Douggie Style

your in a tough spot but things tend to work themselves out over time, at least you are handling it with some dignity and thought...

as a young single fellow working in remote areas, it shocked me that of all the hard working family guys, fly in fly out, the number of relationships that failed over time was 100%.....yeah 100%

it was completely tragic because undoubtably the guy was a rock solid type who thought only of his family.....from his perspective he was doing 'the right thing'

from this I concluded, rightly or wrongly, women need your time more than your money...they need someone around.....perhaps this is genetic or cultural or whatever

perhaps the fly in fly out is part, or maybe even the only problem here?

have you considered a long holiday with your family as a start? reconnect

i am sure she loves you (3 kids attest to that) but something must be missing from her side of the relationship ...there must be some driver to her actions

(PS non of the above excuses her behaviour but practically you have the relationship with her and the relationship with the whole family (the more important one to my mind and is it not possible to save that?))

good luck!

jeez....sorry guys my MIL is a sweetie...when we visit her once a year....

This is a very interesting thread as are all the posts...and a good background read to Thailand...was hoping for more posts....any more opinions on Sakdina out there??

Interestingly the system, in whatever influence it has, seems to break down in the Thai expat community...at least in Australia....although the symbolic aspects are still there...people of whatever level can suddenly find wealth and power through marriage or business and so on....I have met a few Thai in that category who don't seem to give a fig about the old ways.....which kind of suggests it really is just a culturally imposed peer system that only works in Thailand because of all the constant reinforcement....

i assume this is a foreign company operating in thailand and you also work in thailand

firstly you have to find out if the Thai jurisdiction applies....

i would assume it does..but check

then have a look at the Thai labour laws (there are many many posts ) and whatever written or implicit contract you had (eg work descriptions)....

have you been dudded....is there a ground(s)

then get an appointment with a thai labour lawyer

it may also be possible to get relief in either your home or their home country perhaps concurrently..however then you have to weigh up all the strategic and cost factors in each jurisdiction

i would think it cheaper and quicker to go via Thailand...

good luck

you strike me as vacillating ....perhaps after 9 years part of you finds it difficult to let go...you still speak with her..perhaps you think this is the decent thing to do but actually it is cruel...you are telegraphing you still want her..anyway that's how she will interpret it....

Next time she calls tell her plainly ' i don't love you any more'....repeat it profusely....unless she is completely unhinged it will sink in

..she needs to hear this to move on as well..you have to completely kill any illusions you still care for her ..it is the kindest thing to do to someone in the longer term as it helps them move on....

...btw she sounds dangerous, I suggest you totally disappear, perhaps to a nunnery

this is all i've got to say....

a child will always tell you if they don't like something or if something is going on...listen to it and take it seriously........

Slightly off topic..apologies

....a word of warning generally....after reading the generally positive reviews on Asia rooms, booked the Grand Mercure at Fortune town (yes it is a bit our of the way) and got doubled dipped on the old Mastercard at check in.

The hotel denied any responsibility, claiming there was no chit generated from their side which meant I had to cancel the card to get rid of the extra charge (the bank said if the hotel could find the chit they could fax through a reversal) ..so lost use of the card (an emergency card costs $100 although the bank waived that)

point being, you never know whose hands the card goes through in online bookings..and it can be a pain

the other thing was the Asia rooms website made the point no fees were to be charged in advance however the full amount was charged on check in.

