WOOHOO

Maybe he encountered an unexpected situation which he was unequipped to deal with..........that makes it his fault then does it?

I have highlighted below the billd766 comment and your response - don't worry I don't think having a selective memory affects your ability to be a good father!!

QUOTE (billd766 @ 2010-04-17 15:31:56) I have about 80% hearing in my left ear and 70% in the right ear. Often I have to turn to look at someone who is speaking to me from behind.

I no this is harsh and some people won't like it, but.... perhaps five years ago wasn't such a good time to have a kid then. At your age, you will not be able to be a good, all round parent, as far as I'm concerned. The stuff you can do, you may do very well, but not being able to be the complete package, I think is slightly selfish to say the least

Yes it does make it his fault, 100%. If the unexpected situation you are referring to, is having all his arms and legs chopped off in an accident, perhaps I'll give him a break. An unexpected situation, of less magnitude than that, will never be a good enough excuse to neglect your duty as a parent. There's a lot more to being a dad than sticking your penis somewhere nice. That's what separates men from mangy, street dogs. Well it should do at least!

If you weren't to busy painting the post pretty colours, you may have read that I was referring to his age, (which his deafness was a side affect) not his deafness itself. I do not have a selective memory, I assure you.

if you live in a place where people that live in a holiday place come for their holdiay, then you've found a special place, as I still consider Phuket to be.

Exactly. Millions of people work hard all year just to spend two weeks here. That says a lot.

For me it's not just Phuket itself, it's the whole region. I have just enjoyed a couple of days in Krabi, and the lovely drive through the back roads to get there. You could spend 10 life times here and not see all there is to see in the area, especially not the islands off shore.

Best beachfront bars are in Chalong and Rawai. Your loss.

I try not to use icons, but how would you put this in to words...

On the plus side though, at least you're a cheap date.

I had no idea when you were talking about the tourist center of Phuket, you were referring to Chalong and Rawai. I assumed you meant Patong, Karon and Kata. Down there you are miles away from everything!! What tourist facilities do you have down there apart from a scanky zoo? People in Cherng Talay would beat you to Patong, Tesco, Central, Phuket Town and pretty much everywhere else.

So you're telling me half a rai down there costs more than half a rai near Bang Tao beach? I'm not up to date with my land prices, but that sounds dodgy to me.

Anyway, doesn't really matter, because the term is still relative, and will be different for everybody.

Why do posters think blame needs to be apportioned? I doubt that this scenario was somehow by design.

When kids are brought in to the world, a 'design' as you put it, is a must. If you want to fall through life with no responsibilities, good luck to you, just DON"T HAVE CHILDREN.

Already have 2 lovely well balanced children, thank you, who are enjoying life to the full, keen to learn, but most of the credit goes to their wonderful mother. A mother who I did not design - she came ready made. For my part I am rewarded by the unconditional love displayed by my children, naturally, also not by design.......

You on the other hand think deaf people should not be allowed children.......sad.....who designed you?

Not sure what the deaf comment is in refference to? I don't recall ever saying that. I do however have issues with people with dissabilities, which will probably be passed on to their children, having kids, if that's not selfish I don't know what is, but I don't recall ever mentioning that either though.

Anyway my critisizm wasn't aimed at you. It was aimed at your defence of the person being described by the OP. You immplied it was just an accident he ended up being a shit father, just one of those things, shit happens eh!!

i'm an english man living in thailand; a falang is always going to b a falang, but you can interact better or worse depending how well you can adapt, go with the flow, relax, communicate or however you want to put it.

i ticks a few of your points, but would not want to be said like a try to b thai, i'm an individual changed by experience from all over the world, firstly england but many other place too, thailand has played a big part because of my life here; what you do / experience in you own country can be influence alot by other cultures aswell, through music film etcetc this is a global world we're living in. For example my mate at uni went to a school where as a white boy he was in the in the minority. where i was born in hammersmith we've probably got 10-20 or more differrent nationalities.

religion wise information is out there and my generation of english i think question everything and look for thier own answers not just place faith in something because there told to; travel and life have helped the thought formations for sure which is why i think travel and varied experience is good for peoples brains; if your beleifs, opinions and personality is exactly the same as when you left school or were living in the same place all your life then you cant of been doing much thinking.

i've met lots of people here who have lived here for years and years but still hold the most ignorant points of view, normaly those who have spent all thier time in bar girl social and tourist ghetto, but not exclusively. old people seem to have trouble letting go of their conditioning naturaly. like my grans generation with their irrational racism, rest her soul, just closed brains but doesnt nessarcarily mean bad people.

none of your points on their own realy help; an open mind is probably most useful

Perfect answer. Not only for this thread, but you could cut and paste it, and use it in a lot of others as well.

