jfchandler

Thanks very much for all the replies and comments... I take them all to heart.

I'm certainly not a newb here.... Nor was/am I planning to get married with her any time soon, or haul off and fork over 1 million baht for their family house. But I am trying to decide how best to respond to their request, and what to do about my relationship with the lady.

As much as I like the lady, I was very put off by both the family's request and the way they handled it. But it was ME who wanted to meet her family, as a way of trying to see what the future would hold in any relationship. So I knew exactly what I was doing...

The point of my post here was.... in reading here and Thai Visa and elsewhere... I regularly see posts about guys building houses for their Isan wives/families...and all the problems that can ensue from that. But I also see sin sod amounts ranging, depending on the lady and her status, from nothing to 100,000 to maybe 500,000 on the high end... So 1 million (for the house) seemed very high to me. But still, guys always seem to be building Isan houses... So... I'm still not really clear on that practice/expectation. (Neither I nor the TGF plan to move to her village any time soon, so we'd both be staying/living in BKK).

It's been my practice never to go looking for ladies in Isan, specifically to avoid that and similar kinds of problems. But, it so happened, I met this lady in Bangkok and I do think she's great...

Honestly, I'm not sure she knew about what her family was planning in advance.... The trip to KK was a very spur of the moment thing, initiated by me, not by her or her family. She had gone traveling with her family outside of KK for Song Kran, but they had cut short the trip early for other reasons and come back home. So, at that point since she was still on holiday from work, with a day's notice, I made the bus trip up to KK to meet them for the first time. Thus she and the family found out I was coming with not much more than 24 hours notice.

In all the time we've known each other, the lady has never been pushing for me to go to KK and meet her family. I always have been the one who had spurred that discussion.

I do also think a lot of the family's response was the result of what apparently the English bloke has done with the aunt. There is a strong sense of not wanting to be outdone by the others nearby. The GF also told me when he first arrived in Thailand and there, he had no sense of baht money. So when he arrived in their village, she said he started handing out 1000 baht bills to everyone he met (which for the record, she also thought, was a stupid, impolite thing to do).

I likewise asked, as the GF and I later talked about her family's response, what would happen to their existing house (which is a real house and not a shack, though it apparently has a lot of termite damage). She said the family would tear down the existing house first. I asked, so where would they live during that time? And she said something about temporary housing...and I didn't quite follow after that. All of this, is not making me feel like a happy camper.

Thanks again...

Just returned from a Song Kran trip to KK with my TGF where I wanted to (and did) meet her parents and family for the first time. It was a VERY interesting experience, and I could REALLY use some advice from the veteran Isan hands here --- my basic question is.... How reasonable/normal is their request????

First... some background.... I live in BKK, mid 40s, and I met the lady (mid 20s, never married, no children) a few months ago. She is a university graduate and working an office job in BKK now, but her family (Mom, Dad (a school teacher) and relatives) lives in a small village about an hour outside KK city. She never has had anything to do with the bar scene or P4P... I think she's great and beautiful, and we made a good couple together. When we're together, I always cover our expenses as the man.. But she's never asked me for any money or to pay for anything, and sometimes instead wants to pay for things herself (such as shopping) from her own salary money.

So, we stayed at the Kosa Hotel, and her family (Mom, Dad and two aunts) drove into town. We met together at the hotel for about two hours talking and getting to know, and then went for dinner together. They wanted to go to MK at the nearby mall, and I paid of course. And then after dinner, I bought a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black as a gift for her father, since I wanted to get a greeting gift for the family. By my TGF's account that night, the meeting and evening went fine, and she told me her parents liked me and were happy.

So the next morning, we're staying in the hotel and the family has gone back to their village, and my GF is talking on the phone with her mom. Then, off the phone, and quiet quiet, not talking any more. Then hugging me and crying crying.... Finally, after about an hour of coaxing, she finally tells me her family doesn't think I can "take care" of her. Then more more talking, and finally the next day, she tells me her Mom told her the family doesn't want her to see me any more at all. All of this, I find pretty strange and shocking, since I'm not lacking in resources, and have a professional career and demeanor... not a scruffy backpacker.

So, while not expert in the ways of Isan, I have learned a bit during my time in Thailand, so I ask the GF to put two questions to her family: why do they think I can't "take care" for her, and what can I do to make the family feel comfortable with us as a couple? More phone calls and talking, and then finally the answer is relayed: the family has an old house (western, not rural Thai style), but they want me to build a new house for the family in their village on their land, assuming we get married. And the idea is, the parents would live there, and there'd also be a place for the GF and I when we come from BKK to stay in the village at times.