The manager on site was very helpful and spent some hours late at night tracking it all down..he gave me a copy of an email from Asia rooms which confirmed that the full amount was to be paid in full however this bore no relation to the conditions communicated to me..ie quite a duplicate little arrangement from Asia rooms (yes I kept screen snapshots via scrapbook..check it out)

who is to blame will never be known but from the hotel response it seems it was Asia rooms

and would NOT recommend anyone use them

perhaps using a credit/debit card linked to another account is the way to book online...just transfer through the amount of the booking and pay the balance in cash on check out

again apologies for going off topic

PS: THe fortune hotel had an cheap online deal for 1800 bht per night and must say with the subway at the door would place it well above the Novotel at Siam square for quality of rooms

this is from some odd foreign film....

be extra nice to everyone in the street for a month or so

when you have set the scene and are everyones buddy get some garish fluorescent red paint

paint a rude thai word on a neighbors wall, one you get on well with....drip the paint very subtly back to the grannys garage

next day commiserate with the offended neighbor

repeat with different neighbors over the next few weeks

you also have to paint one of your wall at some point

eventually the only one left is the grannys

this is just for a laugh, in real life NOT recommended

A trick I used sometimes (travelling through desert floods and no chance of help) was to reverse through the flood, it works surprisingly well because it creates a lower water level at the bonnet end, just like a boat.

Once travelled 20kms through a flood with an old Kombi van, it was fantastic, the faster we went the lower the water was at the back...no problems until it started to float over a crossing which was pretty hairy with 6 in the back (one time obesity was helpfull)......

Usually the distributor cap/leads is the first to stop the motor, if it dies you need to carefully wipe the inside top of the cap and all the leads.

If you get water into the air outlet you usually have a problem..

Two things I see that limit foreigners chance of success at business here. 1) Many of their businesses are oriented to serve other foreigners or tourists only which may be only 1% -2% of the population. They limit their potential income alot with such a narrow customer base. 2) They do not own the land on which their business resides. --- While there are certainly examples of successful businesses that rent their spaces and still make money, personally I've never seen a business prospectus here that allows for sufficient income if rent costs or land purchase amotization costs are included . Better if you just own it already.

oh yeah, and you should probably be sufficient capitalized to run at a loss for 3-5 years.

A good point 1) lannarebirth

have to respectfully disagree with point 2. Generally speaking purchasing the land should be based on an analysis of the land itself solely as an investment

reasons include commercial land is generally of less 'quality' meaning less likely to appreciate than housing (that is a broad generalisation, there are many specific examples that disprove that and it is also based on assumptions), secondly you lose allowable business deductions, tie capital up in a very illiquid asset (part of the value which is tied to the business) and thus generally lose better opportunities.

Many people hold a dream of owning the business premises for reasons of control and that can be a valid reason but financially it is usually not the best move

http://www.krisdika.go.th/home.jsp

Thanks....another good site...can't seem to find the Revenue Code though..have to keep looking.

This link may give you a start http://www.bia.co.th/003.html

Thanks kindly Farma,

not a bad site...has some quite useful info....unfortunately need the actual law (as the primary source).

(perhaps I should change the title to panties and beer?)

Hi All,

Does anyone know where to download Thai law (english version)?

I am writing a paper and have been looking for the Thai Revenue code (which I thought had bookmarked before) but all the searchs lead to dead ends.

any info appreciated.

Thanks

Staring is a very powerful indicator of the level of sophistication to which a society has elevated itself. Staring is inversely proportional to civilisation. The biggest starers in the world are the French and the Chinese. The biggest non-staring country is Japan.

I rest my case.

:-)

Oh yes the Japanese are truly the benchmark of a civilized society.

Suggest before resting your case you research Japanese history this century, perhaps this is asking too much as Mum will need her computer back soon.