The points I have listed are examples of statements by Farangs why they are more Thai than other Farangs.

Nothing to do with being open minded or fitting in. Simply the kind of reasoning used by some Farangs to claim more Thainess.

That's just it. I don't remember hearing a lot of people claiming to be more Thai than others. I do however, constantly hear people talking about how other people think this way.

People accusing other people of trying to be more Thai seem to be the ones with the issues.

I disagree. I think your OP has everything to do with an open mind, and a desire to embrace a culture that has taken your fancy. It would seem to me, the less ability you have in this area, the more likely you are to criticize others of 'trying to be Thai'.

Why do posters think blame needs to be apportioned? I doubt that this scenario was somehow by design.

When kids are brought in to the world, a 'design' as you put it, is a must. If you want to fall through life with no responsibilities, good luck to you, just DON"T HAVE CHILDREN.

I have about 80% hearing in my left ear and 70% in the right ear. Often I have to turn to look at someone who is speaking to me from behind.

I no this is harsh and some people won't like it, but.... perhaps five years ago wasn't such a good time to have a kid then. At your age, you will not be able to be a good, all round parent, as far as I'm concerned. The stuff you can do, you may do very well, but not being able to be the complete package, I think is slightly selfish to say the least.

Hmmm, ok and it's because he's English that there should be low expectations of him?

I've only spent four weeks with my girlfriends two lovely daughters who are 9 and 6.

Does that mean you have only been with her for four weeks? If that's the case, those children shouldn't be calling you Pappa, in my opinion. You seem like a nice bloke who's doing right by them, but being a father figure to kids you have known for four weeks is not good, lets face the facts there is a chance things could go belly up any time. Where does that leave the kids? Without a Pappa, AGAIN!

No, we've been together for almost a year. We wanted to be as sure as possible that we had something that was going to last, well as sure as anyone can be, before involving the kids. I take this very seriously and have not entered into it lightly at all. I fully understand, and share, the concerns you have expressed. The kids, until October last year, lived with her sister, now their Mother has joined them and I visit when I can.

As with any relationship there is always a chance for it to go belly up, and we are both aware of the difficulties but with love, communication and hard work I think we'll be OK.

In which case I beg your pardon. Good luck to you.

The funny bit is, that they are all to stupid and arrogant, to realise their bar girl wives never stopped behaving like bar girls either, and they're most definetaly at it as well.

The really funny bit though, is when it all goes tits up and the bar girl ends up with everything and the Farang, just enough for a plane ticket home.

bon voyage.

Zero.

Out of interest, how many of your friends struggled to get even one girl friend in their own country?

She will get a lot of Thai from the extended family (and Lao-Issaan unfortunately)

You dont like Lao and Isaan? What happened mate, too many sick buffalo to pay for?

Or MIL got a case of the green eyed monster and wanted a mansion built? I think its

very fortunate there is Lao and Isaan, they are noble and gracious people....

Perhaps the poster meant that it was an issue, as it was a third language thrown in to the melting pot, instead of just two to learn, and that he doesn't have any issues with where his wife's from in general. Just a thought.

Well sorry to disappoint you but in fact it can happen again tomorrow same place. Two years ago an R.N. research ship sent an unmanned sub to the site and found the seabed had subsided some 400m. They concluded it was now more unstable than before and another one could occur next week, next month or next year. Time to move.

(ex R.A.N.)

So RN (I presume Royal Navy) concluded that within one year there would be another tsunami here? Somehow I seriously doubt that was the conclusion of their research.

Actually they did the research two years ago, and concluded it could happen next week, next month, or next year. So a year has already passed since their prediction failed!!