It also seems, my TGF has an aunt in the village (late 30s, two children, divorced from Thai husband) who recently has acquired an English BF. And while I'm not sure they are actually married, the TGF tells me he has just finished building a new two bedroom house for him and the lady and her children that cost above 1 million baht. So, my GF tells me that everyone in her family and the village would be happy if I did the same like that, about 1 million baht.

So, my GF's basic idea (after talking to her family) is we would get married and I'd pay to build the house for her family. The family wouldn't be looking for any sin sod (other than the house) and wouldn't need to have a wedding ceremony/party or baht gold, etc. Now, at 1 million baht, that works out to about $32,000 U.S., which is well within my ability to afford.

But, as much as I like/love this lady, the way her family handled the situation really has put me off. I remember someone saying that when you marry a Thai lady, you don't just marry her, you also marry her family. So basically, the family doesn't care if their daughter has a formal wedding or a wedding party or baht gold or whatever. They care if her husband builds a house for the family. And more than anything else, they seem concerned that whatever we do "shows" to everyone else in the village that their daughter married a farang who can take care....

I'm not sure what to do about all this... I think this lady is a keeper for me... But, the family gives me the creeps.... And, add to that, the fact that basically I'd have no legal ownership/rights to the KK house that I'd paid to build, because of the laws in Thailand re farang property ownership...and all the horror stories about those kinds of situations.

Or, maybe I'm just not understanding of the normal custom for an Isan family about these things... Help!!!!!!!

Been to both Coyote on Soi Convent and Sunrise near Suk Soi 12 numerous times....

Gotta agree with Greg. Coyote has him beat hands down when it comes to 1) the vast breadth of their margarita menu, 2) the "suay" factor of the serving ladies, and 3) the advantages/comforts of a newly done, upmarket sit-down restaurant.

But, for almost everything else, including the biggies of value, price and the flavor/authenticity of the food, I'd argue Sunrise comes out on top of Coyote. And, as an aside, Sunrise also mixes a darned good regular and mango margarita at a good price.

When I want an evening out or want to run the gauntlet of flavored margaritas, I'd choose Coyote. But when I want to eat good, hearty Mexican-style food at a good price, I'd pick Sunrise every time...on their "good" days.

PS - Don't forget Charlie Brown's just off of Suk Soi 11 - they make a tasty regular margarita, have the advantages of a sit-down restaurant, some nice "hometown" Thai ladies on staff, and a mountain order of good nachos that I wish Sunrise would take a lesson from.

Thanks for offering that suggestion....

Nonstop is, of course, the least complicated for a first time flyer...

But...for whatever it's worth, the transfer on EVA in Taipei on their stopover for the BKK to LA trip is very easy, and usually involves about a two-hour break -- just time to get a snack or drink or restroom visit, etc.

You get off the plane, the ground staff point everyone down the one main hallway, go just past their transfer counter, have your hand luggage xrayed again, and then go up an escalator to the departure lounge for the connecting flight.

The gates are clearly marked with big letters and with good signage... like C4 or C5....

But, ladies being ladies... you never know what might happen!!!

If you end up buying the ticket thru a travel agent in the U.S., these guys in Orange County have a good relationship with Thai Air.... http://www.thailandvacationtour.com/

You might also ask them about your options for obtaining/delivering the ticket... or better yet...ask these same questions direct to the Thai Air Customer Service folks.

PS - Here are some past TV posts on the credit card/other flyer subject. As you can see below, it appears there are some options for doing this. But, it's surely dependent on the individual policies of that airline, so really, that's who you need to be talking to:

Jandajoy 2008-01-28 16:34:18 I bought an eticket on line with BA, from the UK for my GF to fly BKK - LHR. She got to airport checkin and was asked for the creditt card. She ecplained the situation and ended up phoning me on her mobile. She then put me on to the checkin desk and I gave them my c/c number. No worries. Bit daft but might be worth remembering for the next poor sod.

happy days

dash 2008-01-29 18:12:41 Buying a ticket with credit card for a third person : from SQ pages

if you are not part of the travelling party,you are required to sign and present a Letter of Indemnity and your payment card for verification at the nearest SIA Ticketing office before travel is allowed.