I thought I would relay this story for the opinions of the wise “sages” on this forum & compare their advice to my own reactions to this. My current “darling” of some 6 months acquaintance is a 3rd year student nurse at a college about a 1.5 hr bus ride from where I live. Normally, she has come to visit me on the weekends & things had been progressing along rather well. Recently, she was assigned to work/study in another rural area further away. She live in a sort of dormitory close to the clinic, with several other nurses to a room. Two weeks ago, I had to go to BKK to renew my visa & was gone during the week. She was due to visit me on the weekend upon my return. However, on Friday evening we got in an argument on the phone & she hung up unexpectedly & shut off her phone. I was not able to reconnect to her until Saturday afternoon after I had to call one of her girlfriends to contact her via her Mother. The reason for all this was some confusion as to which phone I had taken to BKK, as she had SMS’d me to another number that I did not have with me. (A long story). When I finally talked to her Saturday evening, she was “up to her ears” in schoolwork (she said) and we only talked for a few minutes. There did not seem to be anything further amiss at that time. During this weekend, by the way, most of the students had gone home as they normally due every weekend. She stayed on to do homework, she says. I called her again about 1:30 PM Sunday and after a few seconds conversation heard a male’s voice say “hello” in the background. I recognized this voice as that of a Lady Boy, fellow student. She was in her room at this time. I also heard her briefly cover the phone mouthpiece, as if to tell him to be quiet. I asked her who was there and she said nobody, which I knew was a lie. A couple of days later, when I asked about this again, she admitted that in fact he was in her room, but they were just working on a homework assignment & eating lunch. She said I should not worry, because he is a Lady Boy. He is just a “friend”. I am not stupid enough to believe that some would not jump at the chance to bang some Farang's girlfriend, to serve their ego, if nothing else.

Since that incident, she has pretty much swept it under the carpet and acted like nothing unusual ever happened. My attitude is that I no longer trust her and anything she says is subject to suspicion. I hate to sound so paranoid, but similar incidents have happened with other women, with the final proof being they were basically being dishonest about their activities. Sorry to ramble on so long, but I have been “fuming” about this for some time now. Fire Away - ladies & gents.

I think you have completely misread it.

Ladyboy's identify themselves as ladies, it's completely against their being to suddenly jump back to acting like a man.

Speak to some in depth and find out for yourself.

Hi David,

In my understanding she never lost her Thai citizenship through adopting the US citizenship and should be able to get a Thai passport reissued.

This view is only an opinion so hopefully someone here with the knowledge will go right into it.

Have you applied for her passport through the embassy (proving both parents were Thai)?

PS: Being a carer of a special needs person is a very challenging role...i tip my hat to you.

Hi all,

my understanding is the large amount of water vapour in the tropics absorbs the harsher elements in the sunlight.

Perth, even further south than Sydney, is much drier and has some of the brightest sunlight I've seen in Australia and apparently some of the worst skin cancer rates in the world.

dismal isn't it....

This really sucks...although just another tourist trap in a very long line, the difference here it was the well organised nature, the involvement of management and staff and the complete failure of those who should help (management and police) to act. Not much, if anything, can be said in support of the hotel.

A quick google revealed other tourists from different countries reporting similar thefts at the same hotel.

I must congratulate the OP’s for taking it right up to the hotel and even organising a sit in, very ballsy.

I have gone to the website and made a booking enquiry for a group at http://phuketdir.com/seasunsand/index.htm

At which time I will string them along, then post the adverse information concerning their hotel (the thefts) asking for their response…a small thing but at least helps to reinforce some consequences will flow.

Another thing, perhaps the mods could consider placing this in a busier forum? (say general)..surely the more that see it the better.

I hate the thought of any more people losing money over Xmas to this hotel.

my heart was abit racy last night.seemed to come on after eating a takeaway in the apartment.i wondered whether it was too much msg or salt,as we had nam prick,plus 2 large dipping sauces for bbq pork,& som tam.all very salty tasting.plus a 7/11 ham & cheese sandwich beforehand,eaten on the way back to the apartment classy.it feels like i'm dehydrated today.i'm a healthy eater as far as fat goes,but sometimes forget about this side of it.

anybody else have these symptoms with the above?

I think it important to know yourself, people have vastly different reactions to food chemicals. Taking advice from people who have no reaction and assure you it is safe with all sorts or aguements, is simply not sound.

Secondly adopt a process of elimination, work out what you had, if you got the symptoms previously …..

