HB2010

Great story, Boo!

One other piece of advice I've been given- it may seem obvious- dress up very nicely. Remember how important appearance and "smartness" is. Think of how you'd expect a young man of the 50s in the U.S. to dress when being introduced to the woman's parents for the first time.

Thanks Boo and IJWT for the great advice! Now, can i hold my boyfriends hand when we're with his parents? I know I'm not allowed to kiss in public, stupid thing, but would like to at least hold his hand!

Thanks!

Thank you for all your ideas, suggestions and comments! I finally got my boyfriend to give me an idea on what I could do for the future In-laws. Why are Thai's so shy!! Or, maybe I'm just a pushy American! He suggested that we take them on a dinner boat cruise. That I like! Although, he insisted on paying, it's sweet of him, but no way will I let him. I'm sure the dinner boat cruise is something the parents would never spend their money on. Watch, my luck something will happen to boat that evening! :-)

Okay, I need some advice.....I'm meeting my future In-Laws this December. Should I bring them gifts, if so, what is appropriate? I'm so much in love with my Thai b/f, I just want to make sure I do the right thing. Being from the USA, I've always brought "something" when I have been invited to one's home. Is this true in Thailand? Any suggestions? Thanks! PS: I will be so nervous! :-)

You don't indicate where your future in-laws live or their economic status. In the absence of any more detailed information, my advice would be to..... BRING MONEY!!

The In-Laws live close to the current airport in Bangkok. They are poor. I've asked my b/f many times what I should bring or what the family would like and he keeps saying that all they want is to meet me and want nothing. But, I can't do that. I was thinking maybe I could take them; mother, father and younger brother, to a nice restaurant for dinner? Also, I have this nice delicate small gold bracelet that I thought his mother would like. My b/f is very close to his mother. Do Thai's like jewelry?

Okay, I need some advice.....I'm meeting my future In-Laws this December. Should I bring them gifts, if so, what is appropriate? I'm so much in love with my Thai b/f, I just want to make sure I do the right thing. Being from the USA, I've always brought "something" when I have been invited to one's home. Is this true in Thailand? Any suggestions? Thanks! PS: I will be so nervous! :-)

Hello,

I have accounts ( on-line banking ) opened at the HSBC Bank here in the USA. Can I use the Bangkok branch and access my monies when I move to BKK next year? If so, are their many HSBC ATM's in BKK ( I have a debit card )?

Thanks!

wise words and smoothly analyzed, as usual from ijustwannateach. not much left to add, as I agree with almost everything.... I think when a relationships starts, nobody wants it to be "open".... it just happens after a while..... to make an open relationship working , there must be 100% TRUST, and such thing needs time.... trust is like a young plant.... needs a lot of care and attention, and can easily be destroyed.... as for me, I didnt have an open relationship yet, and I doubt I could get along with that..... but who knows, maybe one sees things more relaxed after a few years in a relationship.... so, never say never..... but I think its even more difficult to have an open relationship with an Asian, as an Asian (and THAI in particular) usually will not tell you what is inside his heart..... no matter how much u encourage him to be open and frank....

i have to say that i love this web site, especially this forum. seems i'm reading some post every day. you have me worried "AsiaWolfie". i know it's early in my realtionship with my thai b/f, but i wasn't aware that thai's, in particular, don't open their hearts and express their feelings. i do and so far, he has as well. could this be one of those "cultural things" that i have to worry about? for a successful relationship to work; one has to be honest, trusting and above all, communicate....and communicate....and communicate. an "open" relationship is not for me, but i'm sure it's cool for others; i'd be so zealous ( it's a terrible emotion ). i want this relationship to work and i know i have to compromise. probably alot, but it's okay. anyway, thanks and take care!

my b/f wants to take me to eastern thailand this december to explore that part of the country. cities named: chon buri, rayong, chantaburi, trat. i know this doesn't pertain to my original posting, but has anyone been to these cities? is it very rural? would there be any teaching opportunities? any comments? thanks!

i want to thank all of you who have responded to this posting. all of you have given me good advice and for that, i thank you!

regards!

Worthy of note ...

The places I go arre VERY sticky ... I go to hang out and relax ... do some drinking .. practice my Thai around average gay Thai folks ...

If I get an extra benefit COOL .. but I never touch first and am always polite

what do you mean by..."very sticky"? i assume you're single, so what do you mean by "extra benefit"? thanks.

i know it's a drastic change from living in a small midwestern town in the usa, but how does one really know a city until he moves there.

Down the road, if Bangkok doesn't agree with you, and your b/f is willing to relocate, consider upcountry. Here in Isaan (NE Thailand), small town/country living is a dead ringer for the American mid-west. Same down-home values, human warmth, and laid-back life style. You'd love it.

