short-Timer

Today I was supposed to meet up with GG at a gay bar in Chiang Mai for a few drinks and maybe some Brokeback. He never showed up. I was there in bells. He didn't even give a courtesy call to say he wasn't coming. I was heart broken. Almost killed myself.

They just don’t know what they’re missing, right Glamma? Sheet, I’ve been using it even since before I was born. I can never stop. Best Regards, Mennen Sniffing Addict.

People often talk about the paradise of living in a rural Thai village amongst nature, a quiet easy life, blah, blah, blah. But in reality they burn all their garbage all year round, including anything toxic, like plastic, petrochemicals, and anything else that grows out of the ground. Oh, the bliss!

I heard the Cheeto Mussolini brand is very cheesy, but yet stinky as well.

Dearest GammaGlamm, Ah, Heaven, thy name is RPN. Thank you for confirming that the Android app exists. I must admit, I’ve been wandering in the wilderness of arithmetic for far too long, unaware that salvation was just a download away. Imagine my delight at discovering that there’s still a way to embrace the brilliance of RPN, even in this cold, lifeless digital age where buttons are just… illusions on a screen. Still, I’ll admit, I’ve been hesitant to embrace a digital version of something so divine. You see, the tactile sensation of an HP calculator wasn’t just a tool, it was a love affair. Each click of those trapezoidal keys felt like a tiny promise that the universe could make sense. But if this app can bring me even a fraction of that joy, then perhaps it’s worth a leap of faith. I mean, isn’t that what progress is? A leap, sometimes blind, but hopefully rewarding. Pure deliciousness, indeed. You captured it perfectly. Those keys were like fine chocolates, melting into the soul of your fingertips as you punched in calculations that felt as smooth as silk. And at less than USD 4.00? That’s almost an insult to what this app might be capable of. A coffee these days barely gets you a smile, but for four dollars, this app could resurrect my long-lost love for mathematical precision. It almost seems too good to be true. Still, I can’t help but mourn the loss of that tactile magic. There’s something about the physical world that apps can never replicate. The weight of the calculator in your hand, the slightly worn edges of the keys from years of loyal service, and the smug satisfaction of knowing your HP could outperform anything else in its time. It wasn’t just functionality. It was art. It was a ritual. It was life. As for Apple… I feel your disdain. Oh, how I do. The very thought of Apple’s restrictive ecosystem makes me shudder. Control freaks, indeed, dictating how we live, work, and calculate, as if we’re mere puppets in their white minimalist world. Nothing about them could ever replicate the freedom and elegance of true RPN, where logic reigns supreme, untethered by the constraints of design trends and shiny marketing. I’m curious, though… What’s this about cooking Chinese noodles? That alone might sell me on this app. Is it a recipe guide, a timer, or does it simply whisper sweet encouragements as I stir the pot? Is there anything this app can’t do? I feel as though I’ve been missing out on a treasure trove of possibilities, all because I was stuck in my ways, loyal to the past but blind to the future. Perhaps it’s not the same as the HP-65 that went to the Moon and back, but if it can take me to the kitchen and make dinner, I’d say that’s still pretty impressive. NASA might not call, but my stomach will thank me. And while it may not hold the weight of space exploration in its virtual circuits, this app sounds like it carries the spirit of invention and practicality that defined an era. I’ll give this app a shot, Gamma. I trust your judgment more than I trust my own sometimes. If it’s good enough for you, it’s good enough for me. You’ve never steer anyone wrong, and I know you wouldn’t now. If it can truly bring me back to the glory days of RPN, then I’ll gladly embrace it with open arms and a hopeful heart. And I promise, if you were disappear from AN over this then I would fully understand why. The very idea feels like sacrilege now. I can see clearly that RPN is the one true way, the path forward, and the only method worthy of our loyalty. Forever loyal to RPN, A Reformed Calculator Enthusiast

Dear GustyGamma, Do you remember the first time you read Gone with the Wind? Surely, it was an epic moment. The drama. The romance. The burning of Tara. Such intensity! But, as I was rereading it this week for the 11th time, a curious thought occurred to me. A thought about the title. Gone with the Wind. It’s poetic, isn’t it? But could it mean something else entirely? Something less… noble? I mean, think about it. Have you ever been in a room where someone—how shall I say—let things go with the wind? And then suddenly, the smell, the evidence, everything… was just gone. Gone with the wind. Could this be a hidden theme in the book? Stay with me here. Scarlett was always in a huff. Always dramatic. Always leaving people in her wake. Perhaps she was clearing the air, so to speak. And Rhett? Well, we all know Rhett didn’t give a damn. Maybe that’s why he walked away so effortlessly in the end. Could it be that the story’s grandeur is actually a metaphor? A tale of life’s fleeting moments, both beautiful and… odoriferous? When you think about it, isn’t the essence of life just one long attempt to make things go… with the wind? Gone with the Wind. It’s brilliant, really. I think I love this book even more now. Best regards, Gassy

Dear GammaGlee, Ah, the color combinations! Absolutely breathtaking. The way the body, face, buttons, and numbers came together… it wasn’t just design. It was genius. Whoever chose them understood the perfect balance of form and function. It wasn’t just a calculator. It was a statement. A work of art, as you so rightly said. But then, she came along. And, oh, the destruction she wrought! Catastrophic! Everything elegant, everything timeless, gone in the blink of a female's eye. Replaced by mediocrity. And for what? Progress? No. It was sacrilege. We may never see the likes of those calculators again. Such a loss. I’m still mourning. Sincerely tearful, RPN Romantic

