whistersniff

This is easily the best thread I’ve read on this forum. Quality posts, @owl sees all Does anyone have recommendations for a village I can visit in Isaan that has a small hotel? I’d like to get out of the city to practice my Thai and spend more time talking with wonderful Thai people.

I’ve been talking to a young lady (in her 20s). She’s sweet, works in retail at the mall, and lives with her mom and sister. We talk everyday on Line. She strikes me as more the inexperienced and innocent type. We met by chance and have been talking for a few days quite a bit. I haven’t told her I’m attached and more interested in a gik type woman on the side. Any advice from those who have been in my shoes on how to approach the topic with her if we get to the point of talking about relationships? I don’t want her to think I’m leading her on so earlier would be better.

OP, I thought you posted an interesting, thought-provoking issue; however, this forum is not good for that kind of post. You see, the old, grumpy no-lifers here just like to crap all over anyone who tries to post anything serious, especially if you give any hints that you have or want something they do not have. I don't have an alternative forum to recommend but don't be discouraged by the negative whiny retirees and broke blokes who are ridiculing you for your post. Good luck.

In true sugar relationships, there's a degree of exclusivity. She's not sleeping around and managing multiple partners and flipping dicks on a nightly basis like a prostitute. Authentic sugar relationships usually last for years and there's a high degree of feelings, if not love, involved. Usually the woman has another focus in life (career, hobbies, whatever) and the guy is in a relationship or too busy to commit to one, and it works for them both. Sure, <deleted> usually hits the fan at some point because someone develops feelings, but the lady isn't a prostitute in the sense that she's selling her ass to multiple men on a frequent basis. She's giving up her body for a financial renumeration, but I'd argue many "sweet" Thai ladies who find their western man as a way out of Thailand are doing the same. It's a trade-off of lifestyle for companionship - she's willing to fill his needs, and he's willing to take on her as a financial obligation in life. Go to my home country and you see plenty of Thai women who are attractive with men who are easily below them in looks, but the situation works for them. And ten times out of ten they met in Thailand (or Vietnam), he's older, less attractive, but she takes care of him and he provides for her. So yes many of these women in Thailand sell sex for money and that's just prostitution. However, there are different arrangements out there for women who don't want a commitment, but like the money/lifestyle and don't want to have sex with ten guys a night or week to get it.

I'm aware of sideline groups, but wonder if those girls really aren't just prostitutes under a different label. I understand the idea of a side line girl, but if she's working for an agency and cycling through 3-5 clients at a time, then she's not far off from a prostitute who wants to meet for one hour and have sex for money and that's it.

Sounds like a good enough arrangement that it works for both of you. Sounds ideal too. Thanks for sharing.

Hey, thanks for your post. I'm open to and would prefer a married woman. That was much easier and worked a lot better in the country we lived in before Thailand. I know married Thai men at work who have girlfriends, but just assumed the ladies in this country were much more conservative and unwilling to have an affair, especially after age 40. Might be a bad assumption on my end. That said, I work with mostly men and my place of employment is off limits for "fishing" so I don't know where I'd meet an unhappy married woman open to a side relationship. I'm going to spend more time chatting with the average ladies in public (stores, etc.) as others have suggested. Thanks again for replying.

What you describe is not possible and unrealistic according to the grumpy people on this forum. Seriously, thanks for taking the time to respond and sharing your experience. Helpful insights.

Easy for you to judge when you don't know a thing about me besides what I posted. Did you read the part about my spouse and I having an agreement and we both strive to keep our "other" lives out of the house and away from the family.

Proficient Thai is not fluent. Why do so many people on this forum struggle to read the details of the post? You can do it. Slow down and try again.

You seem to know a lot about sugar websites. You sure you're not secretly browsing for yourself?

Thanks. It's good to hear from someone who knows the reality. I'll stay open minded to the bar girls and visit karaoke bars to sing in Thai for fun and meet people.

A lot of disgruntled western men. For all the poking at me, they sure are pathetic when I read their posts.

Sick? give me access to your life for one week and we'll see what sick habits you have as well. White knight.

You must have missed the 'sugar' part of my post. Not free. Read the OP.

To clarify about transactional: yes, it will be transactional in that she is receiving money in return for her time. But I'm looking for something more than one hour with a person for sex. I'm surprised (or not) that so many on this board are acting like this is a unicorn situation. It's not uncommon in other parts of the world and given what I've seen in Thailand there are options here as well because there's a population of women looking for financial support and stability. Yes, the lady I find won't be 100% committed to me. I stated in my OP I expected that and am just fine with it.

Did you read the OP? It's opposite of what you wrote. I am willing to pay, but not for a one and done transactional experience (i.e., hooker). But that doesn't fit your narrative that allows you to post an unfunny, smartass comment.

I don't use internet dating sites for privacy purposes.

I expected to get blasted, but didn't expect so many disgruntled haters on this forum.

Proficient is not perfect.

Thanks for the insights. I look late 30s and fit. Not sure I fit the stereotypical profile of a sugar daddy to a college-aged lady. I think the key is finding the nicer venues they frequent (to find a sugar daddy) and then showing up there. Finding the places is the hard part. Showing up is easy.

Thanks for the insights. Good points to keep in mind. I'm aware of that site and, like all things from that site, it's the worst of the worst. My experiences have been nowhere close to the crazy psycho people who post there.

I don't want it to be transactional in the sense that I'm paying a prostitute for one hour of sex and leaving. Otherwise, I'd just pay a prostitute for one hour of sex and leave.

A uni lady would be good, but I'm double her age. We wouldn't have anything in common. And, that'd be hard to find I imagine. Don't want to be the older guy trawling through uni bars trying to talk to young women.

I expect to get blasted for this question, but will ask anyway. I'm a westerner living in Thailand with my family and will be here for at least another 4-5 years. In a nutshell, I'm looking for a Thai girlfriend. My spouse and I have that kind of marriage (don't ask, don't tell) but we do not let the kids know at all. I'm realistic about my situation and what I can and cannot offer a lady on the side, so I am willing to go the sugar route. However, I'm not interested in bar ladies or prostitutes. There's risk in every situation, but it's far too high with those ladies. And, I'm looking for something more than transactional. I'd like to at least have a relationship with the lady, understanding that we will have our own lives and she may have someone else on the side as well. Ideally, we enjoy our time with each other and both benefit. I'm looking for companionship and she might be looking for assistance (i.e., the sugar). I don't expect to find, nor would I want to waste the prime years of a sweet lady who wants to settle with a family. However, again, not looking for a bar fly either. Does anyone have suggestions where and how to find this kind of relationship? I speak proficient Thai so language barrier is not a problem. I expect the hate to flow at me, but am looking for some objective advice for someone in my situation. Thanks.