mr_hippo

As any book reviewer would say "This thread is an interesting, riveting read!"

How long were you with her before you went back to the States? I know you came here in 2001 and that your 2nd trip was in May 2002.

I think you wrote that your wife does not drive - does anybody start the engine on a regular basis and possibly take the pick-up for a short spin or or is it just parked gathering dust and cobwebs?

If your 'business computer' is in Bangkok, how are you running your business?

I take it that you are a mature, adult, so what do you want from us? Sympathy, a shoulder to cry on?

About 3 years ago, I received a letter from the pensions people in Newcastle stating that I had not made enough NI contributions for tax year 2000/2001 and could I send them a cheque for £xxx. I replied that I was living in Thailand and I had no intention of returning to the UK to live. They then told me that if I had made enough contributions (11 years or more) then I could have my pension paid into a UK bank, a Thai bank or a cheque sent to my Thai address. I was also told that I would get a married man's pension even though my wife has not made any contributions and that on my death she would receive a widows pension.

I filled in the pension forecast form and was told that I would get about 40,000 Baht per month, calculated on the then rates - will be more when I get to 65.

So in answer to your question - she won't get a pension in her own right but will get a widow's pension.

Perhaps it is their pronounciation of a well-known Anglo-Saxon word!

The transcript

The sketch opens with Zippy peeling a banana...

Zippy: "One skin, two skin, three skin, four.... "

George: "Zippy, where is Bungle?"

Zippy: "I think Geoffrey is trying to get him up"

We see a view of the door and hear Bungle moaning from behind it.

Bungle: "Geoffrey, I can't get it in"

Geoffrey: "You managed it last night"

Bungle: "I know, let's try it round the other way around. Ooooooh, I've got it in"

Bungle and Geoffrey enter the studio with Bungle carrying a hammer and peg kit

Bungle: "Would you stick this on the shelf, George"

George: "I can't reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself,

Geoffrey (to camera) " Hello everyone, today we are talking about playing"

Bungle: "Playing with each other, Geoffrey?"

Geoffrey: "Yes Bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to play with?"

George: "Yesterday we played with our balls.

Are we going to play with our friend's balls today?"

Bungle: "Yes, and we can play with our twangers as well."

Geoffrey (to camera): Have you seen Bungles twanger?

Zippy: "Oh I have, I showed him how to pluck with it."

Bungle: "It's my plucking instrument."

Geoffrey asks the audience if they can pluck like Bungle

Zippy: "I can, I'm the best plucker here."

George: "And I'm good at banging. My peg's hard isn't it Zippy?"

Zippy: "Well of course it is, Your peg wouldn't go in if it was soft."

Geoffrey: "Let's get back to Bungle's twanger."

Bungle (excited): "Oooooh Geoffrey, we could all paint our twangers couldn't we?"

George: "Let's sing that plucking song."

Bungle: "Rod and Roger can get their instruments out and Jane has got two lovely Maracas."

Singers Rod, Roger and Jane enter.

Rod: "We could hear you all banging away."

Roger: "Banging can be fun."

Jane: "Ooooh yes, and I was banging away all last night with Rod and Roger."

Roger (looking sad): "Yes, but it broke my plucking instrument."

Geoffrey: "Never mind Roger, let sing the plucking song, come on

everybody get your instruments out."

Rod (to Jane): "Do you want to blow on my pipe while I'm twanging away?"

Jane: "Oh no Rod, I was blowing a lot with Roger last night. But would you

like to play with my maracas?"

Zippy: "No, let's just pluck away with our twangers."

Bungle: "Yes, it doesn't matter what size your twanger is."

Zippy: "I've got a big red one."

George: "I've only got a tiny twanger. But it works well and I like to play with it."

Geoffrey (to viewers): "Well, have you got your twangers out? And remember,

you can bounce your balls at the same time. If you haven't got any balls,

ask a friend if you can play with his. Now, let's all sing the plucking song."

Everyone in studio: "Pluck, pluck, pluck away, we're going to pluck all day today."

"Pluck, pluck, pluck away, we're going to pluck all day."

Geoffrey (to viewers): " It's time for us all to go now, but don't forget ....

to get your twangers out and play with your balls." "See you soon. Bye."

An American university (can't remember which one) received a research grant of $Xmillions to find the answer to this very question. After about 4 years of research, the findings were published - some are white with black stripes and some are black with white stripes

Can't you service it yourself? It is not that difficult. I have been sevicing mine for years.

Your right its not, i've been doing the wife's and mine for years also, but lack of time my man, ya know! So want to do mine?

Can you afford my prices?

Can't you service it yourself? It is not that difficult. I have been sevicing mine for years.

I can understand the Aussies problem-they are only 120 years old and still learning,but the rest of you!

That would be "Aussies'"...

Then Mr jones corrects it to Aussie's

If it is only one Aussie then the possessive plural is "Aussie's" - more than one it is Aussies' (the final 's' in Aussies's is dropped)

I went there about 18 months ago. I was only in the UK for 1 week. When I checked on the website, it said that they only accepted postal applications. Even sending it by registered mail and back, I thought that the time was too short for comfort. A quick e-mail was sent asking could I drop the passport and paperwork off and pick it up later. The reply came back almost straightaway telling me to phone her as soon as I got there.

The earliest that I could phone was Monday morning. I can't remember the lady's name - I think it was Sue. "When do you want to come in?. Tuesday morning OK for you?" So we made an appointment for 11am, Tuesday. The office doesn't open until 11am but my wife and I were there at about 1030.