Posted by: begsaresponse 2007-12-09 12:05:32

Well of course This Is Thailand. I've never actually done it that way, but I have purchased a ticket for another person (a Thai woman) from Bangkok to Singapore. I was in Copenhagen at the time. I was going to BKK but wanted to spend a few days in Singapore first. I purchased a 3rd party ticket on SAS airlines in Copenhagen for their flight from BKK to SIN. She just picked up the ticket at the airport (then Dong Maung) in BKK. Needed her Thai ID card as proof, no problem once she showed that. I'm surprised the airlines in BKK don't seem to want to do that, but as I said TITS.

I'm guessing the suggestion re shopping malls was possibly more aimed at the ladies shopping there -- not only the sales staff of the store.

I haven't gone the shopping mall route myself... But I have noticed, in places like the Emporium, there's an added benefit of a shopping mall being combined with an office tower. Thus that means at lunch time, and throughout the day and evening, there are scores of very attractive young Thai office ladies going to and fro...lunching, shopping, etc etc.

It's always nice, I think, to look for a female companion in an environment where a) you know they have a decent job outside the sex industry; and/or you know they have at least some money by virtue of their shopping or noshing in the malls.

There also are many exceptionally attractive women riding the Skytrain, as suggested. However, it seems to me the atmosphere there is not particularly conducive to striking up a first time conversation, with 50 other passengers within easy earshot, and the Thai woman more than likely not wanting everyone else on board to see her flirting with a farang!!!!

Try the Department Stores ! Lots of nice girls in Central etc.

Naka.

As one of my Japaneese freinds said of Japan Airlines stewardesses: JAL girl only good for looking. Many attractive sales girls, no doubt. Few of them speak any English. I have never met one in my several trips there, who had the slightest interest in me. (No nasty comments about my appearence please, since you don't know what I look like).

TG (Thai Air) is the only carrier I know that goes non stop from BKK to LAX.

It's always a hassle to try to buy even an E-ticket for someone else when the purchaser (name on the credit card) is not also traveling.

It seems to me, I remember, a recent post here where someone was talking about having done that, by providing his GF a photocopy of his credit card and maybe passport too to provide at the airport counter, and saying that was accepted.

You might do a search here on TV for that subject. But in all likelihood, it wasn't involving Thai Air, so they'd certainly be enforcing their own policies on this kind of subject.

Also, it wasn't clear from your post whether you're trying to arrange a round trip or one-way ticket.

I just did another visa run last week with this company:

http://thaivisarun.com/map.htm

They go to Ban Leam at the Cambodia border from Ekamai BTS for about 2000 baht total on a VIP bus including Thai food lunch onboard. Every time I've used them, their service has been great. And Ban Leam by many accounts is a much better (quicker, less hassle) choice that Poipet...

One thing to note: I particularly noticed this time, at the border crossing, the Thai immigration folks had printed signs posted saying proof of onward travel (outside Thailand) would be required for anyone entering the Kingdom without a visa (i.e. 30 day entry stamp on arrival).

I have a B visa, so that didn't pertain to me. But a bunch of other people onboard were in that status. But no problem. The visa run company, I gather, has an arrangement to provide some tickets that satisfy that requirement as part of their service, bus ticket I think, but not sure.

They also were offering Sunday departure tourist visa trips for a total package price of 5,900 baht, I believe.

1m baht sin sod for a hill tribe girl is CRAZY!!!!!!

Love is a fine thing. But the Mom is totally out of her mind.

Go down that road, and you'll get what you deserve.

The telephone number portability thing, mentioned as background in the article, seems great and has already been doing elsewhere outside of Thailand.

But the zip code thing seems stupid, and I don't get it. Companies can save money by not having to re-print stationery when they move???? How can they do that? Some business moves to a new location...and they keep using their old stationery with their old street address???? How does that help anything??? Customers will be showing up at their closed Silom address, when in fact they've moved to Sukhumvit. But the company won't have to change its zip code????? Of course any business moving would need to update their info with their NEW STREET ADDRESS.

SILLY!!!

OUCH!!!!!

Soggy fries, ice in the milk shakes, raw-uncooked hamburgers, etc. etc.

You guys are rapidly talking me out of giving them a first try...

I can put up with a bit... But, I don't want to waste my eating out money on dog food!!!!

If you mean open and closing times daily, apart from the impending permanent closure, I was there last weekend. Everything opened about 5 pm in the afternoon and stayed open until well into the night. I remember the food/entertainment court staff telling me they stop serving at 1 am... I had asked because of the early closure things going around much of BKK lately with the new government at the helm. The product shops tend to stay open into the night, but begin gradually winding down toward 11 and midnight.