Also, there are universities up there that would latch onto you right away with your background, and soon-to-be-earned teaching certificate. University salaries are about 1/3 less than Bangkok, but expenses are 1/4-1/3 the cost of Bangkok, too. (That adds up to raise from BKK economic conditions!)

Feel free to PM me if you ever get around to visiting up here and want to check out the opportunities. Would be happy to host you and your Thai partner for a few days.

thanks toptuan for the invitation. we just might take you up on that. so far, we've been to only krabi and in january we'll spend a few days checking out phuket. i want to explore all of thailand after i get settled in. isaan sounds great. how's the weather there? thanks again for your comment. take care. ps: the pm thing, thats difficult when we have a 11 hour time difference, but i'll try. thanks.

if you can take the time without working .....

Get here and rent a house/condo/apartment/room for 6 months ... (paying cash up front will usually get you about 20% break ... and a reduction in deposit. Take a week to settle in ...

Then start taking Thai classes for a few months ... your life in Thailand will be sooooooo much easier if you are not reliant on your Thai friend and on just being in farang places.

thanks JD. my thought now is to move during the 1st quarter of 2007, after selling my home and furniture and stuff. i'll keep some in storage here. spend about a month in some nice condo/apt. and then start my T&T course and i believe they also offer some thai classes. i do need to learn thai, thats a given. although, i'll tell ya......their words are sooooooo long. do they ever stop!! why not "smith" street or we have a street here, called "gay" street. ah well :-)

Well, Gabriel, maybe you're much luckier than I thought! It does seem like you found a good 'un.

In that case the points that other posters have raised are the most important:

1. How will you survive here?

2. How will you arrange your visa?

3. How will you cope with daily Thai life?

In my case, I had a group of friends working here who could show me directly how it was to work and live here- so I didn't only have the "tourist's-eye-view." Bangkok city life is very different from tourist beach life, which is once again very different from rural village life- and all of them are different viewed through a 1000B-a-day-spending-money working lens as opposed to a 5000B-a-day-spending-money tourist lens, as an example...

If you have the right kind of skills and there is local demand, you can do very well indeed in business. Teaching is more iffy, but it can be done. And eventually if you are successful at either the visas will take care of themselves. But all of these things are really topics for other sections of this forum.

Good luck.

wow......"Ijustwannateach", you certainly give good advice and ask good questions. thank you. i'm a survivor and a pretty strong willed person. i want this relationship to not only work, but survive the the rocky road( life is not perfect) forever. i believe in relationships, my last one lasted 15 years. "how will i cope with daily thai life", well, i'll just jump in and see where it leads me. and i'll probably always get lost and frustrated, but hey, that happens to me here!! hehehe...sometimes i think too much about all this. ah well, thanks again for your comments!

I have to agree with JD. If you don't really like the place you could be asking for trouble and even if you love the place it can be a very difficult / frustrating place for a westerner to live. But again if you don't try how will you ever know?

I had been here 4 times on holiday before I finally moved and for me living here was completely different. After 6 months I had had enough but I changed my expectations and started accepting life as it is here and not as it is in the UK and things started to change for me.

yes, i agree and this is giving me some troubles. 1 reason why i'm coming back for 3 weeks this december and i told my b/f that i need to see this city not as a tourist, is to make sure i'll be happy and somewhat comfortable living here. i know it's a drastic change from living in a small midwestern town in the usa, but how does one really know a city until he moves there. i have to come here with the Right Attitude. it's all about attitude. i keep reminding me of this all the time. i guess if i can find just 1 good western gay friend, that i can trust and confide in, that would really help. someone i can talk to and get advice. and of course, have some fun with.

• my b/f only took 4 days off from work to be with me in krabi last january
  
• he paid his own way
  
• he went to work while you were back in Bangkok
  
• You called to verify work
  
• has been at if for 4 years
  

I concur, all very strong indications you have a winner. I think you have a very healthy mix of optimism and caution. And, you're giving it time. Did you say what you might do (for work) when you get here? (is that for forum knowledge?).

thanks for your comments! i'm trying very hard now to ask my b/f the right questions and he's asking me questions as well. he doesn't want me to move here and find that i'm unhappy. i've managed to save some money over the years and i have zero debt. i have a degree in marketing/business and will take a "Text and Talk Academy" course to get my certificate to teach english when i move here. hopefully, with some luck and hard work i'll get a teaching job.

It sounds like you have met a "better quality" type of Thai guy than is more typical for a first time visitor to Thailand, who, lets face it, usually meets a bar worker or stealth prostitute. So, a good start for you anyway, enjoy your adventure!

Thanks! its all about the heart and mind. i just need to buckle up for this adventure!

