fresnoboy

Larry gets home late one night and, Linda, his wife says, 'Where in the hel_l have you been?'

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Larry replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo.'

'A tattoo?' she frowned. 'What kind of tattoo did you get?'

'I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates,' he said proudly.

'What the hel_l were you thinking?' she said, shaking her head in

disgust. Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?'

'Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.

Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

Three, I like how money feels in my hand.

And, lastly, instead of your going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.'

Larry is recovering in room 232 at their local hospital.

Have been trying to grow tomatoes for some months and finally getting some results.

So the concept works, I can grow tomatoes, have to look out for some big juicy seeds now and start growing in earnest.

Great !! I am also trying to grow some 'Cherry Tomatoes', the seeds of which I brought back from the States.

I have about 90 cm of growth, with no fruit, yet. I hope to have some beauties soon !

I'll LUK if I succeed.

Hi ,, l am off to Pattaya tomorrow ,, a long drive from near Udon Thani ,,,,,,,,,,, beer ,, bargirls and massages ,,, Yeeeeee Haaaaaaaa ,,, giddy up ,,,,, my beloved wife and adorable kids are going too ,,, there goes a great weekend ,,,,,,,,,,, BUT my real problem is ,, l would like to find someplace that might be able to repair my Kodak DX camera ,,, it does everything except take photo's ,,, is there any joint in Pattaya that could do the job ???? ,,, thanks for any help ,

cheers

egg

I'm glad that it's not a Canon. I went to "Big Camera" with mine, they said that they would have to send it to their shop. A week later, it came back and they wanted 6K Bht to fix it. This Summer, I went to a shop in California and in 5 minutes it was fixed, no charge !

NEW YORK, Sept 27 (TNA) – Emphasising that Thailand is ready to help solve the world's food and energy problems, Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva has urged every country, including the superpower nations, to join hands in combating plague, poverty, terrorism and oil supply crises.

How can a national leader say that they are ready to "...help solve the world's food and energy problems...", when they can't eliminate or diminish the ongoing graft and corruption in their own country ?

Luxury Cars

Thanks to Obama, luxury cars are soon to be a thing of the past.

They have always been beyond my means but I took out a Cadillac

Escalade last week for a test drive, just to drive that sucker

before they become extinct.

The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and all it's

wonderful options. The seats were of particular interest. He

explained the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter

and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat..

I stated the car must be a Republican car.

He asked why I thought it was a Republican car and I explained if

it were a Democratic car the seats would blow smoke up your ass.

Yesterday I was at my

> local MAKRO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my

> loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout

> line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

> What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm

> retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that

> no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet

> again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I

> ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50

> pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with

> tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both

> arms.

> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that

> the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with

> Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel

> hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well

> and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here

> that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my

> story.) > Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care

> because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped

> off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us

> both.

> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was

> laughing so hard.

> MAKRO won't let me shop there anymore.

> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the

> time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward

> this (especially) to all your retired friends......

it will be their Laugh for the day.

LMAO

I agree, and I try. Sometimes I can, and sometimes I can't. I do my best.

After many shots I finally got logged onto my UBC site and it looks to me like ASN consists of many sports channels (same as last year with 2 new ones) and comes with gold and platinum levels, but only TrueSport 2 comes with the silver level, but when dealing with UBC one never knows. If they still subscribe to that crap ESPN China affiliate we won't get Sunday or Monday night games. Can't believe the cheap Stabards won't pay for ESPN International. Wonder if a email campaign would work to get them to change it?

Gold Listing:

* ASN

* TrueSport 1

* TrueSport 2

* TrueSport 3

* TrueSport 4

* TrueSport 5

* ESPN

* Star Sports

* TrueSport Extra 1

* TrueSport Extra 2

I'm curious ! I have UBC Gold and have had it for 2 years+. How do you get ASN ?

I don't.

I entirely agree !!

Unfortunately, as we know, the Thai reference manual to driving seems to be video games and these 'trash movies' like "The Fast and The Furious".

No one cares !

The police don't care, the politicians don't care.

Is this a joke map, or does it has some background?

I believe it's supposed to represent one of the 'master plans.' See here for more info...

Having seen these maps, and plans, my thought is that opium must still be readily available.

Life is unfair. I lost my car keys at a ball game and never found them.

I lost my sunglasses at the beach and never found them.

I lost my socks in the washing machine and never found them.

I lost three pounds on a diet -- I found them and five more!

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?' All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'

Nothing new

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/308788.stm

DOS (denial of service) attacks and trying to gain entry have been commonplace at all commercial sites for ages. I remember when the company I work for started its home shopping site circa 2002 it was attacked alot with DOS and attempted hacks. All successfully repelled. There's alot of money to be had protecting web sites and in IT security in general.

Can't see what they would be hacking in Thailand unless its webcam sites in Patpong or Cowboy.

A French doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

An American doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind.

We recently took a man with no brains, out of Illinois, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.'

I want to send a large number of small items from here to the UK and I've been told by someone that I can use REGISTERED airmail and once the item arrives in the UK it will be trackable using the parcelforce website, is this correct?

Thanks in advance for any help!

They say 'yes' but in my experience, "NO" is the answer. PTY>USA

regards

Cochran and Lost in LOS, thanks for your directions. I will try them out ASAP.

regards,

Try flying into Amsterdam then getting a flight to Edinburgh from there.