To those who don't know, Suan Lum is a huge sprawling place, filled with rows and rows and rows of all different sorts of shops, and likewise many pleasant Thai and other restaurants, most of which have outdoor patio seating that makes for a very pleasant evening out. But my personal favorite, as has been mentioned above, is the huge outdoor food court and entertainment stage, that offers drinks at your table and then you can go around to dozens of individual food shops and pick your choice of everything Thai food you can imagine, all at pretty darn cheap prices. It makes for a great evening out with friends, family or others.

Indeed, this dispute has been going on for at least a couple of years. I remember seeing a newspaper report back when I was a tourist a few years ago indicating the place was to be shut down in favor of the looming hotel project. But it seems now, that reality, is coming closer to fruition. I was there last week a couple of times, and everything was open as usual, but who knows how long that will last.

The sad thing, I think, is there seems to be no public sign that Thai people in BKK or even the tourism-related parts of the city or the government are waging any kind of effort to save the place. I don't think there is anything else quite like it anywhere in Bangkok. I'll be very sad if indeed it does get demolished.

I certainly don't condone "swindling," but it's hard to tell from the OP just how the companies failed to honor their agreements.... Probably that's due to the customarily incomplete reporting in the local news media.

But, the report talks about the company soliciting men, and helping arrange meetings with suitors in different places. That sounds like what they presumably were hired to do. Dunno if the ladies were expecting a money-back guarantee...as in... no marriage...no pay????? It seems there's NEVER any guarantees for any purchases here.

I love these matchmaking services...not just in KK but all around Isan... My favorite part is where the companies, or the local lady arranger, has a deal to take a cut of the sin sod or who knows God what else...

Yes, I'd concur.... the presentation really is A LOT fru fru.... And...the portion of fries is A LOT stingy!!!!

For my personal taste, I like the wider, flater burger approach. I have the feeling you get a better taste that way, because more of the other ingredients can mix with the beef in your mouth. When it's a thick and small burger patty, it ends up being just a big bite of meat into your mouth, not to mention being finished in just a couple bites.

I'll stop by to give them a try, but the presentation doesn't exactly inspire great confidence... Based on looks, I'd still give Bully's burger the edge.

I'd add an endorsement for the Royal Benja... near Foodland Supermarket and Nana BTS.

Very nice rooms for the price, especially on the higher floors that have a nice view. Great buffet breakfast, one of the nicest I've had. I've heard mixed reviews about their roof pool, but not tried it personally. They have an in hotel internet area, but it's ridiculously expensive, so look elsehwhere for that.

Interaction I had there with the staff was very good. I stayed there with my Thai GF at the time, and we never got second looks from the staff (though I wasn't bringing home a different lady every night, either).

Asiarooms.com and PassionAsia.com are always good indicators of fair hotels prices for BKK.

Shopping at Villa Market on Suk Soi 11 the other day, I came across what looked like some good bread that I hadn't seen before, so I bought a couple loafs of the raisin variety to take home... And..it was GOOD!!!!

With good bread around BKK relatively rare, that sent me scurrying to figure out...what it was. The package had a small label saying Zgi Cafe on Sukhumvit Soi 24. I'd never heard of it, and a search here on TV produced no results...

So, I went searching more broadly on the Internet and found a few references and photos of a nice cafe that opened on Soi 24 a year or so ago, with bakery downstairs and cafe upstairs... natural ingredients...no gluten... very nice.

Then in looking more, I found just one brief blurb that mentioned the cafe supposedly had closed... but that their bakery products were still being available at Villa Markets...

Though if the cafe closed, it made me wonder whether the baked goods at Villa are just a temporary, close-out product -- or whether the bakery folks at Zgi are continuing in a wholesale mode instead of direct retail...

Anyone know what's happening with this??? The bread was really good...and only 35 baht per loaf!!!!

I thought this was a discussion about English food. If it's going to swerve into talking about bar girls, it really belongs in a different forum!!!!

I challenge you to pistols at dawn in the English Club. I find your critique most unamusing and thus feel compelled to defend the honour of the BKK chippie trade

God Save The Queen

Had a night out last weekend and went looking for a nice place in BKK (air con, wait staff, real chairs!!!) to enjoy good Isaan food, with mixed results.

The Internet is a great information resource, but it also has its pitfalls, particularly regarding the shelf life of information. Had seen a variety of pretty good online reviews for a place called Sarah-Jane's in the Sindhorn Tower on Wireless Road. But upon arrival, discovered it had been (long?) gone. Lesson here... always call first!!!

Anyone know what happened to it? And did its supposed second branch on Sukhumvit Soi 26 survive or also depart this world?

