ColeBOzbourne

I saw her up in the stands when I was playing baseball. I went straight up and said, "Buy yourself a dress and do something with that hair. We're getting married on Sunday. Don't be late!"

It was a loaded question.

Why not be dignified and proud? Loud gets attention, but not always positive attention. Loud is obnoxious.

Your average is 1.730353280461428 posts per day in case you were wondering.????

Read the fine print on the terms and conditions of the policy. It's probably right there.

Probably the same Europeans that bash Americans at every opportunity for giving tips for good service and to people who actually need the extra help.

Lower your expectations. Not always easy to do. A guy in my building has high expectations that he has the right to sleep until noon in pure, uninterrupted silence. If he hears a vacuum cleaner down the hall, or a hammer upstairs, he flies into a rage and gets his adrenaline pumping and goes to confront them. The next time it happens he gets even angrier until he's so worked-up that any little noise sets him off. It's like walking down the sidewalk here. Don't expect everyone to clear you a path, no obstacles, no motorcycles. Set your mind ahead of time that it's part of life here and try to come to terms with it. If possible, even relax and try to enjoy it. I spent a few years living in a motorhome and stayed in truck stops frequently. Trucks driving in and out, generators running all night, instead of fighting it, I laid there and enjoyed listening and it lulled me to sleep. But I realize everyone has limitations. Those stupid sound effects on Thai television yank my chain when I'm trying to sleep and I'll never come to peace with that.

Personally, I enjoy the sounds of roosters crowing no matter the time of night and how close they are. Peacocks, guineas, geckos, frogs too. Some of the many soothing sounds of nature that help me relax. The constant yipping and barking of dogs close by is another story, but I can block it out when needed. Getting yourself all worked-up about it is the bigger problem.

As with any weight loss thread, the Armchair Dieticians and Wanna-be Wellness Coaches come crawling out of the woodwork. Disregard their ridiculous and radical suggestions. My program is the one that works. I am a certified SAIC (Self-Certified Anonymous Internet Consultant) and have years of experience with OKKS (Obnoxious Keyboard Know-it-All Services). Follow these six easy steps. Trust me. I guarantee it. Step 1: When you weigh yourself, only put one foot on the scale. You will notice a rapid and dramatic improvement on day one. Trust me. Step 2: Stop wearing clothes in public. As you fly down the road on your scooter, or stroll through Lotus and Terminal-21, people will point and laugh at your soggy, droopy naked body. You will overhear snickering and comments like, “Look, he’s pregnant,” “His boobs are bigger than mine,” and “Oh, that’s gross!”. Humiliation is the fuel that fires motivation. This will keep you on track. Trust me. Step 3: Fasting. Prepare three enormous meals per day, anything you like. Pizza, pasta, bacon cheeseburgers, anything. Set the table, sit down, but don’t eat it. Just stare at it, and smell it. It feeds the soul, that’s why they call it soul food. Between meals you can look at snacks, and smell them. Follow that regiment daily forever. Drink only water, and only from an empty beer bottle. It gives the sensation that you’re enjoying a cold brew. You earned it! And stop breathing air. Breathe only helium. It counteracts the effects of gravity. This sounds difficult, but you can do it. Trust me. Step 4: If you find yourself craving food, leave your television on 24 hours/day tuned to either CNN or FOX News. It will curb your appetite. Should you happen to fall off the wagon and consume some food, don’t beat yourself up, just watch any interaction between Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo, the part where they say, “I love you Bro. I love you too Bro. Well, I love you MORE Bro. No Bro, I love YOU more. Kiss kiss hug hug” That will trigger strong gag reflexes and reverse peristalsis, promptly expelling the contents of your stomach. Trust me. Step 5: DIY Liposuction. It’s not rocket science. Easily done yourself in the comfort of your own home. You’ll need a sharp steel rod and a rubber hose. Insert, scrape, suck, spit, repeat. Detailed instructions are all on my website. Trust me. Step 6: DIY Amputations and Organ Removals. Four limbs are a luxury, not a necessity. Start with the weaker arm and leg. Your overall weight will decrease rapidly, and the added struggle of hobbling around on crutches will burn calories. Also, begin with non-vital organs. Since your not eating, 25 feet of those intestines can go. Use them for jump ropes. Get creative! One kidney, one lung, and one lobe of the liver is sufficient. Humans only use 10% of their brain. Many members of this forum get by with far less than that. The rest of that brain can go. You can do all this yourself at home. No problem. Job done. Note: complete your organ removals before lopping off that second arm. It’s easier than trying to hold a scalpel between your teeth. Don’t follow these other posters down a path that could decrease your quality of life or put you at risk of danger. You’ve seen my qualifications. My advice is the best. It’s all on my website. I guarantee that every part of my program is 100% guaranteed. Trust me.

The acronym now grows to 2SLGBTQQIA: Two-Spirit, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex and asexual. If you see this on a parking space in Germany, find another spot. Much like Handicapped Parking, now some places have designated "2SLGBTQQIA Parking Only". They call them "Diversity Spaces". Soon coming to a parking lot near you.

A business on the edge of town agreed to dispose of my remains for free. I can't remember the name of the company, Soylent Green or something like that.

So now you have confessed to stealing two wallets. The other was from a bathroom stall on your thread about 'fear of talking to other farang'. Just how many wallets have you stolen? A blackberry. Anything else you want to tell us? I lost a nice flashlight a few years ago. You know anything about that?

'Afraid' is the wrong word. It's more of an annoyance. I'm not afraid of mosquitos, but they are annoying when buzzing in my ear. Similar to the annoyance of some boring stranger droning on about himself. So I prefer to avoid them.

I like to sit in the pool when eating watermelon. That way the juice all over my face and running down my chest is not a bother.

But as you get older it seems to be different eg you don't really show as much hyper vigilance I guess you could say because your much wiser Yes, and made much wiser by experience. And not just in Thailand. I've traveled in many countries over the years and most, not all, of the time a stranger approaches me out of the blue and wants to start a conversation it turns out to be a negative situation. Not a big deal, just negative. He either wants something, or wants to talk my ear off about himself, or wants to brag about his accomplishments. In your OP you said this was all an 'urban fear myth'. Based on experience I don't agree with that. Also, I'm not naturally a social person and I prefer to keep to myself. If I want something I will approach the appropriate person. I don't want them to approach me.

An anonymous, (supposed) adult on the internet that resorts to condescension and name calling when he disagrees with other people's views. Yeah, you sound like the person everyone should follow. But then that would just be more compliance, wouldn't it?

My mother always told me, "Don't talk to strangers."

How much active protesting have you personally done against it? Just refusing to go along with it is barely even passive protesting...actually leaning towards sheepish.

Exactly what I'm wondering too. So far we have 'bad neighbor' and 'good neighbor'. Maybe 'bad neighbor' hides his drugs in 'good neighbor's' garden to keep himself safe from being arrested. Or bad-neighbor framed good-neighbor for purposes of revenge. Or...the drugs actually did belong to good-neighbor, which makes him NOT a good neighbor after all. Where are the keyboard detectives normally found here. From a single sentence they often figure out a poster's entire life before calling them an idiot, commanding them to pack their bags and return to their own country, and never let their DNA enter the human gene pool. It seems they should have solved this crime within the first five minutes of the OP.

Why was he arrested? Sounds to me like he just wanted to grow some yaba trees.

"The more I get to know my wife, the better I like my dog."