I absolutely guarantee there WILL be another Tsunami to hit Phuket. You can bank on it. In fact I'll bet you one trillion baht.

Any takers.

Means nothing without a time scale. The sun will undoubtedly stop burning and implode one day, but I'm not planning my next holiday around it.

Using someone elses card is not a good idea ! Could be a problemwitht he bank / police etc. Also ther eis nothing stopping the account owner cancelling the card or getting another one issued fortheirown use. I see this is a family member , but Caveat Emptor - TIT.

How many times are you going to insinuate, that his own niece is going to rip him off??

There is no law against using somebody elses ATM card if you have their permission. I think he can decide weather he can trust his own family members or not, don't you?

The limits on cash that can be brought in or out of countries, normally applies to un declared money. If you wish to declare, then either there is no limit, or if there is, it is much much higher.

Well sorry to disappoint you but in fact it can happen again tomorrow same place. Two years ago an R.N. research ship sent an unmanned sub to the site and found the seabed had subsided some 400m. They concluded it was now more unstable than before and another one could occur next week, next month or next year. Time to move.

(ex R.A.N.)

It would be more logical to stop crossing the road for fear of being run over, than it would to move house for fear of a tsunami.

Being more unstable than it was before doesn't mean a great deal on the grand scale of things. It was unstable before, but took probably millions of years to happen right there. Now it's more unstable, maybe it will only take one million years for it to happen again.

The world is changing dramatically, climate being the best example, but you have to have an understanding of probability. To say that it is likely to happen again, on a scale as large as that, any time soon, is simply wrong in my opinion.

Thai culture is based on who is superior to who, I doubt they see it as a problem and highly doubt they are trying to change it. One of the reasons I like it here. I don't have a problem with a culture that finds light skin and being smarter and richer than the other guy a good thing. Most so called racism comes from some groups poor behavior, am I a racist because I don't respond to Nigerian emails ? No Am I am racist if I think everyone from Nigeria is an internet thief ? Yes .... But people make their beds and have to sleep in them. If tourists had a good reputation for behaving themselves well people would think accordingly, but they don't. I am not offended if a Thai person who deals with drunken sex tourists on a daily basis isn't so willing or interested to find out if I am another one or not, it's an understandable response to a long pattern of behavior from Farangs. I didn't cause it, I'm not part of it and maybe it's a little unfair, but it would be even more unfair to expect or demand people not to be a little guarded when someone fitting the profile of a less then exemplary citizen comes along. My advice to stop racism in Thailand would be for tourists to learn to behave themselves well, before complaining about the way they are treated. I hope the world never becomes so PC that Thai people are pressured not to be racist to white people standing in Nana Plaza or similar places.

The best post I have read for a long time.

The OP once claimed in a post, that it was immposible for a Farang to have a Thai friend. He claimed the Thai person would always only be looking to make a buck from that relationship, and nothing else.

He quite clearly was trolling with this thread, and hoped to whip up a frenzy of anti Thai sentiment. Very refreshing to see that he failed misserably, and the vast majority of posters didn't jump on his band wagon.

OK so you understand, i return to Australia regularly and when i need extra funds in Thailand i go to the bank and they do a electronic transfer to my bank in Thailand and charge me $30 AUD no matter what amount i transfer which is much cheaper than travelers cheques, i talk to my bank manager in Thailand to confirm what rate the bank will pay me before i leave Thailand which depending on the amount you transfer will be travelers cheque price or better on the day of transfer, the Thai bank charges no fees where they would if i changed travelers cheques, when i opened my bank account in Thailand i had to do it myself and show my passport with visa stamps no one else could open a bank account for me so the OP cannot use his niece to open a account if the laws on banking are still the same.

I think The OP's niece is going to open the account in her name and then give him the ATM card. Thanks for taking the time to explain.

If I can ask for a break in the insult-fest, can I have some advice.

My daughter is now 4 months old. In our house my wife and I speak both English and Thai - I speak Thai when it's easy stuff (I have about 1,000 words but poor structure and want to learn a lot more).

