habuspasha

"Decent" may be ambiguous. I was going to write "comfortable" but thought that might seem a bit HiSo. She has a car (her second) and a house in her name where we live. She enjoys shopping but is not extravagant. She gives the boys small salaries and teaches them to contribute to their needs. They go to schools between public and private--tests and modest fees. These are boys who suffered in public schools and had never been to the beach or a movie theater ten years ago. They now enjoy school.

I don't understand. You think it's too high or too low? That's THB; risen from 30K/mo ten years ago when I first helped her out of the bar. It's enabled her to lead a middle class life (taxis, trips to the beach, school fees), not a life of pleasure living it up.

Even my decent salary of 60-75,000 hardly permits "a life of pleasure living it up", especially as two boys become teens.

Preferably in Hua Hin area, but Bangkok ok. Preferably a woman.

I don't understand why this got a thumbs-down response. Is it likely that the responder doesn't approve of HIV or STD testing before marriage (or ever)? Or am I being scolded for my frequent massages (which incidentally are just massages)?

We never had unprotected sex. She wants to be able to expand the repertoire

It's funny you ask. Never a question about DNA testing; I knew the boys had separate fathers from her younger days. But she did recently suggest we both get HIV and STD testing before the wedding. Me because she knows I get frequent massages.

Was that enough to keep her faithful? Yes, but I never thought that was the quid pro quo. I believed she wanted to get out of the bar, had no other sexual interests, and was generally thankful enough to love me, at least eventually for my care.

Ten years ago I met her in a bar. She wanted to stop working and I wanted her exclusively. I asked her how much he made in an average month. She said 30,000 and I started providing it. Costs increased over the decade to 60,000 what with growing boys, and I also provided homes and cars, better schools, and medical expenses. She never asked. I wanted her and them to be well. I loved her (a motivation that has been ignored in much of this discussion). After we are married this winter I imagine our collective monthly expenses will increase further. At least I hope so.

The phrases "women in their own country" and "taking advantage of economic inequality" have to be contextualized. My alternative to my future Thai wife who is 40 years my junior was a Peruvian waitress, 41 years my junior, in my home country, the U.S.A. And as a modestly comfortable retired teacher, there are many wealthy women in my own country who wouldn't give me the wrong time of day.

I'm 84 and she is 43. We've been together ten years. Initially I often asked what others think of us (read me) and she always said it was about jai dee not age. By now I've learned that the overwhelming response from those who have and have not met me is "lucky girl." It should have been "lucky guy." We bought our first house in January and plan to get married in December.

Since I may be partly responsible for raising the issue of boredom, let me clarify a personal matter. I wasn't suggesting that living in LOS was inevitably boring. Maybe some places are but certainly not all. I remember years ago a TV member describing Hua Hin as littered with the bodies of expats who had died of boredom. And now I have just moved to the rural outskirts of Hua Hin. But it's personal and comparative. I'm used to living in Manhattan where I plan on doing half-years. Spring and summer, I think. Any change of pace or scene has to lessen boredom at some level.

Sorry, I don't get it. You didn't leave Thailand or earlier patrie?

Do you become an expat by living in Thailand half the year, as I plan, or does it have to be the full year? A half year here and a half year there should decrease the boredom potential but it means putting down roots in both places. I just got the Thai house. The next step is the even more difficult job of getting a Fiance Visa to be with the GF in both places. We're doing this a bit later than you advise (in our 40s and 80s), but you can never do it earlier than you are.

I'm awake with the sun--from 6:30 to 6:30. Sometimes 7-7; even 7-8, never 7-11.