123Stodg

So, I wanted to post a quick follow-up here rather than reply to my original thread (which has kind of taken on a life of its own). I ended up having a proper talk with my girl about the money issue. I brought up the family support thing and asked where the pressure was really coming from. She got a bit emotional and said her parents have been asking questions, especially about me being older and not meaningfully contributing anything to her life. I guess in their eyes the situation makes me look unserious, uncaring or even disrespectful. We talked it through and settled on something a bit lower at 20,000 baht a month. I’ll explain in a minute why I even pushed for less, when in fact the amount itself really isn't the issue for me. But she seems happy with this figure, her family is apparently fine with it, and honestly, it’s not a big burden for me financially. I would’ve gone for 30K if that’s what it will take, and if it gives her some peace of mind, I figure that's worth something in itself. That said, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a small part of me wondering if the pressure really is from the family, or if she’s just framing it that way to make the request sound more acceptable. That’s why I attempted to nudge the amount down a bit, I wanted to test the waters, see how she’d respond to a lesser figure, and try to suss out if I'm just getting fully rinsed here. She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question. Maybe I’m just overthinking. Maybe it’s totally genuine. And I'd feel like a complete knob if I was making any wrong assumptions about her. But the thought still creeps in now and then. Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

Been on here a while now and never thought I’d be making this kind of post, but life has a way of surprising you I guess. So here’s the story. I’ve been in Bangkok for a while, had a few girlfriends in the past, working for an overseas company now, just keeping my head down. I’m not one of those bar scene guys, never really got much into all that. A few months ago I met this amazing girl who works at one of those little bubble tea kiosks in a Skytrain station. She’s in her early 20s, very sweet, doesn’t speak much English and my Thai isn’t great either, but somehow we click. I used to stop by and buy tea from her a few times a week, then eventually we started chatting more and I asked for her LINE. Things moved slowly at first, but now we’ve been officially dating for a few months. And honestly, I’ve been having the time of my life. No drama, no stress, she’s affectionate, fun, and makes me feel 20 years younger. We go out, we laugh, we do things together, and she never nags or causes problems. I’ve read all the horror stories, but this feels a bit special and different in some way. The intimacy is amazing too, which I didn’t expect with the language and age gap, but it just works. Now here’s where I’m looking for a bit of perspective. She recently brought up the idea of me helping her send money to her family. She mentioned around 30,000 baht a month would really help them out. I know that’s about double what she earns, but she didn’t demand it or push hard, just brought it up gently. She’s still working full time at the kiosk and hasn’t asked me for anything else. I’ve never been in this kind of situation before. I always used to read posts on here and think “nah, I’d never be that guy”, but now here I am. And I’m honestly not sure how to feel about it. The truth is, I can afford it, I don’t really care about the money, and I am genuinely enjoying my time with her. She’s made my life feel lighter, happier. I don’t get any sense that I’m really being used, but I also know how brutally honest some of you can be, so I figured I’d throw it out there for some feedback. If both of us are happy and it’s working, is there actually anything wrong with it? As I said, I don’t mind giving her the money. She makes me happy. So I’m thinking, why not.

So just pure hypothetical: say you wander into one of them cheeky massage places in Pattaya for a bit of a happy ending, and instead of the usual setup, you end up with some dude in a dress, bit of lippy on, and a decent pair of bolt-ons, fumbling about with your old chap ’til it shoots confetti. Now, you didn’t touch him, he never got his gear off, and you kept your eyes closed the whole time thinking of Kylie Minogue. Does that make you ghey? Or is it more of a spiritual cleansing via manual relief? Just trying to clarify for a mate, obviously. I is here doing the Lord’s work asking the important questions. 😂

My dad orphaned me growing up in Australia when I was at a pretty young age. It was a pretty rough situation.

The 7-Elevens I buy from are large, like mini supermarkets. I buy fresh and hard-boiled eggs, freshly cut-up fruit, bananas, packaged fresh salads, protein drinks, butter, nuts, unsweetened Japanese green tea, etc. Very little of what I buy in there is unhealthy. They also have a counter with a few chairs where I can sit and eat something. Very convenient and 24 hours. Much preferable to big super markets.

Why is Larry so happy? Anything to do with Mrs. Smith?

????

False. As of January 2025, Thailand’s annual inflation rate rose to 1.32%, up from 1.23% in December 2024.

Are you not keeping up with your bedroom duties? With all that cash you have now, maybe you could hire somebody to do that for you.

Wrong topic.

I couldn't do it.

20,000 would be a bit too tight and restrictive.

Medical cost is an important issue as you mentioned. But that is something you would have to consider no matter where you live in the world, unless of course you have free or inexpensive government healthcare provided to you in your home country. 55,000 Baht sounds like kind of a lot to be spending to live in a rural part of Thailand, especially if you don't go out drinking on a regular basis. I think a lot of people probably do it for a less than 55K. But I guess two people, and if you have rent to pay and other fixed expenses, then maybe that's what it costs. Golf and restaurants 2 to 3 times a week up country shouldn't be that much extra in terms of cost though, would it? I probably spend about that much on average every month myself and I'm just one person. Expenses just seem to happen. But as I said, I'm not really on a budget.

Thank you, Charlie. I agree with everything you said. I just want to add that it’s not necessarily required to live in a rural area of the country to keep costs down. It really depends on your setup. If you own an apartment in the city, don’t have a car, and don’t have a family to support, you can probably live quite affordably in an urban area as well. But that requires a that requires an initial investment as well. Food and many basic necessities in Thailand are still relatively inexpensive though. I probably spend more than I need to, but since I’m not overly concerned about budgeting, I don’t think too much about it. That said, I believe others could also live affordably in the city if they manage their expenses properly I don't live in an expensive apartment. The biggest costs in Thailand are usually accommodation and owning a car. Beyond that, most expenses come down to entertainment and luxury purchases. But if you live modestly, food is still very reasonably priced and would likely be your biggest regular expense.

A friend of mine who lives overseas and is retiring this year sent me an email asking if I think Thailand is still a good place to spend long periods of time if you are on a limited fixed budget. Specifically, he wanted to know if it is still possible to enjoy life here without spending much on bars, restaurants, women, and other luxuries. I could not really answer his question from that perspective since I have never had to watch my spending in Thailand too closely, but it got me wondering. For those living in Thailand on a tighter budget, can it still be enjoyable, or has the cost of living, especially with rising inflation over recent years, made it much more difficult to be happy in Thailand?