Gabriel,

I don't mean to shock you, but it would also be reasonable advice not to take what your guy says about his life for granted until you've actually seen him in his office/workplace. It's fairly common for a CERTAIN SECTOR of Thais who date foreigners to make up things about their lives on the assumption you'll never know the difference.

In one case, I got set up on a blind date with a guy who said he worked for a Japanese company (with Japanese bosses). Unfortunately for him, I knew Japanese and could easily discern he knew not a word; furthermore, he responded badly to my "poison pill" routine: "oh, yes, I only make 20,000B a month teaching English to little Prathom students off in Noburi, but I really like Thai food, why don't you come visit" - never heard from him again until the guy who set me up forwarded what might be called "compromising" photos he'd found on the Internet.

Of course, you may have lucked out and found a sincere guy on the Internet from abroad who could manage to get a two-week vacation with you [it's typical for an employee to get one day off a week, with no other holiday except for emergencies]- some people do- though as Thaiquila says, your chances are small. Again, my best advice for you is to maintain a healthy skepticism until things he tells you get confirmed, again and again and again.

Of course, chances are you won't take any of this advice- I didn't want to hear these kinds of things when I was a newbie here. It's easy to stay in denial.

Good luck, indeed.

hi,

thank for your comments. and no, you didn't "shock me". i appreciate your candor. first, let me explain that my b/f only took 4 days off from work to be with me in krabi last january. and by the way, he paid his own way down there. i wanted to see if he really was interested in seeing me and i never offered to pay his way. the rest of the time, we spent in bangkok and he worked every day. and second, i called his office and indeed he does work there. has for 4 years. i guess my nature is to be cautious. over cautious, thats why i've posted this question, to get other opinions. opinions that arn't "rose colored". btw, i do like your "poison pill" routine! you are good! :-)

i want to thank everybody for all your constructive comments. obviously i need to do more thinking and come september it'll be 1 year since i first met my b/f. we'll do more chatting and i won't make the move until after i come to thailand in december ( which i told him some time ago). that will give me 3 more weeks with him. he does want me to meet his family and talk face to face about me moving. once again, thank you for your comments. i need it.

What does your b/f do?

my b/f graduated from a university in bangkok several years ago and is in customer service for a large transportation company in bangkok.

Living in Thailand and your experience with your Thai guy are going to be entirely different experiences LIVING in Thailand versus being on VACATION in Thailand. My suggestion is before you make a rash move, visit Thailand on a longer term trial basis, for example, three months. Things should be a bit clearer after that.

And what kind of job do you think you can get in Thailand?

thanks thaiquila for your comments. i agree. afterall, you really don't know a person until you Live with him. and i think it takes longer then 3 months. a year is better. i can always move back to the usa. teaching job eventually.

hello,

first let me say, i'm from the usa and traveled to thailand twice in 2 years. late last year i met a young thai via the gay.com site. chatted for months before we met in january of this year. side note here, the first time we chatted on gay.com, not 1 thing was mentioned about sex or how big is your cock! okay, we spent 2 fantastic weeks together. laughing, talking, kidding, tickling, swimming, dancing, eating and of course, making love ( no sex, just making love, big difference!) i'm coming back this december for 3 weeks. i love this guy. and he loves me. i also like ( not in love though) thailand. i have the financial opportunity to move there. i'll get a job, but i can afford to make the move. my question, am i moving for the "Right" reason(s)?? i feel afterall, you only live once, so make the best of it!

i'd appreciate any response. thank you!

My question to all of you, can you suggest a good school in Bangkok so I can get my TEFL?

Is it a TEFL that you're after or would you consider a CELTA?

I'm not sure the difference between the two? Is one better than the other?

Well I recommend you AVOID the Tesol Course given at AUA Language Center and sponsored by the School for International Training in Vermont, USA. You would be better off just interviewing experienced and well regarded teachers and paying them 1000THB/hr to teach you what you need to know. And sitting in on several classes as an assistent would be invaluable too.

I have heard good things about Text and Talk; that it is very practical and worth while.

Thank you for your response! Yes, I have been reading good remarks about Text and Talk. I'll have to explore this company more.

Hello,

I would like to attend and receive my teaching certificate in Bangkok. I'm from Ohio, USA; 56 years old with a B.S. degree in Marketing/Business with over 30 years of outside sales experience. I have many years of speaking in front of 100's of people , but now I'm burned out with the sales quotas and the countless number of sales managers that I report to! I need a change; plus I've been visiting Thailand for 3 years and have fallen in love with a beautiful Thai man. My question to all of you, can you suggest a good school in Bangkok so I can get my TEFL? I believe from what I've been reading this is what I need?

Thank you for your time and I look forward to the responses.

Regards,

Jerry