My wife and I are doing KLM from BKK-EDI with a stop in Amsterdam. in April and I'm sure that they will do the reverse.

how much was it?

thanks for the replies by the way

I can't help you with that as it is part of a RTW flight. I had to get the fare from the US as I couldn't get any response from our local agencies !

regards,

When you eat at restaurants so often, you're bound to find some really good ones and some...well, not so good. Last night we wound up with one of the best meals I've had in Pattaya.

A friend from work recommended Mike's Mexican Restaurant out near Jomtien, so we gave it a try last night. It was excellent.

The place is very unassuming in appearance - typical open-air establishment. But when we opened the menus for their drink selection, I was pleased to see that they had premium tequilas on offer. We each had a shot of Herradurra Anejo as a starter and enjoyed it very much. Then we had chips and salsa with a side of guacamole while our entrees were being prepared.

The guacamole is simply the best I've ever had. Period. It was not bland at all, which is my most common complaint about the stuff, and tasted very fresh (as did everything else we had here). The chips were warm and fresh. The salsa tasted like it had just been chopped and prepped as we ordered. A word of explanation here on the salsa - if you are expecting the heavy red sauce type of salsa (like in most US mexican restaurants, and most of the Pace or Ortega packaged goods in the market), this is not what they serve. It is a bowl of minced fresh ingredients, and its great. There's very little liquid or sauce in the bowl.

While we waited for the entrees (not to imply a long wait), my girlfriend indulged in a very infrequent treat and ordered a dessert. She asked them to bring it out immediately instead of at the end of the meal. It was their cinnamon fried bananas with ice cream. Another win. Warm and fresh and delicious, nothing extravagant about it, just a simple and good dessert.

Her entree was the beef chimichanga, with the spicy sauce. The sauce is not too hot, and according to a person in the restaurant (owner? manager? frequent guest?) is flavored with ancho chilies and cilantro, so nothing to be too concerned about Scoville-wise. The rice is good, but the refried beans are excellent. The beef was tender and flavorful.

Mine was the Monterey chicken fajita burrito. i'll say this is a must try if you go to Mike's. Outstanding. A lightly breaded and fried chicken breast, cut into chunks, then stuffed into a burrito with jalapenos and sauce.

The margaritas are picture-perfect.

Our only complaint was the pina colada was too sweet. Couldn't really taste the rum. But this is a very minor beef. We'll MOST definitely go back to Mike's. Strongly recommended.

Sounds good ! For the un-initiated (myself ) can you give directions ?

regards,

Keep at it MNG! I've been studying Thai for the past 6 months in Bangkok, and I now find that most Thais that I converse with, including strangers & "kon-kaai" actually like hearing a farang making an effort to learn the local language. I do come across a few locals who look at me as if I had spoken some foreign language to them, but that's probably because of my poor pronunciation with certain words (remember that most farangs have some type of accent). But the best way I have found to learn is to practice speaking Thai with Thais every day... because they usually will help you with corrections when needed... much cheaper than attending a Thai language school every day!

I'm sorry but, my wife doesn't know what "kon-kaai" means and so, I am at a loss to decipher your message.

Try flying into Amsterdam then getting a flight to Edinburgh from there.

My wife and I are doing KLM from BKK-EDI with a stop in Amsterdam. in April and I'm sure that they will do the reverse.

Spare the rod and spoil the child. I'm a firm believer that no one can reason with a child. They DO understand and remember a good swat. A good swat is preferable to a child getting hurt or even killed because they wouldn't listen to warnings about dangers.

I agree !!!!!!!!!

If more parents took time to discipline their children, there would be less violence and more social order. Just My Humble Opinion !

i too have always wondered about this.

Wonder no more Bro, most are right handed and they set on the right side when driving, now I can only speak for my lady but she insist on sleeping on the right hand side of the bed

So does my lady, but she's left-handed.

My wife just sleeps in the midle and I sleep on the edge.

55555555555555 That's me also !!!!

Can anyone give me some advice on how to get any satisfaction from Maxnet

I have there 2MG package here in our backwater in northern Thailand for 2 months. Its very slow, using speedtest.net, as Maxnet instructed, the download speed is usually between 380 and 420 and the upload similar. Difficult to stream video/tv and pages take ages to load at times.

After numerous phone calls and speed tests and checking things out [????] they tell me that problem is with TOT phone line which was installed to get this internet service from maxnet, and it is old and needs replacing.

Thats it, they are not interested. unfortunately i need the internet so dont want to cancel agreement. Is there any equipment that can boost the signal. Any suggestions

i can't offer any suggestions but, I would like to add my own frustrations from Pattaya. The last 4 days have been absolutely terrible, and friends from rayong have said the same. Speedtest.net now has the signal from Malaysia and nolonger comes from Bangkok. <deleted> is happening ?

And some people just cannot be happy. They are trying to stimulate tourism. A single entry visa will cover most of the short term tourists that come here.

Most Western short term tourists do not need a Visa. They get in for free anyway.

Exactly !!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry dont have the numbers, but if you go up to the Pattaya Sports Stadium on Chaiyapruek 2, you will see some people getting tuition most days (they use the huge car park!), some of the cars and pick ups have the phone numbers on them.

This is my wife's cousin ( and in-law). It is called Rewat Driving School and the number is 087-1455799.

They are on Thepprasit rd. a few meters away from Soi Korpai/Soi 6. My wife will be in the office to answer calls during business hours and speaks English reasonably well.

Good Luck

I'm sure that someone has coconuts or pineapple so,I am curious as I have been asked, what would the cost be to have starters of coconut and/or pineapple from 30 cm to 1 M. Any difference if you bought a quantity ? Any information appreciated !