2008bangkok

Does anybody know the exact details if a boy wants to leave at 15, to go live somewhere else?

IV posted about my issues so wojt go through the whole lot but if I have full custody and my is 15 can he just decide to leave, some have said yes, some have no 18, so have said 20.

I do know if a custody hearing is set and the boy is 15 then the judge will take Into account his views, but that's not the same thing as it's already set.

Women, just go for it without understanding the consiquences

Completely irrisponsible to being out a line like that

On 7/10/2023 at 3:21 PM, john donson said:

you live here long enough to know police are not interested in doing the job...

 

I went to a police station to notify my ex stole hundred of thousands of baht...

well we were still married at the time of theft, tried to get my money back, never did, divorce happened...  and apparently, spouses can steal whatever, during marriage, ... never prosecuted for it anyway, even there is a law against...

 

the only thing they could say was, instead of writing a report, was, you have to go to another police station 30km away, even the police station is a few km where I live...

 

you got your visa, great...

 

you do not have to show his birth certificate, id card and tabien baan ?

 

if he would change his official address and tabien baan, will you be able to still apply for the parent of thai visa extension ?

 

I was in the situation for many year, parent of thai visa, but not on retirement...

 

if the child ghost you while it is time next year to go to immigration...

 

did you not have to provide photos of him and you outside and inside your place to live, proof you paid school, etc... ???

 

It seems they are not no, shame really.

The paperwork I had to show was for him anyway, photos round the house with both of us, copy of ID, copy of birth certificate, copy of house book, copy of divorce and papers showing full custody.

No need for school reciepts or any proof what school he is at.

Changing the blue book doesn't matter either as the one I showed wasn't even for the house we are living. 

The only really concern for them is who has custody of him and that's me and that won't change unless she wants to take me to court to see if it can be changed and I don't think she got the time or money to do that.

Fortunately when the passport does come back as it's at immigration currently waiting after the 30 day consideration but next year I will be 50 so of I'm still here then I can get a retirement visa which doesn't need any paperwork about family stuff.

8 hours ago, ezzra said:

Wow, 30 years for streaming TV shows? not that i feel sorry for the guy, but murderess an rapists  gets lesser sentences that this, very out of proportion in my opinion.

Not that IV bothered checking but I would imagine that they all got 30 years together not each and the media run with that.

That's way to extreme sentence.

15 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

Yes, we've been over that ad nauseam. What is not clear is how the mother is breaking the law is the son goes over there of his own volition. 

 

You say you want the police to enforce the law. Does that mean you want them to drag the boy back to you and or incarcerate the mother? 

 

 

She is breaking the law as I am saying he cannot stay with her unless I say that's it's OK and  I know he is actually there.

Yes, I do want the police to drag him back and if necessary at least give her a warning, if she continues to flaunt the law have her charged.

Like I said as much as I want to, I respect the decision about my daughter.

1 hour ago, Yellowtail said:

As do I mate, as do I. 

The court says she is not allowed to have her son visit her? 

 

Did the court also say you could not visit your daughter? 

I already told you she is not allowed without my permission.

And no I don't see my daughter if she doesn't want me to, which is becoming more frequent 

45 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

Again, what specifically would you have the police do? 

 

What law is being broken by the boy and/or his mother? 

 

In any event, I doubt your obvious contempt for the mother and (apparently) Thais in general is helping anything. 

 

 

Mate, sometimes I wonder about the stupidity of people.

What law is broken is she is not allowed to have him, simple 

9 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

What specifically would you have the police do? 

 

Saying enforce the law, or that the child must be returned by law is a non-answer. 

 

Again, you are going to have to bite the bullet and perhaps grovel a bit to get on reasonable terms with the wife. She holds all the cards, except that she cannot physically keep the child from you, which she is not doing. 

The only cards she holds is she is Thai.

In an ideal world we could sit down for a coffee and discuss why he is doing this and what we can do to resolve this for his best interest but she won't, so that then becomes an issue.

For example he turned up in-between this post the other day, and he done another runner when I asked him to have a shower and go to sleep, he refused then ran off, I assumed after trying to find him he gone back mum's, 4am she said he isn't back so where he gone, it's this thing that then becomes a danger to his safety.

