B Fuddled

The procedure for the execution usually followed these guidelines during the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

1. After a prisoner had been sentenced to death by the court, his case would be presented to the King for a final approval.

2. Before the execution, the prisoner would be whipped for three rounds with 30 strokes for each round.

3. On the way to the execution place, the prisoner might be punished with the five instruments of restraint which were leg chain, handcuffs, neck chain, hard wooden stocks and waist chain.

4. Last meal would be provided for the prisoner and after that a monk would be invited to preach to him.

5. The prisoner had to sit down with both his legs stretched forward, and his body would be fastened to a wooden cross.

6. The prisoner's ears and mouth would be filled with clay, and the base of his neck which was going to be cut off, was also marked with clay. After that, the second executioner would continually dance with his sword in front of the prisoner and as soon as it was believed that the prisoner's mind was calm, the first executioner would then behead him from behind.

7. After the prisoner had been executed, both of his feet would be cut off at the ankles in order to take the leg chain off. After that, his flesh would be sliced and his body chopped up into pieces and then given to the vultures and crows.

8. His head would be placed on a sharp stick and displayed for everyone to see.

Cool!

A friend of mine was charged with assualt on a girl in a pharmacists, that is until the facts came out.

His name is Joe and he's from the maldive islands. He started at university recently and joined the potholing club. All new members have the piss taken and he was no exception. The chemists at the corner is where they all buy their condoms and "BIG MAX"

brand is a favourite. They told him he needed a thermos for the caving and he should go into the chemist and ask for a BIG MAX. So Joe goes in

Pretty young lady assistant; "What can I do for you?"

Joe says, "I'd like a BIG MAX please."

The girl smiles and says "Of course" and turns away, Joe interrupts her with "You have to make sure its a big one please" he calls out.

"A big one," says the girl colouring up

"It should be at least 15 inches" says Joe, " It needs to hold at least a litre because once I'm inside I could stay up to a week"

The girl staggers a little and says "Phew that sounds, amazing, but frightening too, you should.... take a picture"

"Oh" says Joe, "I've only got this old thing, nothing special, I'll just whip out my brownie..."

Thats when the girl falls and hits her head

Didn't see that one coming. You're on a roll Ratch. Got any more?

We don't use that word because someone's dead granny told them that it is a bad word and we are keeping that rich tradition of proper speech alive. How many times a day do people censor themselves because of what someone's dead granny knew to be proper?

Obey, don't think.

Go to "Start" > "All Programs" > "Accessories" > "System Tools" > "System Restore" From there you can choose a date to restore the system back to.

Thank you kindly.

Hi, can someone please outline the process for getting my computer back to operating as it did on a past date. I think that might solve the problem I'm having with accessing part of a certain site. Thanks for your help and patience.

BTW, the moment this thread is read by a mod it will be closed down.

It was an obvious attempt by the OP to stir up negative racial comments.

Shame on him.

C'mon, leave him be. I rush to open everything he posts. Keep it up OP. Very amusing.

It's the fat-cat politicians and society's MooHams and the like who have the boot against the majority of Thai's throats. Many Westerners are actually easing the pressure.

NEW YORK, NY, July 24, 2006 - A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by

means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to

themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are three sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had

wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

Someone told him Toxin screwed a country and became wealthy enough to buy a football club.

Remeber this guy?

Posted by: george 2004-02-03 21:48:40

Dog rape attempt goes astray

SAMUT PRAKAN: -- A Thai man was mauled when he drunkenly tried to rape a dog which fiercely resisted his advances, news reports said yesterday.

Police in Samut Prakan province, on Bangkok's southeastern fringes, told the Thai Rath newspaper that Toryip Rawang, 33, had been drinking heavily with friends before Monday's incident.

Toryip was questioned by police after residents of the area notified local authorities when they saw the bloodied man walking along a road.

He told police he noticed a brown female stray dog wagging its tail and "acting sexy" and pulled it into some tall grass by the roadside.

But the dog resisted, biting him on his face, chest and arms before he gave up his attempt and tried to stagger home.

Under further questioning Toryip admitted to previously raping three dogs while he was under the influence of alcohol.

He told police he always became aroused when he drank heavily but did not have enough money to pay a prostitute.

Police said Toryip had been given a rabies shot and was not charged with a crime, but he had fled his home in an apparent effort to avoid public ridicule.

--AAP 2004-02-03

A keeper for sure, thanks.

A tall Isan girl named Short long loved a big Mr. Little. But Little, thinking little of Short, loved a little lass named Long. To belittle Long, Short announced she would marry Little before long. This caused Little shortly to marry Long. To make a long story short, did tall Short love big Little less because Little loved little Long more?

I've always stayed at the Diamond Beach. For the location it's surprisingly quiet. It's very convenient, on Walking Street, and well kept. Approx. 850 baht

Try not to get too excited.

Do you get your jokes out of cornflakes boxes????????????

They're like cereal killers. You keep waiting for them to strike.

Now I can get off the Prozac. Welcome back.