

and take a taxi to go to the pier of that boat. I think it would be fun and

happy so much at that night. I hope you would be happy with us too. My

parents and I are just normal so we maybe not know about traditional on the

dinner table. And it's the first time for us will visit there. Would you

mind that? Jerry, they are grateful that you would like to meet them. but

they told me that they cannot communicate with you...hehehe...I told them

not to worry because I will be good translator and cutiest one for you and

them.....hehehe. Do you agree with me that I'm the cutiest translator"

i'm sure we'll have fun that evening. i'm also sure i'll be doing other things for them as time goes on, and hopefully in the right way. i think someone said here, "its better to give than receive". how true that is!

once again, thanks for your advice!

Hi All,

After a few years of floating around Thailand, I find myself with a both, a base in Bangkok and the Uk. I spend my time equally between the two, as I do love the contrast between east and west and am not at all sure I want to give either up permanently.

Life in Bangkok is good, I keep it simple and am blessed in having met a great guy to share my life with.

However, I do miss my friends and wondered if there are any mens groups in Bangkok that meet socially, like here in Uk? It would be great to meet up with other folk when in Thailand.

Well here's hoping, thanks for your time and have a great weekend.

Hi! Even though I'm not living in Bangkok yet, hopefully I will come next March, I'd love to have a place to go and meet friends from the USA or UK. I think for a healthy relationship it's good that I have my own friends and some "time out" from my boyfriend. Thanks and take care!