But still no anwser

Kinda strange but I thought police are there to uphold the law

On 7/1/2023 at 1:10 AM, kwonitoy said:

His room didn't get into this kind of state in one day.

So, as a single father, as am I, also with full parental powers, with an 11 year old Thai/Canadian son where are your housekeeping standards?

My son and I mop the floors together and vacuum the rugs, he does the laundry because I taught him how to do so, have you?

I show him how to cook and buy food, change a light switch, build Ikea furniture, etc, you know dad things

speak to him respectfully and it will be returned

My son and I say please and thank you and your welcome to each other because I taught being polite is free and beneficial,  and I try lead by example 

You've obviously ignored this for weeks if not longer and then expect him to tidy it when you decide

Get your son, and together tidy the place up together, set a standard, follow it yourself and he might also.

It won't sink in a day but keep that standard up.

If I was your kid I'd go to moms place also

Learn some dad skills and lose the "It's my way because I say so"

I have asked, but get the "I'll do it 2mw" , I leave it for fear of this exact thing happens.

Thanks for all the advice good and bad.

I would like to say this.

1. I have a visa so that's not a problem, the people who write it's all about a visa are just cruel.

2. I do not go to the school as that would be a problem which I could get done for if anybody complained, I have been speaking to the teachers, director and police and it's obvious through dialogue they are not 1 bit interested.

3. It's very easy for me to just go Arr sod it let him do what he wants but than then sets the stage for worse to come. I have full legal control and that should be regonised by authorities but it's not.

4. I have said many times it's not about what I want, it's about what's the right thing to do, at 14 you are not allowed to just do what you want that's why there are laws specifically saying that, so while my son wants to live with his mum and I fully understand, he cannot do, nor can the mother do what she is doing, but as everyone knows the police are somewhat sloppy nothing gets done unless you fight for justice.

2 minutes ago, kwonitoy said:

His room didn't get into this kind of state in one day.

So, as a single father, as am I, also with full parental powers, with an 11 year old Thai/Canadian son where are your housekeeping standards?

My son and I mop the floors together and vacuum the rugs, he does the laundry because I taught him how to do so, have you?

I show him how to cook and buy food, change a light switch, build Ikea furniture, etc, you know dad things

speak to him respectfully and it will be returned

My son and I say please and thank you and your welcome to each other because I taught being polite is free and beneficial,  and I try lead by example 

You've obviously ignored this for weeks if not longer and then expect him to tidy it when you decide

Get your son, and together tidy the place up together, set a standard, follow it yourself and he might also.

It won't sink in a day but keep that standard up.

If I was your kid I'd go to moms place also

Learn some dad skills and lose the "It's my way because I say so"

Living standards.ok..id say 

51 minutes ago, balo said:

I am not surprised, the kids want to be with their Thai family.

Yes , I agree, so stick it in 

37 minutes ago, Dan O said:

It seems there is an issue more with the son than the mom. If the boy hates being at your house to the point he runs away like you describe that's where attention needs to be shown. I would be working on the issues with the son and resolve that as that's where the problem is.

Man, I know what I'm doing after all I'm the Dad

1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I wonder about your conviction that they learned perfect English from their dad... 

I'm casual wirh muppets 

Let me explain for the norms, my daughter will phone me ask for an new ipad, I say no, I'm gonna just start handing out ipads when you being naughty, then just gets a cob on.for 5.days and won't answer the phone, then literally phoned me a min ago and asked for 500 baht to get snacks, ok , it's in.

It just doesn't seem.to resolute how naughty they being, it's like let try Daddy again.

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Since I left the navy I never, ever made my bed. ???? 

Probably rebellious lol

2 minutes ago, n00dle said:

If the mother were to support the agreement the child would realize that there is little point in running away. She doesnt need to kick the kid out, she just need to alert the father so he can collect.  

This is only a bigh deal of the parents arent unified and cosistent

Thank.you sir, shows some.get it

28 minutes ago, buick said:

let me add this one on the clean the bedroom situation.  my mother's bedroom has always been neat and tidy.  a few minutes after she wakes up, she makes the bed, including a dozen 'decorative' pillows.  nothing is ever out of place.  even her closet looks perfect with everything just as it should be.