Would the board recommend that I stop trying to speak Thai in the house when my daughter is in the early learning stages at least? Will it confuse her too much? She will get a lot of Thai from the extended family (and Lao-Issaan unfortunately)

It's a lot harder to do the right thing than it sounds. I would say, yes you need to stop speaking Thai. At your level of Thai she will be learning to speak Thai badly. No offence, the same goes for me. I think your wife only speaking Thai is also needed. (unless you wifes English is very good.) As I said, this is harder than it sounds. It was easy for me to stop speaking Thai, but my wife struggles to only speak Thai, as we have comunicated in English for years, so she ends up speaking both.

I don't think you need to over worry. If you're good parents, with your kids best interests to heart, they will come out on top, one way or the other.

Sorry Woohoo, I have just added you to my ignore list, so no point in your replying to me any more.

Now I know how those kids feel.

calm down. op is doing more than what thai parents are doing. baby steps, at least they have food and water!

Farangs cant save all whats wrong w thailand!

Food AND water. So that's why I never win father of the year. He always beats me to it.

While we are all busy making assumptions ... can we assume you speak, read and write no Thai.

You may. You have made so many wrong assumptions so far, no point stopping now.

i doubt op is biological poppa. or he would take interest in speaking to said kids.

i bet its one of those marriages made over a beer!

That's Ok then, we don't have to worry about the children being raised by a waist of space because they are not his.

As I said, when it comes to children, having a, couldn't give a shit, attitude is unacceptable. If you're in their life, you owe it to them to do what's right. If you can't, do them a favour, and get the <deleted>$k out of their lives.

The difficult part of that is learning Thai. The rest comes if you're planning on living here long-term.

Sorry but Total bol*&%ks, How do you know, are you a Thai citizen yet, have you even tried?

Citizenship is limited and discretionary, learning Thai is not hard, merely another obstacle put in our way by a government that doesn't want us here.

l wonder how many ThaiVisa members have managed to become citizens.

Let's make a guess ......... 3 out of 100,000 ....... am I close?

I doubt there are any Farang citizens. Permanent Residents maybe.

Sorry mate, you're just high lighting your ignorance there.

The number is very low, and why shouldn't it be. Why would you allow someone in to your country that not only won't improve things, but will undoubtedly make it worse. If only the UK thought of that 20 years ago it wouldn't be such a shit hole now.

Hmmm, ok and it's because he's English that there should be low expectations of him?

I've only spent four weeks with my girlfriends two lovely daughters who are 9 and 6.

Does that mean you have only been with her for four weeks? If that's the case, those children shouldn't be calling you Pappa, in my opinion. You seem like a nice bloke who's doing right by them, but being a father figure to kids you have known for four weeks is not good, lets face the facts there is a chance things could go belly up any time. Where does that leave the kids? Without a Pappa, AGAIN!

So according to you, it's about time other governments started treating Thai nationals like the Thai government treats foreigners in Thailand then.

When a Thai lady moves to the western world, no land ownership, no citizenship, 90 day reporting, etc.

After all you seem to believe it is the right thing to do.

To assume the same rule is appropriate for all countries is stupid. If someone came to the UK and married a girl they met in a bar two months earlier and will be divorced from in two months time, then it's safe to say they won't be getting citizenship any time soon.

Can you not close your eyes and imagine what Thailand would be like if the average Farang was able to buy land here. A giant Thailand sized Pattaya. No thanks.

i know, so many guys get it so wrong here... i feel really bad for some of my friends who have been so horribly cheated here by their poor choice of women.

I liked your other posts but don't agree with that. We're supposed to get all the confusion and crushes, and broken hearts etc etc, out the way when we're in our teens. There is no excuse for grown men entering relationships, that the stray dog sitting out in the street, is smart enough to know won't last. No sympathy I'm afraid.

The difficult part of that is learning Thai. The rest comes if you're planning on living here long term. Some people who've lived here longer than required can barely even order fried rice. Guy talked about in the OP has been involved with his wife and child for at least 8 years and can not even hold a basic conversation with his own child. His problem would not be paper work.

Exactly. But there are people who think he should get the red carpet all the way to citizenship. What could he possible input in to this country to make it better, and how long would he even be the pathetic presence he is now, after he had his paperwork. Those kids wouldn't see him for dust. Which ironically would improve their chances of a decent future considerably.