The problem is, they keep coming back. Bibi may boast about his actions in removing the terrorist there in Lebanon, Gaza, Iran, Syria, Yemen, and how he’s reshaped the Middle East, but I’m not as optimistic. Perhaps all he’s really done is trigger a cabinet reshuffle among his enemies. The reality is, the only way to prevent future threats is to keep dropping bombs whenever necessary. Peace isn’t an option. Presumably, every terrorist leader killed in the last year has already been replaced. So, what’s actually changed? Maybe they have fewer weapons for now, but that’s only temporary, they’ll eventually restock unless the strikes continue. What other option is there when dealing with radical Islamists whose sole aim is to destroy Israel? There’s no chance of reprogramming them. They don’t understand peace. To them, it’s merely a pause in hostilities during these next 6 weeks to reorganize and come back stronger with the same murderous intent. At least Israel understands the dichotomy. The other side consists of maniacs driven by incomprehensible hatred. It’s baffling that there are people in this world willing to dedicate their lives to living in squalor, hiding in caves or tunnels, just to try and kill citizens of a Jewish state that they’ve never even met. What do they gain from that? Does that bring them happiness and prosperity? It’s hard for us to grasp how such barbaric minds operate. They aren’t humane. They cannot be reasoned with. The only viable solution is to continue destroying them, there’s simply no other way to deal with them.

I find anything from that Cheesy President (Trump) brand pretty much inedible.

Oh, my, GlitzyGammaGlobules, may I say? Ah, the downfall of HP. Such a tragedy. And all because of… a woman? It sounds like something straight out of a Southern Gothic novel. A proud empire brought to its knees, all in a matter of moments. But those calculators, Gamma… those calculators. They weren’t just tools. They were works of art. The tact switches alone were enough to make a grown person swoon. The way they clicked. The way they felt. You’re right—they were thrilling. Using one felt like you were commanding something far greater than just numbers. It was control, power, precision. Do I still RPN, you ask? Oh, GGG, I couldn’t imagine not using it. Once you’ve tasted the sweet elegance of RPN, there’s no going back. AN feels so… clumsy. It’s like drinking tap water when you know there’s champagne in the fridge. Of course, I don’t have my old HP anymore. How I miss it, though. Just thinking about it makes me a little misty-eyed. But an app to fully replace it? Hmm. I hadn’t considered that. Can an app really replicate the feel of those buttons? That satisfying click? Still, I might give it a try. If only to relive a bit of the magic. Do let me know which one you used. Even if it was eight years ago. Some things are timeless, after all. And RPN is certainly one of them. So yes, I still RPN. Perhaps not always in practice. But certainly in spirit. Every calculation I make, I think of those glorious HP days. A time when math wasn’t just math. It was art. Best regards, Tact Switch Devoteeeee...

Dear GammaGirl, Well, I must say, your passion for Reverse Polish Notation is positively thrilling. The way you describe it… faster, more convenient, more accurate. It sounds almost… intoxicating. I’m blushing just imagining you with your first RPN device. Fabulous! And Hewlett Packard, oh my. What a brand. Reliable, logical, dependable. It’s almost romantic, isn’t it? Those buttons, those clean lines. The kind of machine that knows exactly what you need and delivers it without hesitation. A love story for the ages, if you ask me. Please, you must show us a photo of your first RPN device. Was it rugged, handsome, built to last? Or sleek, modern, full of surprises? I can’t help but picture you, GammaGirl, cradling it in your hands, a glimmer of satisfaction in your eyes as the numbers fall perfectly into place. And as for people who don’t use RPN? Oh, darling, they’re simply missing out. Illogical doesn’t even begin to cover it. It’s like turning away a warm embrace for a cold handshake. Tragic, really. So, do you think there’s an app for RPN on the phone? I’d love to know. Though I doubt it could ever capture the sheer physical joy of the real thing. Best regards, RPN Curious (and maybe a little smitten)

In the photo it like the police are trying to grab a dic-pic selfie of him with his shorts on as evidence of his unit appearing in the videos. Not much good with his shorts on though. Or is that another one of their goofy so-called crime reenactment videos?

Has either a drug problem, deep mental health issues or both:

I suppose he wasn’t really thinking anything at all. He was merely trying to get his point across but lacked the vocabulary to do so, thus he likely recalled a vague association between the word ‘pow-wow’ and American Indians, though he had no clear understanding of its meaning. Then, on impulse, he made a clumsy hand gesture to his mouth that could have been mistaken for a crude mimicry of a homosexual sex act. Then the Thai man smiled, mainly out of embarrassment, and all the while eagerly anticipating the end of the haircut.

"India Daeng" is the word I was also taught by adult Thai friends many decades ago. Since I never studied Thai formally, all of my Thai vocabulary was acquired through conversations with Thais and I've never heard any other word in conversation used by Thais to reference American Indians. Also, Thai dictionary references will reflect "Indian Daeng", but I've always only ever heard it pronounced by Thais without the N on Indian. Mainly I assume because "Indian" (with the N) would be too difficult for them to pronounce. In addition, when they refer to Indians from India, they call them "Khon India" in Thai, again, leaving off the letter N at the end. Anyway, I don't think we need to continue to go on about this as this whole debate on the use of correct Thai vocabulary on this topic has seemingly been put to rest now.