 

then you look at buick's bedroom, closet, etc... and it is a total disaster.  i make my bed right before i get into at night (not when i wake up).  when it's time to do laundry (i have always done laundry), i pick up the clothes from the floor, chair, desk, wherever they might be.  my closet is just stuff piled up other stuff.  a disaster zone.

 

i always told my mom that i close my bedroom door for a reason.  don't bother to look in there.  both of us keep other parts of our residences neat and tidy.  but the bedroom 'management' has always been exact opposites.   i remember when people would come to do work at the house, they would tell me 'buick, your mother is a very clean lady'.  she's always had a maid and she literally cleans before the maid comes.  she's worried the maid might think the house is dirty.  when i visited recently she was sweeping up the floor around the dining room table, the maid was due to arrive in about 30 minutes.

 

thanks for the opportunity to get this rant out. 

Rant is cool, but again I'm skool, your mum is setting an example making her bed, it's not your space is yours and mine is.mine.

It's sloppy, now I agree when I was 14 I didn't see that but at 49 I see the importance of cleandiness on all levels, as the great jocko.wilko.says, make.your bed in the morning starts you off to a good day, don't make your bed your lazy all day

26 minutes ago, DrJack54 said:

That provides much more flexible options, especially you suggesting he can (within reason) stay over night at mothers.

Even better if both children can stay at your place when it suits both parents.

 

I'm sure that you are aware as a parent of Thai child you can obtain annual extensions based on being parent of Thai.

 

Having child living with you is not a condition of that application 

I have it coming,  crap loads of paperwork 3 weeks ago which was just me and my son , last week of consideration, dunno why you need 30 day consideration but how it is 

Just now, Bday Prang said:

you let him drive at 14 years old?

A bicycle ????

Ride probably better word, sorry

3 minutes ago, DrJack54 said:

Seriously!

They are meant to do what is best for the children.

You are not splitting financial assets here.

The concern is siblings.

 

What I don't understand is why keeping children together and you being given as much visitation rights as possible including overnight stays etc.

Holidays away etc was not the preferred option. 

 

If you can't or don't want to live in same area as the mothers home then that becomes difficult. 

 

This is not really your normal situation Dr Jack, at this moment in time me and her live not far although I don't know where but my son has to drive past the soi to get to school, he could go back there every night on his way home and have his tea, could even stay there every night if he asked no problem, but the base must be with me is all I'm asking.

It's not clear cut, right you take her I'm having him and never the 2 shall meet, or you won't see him again.No

Also they are getting to the age 15 soon and 13 where they get on each other's nerves, 

I'm pretty sure living in a studio is actually getting on mum's nerves with both lol, but she is so stubborn she trying to one up me.

It was only last month we signed the papers

14 minutes ago, DrJack54 said:

16 years old. 

He will do his own thing soon enough and in meantime you are on fast tract to lose contact with both kids. 

 

The judge was a fool to approve/order the siblings to be separated.

Ludicrous. 

More likely a bad idea from someone else. 

Common practice when both want full custody of both, what they meant to do, meet in the middle.

6 minutes ago, Goat said:

Well that is an interesting excuse.

I am sure most will agree that if the father can speak the local lingo he will be more aware of education requirements, can speak with his childrens teachers, not rely on others for simple day to day tasks like telling delivery men how to get to the house, etc etc.

 

Nothing to stop you from refraining from using Thai with your children. 

 

Most jobs in Thailand dont use English anyway.

But the ones that do my kids will get 5x because it's automatic assumed they ain't thick as 

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And why do you bring this topic up here for discussion?

Did you hope that lots of members will tell you: Force your son to do what you want. 

 

I would bet that "it is my way and that's it, no other way" is a sure way to make the situation worse. And if one day, maybe in a few years, you think about what you did wrong, then maybe remember this discussion.

I stupidly throughout I could get some advice off people who have been In similar situations, but that would be to easy, so I got to dust off the battle armour