Hopefully this poor bastard, that had the misfortune to meet LIE, has never heard of ThaiVisa and is peacefully going about his life in total ignorance of the crap that's being thrown at him here!

Anyone that would call that man a poor bastard, needs help. I do hope you don't have kids as well, because they I'm sure would need help as well.

As people have said. Thailand is full of selfish low life, getting their basic dog like needs, attended to. I have no issue with that what so ever. The bar girl gets abused. The punter gets robbed, who gives a shit. When children are involved, be it by birth or by the fact you've hooked up with someone who's got kids already, it's a different ball game. It's time to put their feelings and future, and happiness before your need to empty your sack.

If you think it is more appropriate to criticize the OP, than it is the man who blatantly neglects his children, then you are nearly as bad as he is.

I met another English guy today, he said to me ......

I can't ever be a Thai citizen, I can't own land, I will never be allowed to be more than a foreigner here, so why should I make any effort to learn the language or take any responsibility for any children I father here. They don't want me here so @$3& em.

I can sort of understand his point of view (pretty much every other country in the world will offer a spouse/parent citizenship).

The Thai government clearly don't want us here as more than tourists!

Can I also point out to the self righteous brigade that many Thai ladies actively discourage their English-speaking partner from learning ANY Thai, my former gf would go so far as to deliberately tell me wrong words when I was trying to learn, and this is a very common attitude.

It is possible to become a Thai citizen if you're a Farang, but thankfully, you have to do a bit more than hump someone. It would be a bit like giving a dog a treat every time it humped a cushion! There's not a lot the Thai Govt. get right but that sure is one of them. What makes that lovely man, who would say something like " I won't be responsible for any children I father here" think another country would want him as a citizen. Or are you telling me he was a lovely chap until he discovered the Thai laws and only then became a scum bag?

As for your point about 'Thai ladies actively discouraging their partners from learning English'. Do you think there might be a reason why she's your ex? Perhaps she wasn't 'The one' after all. Not the one to take home to meet the folks. No normal Thai woman would do such a thing. If they do, take it as the first sign to get on your toes, the honeymoon will soon be over!

You seem like a decent chap, mate.

Unless you have never learned the concept of "Implication" then its hard to understand why you would not realise that suggesting:

...it was my duty as a father to make sure his first language is English and that we would be going home when his high school education starts.

implies that it he is falling short of his duties. If that is not gonna upset someone, I don't know what is?

If you had not used that inflamatory language I would not be making this point but you seem to have no idea how "superior" such terms make you sound. In Pattaya I think you'd be lucky not to be taking your dinner through a straw...

You make it sound like the bloke was standing on a soap box, shouting at random people as they went by. They were sitting together in a bar or restaurant. He said what he said, then the OP told him how he did things differently (correctly) You're giving the bloke a hard time because he used the words 'My duty'? Extremely harsh.

I get the feeling if the man then asked for help, advice how to do things better, the OP would have willingly obliged. I don't think he's as self rightious as you maintain.

At the end of the day, it's a bit hard to not come across as being "superior" as you called it, when you so quite clearly are. Just by being yourself, that will happen anyway. It would be a bit like me blaming Carl Lewis for making me look slow in a running race, would hardly be his fault.

It's very apt you should say that in Pattaya, someone would have put him in hospital for such a comment, because I would put a lot of money on that that's where they met.

LOZ

i CAN think of a few guys who would have stuck the dinner down his throat,plate an all

And you had the audacity to say that I'm a keyboard warrior with a nasty edge!!

Pot, kettle, black, my friend.

^^^

Don't worry about it somtampet. WOOHOO is my very own internet leg-humper. He seems to follow me around the forum. I feel honoured, really.

Don't flatter yourself mate.

I think you'll find I had made several posts before you got here.

If it seems that I pay more attention to your posts than others, it's because I genuinely have issues with what you say, pretty much all of the time. It's not a witch hunt, I assure you.

Not that I'm calling you a witch.

Now thats a man with a very nasty tongue,a keyboard warrior and no doubt a perfect Bangkokian parent.

People like you should be banned from forums with that nasty edge to you.

To what are you referring?

If you're too tender to have a conversation with someone, who has strong feelings about what is border line child abuse, in my opinion, then I think public forums may not be the best place for you!!