She saw us waiting outside, brought us in "Have you got the passport, paperwork and the money?" I handed everything over to her, "Can't read Thai so I don't need that lot - will take about 30 minutes".

My wife and I went over the road to Subway and within 20 minutes we saw her at the doorway of the building waving my passport at us. First class service.

So my advice is to find the e-mail address (Changed my computer so a lot of data was lost), send her a quick e-mail and she will sort you out.

Just found her e-mail address - [email protected]

Knowing the Media, I find that alot of "wan-a-be reporters" here on TV Forum, think they know more than they have HEARD-SHAME-you're not a bit better, in fact worse, since you're grasping at straws!

What will some of you do after this thread dies down?

Same-Same

Haven't you realised that this is a forum? I will not insult your intelligence by asking you what you think a forum is. People of all ages, nationalities and walks of life come here to put forward their thoughts and ideas about many things, just like any other gathering place.

You ask, "What will we do after this thread dies down?" Start new threads about - the new airport, Christmas in Thailand, the new football season, polar bear hunting on Samui, the best way to treat an ingrowing toenail, where to find the best sausages in Thailand or countless other subjects.

By the way, the thread about polar bear hunting on Samui will be a non-starter because my great-great-grandfather was a successful polar bear hunter there many years ago. He must have been very successful - have you ever seen a live polar bear on Samui?

Karr said it was an accident - since when were strangulation and battery accidental?

Kidnappers demanded £118,000 - why such an odd number? Some people explain this by saying it was the amount of the bonus that Mr. Ramsay received, was this public knowledge before the kidnapping?

You put your child to bed and then find your child missing - what is the first thing that you would do? Wouldn't you do a proper search of your house, garden and outbuildings?

After the body was found why did the father move the body upstairs and why did the police move it back again?

I might be totally wrong but i heard that (traditionally) the Monks gave the christian name, based on time of the year and other Buddhist factors. Then the Mother gave the "pet" or "nic" name.

Don't you mean first name?

When hand luggage goes into the hold, it is no longer hand luggage!

Nikkijah "I already have a business in Thailand which is doing fairly well so the money is not important but we would like to do this just to try it out"

Also from same poster "mr_hippo, I'll consider this, money is money after all "

So you are doing it for the money.

The new airport will definately open on September the 29th

But we don't know what year!!

You want work for your 17 month old? My advice is to wait until he is about 5 years old then you can get him selling garlands at any road junction or planting rice. Seiously ask your son what he wants.

Do yourself a favour and try flying with someone else. We flew with them last year -BKK-AMS on an ancient 747, the food was just as old! This year we have been quoted a good price on Etihad for BKK-AUH: AUH-MAN.

Ball park figure for custom made shoes?

Bottom of page 3 in today's (11/8) Bkk Post

I think I'll have to move to Hua Hin - first crib and now backgammon

The tour guide had probably memorised the 'script' and although you say his English was good, he possibly does not have the capability to ad-lib. The Thais learn English by rote. Ask English teachers what their pet hate is and I think most will say "I am fine, thank you and how are you?" said in a robotic voice. The guide was possibly following the script blindly.

I see in your first post that you said 'whilst' so can I assume that you are British? Please remember that we British are always British and never foreigners

My wife has just suggested that if she is in employment here in Thailand, it would be advisable to get a letter from her employer to state that she is working there and has been granted leave from (date) to (date)

Guys, where is the place to cycle in Bangkok??

Where in Bangkok are you?

Road bike or mountain bike?

Short trips or long ones?

My wife and I have recently returned from Oman but we were sponsored by my employer. Oman is still a very conservative country. Am I right in assuming that your friend is Thai and female? I have known of people bringing relatives over for visits but are you talking long term? If I remember rightly, she will have to be sponsored by either yourself or your company (maybe your HR department will help you) The fact that she is Thai and unmarried may count against you. The Arabs are still under the impression that Thai girls only want to come to the Gulf for one reason!

If you are granted a visa, the Omanis have a very complicated system. The visa is not stamped into the passport here in BKK. Instead you are given a slip of paper with a visa number and this has to be either faxed to you in Oman or scanned and e-mailed. Once you have received this confirmation then that has to be taken, by hand, to Seeb Airport, Muscat and lodged there. If you are applying on her behalf, then you would make your application at the local police station.

If you are not in Muscat, then see a travel agent and get him to send it by taxi for you and then get a receipt from the travel agent ( keep a copy of it in case of loss). The taxi driver will come back with a receipt from Seeb.

When your friend arrives at Seeb, she will then go to the visa pick-up point, collect the visa and hand that and her passport to passport control. Then pick up her baggage and clear customs.

I arrived in Oman about 5 weeks before my wife arrived

My company done all the paperwork for me apart from getting the visa to Seeb - it cost me about 7 Rial for one of the local taxis to get the visa to the airport

We were at Sur, where are you?

First of all, Wimpy (Is that J Wellington Wimpy of Popeye fame or the British hamburger chain?), please define 'American sausage'. Are you talking about those plastic tubes that you put in hot dogs? Perhaps you refer to the many European types that are made in the US or are you talking about sausage meat patties? When did you last eat a genuine British banger? There are about 500 types of British banger, my local butcher makes about 30 of them. Foodland in Bangkok sell a fairly good English pork sausage.

An American friend of mine (ex USAF) likes 'shit on shingles' for breakfast - that would be classified in England as invalid food. I have never tried it, the look of it puts me off.

I will end now as my wife has just cooked me a full English breakfast.