So, after that miss, headed for a sure destination at Cafe de Laos on Silom Soi 19. Must say, it's a beautiful, charming restaurant LOCATION, with indoor and outdoor garden seating, cloth napkins, pretty good wait staff, a very broad menu, and prices generally in the 100-200 baht per entree range.

That was to the good. But after ordering a range of fairly standard Isaan dishes, found that the food was well-prepared and presented, but really lacked the fire and bite of authentic Isaan food that I'm more accustomed to. So I can only presume it had been "falang-ized" to fit with the prevailing clientele in the area. Interestingly, at about 8 p.m. on a Saturday night, the restaurant also was nearly deserted.

As a side note, we tried their version of beef larb, and while a bit tame, much to my surprise found some of the best Thai food beef (Thai food means I'm excluding steak dishes here) that I've found served in Thailand - very thinly sliced, absolutely tender, cooked just right, no fat or other stuff... It restored my faith a bit that it is possible to occasionally find a "good" Thai food dish here prepared with beef.

In the week before, also paid a return visit to Ventiane Kitchen in Sukhumvit with a ground of Thais who originally hailed from Isaan. Both they and I enjoyed a variety of dishes over a couple visits, and likewise for the Thai music and dance/swordplay shows in the evening. All positive comments from my Thai friends about the quality and authenticity of the food there (they enjoyed, but I passed on the ant egg soup), despite the place's reputation as a bit of a tourist destination.

On the flip side, a recent visit to Steak Lao's branch on New Petchburi Road confirmed what a variety of other posters have said. The Thai food (we didn't order steak) and prices were OK, pretty decent... But the service was exceptionally bad, almost to the point of being non-attentive and at times seemingly surly -- and that was during a weekday lunchtime when the restaurant was quiet with few customers.

I already know what others will say... stick to street food when you want Isaan... But, there are times when you just want some without having an accompanying appetizer of clouds of diesel bus fumes.

When I relocated here, I used a Los Angeles-based shipping company Rama International Inc. (meaning sea shipping) that sent 20 variously sized boxes (up to 3 cubic feet each) to BKK (including delivery to my apartment) for a total of $650 U.S.

I know, from asking, they have a local office here in the BKK area as well. Phone 02-589-4925. The staff there, when I called regarding delivery here, pretty much only speak Thai. But, they did a good job and delivered my belonging about a month after their departure from L.A.

Most of the Thai folks I know in Los Angeles and the S.F. Bay area use them for their U.S. to Thailand shipping. But I have no idea how they'd deal with a more "exotic" location such as Minnesota.

For just 3 boxes, the best route probably would be to use the Internet to variously price the Fed Ex and DHL shipping rates for the size/weights you have, and then compare.

I had to get a U.S. bank-related document notarized recently for purposes of opening a new account.

Went to Sunbelt Asia's Office in Fortune Town in BKK, and paid I believe 600 baht (per document). They had been advertising their notary service in some publications. Took 15 minutes and I was gone. Sent the document, and no problem in the U.S.

I presumed he was a "teacher"....

I flunked him all the more...for that very reason.

Just hope he's not teaching English to Thai kids....

From the quality of the OP's writing, I'd say, it's time to GO BACK to school...

Gives me a headache... just looking at it, much less trying to comprehend it.

Grade for this term.... F-

Hi finished at school in phitsanulok ...

Yes, that sounds like a similar approach to the BofA linking to BKKB New York branch approach.

However, you might want to check the details of your BKKB transaction at the Thailand end. BKKB has a standard processing fee for incoming international funds (I think between 200 and 500 baht depending on the incoming amount).

You might not notice that, since it wouldn't be deducted or show up at the Ameritrade end. But, I'd be pretty certain BKKB deducted their cut at the Thailand end out of your gross proceeds. So, it's not exactly "free" at the Thailand end.

I found a way to get my transfers online [without calling] to my bangkok bank account free. tried it twice now and there doesnt seem to be a limit. no charges from either bank

i have an account in the US with ameritrade. if you are an apex customer [more than 100k in the account] you can transfer anywhere free into the US as long as both account names match. i set up ameritrade for the transfer with bangkok bank NY info and my thai account number. the first time i tried it ameritrade said to call them, i did and had to answer lots of questions to verify. they made that transfer a week ago with no problems or fees. this time i tried it online with the same setup and it went through automatically with no fees at either end

i tried the bank america was and that worked with minor fees and a cap fo 10k but this seems the way to go if you have both accounts

hope this helps some of you guys