If my memory serves me right people have died of an MSG reaction. Claiming that simply because MSG is naturally in some foods it has no effect, is plain silly (quinine, aspirin, strychnine are also found naturally in foods). Firstly the amounts present in foods are generally not concentrated and very minor and secondly may be chemically bound in a form that slows absorption or be present with cofactors which decrease the effect, compare that to an entirely pure chemically refined substance which may be like rocket fuel!

IA friend who was known to have problems with MSG (headaches, dry mouth and generally felt hung over the next day) but loved his Asian food ordered a Chinese meal '..with no MSG'.

After eating the meal he immediately felt some minor symptoms (itchy, tingling skin) so returned home taking a short cut through a golf course (at night so he wasn't donged in the head). Half way through his heart began to race madly, he saw stars and developed a splitting headache then collapsed where he lay for a few hours until he recovered (I imagine the golfers would have played around). The doctors cleared him of stroke or any other neurological problems and felt it was most likely a MSG reaction.

My 3yr old daughter developed noticeably darker hair on her top lip and shoulders, we assumed it was left over hormones from birth. However, Mum had been rubbing her with a Tea Tree oil lotion and spaying the room with eucalyptus oil.

We saw a news article and stopped it, the dark hair disappeared surprisingly quickly…. guess what Tea Tree oil is a formidable hormone disruptor, again a completely ‘natural’ substance that has been taken out of it’s natural context.

Without going on about the rights or wrongs of this particular case, the law often produces these catastrophic human consequences quite disproportionate to the crime. It is one thing to say he deserved it, but so often the family unit bears the brunt..

Has he seen a lawyer? you mention a possible angle, sometimes a seemingly small technicality can make a large difference. Obvious suggestion is to hire top quality legal representation asap. Keep us posted on the outcome.

cheers

As Clint Eastwood once said 'a mans got to know his limitations..'

If you think you can do it go for, if not get help.

People drown surprisingly quickly, perhaps less than 2 minutes...it usually starts from a mad panic, this desperate need to get the head high out of the water, which just uses up the energy reserves, once any seawater gets into the system its very rapidly downhill. Many surf victims die from a heart attack caused through an ion imbalance via less than a cup full of water in the lungs rather than being asphyxiated.

Can't stress the importance of being relaxed in surf, just let the waves break over the face, float it out, use minimal energy, don;t worry about rips they are circular.

PS: A Bronze medallion is a good knowledge course but IMHO not worth squat in big surf, it comes down to fitness and experience in those conditions.

PPS: Once saw someone literally climb onto the head of a rescuer, it was in a rock pool about 6ft deep, the rescuer was 5ft, they both ended up bobbing up and down as the rescuer hit the bottom...the crowd laughed.

he's an intellectual thought...

shes a nutjob, he's lucky she didn't do a job on his nuts...

If you can manage it, I honestly think you will find making an arrangement [token payments over a long time] the sensible long term way to go.

Go through one of the charity debt relief agencies [as mentioned in previous posts].

Be upfront, faced with the choice of nil or something, it is amazing the deals that can be cut, again probably best to go through an agency, as they do know the laws and may have some rapport with the lenders.

This immediately will take a load of your mind and reduce chances of any actions, while you consider your next step, the golden rule is to stay in touch and make an effort no matter how small.

If you do go that way, stick to any agreement religiously.

Stuffing up your future up for a relatively short term problem is not clear thinking.

As to debt following you to Thailand, that sounds highly unlikely & probably a last ditch scare story [who made the threat?] but I really don't know.

Your situation is common, you can certainly dig your way out of it.

Goodness is universal, not cultural. You would do well to remember that.

Perhaps you meant 'kindness is universal' ....

Goodness is inherently cultural.

Have you thought that maybe for some reason she feels she can not vouch for your work, it sounds like you are asking for a reference and she isn't keen, for personal or professional reasons.

Yeah that's always possible...but without sounding like the rabid egotist I am, it was a bit of a dream run at that place so would be unlikely.